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Earlier that morning he thought Elizabeth and Miss Lucas might prefer the privacy of the carriage and arranged to ride alongside on horseback. After that remarkable farewell, he decided a ride might be good for him as well. And so it was that, for the majority of the next three hours, Mr. Darcy attempted to regulate his feelings. He was beginning to think three months would be a terribly long time to wait to declare himself. His task was not an easy one given what he witnessed both that morning and the previous evening.

While he had enjoyed listening to his sister play one of his favorite pieces on the piano, he sensed Elizabeth. He dismissed the feeling, having spent much of the evening meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman — as his wife — could bestow, even imagining her next to him as Georgiana played. It was a happy fantasy and one that surprised him at how authentic it could feel. When Darcy opened his eyes and looked around the room as Georgiana neared the end of the song, to his utter enchantment, he spied Elizabeth in the doorway of the room with her eyes closed and her cheeks shiny. Hoping to avoid the embarrassment of having discovered her thus, he schemed that he would exit the room only to return again a few minutes later. Then it might appear as if he were simply rejoining his sister.

Whispering his praise to Georgiana and promising to return shortly after attending to some business, he purposely left the music room from another door. As he exited, his butler handed him Bingley’s letter. How fortuitous that he had intercepted its delivery to the music room.

Now riding next to the carriage, Darcy swallowed and pulled at his neck cloth as he noticed that Elizabeth had removed her gloves and bonnet due to the unseasonably warm spring day. Her hair was in a thick plait that ran nearly the entire length of her back. He could see she was in the process of re-pinning the braid in a simple coiffure at the base of her neck. He found the vision too intoxicating, and he urged his mount forward a pace ahead of the carriage.

Forcing his thoughts down more gentlemanly avenues, he recalled returning to the music room the night before. By design, he appeared at the same door at which he first saw her, judging that if she had not yet entered the room he would encounter her there and invite her to join them. If she had entered, it could make his own entrance less abrupt. But as he reached the doorway, he had watched in stunned appeal as Elizabeth and his sister spoke comfortably with each other. In the end, he had not intruded on their interlude and had left to assure that his valet would be ready for their early departure the next morning.

Later that evening, when he was on his way to his study to retrieve a book, he had been surprised to hear music as he had assumed the ladies had retired long before. Expecting only Georgiana, perhaps still waiting for his return, he had walked right into the room. Discovering that neither lady had retired but were instead engaged in a rather silly duet, he backed to the edge of the doorway and left again soon after the piece was over. He made his way slowly to his study, thinking that the day could not have gone better and then hastily regretting his tactlessness as he remembered the loss of her sister.

It was with these dark thoughts of self-reproach that he spent the remainder of the journey to the last posting inn where they would change horses before reaching Longbourn. Those few days with Elizabeth had taught him a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. He was beginning to learn his own insufficiencies. Worst of all, he was beginning to realize that Elizabeth may not be aware of his regard for her if the shock and surprise on her face at his boldness in the library the day before were any indication. He was beginning to wonder whether he knew how to please a woman worthy of being pleased.

* * *

After their last stop, Elizabeth was startled when Darcy entered the carriage. She had thought he would continue on horseback for the last leg of their journey. She carefully observed his darkened brow and wondered at its cause. She rationalized he was ill tempered upon returning to a part of the country that he had so quickly abandoned for fashionable London not six months before. A familiar disapproval of him returned to her heart, aggravated by how little he esteemed her friends and neighbors. Having determined that Mr. Darcy might also disapprove of her friendship with his sister, Elizabeth decided to speak. Coldly, she stated, “I would speak to you about something, Mr. Darcy.” Georgiana should not have to suffer the consequence of her brother’s disapproval of her friendship with Elizabeth.

Mr. Darcy looked up from his hands; Elizabeth’s frosty demeanor was not lost on him. Considering his own self-censuring thoughts, it seemed oddly deserved. He nodded for her to continue.

Observing Maria still asleep, Elizabeth thrust Georgiana’s note at Mr. Darcy.

Puzzled, he reluctantly accepted the missive and raised his brows for explanation.

“Your sister made a request of me that I thought you ought to be aware of, sir.”

“And will you not tell me the manner of this request, Miss Elizabeth?” Darcy held the letter in his hands, preferring not to read the private letter of his sister.

“If you will not read the letter yourself, then I will tell you. She requested permission to further our acquaintance through correspondence.”

Mr. Darcy was well pleased with the prospect of his sister and Elizabeth furthering their friendship through letters.
I wish I had thought of that.
His joy was open until he realized her tone was anything but happy. His visage became grim.

Hiding his disappointment, he said, “Am I to assume the prospect is distasteful to you?”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes in confusion. “On the contrary, sir. I like your sister very much, and I would be happy to further our friendship in this manner. However, I am conscious of the fact that you are her brother and guardian and therefore have the power to choose her acquaintances. I simply made you aware of her request, so that you could inform her of your disapproval in a manner best suited for her temperament. I am sure when you explain your reasons, she will not see my reluctance to accept as hurtful — ”

“Miss Bennet” — Darcy’s voice was grave as he interrupted her — “do you think that I would disapprove of her writing to you?”

“Indeed, I do, sir!” Elizabeth was skeptical of his performance and filled with exasperation as she exclaimed, “You made your opinion quite clear last autumn when you found the inhabitants of Hertfordshire, and indeed those in residence at Longbourn, to be quite below your notice. I should think you would not approve of your sister corresponding with someone from that district.” Elizabeth paused to draw breath, attempting to remain in control of herself. “Do you deny it?”

Darcy remained silent as he considered his response. He knew now his behavior while in her neighborhood left much to be desired. He felt the beginnings of shame as he knew there was some truth to the sentiments she was attributing to him.
No wonder she detects nothing of my regard!

“I will not deny that I felt . . . uncomfortable for much of my stay in Hertfordshire last autumn.” He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the raised brow of his companion. “There were reasons for my reticence though.”

“I suppose the behavior of my younger sisters and mother was your reason. Their behavior at the Netherfield ball, I admit, was lacking in propriety.” Elizabeth was loath to admit that their behavior was ill mannered, but she knew it to be true and wished to show she was fair-minded.

“I will not comment on that, not after you have met and been subjected many times to the abominable manners of my aunt in Kent. Indeed, compared to me, you have no reason to be embarrassed by your relations.”

Elizabeth turned to look out the window for a few minutes as she considered his response. His exoneration of her family derailed her righteous indignation. He had not denied the truth regarding her family’s behavior nor his opinion of it but instead graciously redeemed them by his confession regarding his own relations.

With more charity, she acknowledged, “It seems we, neither of us, can acquit our relations.”

Mr. Darcy offered a half smile. “Miss Elizabeth, regarding your writing to my sister, if you will allow me to explain to you something of our past, you will understand better my mood last September as well as my fervent
approval
of your acquaintance with her.”

Elizabeth was startled by the evident conviction in his voice and discomposed when he leaned towards her as he spoke, his scent enveloping her senses in the process. She nodded, indicating he should continue.

He looked towards the sleeping passenger before dropping his voice yet lower and leaning in further. “Last summer, an old friend of some standing with my family, whose acquaintance with us I had reason to believe was at an end, intruded upon our lives in a most grievous way. A
young
lady I am very close to was hurt sadly by this acquaintance in a manner I am not capable of speaking about without much pain . . . ” Darcy cleared his throat, glanced hastily towards Miss Lucas and then continued. “This young lady was not yet sixteen at the time.”

Elizabeth paled, recognizing the pain evident in his voice as he spoke. She mouthed silently, “Georgiana?”

Darcy nodded solemnly. “I was not yet recovered completely from those events when I accompanied Bingley to your county last autumn. I am afraid that my reluctance to socialize may have given the wrong impression, and by the time I had realized it, I was not willing to change that assumption as it suited my mood quite well to be left alone. I only see now how it has damaged opportunities for myself that I would rather not have had stunted.”

She was not too naïve to recognize that he was speaking of her and her opinion of him. And yet, she was still reeling from his earlier revelation and too overwhelmed with sympathy for his sister, her new friend, to truly give value to his statement.

“Sir, you said that you would not object to my correspondence with your sister?”

Unbelievably, Mr. Darcy leaned even closer to her. She found herself leaning forward as well to catch his whispered words.

“Miss Elizabeth, I have long thought you would be exactly the type of friend I would want for my sister. Indeed, I wish you might be more.” He looked down as he said this and traced his finger lightly across the back of her hand, “I would be more than happy to have you correspond with my sister if it is your wish to do so.”

Elizabeth gently moved her hands out from under the exquisite pressure of his fingers and simply nodded as she sat back and turned her face towards the window.
Certainly, he could not have meant what he said! Surely, he does not know what his words imply,
she thought repeatedly. She had much to think on. However, she could not consider his words now, not with her homecoming just minutes away. The news of her new friend’s painful experience last year still pressed upon her as well. She sensed there was much to the story that he had not shared and that the event had affected them exceedingly.

It was fortunate that Elizabeth could not find the words to respond to his speech as Maria chose that moment to stir. Upon noticing their location, Maria declared with evident relief, “How glad I shall be to be home.” Neither of the other two occupants said anything in response as they were both locked in their own thoughts until the carriage rolled to a stop.

Chapter 6

Mr. Darcy assisted Maria from the coach and was conscious of the surprised, questioning glances from her family when he took Elizabeth’s hand. His eyes darted to her face as he felt her hand give his a gentle squeeze before he released it.
Did I just imagine that?
The idea was highly agreeable to him, but as her face betrayed nothing, he wondered whether it was his imagination after all.

He felt acutely out of place as he witnessed her family gather around the two ladies and embrace through murmured words and tears. He had thought to stay for a short visit, as was only polite, before venturing to the inn in Meryton to stay until the funeral. He had not spoken to Elizabeth about his intentions. He was fully aware that, although being perfectly fitting as he was an acquaintance of Miss Lydia, it might still be considered presumptuous on his part to assume more intimacy with the family. After beholding the raw emotion upon her reunion with her family, he wondered whether he ought to just take his leave quietly and go directly to the inn.

He had nearly decided to depart when Mr. Bennet approached him. The older man was stoic, but Darcy saw the strain in his eyes. He held his posture rigid in anticipation of the greeting.

“Mr. Darcy, please allow me to thank you for delivering my dear Lizzy back to us. We are greatly in your debt, sir.”

Mr. Darcy bowed to the older man, uncomfortable that this was the first conversation he had ever shared with Elizabeth’s father, despite living in the same neighborhood for nearly two months.

“Think nothing of it, sir. I could do no less under the circumstances.” Darcy discretely cleared his throat before he continued, “Please allow me to offer my sincere condolences for your loss, sir.”

“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.”

The two gentlemen stood quietly, watching the ladies cease their embraces and begin to enter the house. Mr. Darcy reached into his coat pocket to retrieve Bingley’s missive and take his leave when the older gentleman surprised him by addressing him once more.