B785 (12 page)

“You mean leave before military reinforcements arrive?” she said, drawing his attention.

“Bingo, princess. Our prime directive, despite this setback, is still to get you to safety.”

“Are we back to that again?” She rolled her eyes. “You all realize I am just one person. One severely messed up, not all that important girl. Just ask Aramus.”

“His opinion doesn’t count. He says that about pretty much everyone. And don’t downplay yourself. You might not put much credence in your worth, but according to Chloe, Joe, and a planet full of cyborgs, you’re irreplaceable. I think you’re pretty neat, myself, and I’m fairly certain Einstein would rate you as priceless.”

The idea Einstein valued her so highly both elated and deflated her. She didn’t deserve that kind of adoration—even if she yearned for it. “I say you’re all nuts. You can’t mean to tell me you’re just going to fly away from a military vessel without getting some answers.”

“We should. Getting out of the area before more military troops arrive makes the most sense.”

“But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t. You’d be boarding that downed spacecraft, grabbing everything you could, like hard drives and stuff, and most of all, trying to figure out how the hell they snuck up on us.”

“Maybe.” Seth wouldn’t meet her gaze as he studied the information on the screen he perused.

“Don’t you maybe me. The military almost caught us.”

“They did.”

“They managed to bypass all the detection systems.”

“Yup.”

“Oh come on. Even my little girly cyborg brain knows that’s bad. More than bad, it’s seriously dangerous, and important, a lot more important than me. Much as my sister loves me, and your planet supposedly needs me as some kind of rallying poster girl, you need to find out how the military did it. We need the technology on that ship.”

“We do.”

“And don’t even think of arguing. Wait. Did you just say we do?”

Facing her finally, Seth let out a weary sigh. “Yeah. I did. Despite what Joe and the others want, you are right. We can’t allow this opportunity to go to waste. We need to get our hands on whatever device or programming the military has created that’s allowing them to hide themselves from our detection systems. It was one thing for them to have bugs we couldn’t locate. But ships? That puts our whole world at risk.”

Lifting her hands and eyes to the ceiling she sang, “Hallelujah! Finally, someone sees the light.”

“Yup, but now it’s going to be convincing a certain someone that risking you to search the ship while keeping an eye out for bogeys is important enough to ignore direct orders.”

“If you mean Aramus, I’ll take care of him.”

“I’d pay to watch that. But, no, he’ll actually see the sense in staying. The person I’m talking about is Einstein.”

Oh please, as if her gentle prince charming wouldn’t see the logic. How wrong she was.

Despite the urge to see how Bonnie fared—and hug her close, which made no sense as it wasn’t a proper diagnostic method for establishing injury—Einstein worked tirelessly to repair both his comrades and the ship. With the exception of some missing fingers on Astro’s hand from a gun blast, he was able to resolve most of the medical issues while the nanobots in their bodies took care of the rest. Brethren patched up, he then moved on to helping out with the more crucial items crippling their ship. Some rooms in the stern required sealing off until they could perform a spacewalk or land somewhere stable and weld the holes left by the blasts. A bit of rerouting on the subroutines bypassed some of the non-needed functions minimizing the damage to certain electrical components.

All in all, things could have been much worse. The majority survived. Bonnie was unhurt—apparently. He’d yet to verify for himself and probably wouldn’t relax until he did. As soon as the engines powered up and they could get on their way, he intended to hunt her down and check her status—then kiss her, among other things. Despite not knowing how she fit in his regimented life, and what she expected from him, of one thing he was certain—he wanted more of what she had to give.

Tasks completed, or at least the ones requiring his physical hands, he went looking for the female who occupied his thoughts. He found her on the observation deck, staring out into space, the viewing window having survived the space battle due to Aphelion smartly lowering the metal blind to block off any direct damage.

Seeing her standing there, so pensive, her expression in profile sad, made his eager step slow. Then stop. The entire time he’d fought and then worked, she’d hovered at the edges of his mind, his need to perform his duty warring with a strong one that demanded he find her and protect her. Hold her. Keep her safe.

Since the moment they’d shared coitus, more than ever, he found himself conflicted where she was concerned. How did she feel about him? What did he feel for her? Why did he feel? Why did his mind whirl when she was around? His heart, body, and logic malfunctioned when she drew near. He wished he understood this disturbing phenomenon, or could find the answers. But clarity eluded him and having always been the smartest cyborg around, he didn’t know who to turn to for aid.

And now, with Bonnie staring away from him, knowing he stood there, not acknowledging him, he wondered if he should stay or go. Did she want to be alone? Was he unwelcome? Did…

“Oh God, Einstein. I was so scared,” she whispered in the silence, her arms wrapping around her upper torso.

The soft admission hit him and all of his hardware froze for a moment. He didn’t know what to reply. Guilt assailed him at her admittance. He’d failed her. They all had. Logic insisted the blame wasn’t his—even if a part of him believed it was. Not that he admitted that aloud. “The fight could have been avoided if you’d obeyed Aramus’ orders to stay out of sight.”

“Not scared for me, charming,” she uttered with exasperation as she whirled to fix him with her jeweled gaze. “Scared for you. You could have died down there.”

She’d worried for him? “I didn’t die, though. I barely got scratched.” To his surprise. His lessons with Seth paid off.

“Ralph and Fred weren’t so lucky,” she pointed out.

“No. They weren’t, and the way I hear it, it was pretty close there for awhile for you and the ship’s crew as well.”

She shrugged. “I guess. At the time, though, I wasn’t thinking about dying, although I did scream inside my head a lot. Aphelion really knows how to fly this thing. I just wish it didn’t involve so much spinning. I almost barfed on him a few times.” She rubbed her tummy with a rueful smile.

He latched on to the one thing he understood. “I can help you with the vertigo when we get to my lab. I’m pretty sure we’ve got a program for that, which I can download to your BCI.”

“Really?” Her expression brightened. “I’d like that. But you’re changing the subject.”

“You’re right, I am, because otherwise I might be tempted to launch in to a discourse about how Aphelion’s actions put you in unacceptable danger. Actually, the entire decision to explore the asteroid was ill advised. We should have known better than to jeopardize your safety. That won’t happen again. From this point on, our only objective is to get you home where you’ll be safe.”

“Einstein, we can’t go to your world yet.”

“Oh yes we can. As soon as we can be sure no one’s on our tail, we are heading to the base.”

“But that’s just it, will it be safe? I was talking to Seth
—
”

“Oh no. No good ever comes of a conversation with him.”

“Let me finish. I was talking to Seth and he agrees that we can’t leave without checking out that crashed ship.”

As if Einstein cared what Seth or anyone else thought. “Yes, we can. And we will. We’ve already placed you in enough danger. I’ve already sent out a request to have a clean vessel meet us in a few days time to transfer you.”

“Transfer me?”

“Since we can’t be sure this ship is clean, and given our current damage, we need to get you
—
”

Hands planted on her hips, she fixed him with a fierce glare. “You need to get me nowhere. I am perfectly fine where I am. You’re being illogical.”

“I am never illogical.”

“Oh yes you are, because if it weren’t for me, you’d be the first one to advocate finding out what technology is currently hidden on that downed military craft. What secrets might lie within the hard drives. What they knew about our plans.”

In normal circumstances, yes, he would, but things were anything but normal. “It can wait.”

“No it can’t, and you know it. Why are you being so irrational?”

“It’s not irrational to obey orders.”

“It is, especially when those orders didn’t take into account what we’d encounter. There is an opportunity here for us to discover what the military is up to. That is way more important than me. I’m just one person. A flawed female cyborg. A nobody. Meanwhile, that ship has some programming or technology that might save hundreds of cyborgs. Or give us answers.”

How could she think so lowly of herself? Did she not understand her importance? Her worth? “We’ll get our answers, just not at your expense.”

“How is delaying our departure for a salvage mission putting me in danger?”

“We need to leave the area in case more troops arrive.”

“We need to board that ship.”

“It can wait.”

“No, it can’t!” She yelled. “Stop being so stubborn. You keep saying this is all about me, well, don’t I get a say? Didn’t you tell me that part of being a cyborg was having a choice? A say in my fate? Well, my vote is we grab as much shit off that military vessel as we can and then run.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Why are you being so pigheaded?”

A part of Einstein realized she made good points, and yes, she should have say in matters pertaining to her, yet something other than logic drove him at this point. Hot, angry, and not in charge of the words spewing from his mouth, he shouted, “I don’t care if it’s irrational or the right thing. We are not staying here. Or exploring that ship. Not happening. I can’t go through that again. You don’t understand what it was like during the battle. And then after, knowing the ship fought against wretched odds.”

Her eyes widened at his outburst, but she didn’t shy from his anger. “You were scared?”

Funny how she could so easily pinpoint what bothered him. Not having truly experienced fear before, he’d not recognized it. Yet another new defect. “Yes, I feared.”

“It’s normal. Battles are scary.”

Now who was acting dense? He shook his head. “Not scared for me, Bonnie. Like you, I feared for your life.”

“But why? Is it because of your orders to deliver me safely?”

“Partially.”

“Because we had sex?”

“Yes. No. Maybe.”

“Care to add any more answers?” A teasing smile tilted her lips.

And suddenly, a torrent came rushing out of him and he bared his innermost confusing thoughts to her. “Don’t you get it? You’re important to me. I don’t understand why or how it happened; despite all the arguments, your safety is of paramount importance to me. I can’t help it. When the ambush hit, all I could think of was thank fuck you were on the ship, and out of danger’s way. But then you arrived to my rescue, put yourself in harm’s way, and when I realized that, I thought the hardware powering my organs would fail. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t function. I—I
—
feared. Feared I’d lose you. I won’t allow myself to go through that awful sensation again.”

Closing the gap between them, she almost ran and he opened his arms, pulling her tight to him in a hug. She felt so frail in his embrace. So small. Once again, he realized how close he came to losing her and his throat tightened. He closed his eyes as he leaned his chin against the top of her head. For a long silent moment, they stood thus entwined. Her fingers toyed with the tips of his hair. “It wasn’t a malfunction, Einstein. It’s called emotions. You care for me. That’s why you were scared. That’s why you’re not able to think rationally. You feel affection for me and want to keep me safe. It’s normal. It’s part of being human.”

“I’m not human. I’m a cyborg. A robot. Unlike the others, I changed too much. I don’t feel.”

“Yes, you do.” She peered up at him and cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. “Part machine or not, you just thought yourself incapable of emotion. And yet, you experience it every day. I’ve seen it. Would a machine with no sentiment engage his comrades like you do? I’ve seen you converse with Seth and the others. Joke. Laugh and talk. Would a robot with no fervor react as you do? Would a being with no heart burn with such passion? Treat me with such gentleness? Care for me as if I were the most precious of things?”

“But you are precious.”

“To you.” She smiled, a soft smile to go along with the fingers gently brushing his skin. “If you were truly only a robot relying only on logic, then you would see that the safety of one does not trump that of hundreds. But, your humanity is refusing to let you succumb to common sense. Your heart is telling your machine side to shut the fuck up and do what you feel is right. You, my dear and oblivious prince charming, are not defective. You quite simply care.”

Care? Could he really? It seemed like such a small word to explain everything he felt. Perhaps because it was the wrong word. He summarized some of his chaotic thoughts into a more organized fashion, examining them in light of her allegation. He felt responsible for her. Protective. Jealous. Attracted. Possessive.

A new, even scarier conclusion arose as the proper definition for his emotions emerged.

I love her
. What else could explain it? All the emotions he’d imagined himself incapable of, the things he’d attributed to malfunctions, they all had an explanation. He loved Bonnie. Amazing and irrational as it seemed, despite all the modifications done to him, he still had the capacity to love. It stunned him. “You’re right. I do care. Very much.”

“I don’t know why you sound so surprised.”

“Emotions are hormonal imbalances. I control my hormonal levels. Or did until I met you.”

She wrinkled her nose and laughed. “You know that wasn’t exactly the most romantic declaration.”

“I didn’t realize my words were meant to be a romantic declaration. I was just stating my current state of mind.”

“Let me clear it up for you. I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Einstein.”

She loved him too? No. He couldn’t be so lucky. Bonnie was too good for him. Too beautiful and perfect. Too everything. “You’re just appreciative of the fact I found and rescued you from certain destruction.”

“No. Unlike you, I know what I’m feeling. It’s love. L.O.V.E. Look it up because this is going to sound presumptuous of me, but since you have a problem with the obvious, I’m pretty sure you love me too.”

He did, but his tongue couldn’t push the word past his lips. What did he have to offer her? He was a science geek among his brethren. The weakest in battle. The smallest cyborg among a horde of giants. She deserved so much better.

“I can see you’re still not sure. Let me ask you, does what I’ve told you about my past bother you?”

“No. Of course not.” How could she think that?

“What about the thought of me with another man?”

He growled, a primitive sound he would have never thought himself capable of making.

“When we reach your homeworld, what would you do if I walked away and started a new life without you?”

Pressure crushed the mechanical organ pumping enhanced blood to his extremities. His mind wavered between rage and anguish. He couldn’t help whispering, “You can’t. I need you.” Even if she deserved someone more capable of keeping her safe.

She hugged him. “Oh, Einstein. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean I would, I was just using it as an example. You love me. What more proof do you need, charming? There is no proven test for love. You just know it. Live it.”

“I do know it. But…”

“But what?”

“You deserve better. Someone bigger and stronger. Someone who can fight and protect you from danger.”

“You fought.”

“Not nearly half as well as the others,” he admitted to his shame.

“Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want a thug who knows how to use his fists or knives? That perhaps I like a man who’s smart?”

“You say that now, but you’ve yet to meet the others on the planet. There are cyborg units with some modicum of intelligence and skills. Cyborgs better than me.”

“Oh, charming. Don’t you get it? Love doesn’t work that way. I don’t love you because you can protect me, or because of how you look. I love you because you’re you. Would you stop loving me if you met a prettier cyborg girl with a nicer past?”

He met her gaze, angry that she’d even suggest such a thing. His indignant tone relayed some of it when he replied. “Of course not.”

“Then why would you think me so shallow? Despite the fact I don’t understand why you love me, I would never leave you. I couldn’t, Einstein. You’re my prince charming. The one person in this whole universe capable of reaching the heart and soul I thought I’d lost. The one man who can make me feel. The only man I’ve ever truly loved so much that I would rather die than see you come to harm.”