Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage #1) (28 page)

She feels a hunger welling beneath the anger and the pain. She wants comfort and she wants to control the pain. She draws the blade against the soft skin of her arm gently at first and then more aggressively. She makes a cut for every year she has known and loved Dawn. The blood flowing down her arm making her feel dizzy and almost euphoric. She just sits there and watches the blood dripping, thinking nothing of the carpet or the permanency of the damage to her body. She thinks only of the blood running in crimson rivers and splashing in intricate snowflake patterns. She feels the power, bleeding is the ability to give life, to wash away pain and suffering; the hunger has been born and will not be satiated until she is fully awake.

She does not know where she is going, only that she must get out of this confined space. She must hunt. Rissa wraps her arm loosely and dresses in a long sleeve leather jacket to keep the blood from showing through. She is only slightly successful and leaves a trail of her suffering behind her. She walks to the meadow, the meeting place, the place where she has shared in the bloodletting with Amber. The last place she felt the intimacy she only shares with Dawn. Rissa smells blood in this place as clear as walking into a butcher's shop. Sensing something is wrong with her, she trembles with fear and anticipation. She is drawn to the center of the open area and there she sits and waits. She feels the world around her in exquisite ways. The heartbeat of a rabbit echoing in her ears, The slow steady rhythm of the gator waiting patiently for its prey to approach, his breathing nearly silent. The saltiness of her sweat. She knows where they all hide; whether they are aware of her, and whether they fear her she does not know. She takes off the jacket and the wrappings allowing her blood to fall freely here on the sacred ground, where so much other blood has been spilled. She feels a connection to this past, to this place, knowing she has a role yet to play. Though she wants to die, it is not death that is coming for her, it is the Awakening.

Rissa sits for a long while meditating, allowing the energy to rise up inside her. She feels the weakness of the blood loss, but knows there is so much more to do before the night comes to a close. She pulls the scissors from her pocket and begins a matching pattern on the opposite arm. The lines are not as clear and she begins having a hard time holding the scissors firmly enough in her slippery hand. Each cut is a measure of her not having told Dawn how much she loves her, wants her, needs her with her. She failed to prove her love and now she has lost the opportunity forever.

Rissa begins to see visions on the outside edges of her sight. the tunnel is closing in on her and darkness is nearing. She again sees the past, the ugliness of her father, and the design of her being. She knows who she was, and now she knows what she is becoming. She sees Dawn standing before her, splashing in a crystal clear stream, and then she sees only a mangy red dog shaking crystal clear droplets from it's wet body. She understands and she is in awe. She has come to the edge of living and on the other side of the veil she will be free of her pain forever. She is fading in and out of consciousness and the night air cradles her with a sense of comfort. She tries to hold on to the vision of Dawn, but it fades to darkness as she clings to life for just one more moment she struggles to hold onto her last moments with all of her senses. She is where she belongs and she has no choice now but to let the darkness take her. She gives up the last breath within her with a sense of peace and finality. When she wakes, she feels the need to vomit again, above all else her body feels twisted rebelling against her. She has no idea where she is or how she has gotten there. Only the searing pain within her fills her mind.

She throws up black blood. Her veins burning, there is a fire within her, consuming her, and then she feels numb as if a tremendous dosage of morphine has been pushed through an IV to take away her pain. She feels nothing, there is no more pain, no more agony within her, the anger and anguish fading away. She looks up at the rising sun and feels the warmth fill her. She stands looking around. Her clothing is drenched with blood and the place she was sitting is spotted with pools of crimson and black. She doesn't remember what happened. She picks up her shirt realizing she can't put it back on. She wanders aimlessly for a few moments trying to gather her wits. She sees bodies of beasts gathered around her, dead and withered, and she feels nothing. She does not know, doesn't care about any of this, she only knows it is time to rest for a while. She must gather her strength, she is so tired.

James and Amber head over to his place deciding it will be best for him to stay with her for a while. He wants to pack some of his things to make it easier. He fills a bag with his essentials and bags up the fresh groceries purchased so they won't go bad in his absence. He is worried and packs in a hurry. Amber and Allie watch as he bustles about trying to make sure he isn't forgetting anything. She wonders what this place looked like before he purchased all of the obviously new decorations and accessories. He even left the tags on many of his purchases giving her even more ammunition for teasing. She can't hold in the giggle that brings him back into focus.

"You ready to get out of here?" he asks with a slight amused and half embarrassed smile. He realizes what she is laughing at and can't help but smile. "Yeah, I did make some changes for you, I haven't changed much since college and it was a bit of a bachelor pad. I guess there really was no reason to grow up until I met you, and once I did, I saw the place for what it was. It made me look like a chauvinist ass and I don't want you to think that is who I am." He says.

She gives him a hug. "
Thank you for being so sweet
," she says and can't let him go without asking, "
So how many posters and beer signs did you take down?"
He smacks her on the butt telling her it's none of her business.

They load up the car. The drive home is quiet with both deeply focused on their thoughts. As they pull into the driveway, Allie breaks the silence with a deep growl. As soon as Amber opens the door, she jumps out of the car breaking into a vicious tirade. The tiny dog senses something neither of them can see. She runs around the car and towards the house bouncing excitedly. She sniffs and searches running back to the car quickly. She waits for them, wagging her tail, she has done her job, making sure it is safe for them to get out and now she is happy.

They laugh at her futile attempts at toughness. She is only a baby, after all. Amber goes inside and James unloads the car. Amber makes space for him in the closet smiling at the thought of him staying with her. He comes in laden with the bags dropping them on the floor in front of the closet.

"
Are you sure you’re okay with this,"
he asks her. In answer she takes him in her arms. Her kiss of reassurance igniting the desire within him. They have so much on their minds and the tenuous nature of life has been put into such sharp focus that neither wants to think too deeply. They find release in each other and sleep restlessly until Allie wakes them.

They spend the entire next day and evening together trying to put some of the pieces of the puzzle into place. Writing out diagrams and maps and reading passages to each other. They spend much of their time on the back porch taking in the sunshine, pulling weeds in the garden and otherwise trying to keep themselves busy. The weekend passes quickly and there is nothing out of place. By Monday morning they feel almost normal again. The morning air is full of promise, but both will find the day has nothing good in store for them.

James drops Amber off at work and both are stunned Rissa is not there yet. She usually arrives long before Amber gets there making sure everything is ready for the day. The coffee station has not been opened, and nothing is stocked from the day before. Amber rushes around trying desperately to put everything in order as quickly as possible. The normal bright atmosphere seems dim and sad in some way today.

She turns on the sign and is immediately swamped with people waiting for their coffee. Typically the doors would have been open an hour ago and people love their daily stop to visit with Rissa and Amber. Many of the local businesses pick up their coffee and pastries every morning and the day just isn't the same without them. James tries to help her for a little while, but knows he has to get to work. He has a few moments of worry about leaving her alone, with Rissa missing. He decides she is probably just sleeping in, ignoring his instincts which are screaming that something is wrong. He will call and check on Amber later.

When the store grows quiet again some hours later, Amber runs upstairs knocking on the door of Rissa's apartment. There is no answer and Amber actually starts to think her friend might have left town for something,
she probably told me
, she thinks, and I just forgot about it with all the other stuff going on. Amber looks over the work calendar for any hints that Rissa's disappearing act is a planned event. There is nothing there. She doesn't know anyone to call, to find out if everything is ok, she decides then and there to get to know about Rissa's life, friends and family a bit more. It seems ridiculous that she feels so close to her and yet truly knows nothing about her.

The day passes slowly as people came and go, everyone asking about Rissa and how she is doing. No one seems to know where she is. Most people coming in ask if she is feeling well and presume that she has caught a bug or something. Travel doesn't seem to be a probability. Then one of the girls Amber has seen before, a girl Rissa went to school with, comes in with tears in her eyes and flowers for Rissa.

The girl asks how she is taking Dawn's death. No one else has mentioned anything like that. Amber doesn't know what to say. She is in shock and simply asks what happened.

"There was a fire, a terrible fire and she was trapped in her house. The firemen found her on the floor in her bedroom, but there was nothing they could do to save her. Rissa must be devastated, they were best friends for so many years." Amber tells the girl Rissa is taking some time to herself and that she will deliver the flowers and well wishes to her when she gets back to the shop.

Amber instantly feels worry washing over her. She had not felt or seen anything of either girl in her dreams, or worse, her daydreams. Somehow their misery and pain have been theirs alone. Now she knows something is wrong, something very bad is happening or is going to happen. She needs to find Rissa, but a small part of her wonders if it is wrong to try and track her down. Rissa deserves to mourn her loss in peace. Amber talks herself into leaving it alone, at least until tomorrow. She remembers what it feels like to want to be alone, and to suffer because those around you refuse to allow it. Everyone thinks they know what is best for you, when truly they are only worried about what is best for themselves.

Amber immediately calls James letting him in on the news of the fire. She asks if he has heard anything and is actually surprised when he replies that he hasn't.

"Sweetie, there was no crime, it was a house fire, they don't bring us in on everything that happens. Joanna might have received the body, or it is possible that it went to Tanner's precinct; they are closer to her home. I believe she might have been across the city lines officially. So are you feeling like Rissa is just off dealing with her loss, or are you feeling something more?" he asks her.

"
Unfortunately I can't feeling anything."
She says. She thinks she understands what causes her gift and if she is right then she should have been aware of both Rissa and Dawn's suffering. Perhaps she still has it all wrong.

Amber feels on edge, like there is something she should know but doesn't. She is worried something bad has happened to Rissa and she feels the loss of what could have been a really good friend in Dawn. That girl was full of spirit, life and energy the last time Amber saw her, it seems so impossible all that vibrancy could simply disappear into flames.

Something is very, very wrong. Amber decides deep down all she knows is that something is off about this whole situation. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems in her world and this will be no exception. Amber works through until closing trying to show a happy face to everyone who comes in. She explains over and over Rissa is taking some time to herself and she should be back soon; she only wishes she believed what she is saying. Even Allie feels the strangeness of Rissa not being there settling into restlessly sleeping on the floor by her kennel for most of the day, not her usual happy and playful self.

When Amber calls, James is in the middle of an argument with the chief, he understands protocol and knows the case is only theirs on borrowed time. James doesn't want to release his evidence over to the FBI. He knows he will have to give them the case, but he wants some time to review the files one more time. He has much of it memorized and even without the photos can easily bring up the photos of the girls in his mind. He knows every detail, it is sometimes just hard to let go of all the hard work when the big boys decide they might want to play. He knows they have little time to focus on each case, and that many that are pulled from city status sit on the shelf for years without as much as a cursory glance. He also realizes that if they are pulling the case, then it has much more history or reach than he fully knows. They have found something in another state, or there had been others before his girls. He is frustrated and angry feeling like his hands are tied and he keeps running into brick walls at every turn.