Baby Bonanza (11 page)

Caught, there was no point in trying to deny what she’d already admitted aloud. She dropped to her knees. “You know you do.”

Carefully, so as not to disturb the twins, Nick sat up, wincing a little at the stiffness in his back. But his gaze didn’t waver. He continued to meet her eyes, and Jenna wished she could read what he was thinking. What he was feeling.

But as always, Nick’s thoughts were his own, his emotions so completely controlled she didn’t have a clue what was going on behind those pale blue eyes.

“Then why’d you leave the ship so fast?” Nick asked quietly.

“You know why.” Just the memory of the naked redhead was enough to put a little steel back into her spine.

“I didn’t even know her,” he reminded her with just a touch of defensiveness in his voice.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said, lowering her voice quickly when Jacob began to stir. She hadn’t meant to wake him up. Hadn’t wanted to get into any of this right now. But since it had happened anyway, there was no point in trying to avoid it. “Nick, don’t you see? The redhead was just a shining example of how different we are. She brought home to me how much out of my element I was on that ship. With you.”

He reached out, skimmed his fingertips along her cheek and pushed her hair back behind her right ear. Jenna shivered at the contact, but took a breath and steadied herself. Want wasn’t enough. A one-sided love wasn’t enough. She needed more. Deserved more.

“I don’t belong in the kind of life you lead, Nick. And neither do the boys.”

“You could, though,” he told her, his voice a hush of sound that seemed intimate, cajoling. “All three of you could. We could all live on the ship. You know there’s plenty of room. The boys would have space to play. They’d see the world. Learn about different cultures, different languages.”

Tempting, so tempting, just as he’d meant it to be. A reluctant smile curved her mouth, but she shook her head as she looked from him to the twins and back again. “They can’t have a real life living on board a ship, Nick. They need a backyard. Parks. School. Friends—” She stopped, waved both hands and added, “A
dog.
”

He tore his gaze from hers and looked at first one sleeping baby to the other before shifting his gaze back to hers. “We’ll hire tutors. They can play with the passengers’ kids. We could even have a dog if they want one. It could work, Jenna. We could make it work.”

Though a part of her longed to believe him, she knew, deep down, that this wasn’t about him wanting to be with her—finding a way to integrate her into his life—this was about him discovering his sons and wanting them with him.

“No, Nick,” she whispered, shaking her head sadly. “It wouldn’t be fair to them. Or us. You don’t want me, you want your sons. And I understand that. Believe me I do.”

He grabbed for her hand and smoothed the pad of his thumb across her knuckles. “It’s not just the boys, Jenna. You and I…”

“Would never work out,” she finished for him, despite the flash of heat sweeping from her hand, up her arm, to rocket around her chest like a pinball slapping against the tilt bar.

She wished it were different. Wished it were possible that he could love her as she did him. But Nick Falco simply wasn’t the kind of man to commit to any one woman. Best that she remember that and keep her heart as safe as she could.

“You don’t know that. We could try.” His eyes were so filled with light, with hunger and the promise of something delicious that made Jenna wish with everything in her that she could take the risk.

But it wasn’t only herself she had to worry about now. There were two other little hearts it was her job to protect. And she couldn’t bring herself to take a chance that might bring her sons pain a few years down the road.

But instead of saying any of that, instead of arguing the point with him, she pulled her hand free of Nick’s grasp and said softly, “Help me get the boys up to bed, okay?”

He drew up one leg and braced one arm across his knee. His gaze was locked on her, his features half in shadow, half in light. “This isn’t over, Jenna.”

As she bent over to scoop up Jacob, Jenna paused, looked into those pale blue eyes and said, “It has to be, Nick.”

“H
ere?” Maxie repeated. “What do you mean he’s here? Here in Seal Beach here?”

Jenna glanced back over her shoulder at her closed front door. She’d spotted Maxie pulling up out front and had made a beeline for the door to head her off at the pass, so to speak. “I mean he’s
here
here. In the house here. With the boys here.”

For three days now. She’d been able to avoid Maxie by putting her off with phone calls, claiming to be busy. But Jenna had known that sooner or later, her older sister would just drop by.

“Are you
nuts?
” Maxie asked. Her big, blue eyes went wide as saucers and her short, spiky, dark blond hair actually looked spikier somehow, as if it were actually standing on end more than usual. “What are you thinking, Jenna? Why would you invite him here?”

“I didn’t invite him,” Jenna argued, then shrugged. “He…came.”

Maxie stopped, narrowed her eyes on Jenna and asked, “Are you sleeping with him?”

Disappointment and need tangled up together in the center of Jenna’s chest. No, she wasn’t sleeping with him, but she was dreaming of him every night, experiencing erotic mental imagery like she’d never known before. She was waking up every morning with her body aching and her soul empty.

But she was guessing her older sister didn’t want to hear that, either, so instead, she just answered the question.

“No, Saint Maxie, defender of all morals,” Jenna snapped, “I’m
not
sleeping with him. He’s been on the couch the last couple of nights and—”

“Couple of nights?”

Jenna winced, then looked up and waved at her neighbor, who’d stopped dead-heading her roses to stare at Maxie in surprise. “Morning, Mrs. Logan.”

The older woman nodded and went back to her gardening. Jenna shifted her gaze up and down the narrow street filled with forties-era bungalows. Trees lined the street, spreading thick shade across neatly cropped lawns. From down the street came the sound of a basketball being bounced, a dog barking maniacally and the muffled whir of skateboard wheels on asphalt. Just another summer day. And Jenna wondered just how many of her neighbors were enjoying Maxie’s little rant. Shooting her sister a dark look, Jenna lifted both eyebrows and waited.

Maxie took the hint and lowered her voice. “Sorry, sorry. But I can’t believe Nick Falco’s been here for two nights and you didn’t tell me.”

Jenna smirked at her. “Gee, me, neither. Of course, I only kept it a secret because I thought you might not understand, but clearly I was wrong.”

“Funny.”

Jenna blew out a breath and hooked her arm through her sister’s. No matter what else was going on in her life, Maxie and she were a team. They’d had only each other for the last five years, after their parents were killed in a car accident. And she wasn’t going to lose her only sister in an argument over a man who didn’t even
want
her.

“Max,” she said, trying to keep her voice even and calm, despite the whirlwind of emotions she felt churning inside, “he’s here to get to know the boys. His sons, remember? We’re not together that way, and believe me when I say I’m being careful.”

Maxie didn’t look convinced, but then she wasn’t exactly a trusting soul when it came to men. Not that Jenna could blame her or anything…not after she was so unceremoniously dumped by that jerk Darius Stone.

“This is a bad idea,” Maxie said, as if she hadn’t already made herself perfectly clear.

“He won’t be here long.”

“His kind don’t need much time.”

“Maxie…”

“You sure he’s not staying?”

“Why would he?”

“I can think of at least three reasons off the top of my head,” she countered. “Jacob, Cooper and oh, yeah,
you.
So I ask it again. Are you sure he’s not staying for long?”

Hmm. No, she wasn’t. In fact, Jenna would have thought that Nick would have had his baby fix by now and be all too glad to go back to his life. But so far he hadn’t shown any signs of leaving.

Was it just the boys keeping him here?

Or did he feel something for her, too?

Oh God, she couldn’t allow herself to start thinking that way. It was just setting herself up for more damage once he really did leave.

“Jenna—” Nick called to her from the front porch, then stopped when he saw Maxie and her talking and added, “Oh. Sorry.”

No way to avoid this, Jenna thought dismally, already regretting putting her sister and her ex-lover in the same room together. But she forced a smile anyway. “It’s okay, Nick. This is my sister, Maxie.”

When neither of them spoke, Jenna gave Max a nudge with her elbow.

“Fine, fine,” Max muttered, then raised her voice and said grudgingly, “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah. You, too.”

“Well, isn’t this special?” Jenna murmured, and wondered if she could get frostbite from the chill in the air between these two. “Come on in, Max,” she urged, wanting her sister to see that she had nothing to worry about. That Nick wasn’t interested in her and that she wasn’t going to be pining away when he left. Surely, Jenna thought, she was a good enough actor to pull that off. “See the boys. Have some coffee.”

Still looking at Nick, Maxie shook her head and said, “I don’t know…”

“I went out for doughnuts earlier,” Nick offered.

“Is he trying to bribe me?” Maxie whispered.

Jenna snorted a laugh. “For God’s sake, Max, be nice.” But as she followed her sister into the house, Jenna could only think that this must have been what it felt like to be dropped behind enemy lines with nothing more than a pocketknife.

Nick knew he should have left already.

Then he wouldn’t have had to deal with Jenna’s sister. Although, she’d finally come around enough that she hadn’t looked as if she wanted to stab him to death with the spoon she used to stir her coffee.

The point was, though, with access to a private jet, he could catch up with the ship in Fort Lauderdale in time to enjoy the second half of the cruise to Italy. Then he wouldn’t have to play nice with Jenna’s sister—who clearly hated his guts. And he wouldn’t be tormented by the desire he felt every waking moment around Jenna herself.

The last couple of nights he’d spent on her lumpy couch had been the longest of his life. He lay awake late into the night, imagining striding down the short hall to her bedroom, slipping into her bed and burying himself inside her. He woke up every morning so tight and hard he felt as if he might explode with the want and frustration riding him. And seeing her first thing in the morning, smelling the floral scent of her shampoo, watching her sigh over that first sip of coffee was another kind of torture.

She was here.

But she wasn’t his.

Now Jenna was off to a packaging store, mailing out one of her gift baskets, and he was alone with his sons.

Nick walked into the boys’ nursery to find them both wide awake, staring up at the mobiles hanging over their beds. The one over Jake’s crib was made up of brightly colored animals, dancing now in the soft breeze coming in from the partially opened window. And over Cooper’s bed hung a mobile made up of bright stars and smiling crescent moons.

He looked from one boy to the other, noting their similarities and their differences. Each of them had soft, wispy dark hair and each of them had a dimple—just like Nick’s—in their left cheek. Both boys had pale blue eyes, though Cooper’s were a little darker than his brother’s.

And both of them had their tiny fists wrapped around his heart.

“How am I supposed to leave you?” he asked quietly. “How can I go back to my life, not knowing what you’re doing? Not knowing if you’ve gotten a tooth or if you’ve started crawling. How can I not be here when you start to walk? Or when you fall down for the first time?”

Soft sunlight came through the louvered blinds on the window and lay across the shining wood floor like gold bars. Outside somewhere on this cozy little street, a lawnmower fired up and Jake jumped as though he’d been shot.

Instantly Nick moved to the crib, leaned over and laid one hand on his son’s narrow chest. He felt the rapid-fire thud of a tiny heart beneath his palm, and a love so deep, so pure, so all encompassing, filled him to the point that he couldn’t draw a breath.

He hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t thought to fall so helplessly in love with children he hadn’t known existed two weeks ago. Hadn’t thought that he’d enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn just so he could look down into wide eyes, eager to explore the morning. Hadn’t thought that being here, with the boys, with their mother, could feel so…right.

Now that he knew the truth, though, the question was, what was he going to do about it?

Moving across the room to Cooper, he bent down, scooped his son up into his arms and cradled him against his chest. The warm, pliant weight of him and his thoughtful expression made Nick smile. He drew the tip of one finger along Cooper’s cheek, and the infant boy turned his face into that now-familiar touch. Nick’s heart twisted painfully in his chest as he stared down into those solemn blue eyes so much like his own.

“I promise you, I’ll always be here when you need me.” His voice was as quiet as a sigh, but Cooper seemed almost to understand as he gave his father one of his rare smiles. Nick swallowed hard, walked to where Jacob lay in his crib watching them and whispered, “I love you guys. Both of you. And I’m going to find a way to make this work.

When Jake kicked his little legs and swung his arms, it was almost a celebration. At least, that’s what Nick told himself.

That night Jenna pulled on her nightshirt and made one last check on the twins before going to bed herself, as was her habit. Only, this time when she stepped into the room lit only by a bunny nightlight, she found Nick already there.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Just a pair of jeans that lay low on his hips and clung to his legs like a lover’s hands. He turned when she stepped into the room, and she felt the power of his gaze slam into her. In the dim light, even his pale eyes were shadowed, dark, but she didn’t need to see those eyes to feel the power in them. Her skin started humming, her blood sizzling, but she made herself put one foot in front of the other, walking past Nick first to Cooper’s crib, then Jacob’s, smoothing each of the boys’ hair, laying a gentle hand on their tummies as they slept.

And through it all, she felt Nick’s gaze on her as surely as she would have a touch. Her breath came in shallow gasps and her stomach did a quick enough spin that she felt nearly dizzy. What was he doing in here? Why was he watching her as he was? What was he thinking?

Her hands were shaking as she turned to leave the nursery with quiet steps. She got as far as the hallway when Nick’s hand came down on her arm.

“Wait.” His voice was hard and low, demanding.

She looked up at him, and here in the dark, where even the pale light from the plugged-in plastic bunny couldn’t reach, Nick was no more than a tall, imposing figure moving in close to her.

“Nick—” Could he hear her heartbeat? Could he sense the fires he kindled inside her? Could he feel the heat pouring off her body in thick waves? “What are you doing?”

Heaven help her, she knew what he was doing. And more, she was glad of it. Just standing with him in the dark filled her with a sense of expectation that had her breath catching in her lungs.

“Don’t talk,” he whispered, moving in even closer, until their bodies were pressed together, until he’d edged her back, up against the wall. “Don’t think.” He lifted both hands and covered her breasts.

She sucked in air and let her head thunk back against the wall. Even through the thin cotton fabric of her nightgown, she felt the thrill of anticipation washing through her. His hands were hot and hard and strong. His thumbs moved across the tips of her nipples and the scrape of the fabric over her sensitive skin was another kind of sweet agony.

“Yes, Nick,” she whispered, licking dry lips and huffing in breaths as if she’d just finished running a marathon. “No thinking. Only feeling. I want—”

“Me, too,” he said, cutting her off so fast, she knew instinctively that he was feeling the immediacy of the moment. “Have for days. Can’t wait another minute. I need to be in you, Jenna. To feel your heat around me.” He dropped his head to the curve of her neck and swept his tongue across the pulse point at the base of her throat.

She jerked in his arms, then lifted her hands until she could cup the back of his head and hold him there. While her fingers threaded through his thick, dark hair, he dropped one hand down the front of her body, skimming her curves, lifting the hem of her nightshirt. Then he was touching her bare skin and she arched into him as he slid his magical fingers beneath the elastic band of her panties.

He touched her core, slid his fingers into her heat and instantly, she exploded, rocking her hips with the force of an orgasm that crashed down on her with a splintering fury. Whimpering his name, she clung to him with a desperate grip until the last of the tremors slid through her. Then she was limp against him until he picked her up and walked to her bedroom.

Holding on to him, Jenna smoothed her hands over his skin, his broad back, his sculpted chest, and when he sucked in a gulp of air, she smiled in the dark, pleased to know she affected him as deeply as he did her.