Awakened (Vampire Awakenings) (15 page)

“I don’t know!” His frustration and anger had reached a boiling point. She jumped in surprise and winced. Liam took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. She was scared of him already; he didn’t want to frighten her anymore, especially when he hadn’t even told her the worst part yet. “I don’t know,” he repeated softly. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met, and I wanted to know all about you. The more I learned about you, the more I loved you. I think I’ve loved you since that first night. No matter what happens, from here on out, I will always love you, and I will protect you from anyone that tries to hurt you. Even if you never speak to me again, I will still protect you.”

She stared at him, crying silently as her hands shook in her lap. He walked over to the window and stared out the blinds as he gathered his strength before turning to face her again. “If you decide to leave I won’t blame you, but no matter what Sera you cannot tell anyone what I am going to tell you. If you do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you. I don’t think I would be able to stop them from hurting you. They would kill me in order to get to you. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t want you to be hurt,” she whispered tremulously.

He looked at her in surprise. “Are you worried about me?” he asked incredulously.

She nodded slowly. He closed his eyes and turned back to the window. Pain ripped through his body, and a love greater than he had ever thought he could experience engulfed him. “You know,” he said softly. “I never thought that I could love anyone like I love you. I never thought that I would meet a person like you. I didn’t think they existed.”

“Liam...”

“No one is going to hurt me Sera. You just need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone, please.”

“I won’t tell anyone anything that you don’t want me too.”

He nodded slowly and turned back to her. He felt as if his skin was being ripped away and his soul was being bared. “I’m a vampire.”

The words hung heavy in the air as she blinked at him in dazed surprise. Then, she began to laugh. Hitching in a deep breath, she managed to stifle her laughter as she stood slowly. Her eyes blazed with fury, and her jaw was clenched as she turned to him. “You know, there is something wrong with you. I’ve had it, if you don’t want to tell me the truth, then don’t. But don’t pull this bullshit with me. I’m going to the police!”

“Sera...”

“No!” she snapped. “You have done nothing but lie to me. I’ve had it. I’ve had it with you! You’ve won whatever game you were playing. You’ve won! You can run around and tell everyone you made a fool of me, I don’t care!” She turned and stormed toward the door. “You rotten bastard!”

He moved swiftly, and with deadly speed. He was ahead of her before her hand reached the knob. She froze, unable to believe that he had moved that fast. Suddenly, her mind flashed back to the red in his eyes, and the killing rage that had radiated from him last night. The lack of blood on Jacob, on her sheets. For a moment, she wanted to believe him. For a moment, she actually did.

Then her mind snapped back into place. Back into reality. There was no such thing as vampires. They did not exist. He had done nothing but lie to her from the beginning, nothing but hurt her. She couldn’t believe this insanity. It was impossible. Lifting her chin, she glared at him, her eyes full of a burning fury that rocked him.

“You can’t go to the police. I’m not lying,” he said coldly.

“Get the hell out of my way!” she hissed as her hands clenched at her sides.

He stared at her for a moment and then took a step closer. “Sera...”

She took a couple of steps back. Her anger vanished as despair washed over her. She’d had too much. She simply couldn’t take anymore. “Stop, please,” she begged. “Just stop it. I can’t take this anymore. Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me? All I wanted was the truth. Even though you killed him, I didn’t care! I would have helped you. I would have done anything for you! Just leave me alone, let me go.”

She stood with her head in her hands as her shoulders shook with her sobs. He grabbed hold of her hands and forced them away from her face. “I’m not lying to you,” he hissed.

She lifted her eyes slowly, and froze. His eyes were a fierce, blazing red. His beautiful face was twisted into something unrecognizable, something unreal, and horrifying. His long, inhuman teeth hung over his bottom lip. They looked deadlier and sharper than any wolves or lions teeth.

Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open in horror, and then, she screamed. He slammed his hand over her mouth, silencing her before she could make much of a sound. Liam wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. She clawed at his hand and kicked backward with such frenzy that he almost lost his hold on her.

Tightening his grip, he lifted her off of the floor. Her body shook and heaved as she dug into his skin. “Sera stop it,” he grated in her ear. “Stop.”

She continued to scream against his hand as her chest heaved with her wild inhalations, and ceaseless struggles. He hissed sharply as her teeth sank into his palm. “Damn it!”

He dropped her onto the bed. She bounced back up and scrambled to get away. He seized hold of her ankle and pulled her back as she cried out. “No!”

He clamped his hand over her mouth again. Her small fists beat impotently against his chest as he straddled her. Seizing hold of her wrists he clamped them firmly together against her stomach. Her muffled cries became softer as tears spilled down her face.

She ceased struggling and went still beneath him. Her nostrils flared with her fierce inhalations. Her chest heaved rapidly as she watched him through wild, terrified eyes. He kept his hand over her mouth as he tried to steady his own breathing, and the wild pounding of his heart. This was not the way that he had wanted this to go.

“I’m going to take my hand away. Don’t scream Sera. I mean it.”

She nodded slightly. He gently eased his hand from her mouth. She inhaled deeply, a tremor raced through her as she shivered beneath him. Blood stained the corners of her mouth, his blood. He wiped it gently away. She winced and turned her head from his touch.

Pain flared through him as he bent his head in defeat. Of course she would be repulsed by him. He was a monster. But he had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to accept him. He knew now that she wouldn’t. The knowledge ripped his soul to shreds, and caused fury to tear through him.

“You’re the one that wanted the truth!” he spat.

She flinched as his words tore at her. Yes, she had wanted the truth, but who in their right mind could ever imagine that this was it? That he was some kind of monster. That he was a killer. No one could have. No one who was sane anyway, and at the moment she wasn’t entirely sure that she still was.

She couldn’t stop the fierce shaking that wracked her body. Couldn’t stop the mind numbing horror that filled her. “You’re hurting me,” she croaked out.

His grip on her wrists eased, but he didn’t release her. “Look at me Sera.”

She bit into her bottom lip as she took another shuddery breath. She forced herself to turn her head, open her eyes, and look at him. The monster was gone. It was Liam hovering over her, his green eyes dark with turmoil, and anger. His jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in his cheek jumped wildly. Even though the creature was gone, he was still dark, and completely deadly.

Another tremor raced through her. She had seen the hunger, and ferocity, in his vivid red eyes. She’d seen the snarl that twisted his features into something inhuman, something that she didn’t recognize. He could kill her in the space of a heartbeat. Rip her throat out and drain the blood from her before she even had a chance to scream, let alone struggle.

Yet, he made no move to hurt her.

She blinked in surprise as that realization slowly sank in. Warmth, and love, suddenly flashed through his eyes, melting the coldness in them, making him more human. A soft sob broke from her. She bit hard on her lip to try and stifle it. The coldness settled back over his gaze and instantly shut out any warmth.

“Now, are you going to listen to me?” He waited for her to nod her acknowledgment. “Good, because not only does my life revolve around this, but so does yours, and so do four others that I care about. Do you understand?” She could only manage another weak nod. “You can walk out of my life Sera, I will understand if you do, but you cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. Do you hear me?”

She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. In that moment she would have told him anything that he wanted to hear. If there was any chance of her being able to escape than she would say, or do, whatever it took.

“Good. Because if you do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you.”

“You’d kill me?” she breathed.

The rage that snapped through his gaze caused her to recoil. Instinctive terror surged through her, and she began to struggle wildly in his grasp. His hands tightened on her wrists as he held her in place. Pain shot down her arms, she cried out as tears sprang to her eyes. His grasp instantly loosened.

“Sera stop it. I don’t want to hurt you.” His words sank slowly in and her struggles ceased. She lay, panting beneath him, as she met his sincere gaze. “I won’t hurt you. I told you that I would protect you no matter what, and I meant it. But there are others Sera. I can’t stop them all. I can’t let you go if you’re going to tell anyone.”

Sera laughed softly as she shook her head. “Who would believe me anyway Liam? They would lock me in a nuthouse if I started talking about a vampire boyfriend in a frat house.”

“Believe it or not, there are people that would believe you. We can’t afford to have that happen, okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do I have your promise that you’re not going to say anything?”

“If I say no, what will you do to me?”

He sighed wearily; his eyes reflected his torment and anguish. “Take you away from here, keep you away from people. I would hate to do it Sera, but I can’t risk our lives being destroyed. You may grow to hate me for it, hell you probably hate me now, but that’s something that I’m willing to live with. As long as you stay alive, and safe, then nothing else matters.”

There were no lies within his eyes. There was only a fierce need for her to understand, and for her to concede to his will. She swallowed heavily, unable to believe that he would let her leave this room if she gave him her word not to say anything. What kind of monster would do that?

Slowly, she began to realize that he wasn’t a monster. That he was still Liam, her Liam. He could have killed her many times already, but he hadn’t. He didn’t have to let her go. He could make her do whatever he wanted. He was ten times stronger than her, and she was fairly certain that she hadn’t even seen a hint of what he was truly capable of. She didn’t hate him; she didn’t think she could ever hate him. She was terrified of him right now, as she had every right to be, but she didn’t hate him.

“Do you promise Sera?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

His head bent as he took a deep, shuddery breath. He released his hold on her and sat back. She levered her arms beneath her and scooted back on the bed as he stood and walked away. Slowly rubbing her tender, bruised wrists, she watched him in silent disbelief. He really was going to let her go.

“You can leave.”

His back was rigid as he stood by the desk. He didn’t turn as she climbed unsteadily to her trembling legs. She looked at the door, and then back over to him. “You’re really letting me go?” she asked in disbelief.

Liam closed his eyes as pain seared through his entire body. “Yes,” he grated. “I don’t expect you to stay with me Sera. I know that I can’t expect that. I know what I am, what I can never give you.”

“And what is that?” she whispered.

He couldn’t look at her for fear that it would melt his resolve. She was the only bright thing in his entire dark life. When she left, she would take all of the light with her, and leave him to drown in the dark. But he couldn’t expect her to stay. He was a demon. He survived on blood. He could destroy her with a single flick of his wrist. He had nothing but blood and death to offer her.

“A life Sera, I can never offer you a life. I won’t age, I won’t die. I can offer you nothing. Now go, before I change my mind and decide that I don’t care about anything, but keeping you with me no matter what it means. No matter how you feel about it.”

Sera’s gaze traveled back to the door. Her heart was ripping to shreds in her chest. She had never known such physically emotional pain in her life. She couldn’t breathe through the constriction in her chest; she could hardly see through the tears burning her eyes. If she walked out of this room, and left him, then a part of her would cease to be. But, if she stayed, then she gave up her hopes of a family, of children. She would grow old and die. He would stay young and alive.

She could always join him. Horror shuddered through her at the thought of drinking blood, and her mind instantly shut out the possibility. She couldn’t do that, no matter what, she couldn’t do that. She had to give him up. She had too. Tears streaked down her face as she took a stumbling step forward, and halted.

“Go Sera,” he hissed. “Leave.”

She sobbed loudly as she fell against the door. “Liam,” she whispered.

He didn’t turn to her. He kept his eyes firmly shut as he stood stiffly, waiting for her to leave. It took every ounce of strength that he possessed not to grab her and keep her from leaving him. It took all he had not to grab her and force the memories from her mind. But he could not, would not, do that to her. To him. It was better to end it now, to let her leave, instead of having to give her up in five years, ten years, when he loved her even more.