Awakening (18 page)

Sneaking a glance at him, she saw that disappointed look growing. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, she took a deep breath, flicked the dress away from her, and folded it and set it on the bed. Evan merely nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. He said nothing; he didn’t even look at her body, he simply met her eyes and waited. For the briefest of moments, she fancied she saw a flare of heat in his eyes, all that lovely brown melted into deep, rich chocolate, but in reality the light was too dim and it was probably just wishful thinking anyway. A-cup breasts weren’t usually what men craved.

Steeling herself, she undid the button and zipper of her skirt and stepped out of it, folding it and laying it down with her shirt. That she was bare as the day she was born before Evan, the man who overtook her body and mind nightly in her fantasies, was so unbelievably surreal she began to feel almost as if she were a spectator on the scene rather than one of the main participants. That slight disconnection allowed her to feel calm as Evan began to look her over from head to toe.

His eyes lingered on her small breasts and rounded hips. She could see him catalogue her flaws, the cellulite adorning her thighs and ass. The imbalance of her body, with legs and hips slightly out of proportion with her petite upper body. Her mound, neatly trimmed, but nonetheless with puffy pink lips that were noticeable even when she wasn’t aroused.

She waited for the disappointment and scorn. She waited for the words of disapproval that would be veiled as compliments. She waited for the hurt to start even as she wished he would touch her. Lie to her and tell her she was beautiful. Maybe she could believe it this time. Maybe she would be able to forget herself for a few moments. Maybe – or maybe not.

Evan had moved to stand behind her and his face was set in harsh disapproval.

She took his breath away. When she’d arched to take the dress over her head, his every instinct had urged him to surge forward and suck her nipples into his mouth. To push that skirt up over her hips and ravish her pussy, which waited for him under that thin layer of fabric.

Her body was petite and she had breasts to match. Small, perfectly round mounds of silky flesh that were just begging to be licked, sucked, fondled, and tortured. Her nipples were large and puffy and tightening right before his eyes in the air conditioning. He wanted to reach out and squeeze them. Tug on them and watch them snap back.

She’d covered herself defensively. She was so insecure. It angered him. Who had made her feel so bad? As if her body was somehow inadequate. Hers was a body to be enjoyed and savoured. He would tease out all her sensitive spots and help her understand that her body was as much an erotic playground as any voluptuous woman.

Just as he’d been about to admonish her for her delay, she’d continued, allowing him to watch the sway and jiggle of those tiny little tits as she folded her dress and set it down. Her hips were round and full, her ass sweetly curved and perfectly suited to being fondled and fucked. He was willing to bet money it was soft and her cheeks would hug and pillow his cock nicely. He was all too aware that said cock was rock hard, and if he didn’t adjust it soon he was afraid he’d pull something, but he didn’t want to do anything to distract her. She’d had to be the one to undress. It was key that she choose to bare herself for him for this to work.

That she was frowning so fiercely at herself in the mirror was a problem, though. She was looking at herself as if someone had just betrayed her and left the knife in. That would not do at all. It was time for the lessons to begin.

Standing, he moved to position himself behind her where they were both framed in the mirror. She refused to meet his eyes in the reflected image.

‘What do you see?’ he asked.

‘Flaws.’ Her voice was flat and devoid of emotion. Definitely not good.

‘I don’t see any flaws.’ He kept his voice even.

‘Then you aren’t looking,’ she snapped.

Evan smacked her ass sharply, not enough to bruise but enough to sting, and she yelped and started to turn to face him, but he gripped her waist and kept her facing the mirror. Tears had flooded her eyes but she was glaring. Better her angry than flat.

‘Respect, little one. You’ve already earned two punishments today, are you going for three?’ He made his voice firm even though part of him wanted to grin at her. Her fierceness was arousing. He was willing to bet she could be a tiger in bed if he could coax it out of her.

‘No, sir,’ she said, though it was more like growling since her teeth were clenched.

‘What do you see?’ He nodded again at the mirror. ‘And give the self-deprecation a rest. Talk to me.’

‘I see boobs that are way too small and an ass that is way too big. I see an imbalanced body and one that has too much fat and not enough muscle tone.’ The tears that had pooled in her eyes from the smack on her ass began tracking down her cheeks. ‘I see a body that can never compete with the big-breasted, fit, gorgeous women of the world, and I’ve been told so on many an occasion.’ Her voice was growing shrill. ‘I’m boyish, flat-chested, and unappealing. And I want to know why you are humiliating me this way   sir?’

That last flabbergasted him. Humiliating her? That’s what she thought this was. Oh no, no, no. She had much to learn. Stepping in close to her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him and, yes, she felt it … Those gorgeous eyes just went wide. His erection pressing against her. Her ass was just as soft as he’d imagined even through his jeans and he wanted very, very much to bend her over and explore all that lovely flesh with his mouth, tongue, and fingers. Groaning, he steeled himself to refrain. No penetration. No sex. This was for Claire, not him. Marianne still had his heart, no matter how much his dick wanted Claire.

‘Do you feel that, Claire?’ His voice was hoarse as he fought to control his desires.

‘Yes.’ Her voice was whisper soft.

‘Does that feel like your body is unappealing?’

‘Men have fucked me before, sir.’ Hurt resonated in her voice so much it made his teeth itch. ‘So what? A man will get a hard-on easily enough.’

‘Not me.’ He waited for her eyes to meet his. Scepticism flooded her features, but he continued, ‘After Marianne died, no one made me hard. Only the memory of her, and I couldn’t bear that. The pain was just too much.’ He let his hands rest on her waist; the soft, silky skin felt luscious under his fingers and his cock twitched. The flare in her eyes let him know she’d felt it. ‘After a while, it was like my body just went numb; sex was just no longer relevant. But then you walked into my shop and you, and you alone, made me hard. It was why I stayed away from you, why you found me so unwelcoming. I’m still not ready for another relationship.’

He stroked the skin of her hips and waist, allowing his cock to rest heavily against her ass so she could feel every surge and twitch.

‘So, little one. How do you plan to refute that it was these small, little tits –’ he cupped and lifted them gently, choking back the groan that threatened to escape ‘– and this full, round ass –’ he rubbed his cock deliberately against her ‘– that made my body wake up. That was you, Claire. Not just any woman, you.’ He brought his hands back to her waist; otherwise he couldn’t trust himself not to take her right then.

‘I don’t know,’ she said, her voice wavering.

‘Stop trying, then, and accept that you are very much appealing and enticing.’

‘I’ll try, sir.’

‘There is no try, only do,’ he said with a grin and she laughed as he’d hoped.

‘I didn’t know my dom was going to channel Yoda, sir,’ she said on a giggle.

‘Most versatile am I, little one.’ He grinned, continuing the joke, and was pleased to see her relax. ‘Now, focus. What I want you to do is masturbate for me. Have you ever masturbated while someone watched?’

She’d gone rigid as he’d laid out what he wanted her to do, and only shook her head in response.

‘Well, you’re going to today. First, though, there’s the issue of punishment for breaking the rules. Bend over, Claire.’

The change in subject caught her off guard and he saw the confusion flash across her face, but she complied and the sight of her ass up in the air and her silky, pink pussy lips exposed before him hit him like a kick in the gut. He felt animalistic in his need to bury himself and own her. Deep fucking breaths, Evan. Control yourself.

‘What rule did you break, Claire?’ He placed his hand on one cheek, stroking it lightly, enjoying the contrast between his own swarthy skin and her pale creaminess.

‘I questioned you instead of complying after our session had already begun.’

‘That’s right, little one. Questions are for after. You won’t always understand what I’m asking you to do. I might see that your limits are much higher than you believe and I will push you. Your safeword is your recourse if you feel I’m truly crossing your boundaries. Did you need your safeword?’

‘No, sir.’

‘Exactly. You were being rebellious and stubborn.’

Smack.
Evan spanked one perfectly round cheek and took inordinate pleasure in how the skin pinked so sweetly. Again and again he smacked her cheeks, loving the shake and jiggle and how red the skin was turning. That pain was going to add to her orgasm, she just didn’t know it yet. In between spanks, he rubbed and soothed the skin, murmuring to her how good she was being to accept her punishment. She was crying softly, her tears flowing in a steady stream down her cheeks, and her body trembled under her restraint.

Unable to help himself, Evan reached between her legs and palmed her pussy, and she gasped. She was drenched. Her juices coated his palm and the tops of her thighs.

‘You like the pain, don’t you?’ He sank a finger into her pussy as he spoke, and she clenched around him.

‘Yes … Sir.’ Her voice faltered as he added another finger and began to ply in and out of her soaking folds.

‘That bothers you.’ It wasn’t a question.

‘Yes, sir, it does,’ she whimpered as he added another finger to her hole. She was tight, almost vice-like. The thought of how all that velvet heat would grip his cock almost had him coming in his jeans.

‘Why?’

‘It’s not normal, sir.’ He heard her breath catch and wasn’t sure if it was pain or his finger-fucking that brought the response on.

‘Little one,’ he said gently as he pulled his fingers from her body and licked them despite himself. She was tangy and all female and uniquely Claire and he wanted her desperately.
No!
Pull it together. He wiped his fingers on his jeans and said, ‘Normal is defined by a group, there is no intrinsic normal. Let it go. Pain is but the opposite of pleasure and they are symbiotic. The body’s natural response to pain is to create its own chemical pleasure. I use pain to enhance pleasure. Embrace it.’ He rubbed her ass again and noticed the slight wince; she’d be remembering that spanking for a while.

‘Lie down, little one. You’re not off the hook. It’s time for you to masturbate for me.’

She didn’t want to do it, but her ass couldn’t handle another spanking. She wasn’t even sure she could get through it, but the look in Evan’s eye told her he was very serious, and she wanted desperately to please him. To again see the approval that she’d never seen in anyone’s eyes before.

Carefully, she settled herself on his bed and just luxuriated for a moment in the soft silkiness and the musky scent that drifted across her from his sheets. The fire on her ass was radiating out across her skin and fading into a pleasant pins and needles feeling that she found she quite enjoyed. But the thing she wasn’t feeling was sexual. She felt embarrassed and self-conscious.

Evan settled himself at the end of the bed where he had a bird’s eye view of her hoo-ha if he just leant forward a bit and she froze. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t sit here and masturbate in front of him. She’d fantasised endlessly about this by this point. And never in all those fantasies did she feel so unattractive and ugly and completely lacking as she did in this moment. She didn’t even truly understand what was going on or what his purpose was.

Tears flooded her eyes and she squeezed them shut. She could feel the hot streaks burrowing down her cheeks and dripping into her ear.

‘Talk to me, little one.’ His voice was gentle but firm.

‘I can’t.’ She choked out the words.

‘Can’t talk to me or can’t masturbate?’

She sniffled and rubbed her nose. ‘Both.’ She knew she sounded pathetic.

‘Why?’

‘I’m embarrassed.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I don’t feel sexy at all. I feel stupid.’ She didn’t like the whine that was creeping into her voice.

‘Are you going to let that stop you?’

Not the answer she’d been expecting and she had no response to that.

‘If you’re embarrassed,’ he continued, ‘it’s because you’re choosing to be.’ He said nothing more.

She stared at him, searching his face, but there was nothing more to see there; it was impassive. At least there was no pity in his gaze.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and slowly brought her hands to her breasts. Her hands were tiny and the soft mounds filled her palms, though she doubted they’d do the same in Evan’s hands. No, his would be large and warm and cup them fully. Going with that thought, Claire blocked out everything else and just went with the fantasy. She massaged her breasts and began to squeeze and roll her nipples, imagining it was Evan’s hands instead of her own. Her nipples tightened and she continued to pull and tug them, taking pleasure in the slight zings of pleasure that shot down into her clitoris, which she could feel swelling.

She imagined Evan getting up and moving to lean over her, kissing and sucking on her nipples, and she felt her clitoris pulse in response. Slowly, she stroked down her body to her swollen, wet core. Her lips were puffy and slick. She danced her fingers over her tightly trimmed curls, feeling her moisture with her fingertips. She dipped into her folds and danced her fingers across her clitoris, arching and moaning, imagining Evan’s touch instead of her own.

On impulse she brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked her moisture off them, something she’d never done before. A deep, long groan brought her out of her fantasy and she opened her eyes to see Evan looking at her as if she were a nice big steak and he was a hungry animal. His eyes burned and his hand moved along his cock, which he’d obviously taken out at some point. He looked ravenous, and she bloomed under the knowledge that she had such an effect on him.