Avenging Autumn (7 page)

“No, not at all. I don’t know your situation.”

“Well, it wasn’t a good one, I promise you that. I wouldn’t put Billy through all this upheaval if I didn’t think I was doing the right thing. I didn’t run for myself.” She fixed her astonishing green eyes on him. “You have to understand that. If it was just me, I probably would have stayed and never found the strength to run. But as soon as I saw that bastard lashing out at Billy, I knew I had to go. I’d never forgive myself if Billy ended up with a broken arm, or worse, and I knew I could have done something to prevent it.”

“So you don’t plan on going back?”

“Only if hell freezes over, which, by the craziness of the world at the moment, could be a possibility.”

He gave a laugh. “Yeah, I can believe that.”

“Look, I don’t want us to outstay our welcome,” said Madison. “I can see you guys have a lot going on, and now the city is safe again, Billy and I should really get out of your hair.”

Blake frowned.  “You don’t have to do that. Don’t you want to wait for Chogan to get back?”

She gave a shrug, but wouldn’t meet his eye. “Oh, I don’t think he’ll be too bothered if he gets back and finds me gone. I mean, he’s been great and everything, but I don’t think he really wants to get himself saddled with a single mom, especially considering the amount of baggage I carry with me.”

“Yeah, but he’d still want to say goodbye—know that you and Billy are safe.”

“Oh, I’ll get in touch when I get settled. I have a friend in the city who I’m sure will put me up for a while—well, she’s a friend of my ex’s really, but she and I have gotten close over the last few years, you know. And she adores Billy.”

“I still think Chogan would want to—” he tried, but she cut him off.

“Seriously, I think Chogan has his mind on other things ... other people, at least.”

Again, she wouldn’t meet his eye as she spoke, and Blake wondered if she was talking about Autumn. Chogan hadn’t done much to disguise the fact he had feelings for Autumn. Blake had thought the arrival of Madison might have signaled a change, but it appeared the other woman had picked up on Chogan’s affections as well.

He tried not to experience the stab of jealousy the realization brought with it. Autumn and Chogan were out there, together again now. Chogan was full and strong, and he’d always had a way of charming women. Did he need to worry about him and Autumn?

“So,” prompted Madison. “Do you think she’d mind if I made a call?”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t,” Blake said, pulling himself from his thoughts. He wanted Madison to stay for purely selfish reasons—as a distraction for Chogan. “But I guess you’d better ask her yourself.”

Her cheeks colored pink. “Oh, sure. Of course. I’ll do that.”

“Mom!” The shout came from inside the house.

She gave Blake a tight smile. “I’d better go help him. My guess is that milk is all over the floor.”

And she turned and disappeared back inside the house.

Lakota finished his sandwich and put the empty plate on the floor.

“You know, Father,” said Blake, “I think I’m more cut up by the fact I can no longer shift, than the fact I can no longer walk.”

“I think the two are connected. If you could shift, I think perhaps your body would change enough to heal itself. But, until your wolf is willing to try that with you, you won’t be able to shift or walk.”

“So how do we go about getting my spirit guide back? I can’t even feel the wolf in my head anymore.”

“It will still be joined to you. It’s just distanced itself from you,” Lakota said. “I think we should try again to ask the spirits to help you heal.”

“I’d be willing to try anything.”

“My fear is that it’s not your body that your spirit guide is frightened of, but your mind, and soul, and heart. It senses that you’re broken inside, Blackened Hawk, as well as the outside.”

“I don’t know what I can do to change that. I’m trying, but when what makes you the person you are is gone, it’s almost impossible to get them back again. I feel so worthless, impotent sitting here in this damn chair while others have gone out to fight! What is my place in the world now? Who am I supposed to be?”

“That’s what you need to figure out. Until you do, I fear your wolf will keep its distance.”

“But will you still try to make contact?” Blake asked.

Lakota nodded. “Yes, I’ll try.”

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M
IA TREMBLED, SHAKEN, but unhurt by the other shifters.

Peter trotted up to her and nuzzled against the corner of her muzzle, checking she was all right. She flicked her tongue out in a lick, her sensitive palate picking up on the unease radiating from him. Though the attack from the other shifters had been sudden and unprovoked, Autumn now appeared to be inviting the other group along. Mia didn’t know if fighting was something that just happened between new groups of shifters when they were in animal form, but it wasn’t something she was used to and the attack had left her anxious. No one had been hurt—except possibly the pride of the wolf shifter when Marcus had used the branch to swipe the wolf when it came after her—but she still didn’t like the idea of running side by side with these new shifters.

From his harsh words, it seemed Chogan thought so too, but for once Autumn wasn’t listening to him. She was so hell bent on finding Vivian, and destroying her, she wasn’t thinking clearly. Mia knew exactly how Autumn’s mind worked, and in her head she saw strong, aggressive shifters and figured that if they wanted to come along for the hunt, then why should she stop them? Autumn had forgotten that the reason Mia and Peter, and all the others were with her on this was because they loved her and would do anything for her. These other shifters only wanted to do what was best for themselves, and she’d heard about how they’d been tormenting those poor people back in Chicago. Plus, she didn’t like the way the blond guy was eyeing up Autumn—as predatorial as the leopard he shifted from. Autumn had been going through some tough times, but Mia didn’t think she was blind enough not to recognize his attraction. Her allowing them to come only gave this new guy Ollie Pritchard the wrong idea.

For once, Mia wished she were back in her human body so she could council her friend. She briefly debated trying to force the shift back, but several things stopped her. One was that everyone was getting back on the move now, and she didn’t know how long it would take her to shift back. She didn’t want to hold people up. The other thing she was nervous of was the pain. It hurt so badly when she’d shifted into animal form—that pain still so fresh in her mind—and she was frightened to do it again. Also, if she shifted back now, she’d end up naked around a whole heap of strange males. She knew Peter would protect her modesty,  and they’d put changes of clothes into Lakota’s truck before they’d left, but she didn’t want to attract that kind of attention to herself. Finally, she didn’t want to leave Peter in big cat form. This was the first time she and Peter had run together, and she loved the sensation of having his strong, agile form running at her side. It was an exhilaration she’d never experienced before, a sense of them being one unit. She’d never felt so at one with another being, as if they were created from the same cloth, and that said a lot considering she had a twin brother. More than anything, she wanted to keep Peter at her side, so she wouldn’t shift back until this was all done and he was ready to.

The newly swelled group got on the move again. The humans divided between the two trucks, with Autumn, Chogan, Daisy, and the soldier in one, and Marcus and Angie in the other. The shifters gave each other space as they ran or flew, never moving too far away from the vehicles and the road, making sure they could still catch sight of them between the trees.

Sahale and Tocho, both tigers, one a golden yellow, the other white, ran together just ahead of her and Peter. Nadie and Tala flew in advance of everyone else, using their aerial view as an advantage.

One of the wolves of Tooth and Claw ran alongside Mia. He bumped his shoulder against hers—he stood taller, but she was longer and bound with muscle. She snapped and snarled at him, and almost lost her footing.

Peter must have noticed something was up, he fell back and then approached the wolf from behind. With a snarl, he lashed his front paw out, claws catching the wolf’s hind leg. The animal faltered and fell over his own feet.

The creature rolled and jumped back up again, bounding away, a doggy-style grin on its muzzle. It jumped away, its tongue lolling. If it wasn’t for the sheer size of the wolf, she’d have believed she was looking at a pup trying to encourage its pack mates to play.

Peter let out a low growl, a deep rumble in his chest that made it clear he wasn’t going to put up with any messing around.

Mia continued to run, but from out of nowhere, her vision grayed over at the edges. She slowed, and Peter slowed with her. The world spun around her, the ground not quite stable beneath her feet. Alarm fired through her veins and she came to a stop, wishing she was able to voice how she felt. Peter nudged her and nuzzled her with his nose, his coal ringed, amber eyes filled with worry, but she couldn’t have him close to her right now. Sudden nausea swept over her and she turned away from him. Her mouth filled with a rush of saliva and her shoulders hunched as her stomach and diaphragm contracted, forcing the contents of her stomach from her body. She retched and vomited onto the dirt ground, her eyes stinging, and the stench assaulting her nostrils.

Fear worked its way through her bones. What was wrong with her? Was it something to do with the shift? Had her body reacted badly to it, or perhaps it was because she wasn’t used to all the running. As a woman, she never ran anywhere. Autumn had often tried to get her to go along on her hour long runs around the lake back in Chicago, but Mia had always told her that she wasn’t built for running.

She reached into the back of her mind, trying to connect with the spirit animal whose shape she was currently residing inside, but the animal seemed to retreat, not wanting to connect any further. They were newly bonded, and hadn’t yet created the years of trust that had been formed between the older shifters and their animal guides.

Once again, she wished she had the use of language to communicate with Peter and ask him all these questions, but even as she was thinking it, the nausea and dizziness began to subside.

She turned back to him and let out a low rumble of a purr to let him know that she was all right. The muscles in his shoulders and back relaxed slightly as he heard the sound, and he nuzzled her again. This time she returned the affection.

The others were getting some distance ahead of them by now. They needed to catch up. Whatever had been wrong seemed to have passed, so Mia jerked her head in the direction they’d been going, and started off at a quick trot, just to make sure the dizziness wasn’t going to return. She felt as strong as she had before, and so increased the trot to a run, Peter matching her pace with every footstep.

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W
ITH BLAKE MANEUVERING the wheels with his hands, Lakota pushed him out into the forest. Both of them hoped being closer to nature would help Blake connect with his wolf more easily. He desperately wanted to believe his father’s ancient spells would work this time, but when Lakota had tried before, Blake had felt nothing. Except when they’d tried before, they’d focused more on mending Blake’s body than anything else. This time, Blake only wanted to connect with his wolf. Lakota would try to send Blake’s spirit to the same plain on which his wolf guide resided, and try to make contact.

Nerves churned in Blake’s stomach as he used his arms to lift himself clear of his wheelchair. His father wound an arm around Blake’s waist to try to help him, but Blake knew his size and weight were far too great for an elderly man like Lakota.

“Leave me, Father,” he chided. “I can do this.”

He was grateful for his upper body strength. He remembered how he used to train, doing exercises where he’d needed to lift his whole body weight because he’d never wanted to get into a situation where his physical strength would let him down. Of course, he’d never had paraplegia in mind when he’d been training, but at least now it was paying off.

Blake lifted himself off the chair, and then awkwardly dropped to the ground.

“You need to lie down,” said Lakota. “Each point of your body will connect with an element of the earth, and your soul ... your spirit ...” he held his fist at his heart, “will be the thing that needs to let go. You can’t allow yourself to think of worries happening on this world, as that will bind you to it. Think only of your wolf, and the plain it exists upon now.”

Blake knew what Lakota was trying to tell him. He wasn’t to allow his thoughts and heart to be filled with his fears for Autumn, or with his anger and frustration at being in the position he was now. He needed to let go of all of that, and allow himself to connect with his wolf.

“I’ll try, Father, but I struggle to clear my thoughts.”

His father gave a sad smile. “That’s the trouble with your generation—you always must be busy and distracted. It’s as if you are frightened of spending time alone with yourself.”

“You’re probably right, but I’ll try.”

“Good.”

Blake lay in the position Lakota instructed and gazed up at the sky. Branches swayed gently above his head, leaves rustling. The sky beyond was blue and endless, only tiny wisps of white cloud highlighting the tone.

“This may be uncomfortable,” Lakota warned.

Something hot and wet dripped into his palm, and Blake sucked air in between his teeth. He glanced to the hand. Lakota had dripped hot wax into the center and was now placing a candle in the middle of Blake’s palm.

“Sorry,” his father apologized. “It’s the only way to get the candle to stand up.”

“Couldn’t I have just held it?”

Lakota shook his head. “The backs of your hands and fingers must connect with the earth. This is the only way.”

The sharp pain had already faded.

Lakota repeated the process with the second candle and his other hand, and then moved down to his feet. He unlaced Blake’s boots and removed his socks, so his bare heels pressed against the forest floor. He set the candles on the ground just below Blake’s feet.