Azure (Drowning In You) (19 page)

Olivia rolled her eyes discreetly. “I looked for Professor Skein, but he isn’t in.”

“You’re serious about this.” Rita’s eyes narrowed. “Wait, is this because of Kai? You’re digging up his past, aren’t you?”

Wait a minute...
Olivia folded her arms on the bar. “What about his past? Are you saying his past’s connected to this mermaid business? To why people think he’s different?”

“Yeah, that’s right. But Kai should be the one to tell you about it, not me, so...” Rita shrugged again, grabbing the shaker. “He should be back soon. I’ll make you a Rita Special cocktail. It’s on the house.”

***

Kirsten and Markus arrived, grabbed her and made sure she danced a few songs with them before a slow piece started and they wrapped themselves around each other.

Olivia returned to her stool and Rita’s Special — a mixture of bitter lemon,
Raki
, lime and other, mysterious ingredients. It was sour and sweet and fuzzy and undid the knots in her chest she hadn’t realized she still carried from the morning’s accident.

But Kai didn’t come.

Rita threw her sidelong glances as she prepared drinks and mixed shots. “Something must have kept him,” she said, giving Olivia a smile.

“It’s getting really late. Maybe after the clinic he just went to bed.”

“Kai? I doubt it and I know my little cousin. I don’t think he’s coming back here, though. His job is done for today, but he likes sitting by the sea.”

Of course he did. “You mean, like, now?” Was that a hint?

Rita grinned. “I think he got the impression you weren’t coming to the party after all.”

Olivia hopped off the stool.
Damn the woman.
“Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“Listen, you look like a sweet girl.” Rita chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I love my cousin. He’s been through bad times. I don’t want to see him get more hurt.”

Olivia paused. “What makes you think I’ll hurt him?”

“What makes you think you won’t?”

Olivia had no answer to that, so she just shook her head. “I’ll go look for him.” She chugged down the rest of the cocktail for courage and set out toward the beach.

On the way she was intercepted by Kirsten and Markus who said they were heading to their room any minute now. They set a time for breakfast and she hurried down the beach, toward the pier.

She saw his dark silhouette from afar. He crouched on the edge, over the waves. The sea was silent and flat. The stillness brought a lump of fear in her throat. It had been that way in the morning, before it had dragged her into its depths.

 
Quietly she walked on the cement blocks of the pier. He was leaning forward, over the mirror of the water, the moonlight catching on his hair.

“Kai?” she whispered.

His back stiffened. He stood up and turned around. Barefoot, dressed in black slacks and a white shirt open at the neck, he was so handsome her heart ached.

His mouth curled in a smile. “Liv. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

She lifted her shoulders and grimaced. “I fell asleep.”

“Are you all right?” In two strides, he was right in front of her, his hands clasping her waist.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His face was just inches from hers, his dark lashes sweeping his cheekbones as he looked down at her. His wide shoulders blocked the moon. She cupped his cool cheeks and he turned his face into her hand, brushing his lips against her palm, making her shiver.

Her heart was racing. She traced his jaw with her fingertips, down his throat to the collar of his open shirt. The thin cotton was wet. “Don’t you have a dry shirt?”

“In my hut.”

“Right. I forgot you’re a hut man.”

He smiled faintly. “That’s me.” Taking a step back, he shrugged off his shirt and shivered. “Better?”

Was he kidding her? It was pure hell. He stood there like a classical statue, the moonlight silvering his form, his hair hiding his eyes, and her mind was a blank.
Say something, dammit.
“I, um. I could go find a dry shirt—”

“You’re so beautiful.” He stroked a strand of hair out of her face, tucked it behind her ear, let his hand wander down her neck, skin on skin. His fingers were warming against her, and he shifted closer, his scent of pine and salt filling the world. “Why haven’t you run away yet?” he whispered.

“Should I?”

“Everyone does.” His chest was a solid wall. She pressed her hands on his six-pack, slid them over his ribs to his strong back.

“I don’t want to run.”

A breath ghosted from his lips. His eyes closing, he brushed his mouth over hers. He was like satin, and cotton candy, and like a naked flame, all the sensations washing over her, through her.

Her fingers dug into the hard muscles of his back and she looked into his eyes, her lips throbbing, her body singing. “More.”

“Oh god, Liv...” His fingers slipped in her hair, cradling her head, and he tasted her slowly, an open-mouthed kiss that stole her breath.
  

Time spiraled into an eddy, sucking her in. His other hand shifted to the small of her back, anchoring her, pressing her against his arousal. He tasted better than she remembered, burnt sugar and cream. He was bending her backward, leaning over her, his arm around her the only thing keeping her from falling.

He drew back. “Liv,” he breathed against her lips. “Come with me tonight.”

“Yes.”

He straightened, pulling her up with him, locking both arms around her. He had the most beautiful smile on his face. “Oh god, say it again.”

“Yes. Yes, please.”

I say there is no darkness but ignorance.

Shakespeare

Ignorance is sweet and deep; its darkness bright.

Myra
Crow

Kai guided Olivia up a narrow trail. In the darkness, she wondered how he could see anything, or if he just knew each ridge and hollow by heart. His bare feet were steady on the slippery rock as he helped her up, the quiet only broken by the faint whisper of a breeze in the desiccated grasses.

Her shoe slipped in the dirt and he grabbed her before the gasp had even left her lips.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I never bring anyone here. Didn’t think.”

She turned her head, and below lay the sea, the setting moon streaking it with silver. “Don’t be sorry. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.” He tugged her up to the dark shape of a cabin. He threw the door open, no keys or locks, and stepped into the dimness. “Just a sec.”

He let go of her hand and she stood, disoriented and lost for a moment. There came a crackling sound and a small flame appeared, illuminating the fine lines of his face. He approached it to an oil lamp and yellow light bathed the hut.

It really was a fisherman’s hut, with old nets hanging at the two windows, sand on the floor and a cot pushed against the wall. The roof was thatch and the walls made of local stone.

“Welcome to my palace,” he said and came to her, pulling her close. The flame of the lamp danced in his eyes.

“You really live here?”

“Mm. It’s quiet.” He dragged his lips on her jaw, pressed them to the corner of her mouth, making her shiver.

“Must be cold in winter.” She laced her hands behind his head, tangling her fingers in the soft curling hair of his nape.

“I don’t want to think about winter.” He stepped back, kissing her closed mouth, leading her to the cot. “You’re warm like summer.”

They fell on the narrow bed, facing each other, and his lips were on hers, hot and hungry. She slipped off her shoes, and they thumped to the floor.

He rolled over her, supporting his weight on strong arms, pressing down, letting her feel how aroused he was. Sliding his fingers under her blouse, he lifted it over her head, and she wriggled out of it, letting it fall.

A soft groan left his lips and he reached down to adjust himself. Sweat ran down his bare chest in glistening trails, and in the lamp light he was made of solid gold.

“I want to see you naked,” he whispered and his hardness pressed against her stomach, more insistent now. He bent over her, kissing her mouth, her chin, a trail of hot kisses down her throat. His hand slipped under her back, seeking the clasp of her bra.

“Wait, Kai.” She shoved against his chest, her throat closing.

He stilled. “What is it?” His eyes were very dark in the faint light.

“I don’t know. Too fast. Give me a minute.” She sat up, lifted her hand to his arm, tracing the thick biceps.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “People probably don’t do this so soon when they’re dating.”

“Are we dating?”

“I...” He sat back and pushed dark hair out of his eyes, his lips compressing. “I don’t know what the hell we’re doing.”

She swallowed down the fear and stroked his arm, reaching for his hand. “We were kissing.”

He gave her a tiny smile. “Right.” Then he frowned. “You’re shaking.”

Was she? “I’m okay.”

“You’re afraid of me.” He shook his head. “Why?”

“I’m sorry. I’m not afraid, I just... don’t know you well.”

Damn, this was embarrassing. Maybe it was her near death experience not so long ago, or this strange place, this hut on the cliffs with the wind puffing through the cracks and the sound of the waves crashing below, and this man, so handsome and yet a mystery.

“Ask me.”

“What?” Her hand moved to her breast, the soft mound of flesh over her lacy bra, and his eyes followed the movement.

He licked his lips. “I’m not good at talking about myself. I’ve been trying to work up the courage but I can’t... Not yet.”

“Then what are you...?”

“Ask me questions. To get to know me. I’ll answer those I can.”

“Like, what ice-cream flavor is your favorite?”

“Strawberry,” he breathed, his hands clenching on his thighs. The lamplight played on his chest, on his muscled arms. “And yours?”

“Dark chocolate.” She licked her lips. “Do you have siblings?”

He exhaled loudly, closed his eyes. “No. You?”

“No. What’s your favorite food?”

“
Madras
curry. Very hot.” He opened one eye. “Like you.”

She turned to hide a smile. “Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

Figured. “Favorite music?”

He leaned over her again until she lay back, staring into his hooded gaze. “Do you mind if I touch you while you ask me things?”

“Uh... Okay.” Her thoughts were unraveling. “I don’t...”

He nuzzled her throat, kissed her collarbone. “Ask me.”

“Why are you here? Are you running away from something?”

He stopped, his breath hissing. “No. I told you. I live here.” He stroked her breast with his mouth, placing kisses over the lace, and her next question died on her lips. She couldn’t think. Her mind buzzed, and electric shocks went through her body with every shift of his lips on the lace. Heat rolled in great waves inside her, and she arched her spine, silently pleading for more.

Panting hard, he undid the button of her shorts and slipped his hand inside. He glanced up, searching her eyes, and smiled. He touched her, then, his fingers sliding under her panties, rough and sure. Oh god, another wave of heat burst inside her, towing her under, and it was light and fire and unbearable pleasure. She drew up her knees and when he pressed down, she cried out, coming undone under his touch.

He kissed her neck, waiting for her to catch her breath. She felt his lips draw into a grin against her skin. “You liked it,” he said.

Wasn’t it obvious? She laughed. “Yeah.”

He rested his forehead on her shoulder, gazing at her, his eyes crinkling with his faint smile. “Not scared of me anymore?”

She shook her head, floating in the lingering haze of pleasure. Her pulse throbbed deep inside her belly. She reached up and tangled her fingers in his salt-stiffened hair, tugging lightly. He rose up on his elbows, shifting closer, and his belt grazed her leg.

Pain flared, making her gasp and twist away.

“What is it?” He scrambled back, frowning.

“My leg. I hit it on the rocks this morning.” She winced as she sat up to check it. “It’s nothing.”

“Let me see.” He stood up and brought the lamp closer, placing it on the floor by the bed. He knelt at her feet, his hand gentle on her knee. “I hurt you.”

“It was your belt. Wasn’t you.” She tried to see where his fingers poked and prodded. “I think it’s mostly bruised. And a little scraped.”

“Why did you go to that beach?” His head was bowed, so she couldn’t see his face, but his voice was strained. “I told you not to.”

“I wanted...” She sighed. “Panos said the mermaids go there. I wanted to see.”

“The mermaids?”

It sounded so stupid now. “Yeah. I mean, I wanted to see if there was anything there.”

His grip on her leg tightened. “Why?”

“Because... I don’t know what happened to you, why the locals treat you like that.” She shook her head, her mouth twisting. “Nobody will tell me what convinced them you’re of the sea, but...” She reached down to touch his hair. He hadn’t moved at all. “I want to know. I want to help.”

“I put you in danger,” he said, his voice gone so soft she barely heard it.
 

“Not your fault.”

“Yes, it is. Because I haven’t told you about me, and you went looking. I was going to tell you, and I am. I just...” He moved back, sitting on the sandy floor, his hands hanging between his knees. “I needed time, and now...”

She slid down next to him and put a hand on his leg. “It’s okay.” Now he was the one shaking. “Kai?”

“You were injured.” He reached down, stroking the Band Aid on the sole of her foot. “You don’t know how scared I was this morning. When I saw your bag on the beach but not you, I thought...” He swallowed hard, his breath hitching.

“Hey.” She touched his face. “Nothing happened.”

“You don’t understand.” He still stroked her foot.

“Maybe I do. Maybe that’s why everyone leaves,” she said, desperately trying to break the dark mood. “Your foot fetish.”

Okay, what a dumb attempt at a joke.

Kai made a strange sound in the back of his throat, as if he was choking. He let go of her foot and slumped against the bed, dropping his head back.

“Kai?”

A snort escaped him, and then his shoulders began to shake.

He was laughing.

She reached for his hand, but he jerked back, hitting the side of the cot — still laughing, a harsh, hacking sound.

“Can’t believe this.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and shook his head. “Christ,” he muttered, shot to his feet and strode out of the hut.

The door slammed behind him.

“Kai!” She threw the door open to run after him and stopped right outside. Cool wind hit her face and she remembered they were on a cliff over the sea. “Kai, come back.”

It was dark outside, the moon distant on the sea. The cliffs gleamed dully, like tarnished silver, and the waves crashed down below, angry.

She shouted his name until her throat was raw. Numb, she stumbled back inside and flopped on his bed. It smelled of him, his salty-musky scent.

It was too much, all the emotional ups and downs, the fear, the relief, the desire, the confusion. Hugging his pillow, she stared at the shadows dancing on the wall for what seemed like hours.

He’d run again. It was as if the sound of his own laughter had frightened him. That wasn’t normal, was it?

Unless it was something that never happened, as Panos had said.

It was some time before she heard steps outside. The door creaked and Kai entered. He was breathing hard and his legs were scratched as if he’d been running through the thorns and bushes. His eyes were dim and haunted.