Bachelor Father (3 page)

“No, I want to go for a drive with you. I brought her infant seat, just in case we did want to take her out somewhere with us. It’s up in the room. Wait here.”

She set the diaper bag down and hurried away before he could protest that this was all too complicated. He stood in the light rain waiting for her, the diaper bag by his feet. He’d always suspected babies were a lot of trouble, for a million reasons.

He was surprised by how quickly she returned with some contraption that she asked him to belt into the back seat so the kid was facing backward. All the baby would see was upholstery. It didn’t look like much fun for the baby, but he remembered park visitors with similar child seats. He had to move some camping stuff to make room. Part of the reason he’d bought the king cab was to have a place out of the weather to keep his sleeping bag and small tent. The very tent, in fact, that Katherine had shared with him. The rain started coming down harder just as he finished.

“Let’s get both of you in, then you can put her back there.” He picked up the diaper bag.

“Okay.”

He opened the passenger door, but it soon became obvious she’d have trouble getting in while Amanda was still strapped to her. He didn’t want to touch her, but it was the expedient choice now that the rain was really sluicing down from the sky. Setting down the diaper bag, he put his hands around her waist and lifted her and the baby onto the front seat. His hands spanned her waist perfectly, just as they had when he’d lifted her on top of him and eased her down over... No, he couldn’t think about that.

“Thank you.” She didn’t look at him.

He noticed the pulse at her throat throbbed and a pink flush tinged her cheeks. He wondered if his touch had anything to do with that. She might not want to maintain any permanent connection with him, but apparently he affected her. He’d bet she found that very inconvenient. Well, so did he.

“Watch your arms,” he said. “I have to slam this to get it shut.” He heaved the door closed, and by the time he climbed in, the baby was crying. He hoped to hell that wasn’t going to go on very long. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked.

“Just the loud noise of the door closing, I think.” Katherine jiggled the baby and crooned to her. Then she lifted her out of the pouch and nuzzled her cheeks. “There, there, Mandy. You’re safe. Don’t be scared.”

Zeke sat immobilized by her tenderness. For some stupid reason it made his throat ache to watch her cuddle that baby. You’d think he’d never seen a mother and baby before. To be honest, he hadn’t been this close to many. Growing up on the ranch had meant being around lots of boys and young men. The couple who’d run the place had a daughter, little Lindsay Duncan, who now owned the place, but she was already a toddler by the time Zeke arrived.

Amanda’s crying tapered off to small gasps and one hiccup. Then she quietly stared up at her mother with an unblinking gaze.

“That’s my girl!” Katherine talked in a special singsong way and smiled at the baby. “Can you give Mommy a happy smile?” She tickled the side of Amanda’s cheek. “Come on now, big smile. That’s it.
Big
smile.”

To Zeke’s utter fascination, Amanda did smile, which seemed to make her cheeks look chubbier and gave her a double chin. It was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and he knew cute when he saw it. Nothing matched a couple of tumbling bear cubs, or nothing had until now.

“Some experts say that a two-month-old isn’t really smiling,” Katherine said. “That it’s just a reflex, or gas.”

Zeke could tell from the more adult tone in her voice that Katherine was speaking to him, not Amanda. “Looks like a smile to me,” he said.

“Of course it’s a smile.” Katherine lapsed back into her melodious baby talk. “We know a smile when we see one, don’t we, Mandy? Yes, we do! Now, let’s get you back in your seat.” She lifted the baby from the pouch and handed her to Zeke. “Take her for a minute so I can turn around and get ready to lay her in there.”

“Take her?” He pulled back as if she’d tried to give him a live grenade.

“Just for a minute.”

“I don’t know how to hold a baby!”

“Pipe down. You’ll scare her again. Just support her head with your hand and the rest of her in the crook of your arm.” She settled the baby into his arms and adjusted his hold. “Like that.”

His body stiffened and his heart began to pound as he realized he had total responsibility for keeping this baby alive for the next couple of minutes. “I’m going to drop her. I just know it. Or squeeze her wrong and break something.”

“I doubt that.” Katherine knelt on the seat and began fiddling with the carrier in the back.

For the first time Zeke noticed what she was wearing—a long flowered skirt and a sleeveless blouse the color of young grass. The light material of the skirt stretched tight across her bottom as she adjusted the straps on the infant seat. Zeke tried not to pay attention.

He also became aware of two very pleasant scents replacing the smell of musty canvas that usually filled his cab. One was sweet and fresh, probably baby powder, but the other had a sexy tang to it. When he’d spent the night with Katherine she’d had no toiletries at all, let alone perfume. He’d even let her borrow his toothbrush. He’d loved the natural fragrance of her body, but this other was seductive in its own way. He liked it. He liked it way too much, in fact.

Amanda made a noise and jerked her small body.

He held her tighter. “Don’t do that,” he instructed the baby.

She stared up at him.

He found himself staring back. Her eyes were a soft blue, yet Katherine’s were hazel and his were brown. “Why are her eyes blue?” he asked.

Katherine answered as she continued to fuss with the seat. “Because she’s so young. The doctor said as she gets older they’ll probably turn hazel, like mine.”

He continued to study the baby. Her skin wasn’t as pale as Katherine’s, yet not as bronzed as his. His skin-color genes and Katherine’s must have combined into this shade, which was kind of nice. The thought of his genes combining with anyone’s blew him away. Then he noticed the small dimple in her chin, a dimple just like...his mother’s.

“Okay, hand her to me.”

Zeke was so afraid of dropping the baby in transit that the process of giving her to Katherine involved a lot of physical contact. And memories—the tickle of the downy hair on her forearm, the coolness of her fingers against his skin, the rhythm of her breathing.

While she strapped the baby securely in the seat, he faced forward and took several deep breaths himself, just to get over the dizziness of being so close to Katherine.

Finally she was back and buckled herself in.

He started the engine and turned to her. “We might be gone a couple of hours. Do you have what you need?”

“Yes. I have extra diapers and I’m breast-feeding. We’ll be fine.”

He wished she hadn’t given out that bit of information. He didn’t need to be presented with a picture of her unfastening her blouse and offering her breast to Amanda’s little pink mouth. He’d be wise to get them both back to the lodge before that became necessary.

A car horn beeped and Zeke jumped. In his preoccupation with Katherine and Amanda, he’d totally forgotten his truck was sitting in a crowded parking lot blocking traffic. “Guess we’d better get rolling.” Then he turned the key and ground the starter motor because he hadn’t remembered the engine was already running.

Get a grip, Lonetree.
Anyone who knew him would get a kick out of seeing him rattled, he thought. Among the other rangers, he was famous for never losing his cool. He’d faced bears, rattlers, even escaped convicts with calm detachment. But he’d never faced a situation like this one, and he had a feeling it was going to take every ounce of courage he could dredge up.

CHAPTER THREE

K
ATHERINE
WATCHED
the windshield wipers slap back and forth while she thought about what she’d done, running after Zeke like that. She’d have a tough time explaining herself to Naomi. She could just hear her godmother—
He was ready to give up all parental rights and you talked him out of it? Where was your brain, girl?

Her brain had very little to do with it. She’d been operating on instinct, and right now her instincts told her this was right, for the three of them to be heading down the road together in the rain. Zeke had left the main highway to follow a narrow two-lane road with little traffic on it. Safe in the truck cab with Zeke, she felt cozy, almost peaceful. She hadn’t felt that way for a long time, maybe not since the night she’d spent with him in his tent.

She glanced at Zeke and realized she’d never seen him at the wheel of a vehicle. He looked good there—competent and sexy. The day after her tumble into the river, they’d hiked to a ranger station, and another park service employee had offered to take her back to the Old Faithful Inn so Zeke could return to his campsite and get on with the solitary retreat she’d ruined.

And here she was again, invading his privacy. But for Amanda’s sake, she’d brave it out and hope he’d be willing to accept some part in his daughter’s life.

As if he felt her attention on him, he turned his head. “Should you check her? She seems too quiet.”

“I’m sure she’s asleep. She loves riding.” His comment made her smile. For the first month or so of caring for Amanda she’d had the same fears. She used to wake up twenty times a night and make sure the baby was still breathing. “Sometimes when she’s fussy I bundle her up in her car seat, go outside and hail a cab, just so I can settle her down. It’s worth the cost of a twenty-minute ride around town.”

“You don’t own a car?”

“Nope. Cabs are handier when you’re in Manhattan. I don’t live that far from the office. A car would be more of a nuisance than an advantage.”

He frowned. “But don’t you ever have the urge to get away from the city?”

“Yeah. That’s why I came to Yellowstone last summer.”

“Couldn’t you have found someplace closer?”

“Well, sure. My parents and I used to camp in the Adirondacks when I was a kid, but that seemed too...tame. Besides, I’d been hearing about Yellowstone all my life.”

“So you decided to tackle it alone.”

“I like a challenge.”

His jaw tightened. “I’d say you have one now, with your job and the baby.”

And your stubbornness,
she wanted to add, but didn’t.

“And speaking of your job, what’s Naomi Rutledge’s stake in all this?” he asked.

Katherine decided that revealing Naomi as her godmother would only confuse the issue, so she stuck to the job situation. “She’s offered to let me take over the magazine when she retires. Understandably she’d like my personal life to be under control before she does that.”

He stared out at the rain-swept landscape. “That should be a no-brainer. I’ll bow out of your life and Amanda’s, like I said back at the lodge. Case closed.”

“I think that’s a mistake.” She took note that his jaw now seemed carved in granite. He didn’t appear to be the kind of man who would change his mind easily once it was made up. He’d given her Naomi’s preferred response twice in a row, and she was no more ready to accept his decision than she had been the first time. But she wasn’t sure she could explain why.

“I don’t get it, Katherine.”

A thrill ran through her. It was the first time he’d used her name since they’d met at the lodge, and the sound of it made a definite impact on her, reminding her of the way he’d said her name while they’d made love. “I’m not sure I get it, either,” she said, picking at a loose thread in the stitching of the armrest. But she was beginning to suspect her behavior wasn’t all motivated by Amanda’s welfare. She’d been intrigued with Zeke a year ago. She still was. She’d told him the truth about liking challenges, and he certainly presented a huge one.

“Why didn’t you contact me when you found out you were pregnant?”

At last—an easy question, one she’d been meaning to answer for him right away, but the sensual vibrations between them kept sidetracking her. “I had a very difficult time during the pregnancy,” she said, glancing up. “The doctor said I was very likely to miscarry.”

“All the more reason to—”

“I didn’t see it that way. You were concerned about birth control that night, so I didn’t think you’d welcome the idea that I was pregnant. There was no point in getting you involved unless there really would be a baby. I wasn’t sure of that until the minute she was born.”

His voice was tight. “That was two months ago. Did you forget to pay your phone bill? Or maybe you ran out of stamps. That can happen.”

“I couldn’t picture having a conversation about this over the phone. And a letter seemed even worse.” She turned in her seat to look at him squarely. “Look, we got caught by a weird set of circumstances. I’ve tried to do what I thought was best. Maybe I’ve made some mistakes, but I—”

A loud bang interrupted her sentence and the truck lurched. Automatically she swiveled toward the back seat as Amanda started to cry and Zeke started to swear.

He eased the truck to the side of the road. “Sit tight. We have a blowout.” He opened his door and cool rain blew in.

“Do you have a spare?”

“I think that was the spare that just blew.” He climbed down and slammed the door.

Her heartbeat quickened. No spare. Before having Amanda, she wouldn’t have been all that concerned, even if they’d had to walk back to civilization in the rain. But now she couldn’t afford to be stranded.

Unbuckling her seat belt, she turned around and unfastened Amanda from her car seat to bring her up to the front. The baby wailed pitifully, her face scrunched up and her arms waving in the air. Katherine glanced at her watch and decided that the loud noise wasn’t the only thing that had upset Amanda. She was due for some chow.

* * *

R
AIN
SOAKED
Z
EKE
’
S
flannel shirt as he gazed at the hole in the sidewall of the left front tire and swore some more. He hardly ever drove the truck because he used park service vehicles when he was on duty. This afternoon when he’d started for the lodge, he’d remembered he hadn’t fixed the flat after a nail had punctured it a couple of months ago, but it was too late to worry about it then.

He calculated the distance back to the lodge versus the distance to his little cabin. The cabin was closer. If he drove slowly, he might make it without damaging the rim too badly. Then he could call somebody from there.

Of course, that meant dragging Katherine and the baby to his cabin. He hadn’t intended to do that, even though he’d been driving in that direction. He just happened to like this road, which was one of the reasons he’d decided to buy a couple of acres out here and put up a small log house. He had no neighbors within several miles, but he did have a phone, running water and electricity. Most of the time.

With one last disgusted look at the tire, he climbed back in the truck. “I think—”

“Close the door gently if you can, so you don’t startle her.”

He glanced at Katherine and caught his breath. Her green blouse was unfastened, although she’d modestly pulled it around her so that her breast barely showed. Somehow that made the whole picture more erotic to Zeke. Rain drummed on the roof of the cab, but he could still hear the soft sucking noises Amanda made while she nursed.

He pulled the door closed as best he could, knowing he’d have to open it and slam it again before they started driving. Then he stared straight ahead and tried to concentrate on following the path of an individual raindrop as it slid down the windshield.

He seemed to be having trouble getting enough air, and he cracked his window open a little.

A woman nursing her child was no big deal, he told himself. He lived among wild animals who raised their young that way, and this was the very same activity. Except it wasn’t even close. A year ago he’d desperately wanted this woman, and she’d desperately wanted him. Now the result of their mating that night lay in her arms, the tiny mouth fastened to her breast. God help him, he wanted this woman still.

“Is the tire done for?” she asked quietly.

“Pretty much.” He cleared the hoarseness from his throat and hoped she hadn’t attached any significance to his husky tone of voice. He didn’t want her to know how she affected him.

“Maybe somebody will come along.”

“That’s not too likely.” He took a deep breath and let it out. He wanted to touch her, to cradle her breasts in both hands as he once had, to taste her. “Not many people use this road, and this isn’t a good day for sightseeing.”

“Zeke, please don’t...don’t leave me here and go for help.”

He glanced at her in astonishment. “It never occurred to me.”

Relief shone in her eyes. “Maybe I’m being silly. If I didn’t have Amanda I wouldn’t mind, but—”

“I wouldn’t leave you.” His pulse raced as he gazed into her eyes and saw the fulfillment she drew from nursing her child. No woman had ever looked so beautiful to him, so desirable, as Katherine did now. Motherhood had given her a glow that he found almost irresistible. But he would have to resist.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

For a moment he wondered if she was asking about the flat tire or if she wanted a solution to their much bigger problem. He didn’t have one for it. But she probably was talking about the tire. “We’ll drive on it,” he said. “I have a cabin out here. It’s not far. From there we can call a tow truck.”

“You live out here?” She sounded quite interested.

“Yeah, when I’m not on duty at the park. It beats renting an apartment somewhere.”

She nodded. “I can’t picture you in an apartment. I imagine you clearing the land and building something out of logs, like Daniel Boone or Davy Crockett.”

That made him smile. “Which is exactly what I did.”

She gazed at him, her expression wistful. “That’s the first time you’ve smiled since we met at the lodge.”

“Yeah, well, this experience hasn’t been a laugh a minute.”

“I hate that it’s so painful for you. She’s a beautiful little girl, and I wish you could share some of the joy I feel.”

“You’re really happy about this?” All along he’d thought she was being a good sport for the baby’s sake.

“How could I help being happy? Maybe I was a bit shocked when the doctor told me I was pregnant, but in about five minutes the shock wore off and I started feeling excited. A new life was growing inside me. That’s a miraculous thing, Zeke.”

He wondered if he’d have reacted that positively if she’d called to tell him right away. Maybe not, but he’d never know. Well-meaning though she might have been, she’d cheated him out of that sense of anticipation. “But what about your career? Isn’t this messing things up for you?”

“It could, if I had a different boss, but Naomi gave me all the time off I needed to make sure this baby had a chance to survive. Now that she’s here, I’m able to take her to the office with me, and when she’s a toddler she can stay in
Cachet’s
in-house nursery while I work.” She paused. “My only regret is whatever trouble I’m causing you.”

“You haven’t caused me any yet.” She’d caused him a fair share of heartache, but she’d protected him from any inconvenience so far. He wasn’t sure he thanked her for that.

“We wouldn’t be stuck out on this road if it weren’t for me.”

“We wouldn’t, but I would be. This tire would have blown on the way back home whether you were riding with me or not. And I probably would have decided to drive on it instead of hiking through the rain to the cabin.”

“That makes me feel a little bit better.” She glanced down at Amanda. “I think she’s about finished. If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll burp her and put her back in her carrier so we can get going.”

“Sure.” He understood the message. He was supposed to stop looking at her and focus on something outside the cab so she could get herself together again. With some regret he did that, staring across a meadow to the misty forest beyond. Normally he could see the Tetons from here, but the clouds had moved in and completely covered them.

For once the landscape he’d grown to love didn’t interest him. He tried to ignore the rustle of clothing as Katherine buttoned her blouse, but it was pretty tough to ignore the happy little sounds she made as she talked softly to Amanda in the process.

He wondered if his mother had ever talked to him that way, with a singsong lilt to her voice. All he remembered were the frowns and the switches made of willow, and even those memories were hazy now. He’d only been three when she’d driven him to the entrance of Lost Springs and ordered him out of the car, but he still remembered everything about that moment—the clothes he’d had on, the smell of the dirt under his feet, the hawk circling overhead in a huge, cloudless sky.

“I’ll burp her, change her diaper, and we’re done,” Katherine said.

Zeke took that as his cue that it was safe to look at her again. Sure enough, she was properly dressed now, with Amanda propped over her shoulder as she patted the baby’s back. He’d probably never have the chance to watch her nurse Amanda again. Maybe that was best.

Amanda made a sound like a bullfrog. The magnitude of it startled Zeke. “Does that hurt her?”

“Nope.” Katherine smiled. “It would hurt her if I let that gas stay in her tummy. Then she’d really scream. Listen, would you mind getting me the diaper bag from the back? This will just take a second.”

He leaned over the back seat and hauled the multicolored bag up front. He placed it between them where she could reach it. “Want me to look away again?”

Katherine laughed as she placed Amanda on a pad on her lap and popped the snaps on the baby’s pink jumpsuit. “Not on Amanda’s account. She’s a free spirit who doesn’t mind in the least who sees her naked.”

“Unlike her mother.” After he’d led her back to his camp last summer, she’d made him hang a blanket between two trees so she could hide behind it when she took off her soaked clothes.