Avian (The Dragonrider Chronicles) (17 page)

On our way, we passed another group of avian students. Once again, I didn’t recognize any of them, but I did notice they looked a little older than us. They were also wearing those same golden stripes stitched onto the shoulders of their uniforms.

I leaned over to Felix. “What are those stripes for? Do they outrank us?” I still wasn’t familiar enough with the order of power amongst the dragonriders to know who outranked me. I just assumed I had to salute everyone except for fledglings and other avians.

“Hah! They’d like you to think so. Don’t let them talk down to you.” Felix smirked. “We get four tries to pass this year in training. Didn’t you know that? If you fail the battle scenario, or you don’t perform well in interrogation training, they give you a stripe and you get to try again next year. After three stripes, they put a circle on your shoulder, and that means it’s your last chance to pass. Trust me, you do not want to get a circle. They always give those guys the hardest time.”

“Does anyone pass on the first try?” I asked. I had to wonder. There seemed to be a lot of avians walking around with stripes on their shoulders.

Felix shrugged. “Sure, I guess some do. But it’s not the end of the world if you don’t. The whole point of this training is to learn how to hold up under pressure, so the more you endure, the stronger you are.”

I let that sink in as we walked the rest of the way to the blacksmith’s shop set up in one of the small forges. So even if I messed up this time, I could try again next year? Hearing that left me puzzled. Sile had always made it sound like this was the only chance I’d get.

The blacksmith from last year didn’t seem to even notice that I had basically doubled in size since he measured me before. Or if he did, he didn’t say a word about it. He worked, grumbled, and scratched at his beard while he jotted down my information.

When he started fitting me for a helmet, I noticed that there were a lot of different styles. Last year, all his samples had been plain and basic. Fledglings didn’t really need nice armor for training. Each one of these helmets had a different shape and design. He picked them up one by one, taking his time to fit it onto my head, and then examine carefully how it looked. Finally, he seemed to settle on one he liked. It fit my head snugly, and the glass slit for my eyes was a little wider, so I could see more.

“Going traditional?” Felix asked. I could see his expression through the glass eye-shield, and he didn’t look happy. “The style seems a little old-fashioned to me.”

The blacksmith made an annoyed, barking sound as he yanked the sample helmet off my head. “Bah! What do you know? Who is the armor master here, you or I?”

“It’s okay.” I didn’t want Felix to start an argument over something like that. Maybe he didn’t realize how personally these craftsmen took their work. After years of watching Ulric make dragon saddles, I knew better than most not to question them like that. “Traditional is probably best. I stand out enough already as it is.”

Felix frowned like he didn’t agree. “At least do some engraving. Otherwise, I might as well just loan him my grandfather’s armor.”

The blacksmith made another angry sound, like a mixture of a growl and a cough, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he went back to work. When he finished, he held up his notes for me to see.

“Sign there. Then pay up,” he ordered, jabbing a gritty finger at the bottom of the page.

I scanned over the notes. I couldn’t read his jumbled writing at all, but I signed my initials at the bottom anyway. When I counted out his payment, I ended up handing over a third of the coins from the stash Sile had given me. It made me anxious about how much money I was costing him. How long did it take to earn this much? Shouldn’t this money be spent on his own family?

“Never seen anyone jump from a size three to an eight in a year,” the blacksmith muttered. It caught me off guard. Even though he probably didn’t get many halfbreed customers, I’d assumed he didn’t remember me. He crammed the coins in his apron and waved me off. “It’ll be ready in two days.”

It took a little longer to find the tackmaster who had made my saddle last year. After we did, and got Mavrik to agree to being fitted with the wax mold again, the exchange went basically the same way. I picked out a more basic, traditional design made out of black leather, and Felix complained that it was too plain. Apparently, I was expected to have a more ornate saddle since this would be the one I used in battle someday.

In the end, I insisted on sticking with the most basic style. I still couldn’t shake off my guilt about spending all Sile’s money that way. It seemed like a waste. I didn’t really need all the frills and details that Felix kept insisting on. They were just for decoration.

“It’s fine,” I told him. “It probably took Sile a long time to earn this money. I can’t blow it all on stuff I don’t even need. I’ll get the basics, and send whatever money is leftover back to him. He’s got a family to feed, you know.”

“He gave you that money so you
could
blow it on outfitting. A rider’s saddle is supposed to be his pride. It’s a mark of accomplishment.” Felix crossed his arms stubbornly. He didn’t get it. He was the son of a powerful duke, so I knew money was probably never an issue for his family. But I had experienced firsthand how much difference a little bit of money could make. It could mean the difference between eating or going to bed hungry.

I rolled my eyes and paid for the plain saddle anyway. “It’s just a saddle, Felix. My bond with Mavrik is my pride. It’s all I need. Anyway, I haven’t exactly accomplished anything yet, have I?”

Felix couldn’t really argue with that, but he sulked the whole way back to the dormitory. When we sat down in the dining hall, he slammed a tray of food down between us. There were two big plates piled high with food. For the first time since my weird growth spurt, I didn’t feel guilty about eating as much as I wanted. I didn’t waste any time diving into the fresh baked bread and roasted meat.

“You’re different now.” Felix was still glaring at me over the huge leg of turkey he was holding.

“How so?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it. Something’s definitely changed, though,” he answered with a mouthful of food. Then, in the blink of an eye, his sulky demeanor vanished like he’d forgotten all about the saddle and armor. He started grinning at me with that mischievous twinkle in his eyes again. “So. How’s your girl? I bet she was surprised to see you like this, eh? Did you finally kiss her?”

“No.” I’d given up trying to explain to him that Katty and I had never been a couple a long time ago. He assumed that because we’d written letters to each other. I just decided to go with it. “She basically dumped me right when I got back.”

“Aw, that’s rough.” He looked genuinely sorry for me. “Did she say why?”

“Not exactly. I sort of came home and found her with someone else.” It still stung to admit that. Not because I had any feelings for her anymore, though. “She’s here with him, now. They’re both working for her father as blacksmith apprentices.”

Felix sat straight up in his chair, and looked like he was about to choke on his food. “You’re kidding! She’s here? Why didn’t you say so before? I want to get a look at her.”

I shook my head. “No way. She doesn’t want me anywhere near her.”

“What about the new guy?” he pressed. “Why don’t you try to fight him for her? You’d probably win now that, well, you’re practically a giant.”

I frowned down at the half-eaten loaf of bread in my hand. “Because he’s actually a nice person. It wasn’t his fault. She told him I was like her little brother.” My pride took another hit.

Felix cringed. “Ouch.”

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” I took a big bite of bread and chewed while I thought it over. “I’m not that upset, though. I was before. Now I think it’s better this way.”

He looked stunned. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

Felix started eyeing me suspiciously. I could see the wheels turning while he tried to figure out why I wasn’t more upset over being rejected like that. I’m sure anyone else would have been. But whenever I thought about my feelings, or girls, or any of that stuff… it wasn’t Katty’s face that came to mind.

I could feel the lump under my vambrace where the handkerchief Beckah had made for me pressed against my forearm. It reminded me of the last time I’d seen her, standing on the edge of the ocean. I did
not
want Felix to know about any of that. I knew if he ever found out, the teasing would never end.

“So what about you? How was your time at home?” I changed the subject before he could start interrogating me.

Felix’s eyes got dark, and he started picking at his food. He stabbed at his boiled potatoes like he was trying to murder them. “Terrible, as usual. I don’t want to talk about it.”

I was speechless. Felix had never shut me out like that before. But when it came to my personal life, I knew he would never let me dodge questions like that. I wasn’t about to let him get away with it, either.

“You might as well just say it,” I said. “I’m not going to let it go. So talk.”

His lip curled some, like he was fighting back a snarl, and he stabbed another potato. I could see rage burning in his eyes. “Seriously, leave it alone.”

I was willing to call his bluff. I leaned forward and stole a potato off his plate just to spite him. “Talk,” I demanded again.

He shot me a dangerous look and stayed silent for a few minutes. I didn’t say anything, either. Finally, he let out a loud sigh and surrendered. “Dad’s got some kind of nervous illness. He won’t even come out of his room. My mother tells me he’s sick with worry that I won’t uphold my duties as his heir, or that I’ll be killed in battle and there’ll be no one left to take over the estate. She says if I acted more like an adult and took more responsibility, he might get better.”

I hoped I was hearing that wrong. “You mean, they’re saying it’s your fault he’s sick?”

Felix didn’t look up. His expression was so bleak, I barely recognized him. I’d never seen him look like that. “Jae, it’s always my fault when it comes to them. Dad was furious when I chose to become a dragonrider instead of staying home and learning to run our estate. If I wasn’t their only child, I know he would have already disowned me. He’s told me before he doesn’t think I can handle being duke.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m not giving this up. I’ve worked too hard. It feels wrong not to be here, you know? Dad can disown me, if he wants.”

I couldn’t help but frown. “You’re giving up being a duke? Just to be a dragonrider?”

“Of course not. He won’t
actually
disown me. I’m the only heir to my family’s name. When my dad dies, there’s no one else to take over except me. If I don’t take his place as duke, our estate will have to be broken up amongst our extended family. Sooner or later, I’ll have to retire as a dragonrider and take his place. In the meantime, I’m going to do what I want. And I want to be here.” He said it like it was nothing, but I knew giving up being a dragonrider was a big deal. I had seen the effect it was having on Sile.

I thought about that while we finished eating. It was hard for me to see Felix as a noble. We had been through a lot together last year, and he’d never acted like someone with a lot of power or influence. Looking at him from across the table, I tried to decide if I could even picture him as one of those fat, rich men wearing fluffy silk shirts, fur cloaks, and lace.

No. I definitely couldn’t picture that.

As we left the dining hall to go back to our room, Felix brought up the dragonrider ranking system again. He was amazed that I still didn’t know anything about it, and started rattling off information faster than I could follow.

“Once we pass our avian year, we’ll be sworn in as lieutenants,” he explained.

“You mean like Sile was?” It didn’t seem right for me to be the same rank as Sile and Jace yet. They had both fought in the war and served as instructors for years.

“Hah! No, of course not. They were
seasoned
lieutenants. That’s different. It means they’ve fought in combat more than five times, or have done something worthy of being promoted,” he said. When we got to the door of our room, he paused to show me where the placard had the abbreviation “Sn.” before Jace’s name.

“And that stands for seasoned?” I hadn’t paid much attention to it before.

He nodded. “Although, most people just call them lieutenants anyway. They like to group us all together because generally we are the ones who do the most fighting. It takes a long time to get promoted past seasoned lieutenant, and once you do, it means less time on the actual battlefield.”

Felix went on tell me about the other ranks. After seasoned lieutenants came captains, colonels, and then there were only three higher ranks a dragonrider could achieve. Those were the most prestigious offices in all of the king’s forces.

“The two sky generals are in charge of all the forces north or south of the royal city,” he went on as he opened the door. “But really, they’re basically glorified errand boys. They spend most of their time behind a desk, and answering to the lord general when something goes wrong.”

We both fell silent when he said that title. We’d met the last lord general, and it wasn’t something either of us wanted to talk about where someone might overhear.

When I looked at Felix, I could see the frustration on his face. I wondered if he had the same concerns and suspicions I did. I knew for sure that none of what Academy Commander Rayken had told us last year was true. Of course, I had no real proof of that. But anyone with holes for eyes could see that it was some kind of a cover up. Someone was working hard to keep the truth hidden about what the Lord General had been doing with that god stone.

I started thinking back to when I first saw that stone. Commander Rayken had called it the god stone. I didn’t know what that meant, or anything about the stone itself, but I could remember clearly how looking at it had made me feel. Just one glimpse of it had pulled me into some kind of weird trance. It still gave me chills. Thankfully, Sile had been there to clamp a hand over my eyes and drag me away.