Authors: Marissa Farrar
Tags: #Werewolves, #shifters, #Spirit Shifters Series, #Series Books, #paranormal romance, #Fantasy, #Marissa Farrar
Could it be true? He definitely had felt different, but that could be explained away by something as simple as the adrenaline rush.
Whatever the reason, it was something to go on, and Blake would do anything to get back to the man he once was.
“I’d like to try again.”
His father nodded. “Good. You remember the rules from last time?”
“Yeah, don’t lose sight of my body.”
He hadn’t forgotten the feeling of being lost in that strange, empty world and had no intention of making the same mistake twice. He wondered if his father would be encouraging him to try again if he knew Blake had lost sight of his body before, and that he’d even contemplated not coming back.
“That’s right. Are you ready now?”
Blake took a final slurp of his coffee. “Sure.”
He turned to Madison. “Are you going to be okay with him?” he asked, jerking his head toward the locked cellar door.
“Of course. Send Billy in when you go out. I figure you might need your privacy.”
“Will do.”
“We’ll be fine,” said Wenona, flapping them out with a tea towel. “You boys go and do what you need to do.”
Blake and Lakota exchanged a glance, suppressing smiles.
“I’ll go and get what I need,” said Lakota. “I’ll meet you outside.”
Blake wheeled himself to the front door. It was already open due to Billy playing outside and Madison wanting to be able to hear him, so Blake just pushed the chair through the doorway and headed down the ramp. The boy was scratching in the dirt with a stick and he glanced up as Blake approached.
“Your mom wants you to go back in the house now, buddy.”
The boy grinned. “Okay. Is my daddy still in the basement?”
Blake didn’t know what to say. “Errr, yeah. But he’s all right. It’s just safer down there for him.”
“I know. My daddy gets mad sometimes.”
Blake’s heart broke for him. No kid should have to go through a parent mistreating them in such a way. Your parents should be the ones you could rely on whatever the situation.
Billy ran back inside the house. Lakota met him on the way, and ruffled the boy’s hair as they passed. Blake reminded himself how lucky he was to have Lakota as a parent. He’d done his father a great disservice by leaving all those years ago and effectively cutting himself out of his life. He’d given no thought to his family back then, the pain he might have caused. Though he’d written, he’d been so caught up in his own pain at the death of his childhood girlfriend, and the belief both she and Chogan had betrayed him, that he’d never spent much time worrying about how his father felt. Now Autumn had lost her father as well. He needed to make sure he appreciated having the old man around.
“Hey, love you, Dad,” Blake said as Lakota approached.
Lakota gave a surprised smile of pleasure. “I love you, too, son. What’s brought this on?”
Blake shrugged. “No reason. Just wanted to make sure you knew.”
“You’re going to be just fine,” Lakota said, misunderstanding the reason for Blake’s sudden words of endearment. “We all are.”
“Sure, I hope so.”
“Are you ready?” his father asked.
Blake nodded. “Are we going to the same place?”
“I think that would be best.”
Lakota positioned himself behind Blake’s chair and helped to push Blake through the rougher terrain, while Blake pushed the wheels with his hands to help things along. He couldn’t expect his father to wrestle the entire weight of both him and the chair through the forest. The shadows cast over them as they moved beneath the canopy of trees, the atmosphere growing more subdued. The drop in temperature as fall approached had reduced the number of insects. Even the birdlife was starting to move to warmer climes, while other small mammals scurried around, trying to gather the last tidbits of food before they bedded down for the winter.
They came to a halt in around the same position they’d been last time. Blake pushed down with his palms on the seat of the wheelchair and lifted himself clear, before maneuvering onto the ground. He shuffled away to give himself space between himself and the chair, and then lay flat. Lakota moved around him, placing candles, as he had before, and scattering herbs. He sang a low, ancient song, calling to the spirit world for help.
Blake steeled himself for the strange sensation of leaving his body once more. Though he was nervous about entering the spirit world, he was also looking forward to being able to walk again, even if it wasn’t for real.
His father’s voice surrounded him, lulling him into a sense of peace. The scent of the herbs filled his nostrils, making his mind feel like it was floating. Heat from the candles warmed his skin.
Blake opened his eyes and realized he was already sitting up. Understanding what was happening a little more this time, he got to his feet, and parted his spirit from his body. The world around him was different again, an empty, strangely soulless place, considering the circumstances.
Blake stood still for a moment, adjusting, and watching his father continue the routine. It felt surreal to look down on himself. His legs appeared smaller already, as if he’d lost muscle definition, which he probably had. He hated to think of himself wasting away like that.
Not wanting to look any longer, he turned away and stepped between the trees. To be able to move using his own two feet again was indescribable. It was sheer freedom—something he’d always taken for granted before. It was so easy to worry about insubstantial things in life—career, money, relationships. But when suddenly a part of your body no longer worked—whether through chronic illness or something as dramatic as paralysis—everything else faded into the background.
He needed to focus on his reason for being here. He needed to find his wolf.
Blake moved between the trees, but glanced back over his shoulder with every other step, making sure he could still spot his body between the trunks.
A mournful howl, heartbreakingly full of sorrow, cut through the motionless air.
Blake drew to a halt, his heart lurching. His wolf was close, and from the sound of the howl, the animal felt as lost as he did.
“I’m here!” he called out. “I’ve come to find you.”
The howl came again, and Blake took another couple of tentative steps. He glanced back over his shoulder. Any more distance, and he’d lose sight of his body again. But he was so close, he knew it. He’d found his way back last time, surely he’d do so again? Finding his wolf would be worth it.
“Can you hear me?” he called again. “Follow the sound of my voice.”
The howls turned into a couple of high pitched yaps.
The massive wolf broke from between the trees and trotted toward him. The sight of the animal stole Blake’s breath. It was beautiful, with its thick, luscious fur, intelligent golden eyes, and strong body.
The wolf stood, facing him, its head lowered, but hackles raised. It locked him with those intense, yellow eyes, studying his face.
“I hoped you’d find me again,” Blake said, softly.
The animal growled.
Blake tried again. “I understand this is all strange to you, but I’m still the same man I always was. We need to work together—it’s the only chance either of us has of things being right again.”
The wolf gave a whimper and pawed at its nose.
“I know, I’m frightened too. I don’t know what will happen if we try to shift, but if we try it and it doesn’t work out, I’ll push you out again. I have the strength for that—mentally and physically. Just because my legs don’t work, doesn’t mean I’m no longer the same person.”
As he said the words, he knew them to be true.
“It’s okay, you can come closer,” he encouraged. He didn’t know why, but he had the certainty that if he could get the wolf to come to him, to have it submit and allow Blake to run his fingers through its fur, then he would be able to call it again in the real world. His wolf needed to know Blake was still the one in control, that it still needed to come when Blake called.
Blake stretched out his hand, shortening the space dividing them. “It’s okay,” he said again, his voice soft. “You have nothing to be afraid of.”
The possibility of the wolf attacking didn’t even cross his mind. After all, he was in spirit form now. Could either of them do each other any harm when they didn’t have physical bodies to hurt?
The wolf took a couple of cautious steps closer. Blake’s excitement mounted, though he did his best to tamp it down. He didn’t want his desperation or enthusiasm to scare the animal away.
Another couple of steps brought the wolf even closer. Blake’s breath caught, his body tense with anticipation. What would happen when he touched his wolf again? He wanted nothing more than for them to be as one.
A step, and another. Only a couple of yards separated them now.
“It’s okay,” he said again, stretching his hand out farther, but not wanting to step forward for fear of scaring him away. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
A sudden crash, followed by a bang, made Blake jump.
The wolf froze for a split second and then whipped around and ran for the trees.
His name was called in the distance, “Blake, Blake!”
But he stared after his wolf in dismay. The animal was gone.
“Fuck!” he yelled into the forest. “Fuck! Fuck!”
The shout of his name came again, and Blake turned in the direction he’d left his body and ran. He crashed through the undergrowth. His name was shouted again, followed by another crash. Something had happened back in the real world. Someone needed his help. Was it Autumn? Had she made is back to Wenona’s but gotten hurt?
Once again, he’d lost sight of his body.
Dammit. He was sure he’d known where he left it, but once more everything looked the same and he’d lost his sense of direction.
“Blake!”
The sound of his name again. He needed to follow that sound if he was ever going to find his way back to the real world. He ran, undergrowth lashing against his legs, ducking low hanging branches, weaving between tree trunks. He felt sure he was heading the right way, that the call of his name had come from this direction, but this strange, empty world had a way of morphing things, and there was always the chance he wasn’t.
“Blake!”
No, it was definitely closer now.
He burst through the trees and drew to a halt. His father had stopped his song and was standing at Blake’s feet. Lakota’s gaze flicked anxiously between his son’s face and the direction of the house. Something had happened up there.
Without waiting any longer, Blake hurried over to his body and stepped back into the space it inhabited. It felt strange to reclaim it again, knowing the weight of his disability, and just his body in general would drag him down. He was furious something had ruined the chance of him connecting with his wolf again, but he couldn’t let himself dwell on that now. Something was happening and they needed his help.
His father must have sensed his spirit near. Drawing his eyes away from the direction of the house, he refocused his attention on Blake’s body and restarted his song, moving around his son’s body and dropping more herbs into the flames of the still lit candles.
Blake lay back down into his body. He closed his eyes and darkness swallowed him. Instantly, his body grew heavier, and he became aware of the coolness of the ground below him, his solidity and gravity pressing him against it. He tried to wiggle his toes, and nothing happened.
He was back.
Blake opened his eyes and pushed himself to sitting. His father looked down anxiously at him.
“What’s happened?” Blake asked. “I heard bangs and shouting.”
“There were gunshots back at the house. We need to go now!”
“Shit!” He reached up toward his father. “Help me up.”
Lakota got Blake’s arm around his neck, and together with Blake’s help, hauled him back into the chair. Moving as quickly as they could, Lakota pushed Blake, while Blake worked the wheels and they headed back to the house.
No new vehicles were parked outside—nothing to suggest Autumn, Chogan, and the others had returned.
“Quick, inside the house,” Blake said.
They went up the ramp and into the property. There were no sounds of a struggle. They stopped to find Wenona, Madison, and Billy all standing in the hallway. Madison had her arms wrapped around Billy, holding him against the front of her body. Wenona held a shotgun just as tightly. They all stood, staring at the basement door. Part of the wood in the center of the door had splintered from the inside, and, closer to the top, a couple of large bullet holes had punched through.
“Jesus,” said Blake. “What the hell happened?”
Wenona turned to him, still brandishing the gun. “A.J. must have found something to try to break down the door. Something heavy. He started bashing against the inside of the door and when the wood started to give, I yelled at him to stop or I’d shoot. He didn’t, so I did.”
“Is he dead?”
“Well, he’s gone quiet. But honestly, I have no idea.”
“Shit.” He rolled himself to the door, and banged on it with his fist. “Hey, A.J. You still alive in there?”
No response came back. Blake wished he still had use of his wolf guide. He would have been able to use it now to see what was going on beyond the door. He glanced down to where Madison held her son.
“Get him out of here. We don’t know what we’re going to find.”
She nodded and guided them both out of the house.
Blake glanced between Wenona and Lakota. One of them would need to open the door, while the other checked inside. He wanted to be the one to do it, but the fact was, he simply wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough.
“Wenona, pass me the rifle. I’ll cover you and my father while you check inside.”
“Okay,” she said, handing him the gun. “You know how to use it?”
“Of course.”
Lakota went to the door, Wenona positioned beside him. He turned the key and the lock clicked open, and he slowly edged open the door.
Nothing happened.
Lakota glanced back, and edged it open farther. The blackness beyond greeted them, together with silence. Perhaps Wenona had killed him after all?
“I don’t know ...” she started.