Baby, Be Mine (17 page)

“Wait.” Katy glanced around. No one close, no one to tell… So irresistible.

Gage swallowed hard as she approached, holding up a hand as if to ward her off. “Stop.”

She paused at the closest point legally possible, ignoring the fact that even talking was supposed to be out of bounds. “I had to see you.”

He examined her closely like a man drinking deeply after a drought. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I’ve got this really great gardener.”

Gage smiled, but it was a faint flicker of the old expression that could bring her to her knees with longing. As if he was holding back. Cautious. “Do you recognize them?” he asked, pointing to the flowers.

Keeping their discussion normal. Easy, and fit for public conversation. Not intimate, which was probably good or she’d be tempted to throw herself into his arms and damn the consequences. She twisted to check her backyard. “Flowers aren’t my thing. Yet. Who knows what I’ll pick up next, though. They’re very pretty.”

“They’re called forget-me-nots. They’ll fade after a few months, but they bloom every year just as bright as before. It’s like…” he paused, “…for a little while they go to sleep, but they’re always there. Waiting to show what they’re really like inside.”

A knife blade of emotion, painful and sharp, twisted in her belly.

He reached for her but let his hand fall away before they connected. Gage cleared his throat, staring over the field of flowing blue. “I miss you. Stay safe, okay?”

Then he turned and walked away, taking her heart with him.

Chapter Seventeen

There was this itchy sensation at the back of her brain screaming it was past time for this to be over. Not only the baby’s arrival, but
all
of it. Her family had taken control of the waiting room down the hall, but they still managed to hover. Between the anxious glances and the well-meant but annoying suggestions to make her feel better, she was ready to kick their collective oversized asses out of the hospital.

She was having a baby, damn it, not on her deathbed. There was too much going on now that labour had started. Too much, and yet not enough to distract her from thinking about what she wanted.

Or more specifically
who
she wanted.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Katy eased her way down the hall, holding tightly to Janey’s arm.

“I don’t think you can cancel at this point, hon.” Janey paced slowly, her head dipping closer as her volume went even lower. “Although, if you want me to encourage anyone to leave, tell me, okay? Anyone,” she said pointedly as one of Katy’s brothers stepped toward them.

Here they went again. Katy eased a hand over her rock-solid belly as she paused to deal with another contraction. “Oh
damn
, this hurts.”

Her brother Troy wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You’re doing great.”

She couldn’t answer for a moment. It was nice to know they cared, but really? Her brothers and her dad? Katy blew out the final moment of pain and straightened to look into Troy’s concerned eyes. “Thanks for the encouragement, but please. Go home, and we’ll let you know when the kid arrives.”

“Take the other guys with you too,” Janey suggested. “Because, dude, none of you are going anywhere near the delivery room when the actual event is happening.”

“Ick, that is so true.” Katy squeezed her brother’s hand. “I’m glad you want to be there for me, but this is going a little too far, if you know what I mean.”

Only, Troy wasn’t watching her, he was watching the nurses’ station. “I don’t mind hanging out for a while.”

Jeez, good to know his reasons for being here weren’t all about wrapping her in cotton. “Go home, Troy. Or at least pretend to go so I don’t have to look at you. We’ll call when there’s news.”

Katy stepped away and ignored him, easing through the next few contractions.

It wasn’t her family she wanted around. She wanted Gage. She’d allowed him to be sent way, and she’d thought it was the right thing to do, but now that the moment had come she wasn’t so sure.

Janey led her down the corridors in an endless loop. Her brothers had at least obeyed the part about getting out of sight, although knowing them, they’d probably only hit the coffee shop on the second floor and were tormenting people there.

Between contractions and pacing, she paused to look out the window. Spring had already passed, easing into full-on summer, and it was time for all kinds of new things.

Maybe a new chance as well.

Janey leaned on the wall beside her, arms crossed over her chest. “You want to call him?”

Was she that transparent? “Gage?”

Her best friend shrugged. “Honey, you love the guy. I think he loves you, and I doubt at this point anyone here at the hospital is going to call the cops if he shows up, restraining order or not.” She made a rude noise. “I think we’d all lie our asses off for you two right now.”

“I can’t…” Katy thought really hard about what she wanted to say to finish that sentence.

She couldn’t what?

I can’t do this without him.

She lifted her eyes to her friend’s. “Do you think he wants to be here? Even if it might get him arrested?”

Janey held out her cell phone, Gage’s number already up on the screen. “I bet he’d go through hell itself to be here if you asked.”

It really wasn’t that hard, hitting the button to make the call.

“Janey?” Gage sounded breathless. “Is she okay? Is the baby there? Tell me they’re both fine.”

His obvious concern had Katy’s throat closing tight, and she had to force out the words. “Gage, it’s me. I’m doing good, but…”

“Katy? Thank God. You had the baby?”

“Not yet.” She paused, wondering if it was right to even offer him the temptation. It wasn’t her who could end up in jail.

But he’d told her once she should reach out and take what she wanted, and damn if she wasn’t going to do exactly that. At least to offer him the option and let him decide if the risks were worth it. “This could get you in trouble, but do you want to be here? I mean, be with me when the baby arrives?”

“Oh, yeah.” Loud clattering rang in the background, something like a door slamming. “Are you asking me to come to the hospital?”

“It might be a terrible idea, but yes, I want you here—oh,
shit
…” Another contraction hit, and she had to bend over and concentrate on breathing.

Gage’s anxious voice blared from the phone as she held it against her thigh, his frantic questions getting louder and louder.

Janey somehow helped support her and at the same time grabbed the phone. “Stop shouting. She’s busy for a minute.” A pause, then Janey snorted. “Well, I don’t know, sweetheart. Hold on to your knickers and I’ll ask her.”

Her friend held the phone against her chest to cover the speaker. “What should I tell him?”

Katy blew out a long breath as she found her feet, reaching for the phone. “Gage, me again. Sorry about that. I want you with me, if you still want to be here.”

“You know I do.”

Katy twisted to the right in surprise. His answer had come not from the phone, but from the man himself who stood only two feet away. He was breathing heavily as if he’d been running stairs.

Katy was breathing pretty hard herself. “Holy moly, how did you do that?”

“If he’s got a transporter and he hasn’t shared until now, I’m going to be pissed off.” Janey held out her hand and gave Gage a quick handshake. “Now that you’re here for backup, I’m going to do a little distracting of the nursing staff and warn the people who will help us. I’ll return in a moment to be an awesome baby catcher. I suggest you two hide out in the birthing room.”

“Good idea.”

They paused as Janey backed away, briefly flashing them two thumbs-up before she twirled and disappeared around a corner. Gage let Katy guide him quickly into the private room she’d been given.

Only once the door was shut did he answer Katy’s question. “I was in the parking lot, waiting in my truck. Hoping that you’d call.”

He was there, the bruises on his face fading, his dark eyes taking her in from head to toe, and he reached out…

And stopped.

His hand fell to his side. His big strong body trembling as if he were afraid.

“Katy, I’m here for you. For you and the baby.” His eyes—God, his
eyes
. Full of pain, and yet hope. “I promise with everything in me that’s true.”

She was going to be bawling in a minute, which wasn’t going to work great with the whole labour thing still happening. “I know.”

Katy caught him by the hand and tugged them together. She had to twist sideways to make room for her belly as she stepped into the warmth of his body, but he had his arms around her and that was all she needed right then. The solid assurance that he was there. That he was hers.

Gage stroked her hair as he held her. “I hate that we’ve had to be apart.”

She nodded. “If you see the RCMP coming, hide in the bathroom.”

A reluctant laugh escaped him. “No more hiding. This is too important an event for me to spend it in the parking lot waiting for news.”

“Were you really just going to sit there?” Katy didn’t want to let go of him, his touch soothing her more than any breathing techniques.

Gage stroked her cheek as he gazed into her eyes. “I was planning on sneaking in, but this is so much better than hiding behind a mask and staring through the door. And if I do get in trouble, it’ll be worth it.”

They had to pause each time a contraction hit, but the distraction of their conversation helped make the pain fade a little.

He rubbed her back before she even asked him to, touching her gently, supporting her. His strong hands that were capable of inflicting pain giving such tender care.

And when he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her tenderly, she lost it.

“It was bad enough that I had to lose memories, now I’ve lost these last weeks with you.” She held his hand against her cheek. “Damn Simon to hell.”

“Forget Simon, Katybug. He doesn’t matter, or he won’t in a few days. What does matter is I love you.”

She gasped out a laugh past the tears. “I love you too, Gage.”

“Forever,” he added, stroking her cheek and wiping away her tears. “I’m going to love you forever. And that’s not going to change, and if I have to spend the next sixty years reminding you again and again, it’ll be worth it.”

“It’ll be worth it,” she repeated. There were still questions they had to answer, but right now, he was there and the kid in her belly was posing the most demanding request. “Ahh, Gage? I think it’s time.”

“Time for what?”

She wanted to laugh, but the pressure was building too fast. “The baby?” she reminded him.

His eyes widened. “Now?”

“Now.”

After the chaos of the birth scene, quiet finally descended. Everywhere except in Gage’s brain. Well, his heart—that too was going a million miles an hour, and the reason was right there in his hands.

The doctor had left after giving them a wink and placing his finger against his lips.

Janey had left.

Katy had stepped into the shower, and the nurse had pushed him back into the chair beside the bed. Without so much as a “here you go” she’d placed baby Tanner in his arms. Then she’d left the room, giving Gage no opportunity to do anything but sit there and stare at the tiny person he held cradled in his hands.

Honest truth? He was fucking scared to death. By a bundle of humanity the size of a bread loaf.

The baby boy wiggled, and Gage pulled him closer, soft flannel pressing the side of his arm as he cradled the bundle. “Oh, man. This is…”

The kid’s face was all scrunched up—no way to tell family resemblance to anyone when he looked like that. Gage glanced around the room to double-check he was alone then carefully laid the baby in his lap and loosened off the blanket.

It might be stupid, but he had to see. He wasn’t looking for a distinguishing mark or anything, but…

Gage wanted to count toes. And fingers. And look again at how perfectly human, and yet perfectly tiny the baby was.

Tanner complained loudly about being poked and prodded. His arms flared out, fists waving in the air, and Gage did his best to rewrap him. The trick eluded him, and things were a bit of a mess, but Tanner settled down, his dark brown eyes seeming to stare straight through Gage.

“So. You’re here.”

Another thing that might be stupid, but it felt right to talk to the kid. Tell him…

“You know, your mom is pretty incredible. You have no idea what she just went through for you. Frankly, you probably don’t want to know, but right off the bat, you picked a good one, kid. She’s loved you with everything in her since she knew you were coming, and she wants nothing but the best for you.”

The words stuck in his throat for a minute as that really, truly registered. How much Katy loved Tanner. The fact she’d said she loved Gage as well?

It wasn’t as if there was a limit to love. Only so much to be doled out a little at a time before you had to hold back and save some for another day.

The baby lying in his lap was proof that love wasn’t about what you could do, or where you’d come from. Love was a gift, and damn if emotion wasn’t welling up in a way that made Gage gasp at the sharpness of it cutting away the bloody edges inside.

Did it really matter if Tanner was the result of his genes and Katy’s mixing? Or did it matter more that Gage would be called
daddy
? That he could be a father Tanner looked up to—he’d teach his son to do all the fun things in life, and to deal with all the responsibilities, but most of all he could teach his son how to love unconditionally.

If it turned out Simon had started this life, and the courts decreed he had to be involved, Gage would find a way to make sure even that was somehow a positive experience. He’d protect Tanner, like he would protect Katy going forward. Not with fists and violence, but in a way that would make a difference in the end.

God, somehow, he would find a way.

“So, here’s the deal. I’m your daddy. Well, I need to do some convincing to get your mom to marry me before it will be official, but whatever else happens, or however long that takes, you and me? We’re the real deal. We’re going to be having a lot of talks over the years. About doing chores you hate, and girls you like. And maybe we’ll talk about cars or computers or whatever else comes along. But I’m going to be there for you. For you and your momma. And it doesn’t matter to me one bit if you’re someone else’s son, because you’re mine, and I’m so damn thankful for you.”