Baby Momma Drama (8 page)

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Authors: Carl Weber

BOOK: Baby Momma Drama
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“I was doin’ okay till you showed up with that sour-ass look on your face. Monica is wrong for doin’ you like this.”
“Yeah, well, I’m over her.” Joe knew I was lying. I could see it in the look he gave me. But I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my broken heart, so I changed the subject. “All I wanna do is get that son of a bitch Jordan for pulling that gun on me”
“That, my brotha, you don’t have to worry about. I’ve got something in the works that’ll make Mr. Jordan Brown wish he’d never met you or your woman.” I knew whatever Joe had planned, Jordan was in for a world of hurt. Joe was the type of brother that liked to play games. When it came to revenge, he was the master. Somehow, I felt better knowing he was on the job.
“Look, man, I need a little favor,” he asked, changing the subject again.
“Name it.”
“Remember that woman Rebecca from the post office I met at your store?”
“Yeah, the one who came in with that brown-skinned wench, looking for the Brotherman comics.”
“Yeah, that’s her.”
“What about her?”
“Well she’s coming down from Richmond tonight”—Joe hesitated for a minute—“and she’s bringing her friend Jasmine with her. I was hoping that you might—”
“Ah, hell no, Joe! You know I can’t stand that bitch!”
“Come on, Dylan. It’s just one night.”
“No way, Joe. No way am I baby-sitting the customer from bell.”
“How many times do I ask you for a favor, Dylan?”
He was right. Joe never asked me for much. He’d just offered to take care of Jordan for me. Still, asking me to spend an evening with Jasmine was like asking me to cut off my right arm. Rebecca and Jasmine had been customers in my Richmond store a few days before. Rebecca, a dark-skinned cutie with dimples to kill for and a short finger-wave hair-style, was fine as hell. She was wearing a Post Office uniform, but it didn’t matter, ’cause baby had all kinds of back. Straight up, she was the only woman I’d met since Monica and I separated that came close to piquing my interest, and she was flirting with me from the minute she walked in. I was just about to make a move when good old Joe walked into the store. Well, that was the end of that. I don’t know if it was his light skin or his height, but he definitely stole Rebecca’s attention from me. Before I knew it, they’d walked away and left me with Jasmine.
While Rebecca was all temptation, Jasmine was all business, and to be honest, I don’t really remember much about her physical appearance. But I do remember her mouth. She was a real bitch. I didn’t make a habit of using that word to describe a woman, but in Jasmine’s case it fit. She had asked me for some hard-to-find comics called
Brotherman.
I brought her to the front counter and explained to her that they were expensive. She didn’t seem concerned about the price until I rang them up and asked her for $130.00. That’s when she turned into the kid in
The Exorcist.
As God is my witness, that woman cursed me out in ways I never thought possible. She called me a nigger, an Uncle Tom, a sellout, a black motherfucker. All because she thought I was trying to rip her off with the price of a comic book. She made such a scene, the other customers dropped their comics and left. I gave her the price guide to prove I wasn’t cheating her, but she threw it back at me. I probably could have dealt with all that. We had customers every day that didn’t understand the collectibles market. But she took things to another level. Would you believe that ignorant bitch had the nerve to tell me, “That’s why I don’t shop in black businesses. ’Cause niggas never do shit right!” She stomped out of the store, grabbing her friend Rebecca. On her way out the door, she said she knew where a white-owned comic book store was and that she’d get what she needed there.
I could feel my temples throb just thinking about that shit, so I turned to Joe and refused his request. “Read my lips, Joe. No fucking way!”
I wasn’t about to give him time to talk me out of leaving. I was about to slide out of the booth without another word, but as I turned to leave, there they were, Rebecca and her friend Jasmine, the customer from hell.
“Hey, Joey,” Rebecca squealed, sliding into the booth next to him.
“Hi, Dylan.” Jasmine actually sounded timid as she sat next to me.
“What’s up?” I mumbled rudely. I didn’t make eye contact with her as I kicked Joe’s ankle beneath the table.
“What’d you do that for?” he yelped.
“Damn, Joe. I’m sorry. It was an accident.” I gave him an evil look. “Anyway, I’m outta here.” But instead of moving so I could get out of the booth, Jasmine put her hand on my arm.
“Dylan, before you leave, can I speak to you?”
“You already called me a nigger and a sellout. I don’t think there’s anything else to be said unless you’ve learned to curse in another language or something. Now could you get out of my way?” I demanded, barely able to look at her face.
“Please, Dylan. It’ll only take a minute. What are you afraid of, anyway?”
“Afraid of? Do you know where I’m from?” I took a deep breath, rolling my eyes at Joe. “Look, Jasmine, I’m already mad at one woman, okay? So unless you want me to take my aggravation out on you, let me pass.” The two of us were now locked in an angry stare.
“Dylan, man, do me a favor. Just talk to her.” Joe tried to intervene before we had a repeat of the other day.
“For what, Joe?”
“Because I asked you to, that’s why. I didn’t hesitate when you asked me to help you with Jordan, did I?”
I pointed my finger at him weakly. “This shit ain’t fair and you know it.”
“Life ain’t fair, Dylan.” He smiled as he put his arm around Rebecca.
“Come on, Jasmine.” I glared at her. “You got five minutes to speak your piece. And don’t be cursing at me.”
“Hey, you can have all the privacy you need right here.” Joe stood and grabbed Rebecca’s hand. “Come on, baby, I been waiting all night to see you dance.”
“Is that so?” she giggled.
“You damn right! My daddy told me once, you can always tell how good a woman is in bed by the way she dances.”
“Well, then, baby, you’re in for one hell of a treat,” she pulled him closer and winked, “’cause I damn sure can dance.”
The two of them moved out to the dance floor, and Jasmine nervously moved into Joe’s seat across from me. I was amazed at how attractive she was. With all the attitude she had given me when we first met, I never really bothered to take a good look. She had big, light-brown eyes and a dark-caramel complexion. Her hair was the same color as her eyes and she wore it feathered back over her shoulders. It was hard to judge her figure, because she was sitting, but I did get a good view of her ample cleavage. I was so busy admiring her looks that for a second I forgot what I was so mad about
“Dylan,” she interrupted my fantasy. “I’m not used to doing this.... I guess my personality can be a little overbearing. But I want to apologize about the way I acted in your store last week. It was very immature. And I figured out you weren’t cheating me when I went to three other stores that tried to charge me almost twice what you did. I’m really sorry I was so ignorant.”
“Okay, let’s say I accept your apology. Why the big change? Where’d all this come from? You were ready to take my head off the other day. Now you come all the way to Petersburg to apologize?” I’m sorry, but call me a skeptic. I wanted to know why I was so blessed. I just didn’t believe she didn’t have another motive.
“Look, Dylan, I’m woman enough to admit when I’m wrong. You’re a black business owner who I embarrassed in front of a store full of white customers. You don’t know how bad I felt about that when I got home.”
“Not half as bad as I felt”
“I can imagine. That’s why I wanted to apologize. I truly believe black women need to raise up our men, not tear them down. I was out of line and I’m sorry.”
I was blown away as she finished her minispeech. In less than five minutes this woman had gone from the outhouse to the penthouse in my book. She was genuine. So I figured I’d accept her olive branch and perhaps extend one of my own.
“Apology accepted. Matter of fact, why don’t you come by and pick up those
Brothermans?
I’ll give you ten percent off.”
“Thanks. I just might do that.” She smiled.
“Well, now that that’s settled, can I buy you a drink?” I lifted my hand to get the barmaid’s attention.
“Okay, but you’d better make it a double.” She pointed to Joe and Rebecca, kissing on the dance floor. “I have a feeling we’re going to be spending a lot of time together tonight.” Our laughter was a signal that the tension between us had lifted.
“So, you’re obviously not a comic book collector,” I said as we chitchatted over our drinks. “Who are the
Brothermans
for?”
“My boyfriend, Derrick. He’s got about ten boxes full of comic books in our apartment. He’s a real collector. He’s even got a
Superman
comic book from nineteen sixty-nine.”
Whoever this brother was, she must have really liked him, ’cause she was grinning from ear to ear at the mention of his name. I didn’t wanna tell her that a 1969
Superman
comic was worth less than the
Brotherman
comics she had refused to buy in the first place. So I just listened to her talk about her man’s comic collection while I sipped on my drink.
“Sounds like this Derrick is a pretty cool guy. There aren’t too many brothers who collect comics seriously. Why don’t you bring him by the shop?” She was unusually silent, which made me suspicious. “He is a brother, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he’s a brother,” she sighed. “But he’s away for the next six months.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s he in? The Army or Navy?”
“He’s in the Na—” she started to say. “No, I’m not going to lie to you. Derrick’s not in the Army or the Navy. He’s in prison.”
I wasn’t sure if she was serious. She just didn’t seem like the type to date a brotha in jail. Then again, if it were up to her, he probably wouldn’t be in jail in the first place.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must be tough not having him around”
“It’s like I’m doing time myself,” she lamented.
“I don’t mean to be nosy, but what’d he do to get locked up?”
She took a long sip of her drink before she answered.
“Derrick was arrested for possession of cocaine with the intent to distribute. They gave him six years. But he should be coming home in six months.” She looked so sad, I was sorry I had even brought it up.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. We can drop the whole thing right now.” I placed my hand on hers.
“No, it’s all right. I’m surprised you’re not trying to judge me like everyone else.”
“That’s not me. To tell you the truth, I have a lot of respect for you. At least you’re sticking by your man. My old lady left me for the biggest player in Petersburg.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s nothin’. After he took my woman, that son of a bitch had the nerve to pull a gun on me.”
“Don’t worry. Her loss is gonna be someone else’s gain. I know quite a few women at the post office that would go crazy for you. You should just forget her. A woman like that it worth it.”
For the better part of an hour we shared basic get-to-know-you facts about ourselves. We discovered that we had graduated college in the same year and actually had a lot of common interests. When I asked her what kind of music she liked, Jasmine mentioned that we hadn’t danced yet Once we hit the floor, we didn’t stop for an hour. And man, could she dance. As I watched her I couldn’t help but think about what Joe had said earlier about dancing and sex. Joe must have seen some good things on the floor himself, because when we got back to the booth, he and Rebecca were kissing like lusty teenagers.
Jasmine and I hadn’t even warmed up the chairs when I felt a soft tapping at my ankle. I knew it was Joe. We had been using this type of signal for years. I looked at him discreetly as he cut his eyes toward the door, so the girls wouldn’t notice. I turned my head in that direction and almost passed out. It was Monica, and right behind her, being frisked by security, was Jordan. The only thing that went through my mind at that moment was that if security let him pass, it meant he wasn’t carrying his gun. I smiled at Joe, hoping he’d be up for a good fight He shook his head to let me know he wasn’t.
“Why not?” I asked loudly, no longer caring what the girls noticed.
“Excuse me, ladies, but Dylan and I have something to discuss in private.” Joe stood and waited for me to follow.
“Is everything all right?” Jasmine asked.
“Oh, everything is just fine,” Joe answered for me, placing his huge arm around the back of my neck and dragging me away from the table. As soon as we were out of sight, Joe put me in a painful headlock and whispered in my ear as he led me into the men’s room.
“Listen to me, Dylan, and listen to me good. I know I promised to help you get Jordan. But tonight’s not the night, man.” He loosened his grip so I could breathe.

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