Baby Experts 02 (7 page)

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jared. At least there, we know exactly how to treat each other. We know exactly what we have to do.”

She left Jared’s house, his mother’s words echoing in her head.
Don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.

To do that, she’d have to be more vulnerable than she’d ever been before. She wasn’t sure being that vulnerable was a risk she wanted to take.

“I’m going to tell Grady I’m pregnant tonight,” Francesca said the next evening. Emily had just walked in the door as her friend was getting ready to go out.

“Where are you meeting him?” Emily asked, assessing Francesca’s western-cut tan pantsuit. Her long, straight brown hair curved over her shoulder. She looked fabulous.

“At the saddle shop.”

“Alone?”

“Hopefully. This isn’t the kind of news I’d want to give him in public. The only thing is—”

“Are you afraid something else will happen?” Emily guessed, and when her friend’s cheeks turned red, she knew she’d guessed correctly.

“I don’t want a relationship, Emily. I’m not ready for one. And things would never work out between us. We’re much too different.”

Emily wondered how many times her friend had told herself that and if she was using it as an excuse. Francesca was just downright afraid to get involved with a man again.

Francesca checked her watch. “I should be going, but tell me how things went with you and Jared today. You were upset when you came home last night.”

“He was at the hospital most of the day. I didn’t see him. Maybe that’s good.”

“Is it?”

“I don’t know. When did life get so complicated?”

Francesca shook her head. “When chemistry turned into more than a science experiment. See you later.”

Emily had to smile at her friend’s assessment of the situation. She took off her jacket and was about to hang it in the closet when the telephone rang. Crossing to the cordless phone beside the sofa, she picked up the handset and checked the caller ID. It was Jared.

“Hello,” she said, not knowing what to expect.

“Emily, it’s Jared.”

“I know.”

“What would we do without caller ID?” he teased lightly. “At least you picked up. That’s a good sign.”

“A good sign for what?”

The silence on his end almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. Then he replied, “I’ve been thinking about last night. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day.”

She waited.

“You were right. There is a connection between us and I’m not sure it’s one I want.”

“That’s why you called?”

She heard him blow out a breath. “I’m not doing this very well. Just let me say I’m not calling because I need help with the girls.”

“I don’t mind helping you, Jared.”

“I know. But now I’d like to do something that doesn’t involve them.”

Was he going to ask her on a date? “Like what?”

“There’s a charity banquet and dance at the Rayburn Hotel on Saturday evening.”

“Yes, I know. I was planning to go with friends.”

“How would you like to go with me instead?”

Actually, she’d been planning to tag along with Vince and Tessa.

“Would your friends mind if you changed your plans?” he cut in before she could think it through.

“No, I don’t suppose they would. I’d been planning to sit with Tessa Rossi and her husband, Vince. Maybe the four of us could share a table, unless you had something else in mind.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“If you’d rather sit with Dr. Pratt or Dr. Layman…” Those were the two men who shared Jared’s practice.

“Larry Pratt isn’t going, and Tom is sitting with the hospital board. The thing is, Emily, I’m not asking you because this is a hospital function.”

“Why are you asking me?” she inquired softly, not wanting to put him on the spot but needing to know.

“I’d like to spend some time with you alone, away from my daughters, away from the practice. I realized—” He
stopped. “I realized what I said last night might have hurt you, and I never meant to do that. Although it’s no excuse, I haven’t had a personal life for a long time.”

“So this is a date?”

“Yes, it’s a date. Are you accepting?”

“I’m accepting.”

“Good.”

She thought she could hear a smile in his voice. Thank goodness she had the rest of the week to think about what to wear. She might have to go shopping!

“That’s settled, then. Dinner starts at eight. I’ll pick you up around seven fifteen. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine.”

“I’m glad you’re going with me, Emily. I really mean that.”

“I’m glad I’m going, too.”

After he said good-bye and hung up, Emily couldn’t keep from smiling. In fact, she felt like singing. She was definitely going to wait up for Francesca tonight and tell her her news.

Francesca knocked at the door of the saddle shop, her palms sweating. Grady had told her to come around back and park there in the small lot. It was well-lit. She wasn’t afraid of getting mugged.

What was she afraid of?

Seeing Grady again? Feeling the attraction that had tumbled them into intimacy? Here was where it had happened—in his office on the blue-denim couch.

Pushing the images out of her head, she knocked sharply on the door again. There was a dim light inside, a brighter one to the right…in his office.

He opened the door and one look into his deep blue eyes told her he, too, was remembering everything that had happened here. He had coal-black hair that she had run her fingers through. He had broad shoulders that had felt so muscled under her hands. He had a stubbled jaw and that stubble had felt—

“Come on in,” he invited her with a Texas drawl that should have seemed ordinary, but wasn’t.

Her mouth went as dry as the west Texas dirt.

She followed him inside, inhaling the scents of leather, wood, other materials he used for his custom-made saddles. She didn’t pay any attention to the worktables, the bench that Grady had told her his dad had handcrafted for him. Rather she followed Grady into that small lit room.

He went behind his desk and sat in the high-back chair. She didn’t sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Instead she stayed standing. “I won’t take up much of your time.”

He leaned back, making the chair squeak. “Take all the time you want. I’m not really thrilled with returning to the bookwork program on my computer.”

To Grady’s right, a cursor blinked on a ledgerlike screen.

There was no point in making small talk. That wasn’t why she had come. “I’m pregnant.”

The two words hung suspended in the air between them.

“Are you saying the baby’s mine?”

She had never imagined he’d doubt that when she told him. “Of course the baby’s yours. You’re the only man I’ve slept with in a year. But if you don’t believe me, then we don’t have anything to talk about.” She turned, ready to leave, almost eager to leave.

But Grady shot out of his desk chair, was around his desk, and grabbing her elbow. “Hold on there. It was just a question.”

Gazing into his eyes, she realized it was a question he’d had to ask. After all, they didn’t know each other.

“We used a condom,” she said lamely, knowing that form of contraception was usually reliable but not foolproof.

Grady sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Yes, we did, but it was a condom I’ve had in my wallet for a while.”

“It could have broken?”

“Possibly. Or you could have gotten pregnant before I put it on.”

She felt heat crawl into her cheeks. There had been foreplay—teasing foreplay as she’d never experienced before.

Completely aware of his hand on her arm, the tingles dancing up and down, she pulled out of his grasp and had to make something clear. “I don’t want anything from you, Grady. We’d already decided seeing each other again would be a mistake. This doesn’t change that.”

“The heck it doesn’t.” His drawl had become more pronounced with each word. “I’m going to want a DNA test after the baby’s born.”

Her heart lurched. She did
not
want a relationship, especially not with a man who couldn’t trust. The idea of getting involved again, getting penned up, trapped, controlled, almost made her panic.

He must have seen the look in her eye because he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to have this child and raise this child and love this child. But that doesn’t mean you and I have to be…connected.”

“What has you so spooked? You weren’t like this that night.”

No, she wasn’t. That night had been full of wonder and impulse. When she’d met Grady, the chemistry between them had been so strong she hadn’t thought about the next day or a week from that night.

“I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to be involved.”

“You
are
spooked. You’re afraid I’ll do something you don’t want me to do. So why did you tell me?”

“You had the right to know. Sagebrush is a small town.”

“And I could put have two and two together easily if I saw you pregnant and figured out the dates.”

“Yes,” she admitted, wanting to turn from his probing blue eyes but unable to do so.

His voice lowered…was gentle yet more intense. “You’re
not
going to cut me out of the baby’s life. If I’m a dad, I’m going be a dad. Do you understand that, Francesca?”

She went cold inside from the thought of him wanting any kind of control, and licked her dry lips. “What does that mean?”

“It means I want to spend time with my son or daughter. I want to have a say in decisions. I want to act like a real parent. I’ve looked forward all my life to being a dad. I’m not going to let the opportunity slip away.”

Grady came from a large family, a loving family, and she should have realized he’d feel this way.

“Don’t look so scared, Frannie. I’m not going to try to take custody away from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

She didn’t know what she was thinking. No one had ever called her Frannie.

“I’m not scared,” she returned defensively, squaring her shoulders. “I’m just worried you’ll want to tell me what to do and that’s not going to happen.”

He eyed her assessingly. “I guess we really don’t
know each other, do we? One night on the sofa doesn’t a couple make.”

“No, it doesn’t. And we’re
not
a couple.”

He let a few pounding heartbeats pass before he asked, “When are you due?”

“February twenty-seventh.”

“What are you going to do about your practice?”

“I haven’t figured everything out yet. I’ve only known a short while.”

He cocked his head. “Did you think about not telling me and moving away from Sagebrush?”

She was hoping her guilt didn’t show.

“You did, didn’t you?” he accused. Then calmly he asked, “What made you decide to stay and not run?”

“I’m not a coward. I have a life here. I’m not going to let any man make me give up what I’m building.”

He slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans—as if maybe he wanted to do something else with them—and continued to study her. “So what do you suggest we do?”

“I’d like you to give me time—the length of my pregnancy—to figure some things out.”

A line creased his brow and he didn’t seem to like the idea. Yet he asked, “You’ll call me when the baby’s born?”

She nodded.

His strong jaw set and his mouth formed a tight line. “I have one condition.”

“What?”

“You e-mail me a report every time you go to the doctor just to let me know everything’s okay.”

For some reason, she didn’t quibble. She didn’t see the condition as manipulation. Grady was asking her to com
municate with him and it didn’t have to be in a personal way, just in the form of a report. She could do that.

“All right,” she agreed. “That won’t be a problem.”

“Have you been to see a doctor yet?” he asked.

“Yes, yesterday. Dr. Jared Madison’s my doctor. Every other month, I’ll see his obstetrical nurse practitioner. She’s my roommate, Emily Diaz. When I hit the third trimester, I’ll see him.”

Grady reached over to his desk and picked up a card from the holder there. He turned it around and jotted something on the back. Then he handed it to her. “My e-mail address is on the front. My cell phone number’s on the back. If you need anything—”

“I won’t, Grady. Really.”

“When you go into labor, I want to know.”

“When I go into labor? Why?”

“Because I want to be with you. I want to anticipate this baby being born and be there when he or she is. I mean it, Frannie. Don’t deny me that right.”

Remembering the night they’d spent together—his passion, tenderness and hunger, she assured him, “I won’t,” controlling her voice so it wouldn’t tremble. Then she tucked his card into her purse and turned to leave.

He followed her to the door.

After he’d opened it for her, he suggested, “I want you to think about the benefit of a child having two parents rather than one. I know it won’t be easy to do, but we’re smart people. We should be able to figure it out.”

She’d have six and a half more months to figure this out, thank goodness. She had a feeling she was going to need every day of those six and a half months to decide how she could coparent with Grady without being involved with
him. Getting involved when she was actually ready for it wouldn’t be easy. Getting involved in this situation would be sheer lunacy.

As she said good-bye and left, she realized she liked having a nickname for the first time in her life…and she liked the sound of that nickname on Grady Fitzgerald’s lips.

E
mily was concerned Jared had changed his mind about wanting to be with her at the charity banquet. He’d been quiet ever since he picked her up Saturday evening.

Now as they stood outside the ballroom, he asked, “Would you like me to check your shawl?”

“Please,” she replied, not wanting to be encumbered by the wrap at the dinner table.

She’d begun to shrug it off when she felt Jared’s large hand at her shoulder, helping her remove it. As his fingers brushed against her collarbone, she trembled. She glanced at him over her shoulder. When he gazed into her eyes, they seemed frozen in time. She was sure she saw desire in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what else.

“Jared, is something wrong tonight?” she asked softly.

He let out a long sigh. “You mean besides the fact that you look prettier than I’ve ever seen you?”

There was frustration in his voice as his eyes ran over the black silk-jersey halter dress with its cranberry trim around the decolletage and hem. She’d worn her hair swept up into a bed of curls, and garnets dangled from delicate gold chain earrings.

His compliment bathed her with its male appreciation and she didn’t understand the problem.

Loose curls from her upswept hairdo dangled around her face. He fingered one and wrapped it around his index finger. “When you opened your door to me tonight, I didn’t want to bring you to some charity dinner. I wanted to—”

“Emily! Jared! We’ve been waiting for you. We snatched one of the tables for four.” Tessa rushed up to them and gave Emily a hug. “It seems like forever since I’ve seen you.”

Emily hugged her friend back. She missed Tessa’s presence in the house, but she wanted Jared to finish that sentence. She wanted to hear what he felt.

Tessa’s husband, Vince, gave her a hug, too. In the past month, she’d gotten to know him better and considered him a friend. She introduced him to Jared and the men shook hands.

“You were the chief of police in Sagebrush for a while, weren’t you?” Jared asked Vince.

“For a few months. I just started working for an investigative and security firm in Lubbock.”

Tessa hooked her arm through her husband’s. “We’d better reclaim our table or somebody might steal it.”

After Jared checked Emily’s shawl, his hand moved to the small of her back. She could feel the imprint of it through the thin fabric. “We’ll talk later,” he mumbled, guiding her into the ballroom.

Emily saw many faces she recognized. But with Jared’s
hand on her back, her mind focused on his hand’s heat and texture and the trill of sparks that skipped down her spine. There was always heat when the two of them were together. What
had
he been about to say? That he wanted to make love to her? That he would rather have closed the door at her house and spent the night in bed with her? Could she satisfy him? Would his desire last beyond one night?

At the table, he pulled out her chair for her. When she sat, he leaned close as he pushed her in. If she turned her head, her cheek might graze his jaw. She took in a deep breath.

Jared straightened, but she was still so aware of him. The current between them tonight was lightning hot, lightning fast, and as dangerous as lightning.

Jared took the seat around the corner from Emily. She noticed the way his dark-brown hair waved over his forehead, the way his brow creased as if he was deep in thought. He was wearing a charcoal suit and a red-and-charcoal tie tonight. She saw him in a suit practically every day, but tonight—he seemed bigger than life, more than her boss, more than a friend. Maybe she was just deluding herself, believing he might be falling for her, too.

“Emily tells me she’s been spending time with your daughters,” Tessa observed, glancing from Emily to Jared as if she could sense the current rippling between them.

“Yes, she has,” Jared replied. “She’s very good with them.”

Tessa smiled fondly at Emily. “She’s one of our favorite babysitters.”

“How old are your children?” Jared asked.

Emily was grateful he was keeping the conversation going.

Tessa let Vince answer. “Natalie is fourteen months. Sean is ten months. You should bring the girls over sometime. The four of them would probably have a great play session.”

Emily watched Jared to see if he was open to the suggestion. To her surprise, he said, “That would be great. Amy and Courtney go to preschool now, but that’s only for three days a week.”

“What about tomorrow?” Tessa asked. “We can try out our new grill. Are you free?” she asked Emily.

Emily felt awkward. She didn’t want Jared to feel forced to spend time with her. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Yes, I’m free, but—” She glanced at Jared. “You three have a lot in common with your kids. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to invite me….” She trailed off.

Tessa looked from Emily to Jared. “I’m not playing matchmaker. I just thought we might all have a good time.”

Jared stepped into the awkwardness and covered Emily’s hand with his. Tingles swept up her arm. “I enjoy Emily’s company and I’m sure with four kids around we can use her help keeping them on an even keel.”

A three-piece band had been setting up and as they began playing couples headed to the dance floor.

Jared asked Emily, “Would you like to dance?”

“It’s been so long since I’ve been on a dance floor, I don’t know if I remember how.”

“It’s like riding a bicycle,” he teased, stood and offered her his hand. She took it, rising to her feet. With her hand in Jared’s, she felt…excited but safe. Her breaths quickened as she anticipated being held in his arms once more.

On the dance floor, they stood in the ballroom dancing position, a good six inches apart. Then he gave her a crooked smile, pulled her a little closer and wrapped his fingers tighter around hers.

Her breasts against his chest, her cheek against the fabric of his suit, she inhaled his cologne and felt almost dizzy from just being so close.

After the first verse of the song, Jared asked, “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to go with me to Tessa and Vince’s?”

“Do you?” she asked, holding her breath.

“Yes.” His fingers moved against hers. “But it’s much safer for us to be in a crowd like this, or to be with another couple with kids around.”

Safer.

Now his eyes were serious. “I don’t want to hurt you. I told you I don’t want to get involved with anyone again. I never intend to remarry. Once was enough.”

He was so certain. Her hopes for more than one night, for a committed relationship dissolved. Yet maybe if she told him how
she
felt…“You and I both came through a divorce, but I guess I feel differently about it. I’d like to have a second chance at finding real happiness.”

“I’d rather just be content.”

She couldn’t argue with him about that, but she wanted more than contentment. She wanted to share her life, share her thoughts, share her dreams. But Jared didn’t. He was making himself perfectly clear.

For a short while, they simply danced. Jared’s firm guidance made it easy, though her heart raced at the slide of his fingers down her back, the pressure of his palm against hers. The expression on his face told her serious passion could develop between them if he let it.

Would he let it? Would she?

One song segued into the next and the dance floor became more crowded. Jared brought Emily closer to him. When she looked up, her lips were very near his cheek. The nerve in his jaw worked and she thought she could feel the thumping of his heart. Maybe the sensation was hers pounding even harder.

“You wanted to know why I was so quiet tonight when I picked you up.” His voice was low…intimate.

“I wondered if you regretted asking me to come tonight.”

Leaning back slightly, he studied her, then shook his head. “Your ex-husband must have done a number on you. Any man would be glad to escort you.”

She felt herself blushing.

“You’re part of the reason why I was quiet. It’s not because I don’t want to be with you, because I do.”

“What’s the other part?”

“My mind’s on a discussion I had with my mother this afternoon.”

“She’s in rehab now?”

“Yes. And she’s making progress. But she’s worried. She’s worried she’ll be a burden rather than an asset when she comes home. She’s thinking that maybe after rehab, she should go into an assisted-living facility.”

“But you don’t think she should.”

“Only if that’s what she really wants. I think she’s just frustrated with not recovering more quickly, and after another week or so, she’ll be stronger. I also think she’ll be happier if she lives with us. If she can’t take care of the girls, I’ll hire a nanny. But I think it’s better for her to be with us than to be alone in a tiny apartment.”

“No one wants to be a burden.”

“I understand that.”

Emily gazed into his troubled green eyes. “There’s something else going on, isn’t there? This isn’t about just her ability to take care of the girls.”

He was slow to respond, but finally said, “She doesn’t believe I really want her around. We haven’t had the best relationship over the years.”

Suspecting she was stepping into very deep water, Emily asked, “
Do
you want her around?”

Now he went silent altogether.

“I shouldn’t have asked. Your family is none of my business.” She knew Jared’s privacy was important to him. She shouldn’t have probed.

Their bodies were still close, the attraction between them as strong as ever. But Jared’s restraint was palpable and so was his intent. He was
not
going to get seriously involved with her, definitely not emotionally, and maybe not even physically.

This time after a sixties’ ballad ended, they went back to the table, the tension between them obvious. The strain between them was such a contrast to the loving devotion between Vince and Tessa. Emily knew that devotion had started in high school. They’d undergone heartache and a long separation until they’d found each other again.

Emily wondered if she yearned to jump into a relationship with Jared because she was beginning to care for his girls. Maybe she just basically wanted to be a mom.

But then she looked over at him, their gazes locked, her heart lurched, attraction pulsed between them. She knew her growing feelings for Jared were altogether separate from her affection for his daughters.

Over dinner, Vince and Jared talked about security problems in businesses. Tessa and Jared spoke in general of their practices. Emily and Jared seemed to have nothing to say to each other. Because he didn’t want to let her in? Because she wanted too much? Could they settle for friendship?

At the end of the evening, after goodbyes and “see you tomorrow” to Tessa and Vince, Emily and Jared walked to
his car. The silence between them was so strained that she wished she had driven herself.

Jared tried to make small talk in the car on the way home. “Dinner was good for a group that size.”

“Yes, it was,” she agreed, although the prime rib had tasted like sawdust in her mouth.

Taking the cue, she made a stab at small talk, too. “Did Vince tell you they’re building a barn on their property? They want to adopt wild mustangs and gentle them.”

“Yes, he told me about that. He mentioned Tessa’s father is involved.”

“At one time, Tessa’s dad and Vince butted heads. Her dad didn’t approve of Vince twenty years ago. It’s nice to see they’re becoming friends now.”

Jared went quiet again, and she realized she’d probably said the wrong thing. Parents and children reuniting, reconciling, resolving their differences wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

Suddenly Emily’s phone rang. It was Francesca. “Hi, what’s up?” Emily asked.

“I just wanted you to know I’m at the hospital and I’ll be tied up for a few more hours. I didn’t want you to worry. How was dinner?”

“We’re on our way home.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“No, I guess it didn’t.”

“Uh-oh. That bad, huh?”

“Possibly.”

“All right. I’ll get the scoop in the morning.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” Emily closed her phone.

“A problem?” Jared asked.

“No. Francesca’s going to be tied up at the hospital for a while. She didn’t want me to worry.”

“Women are very different from men,” he remarked.

“How so?”

“You’ve only known Francesca and Tessa for what? About eight months?”

“That’s right.”

“Yet your friends act as if you’ve been friends for years.”

“We clicked when we met. We seemed to understand each other instantly. Yet we didn’t trust right away. That came slowly.” It had only been this summer that she’d told Francesca and Tessa about her career as a midwife and everything that had happened.

“Relationships are all about trust, aren’t they?” he mused, and she wondered what he meant by that. It sounded as if trust was an issue for him, too. Because of his marriage? Or more precisely, his divorce? Would he ever tell her about that?

Fifteen minutes later, Jared pulled into the driveway that led to the detached garage beside the old Victorian. “You
do
have a thoughtful roommate. She left the light on for you.”

The Tiffany light in the foyer cast its jeweled glow behind the sheer curtains, making the house appear welcoming.

Emily opened her clutch purse and took out her keys. “You don’t have to walk me to the door. I’ll be fine.”

If she just hopped out, said good-bye here, they wouldn’t have the awkwardness, the question to kiss or not to kiss.

But Jared shook his head and unlatched his seat belt. “I know you’ll be fine, but I’m going to walk you to the door anyway.”

Then he was out of the car and coming around to the passenger side. He opened her door and offered her his hand to help her out.

She told herself he was simply being a gentleman. Chivalry wasn’t dead. But it didn’t have to mean any more than a man being polite to his date.

They walked up the curved cement pathway, not touching, not talking, looking straight ahead instead of glancing at each other. The streetlamp shed enough light that Emily could see to insert her key into the lock. She was aware of Jared behind her on the small, flagstone stoop as she pushed the door open. She planned to just say good-night.