Avenged (The Altered Series) (7 page)

Maybe she needed to give him a break. It wasn’t like he wanted to be here, either.

“Are you decent?”she asked.

“Hardly ever. Most of the time I’m incredible.”

A grin tugged at her lips as she turned. “Funny.” But the grin slipped when she caught sight of him.

Nick Degrassi, wet from the shower, was gorgeous.

She knew she shouldn’t think that, but it was exhausting to pretend she didn’t notice. Besides, she’d spent her whole life pretending she felt things she didn’t, and ignoring things she did. She could stop that, with her parents gone. Her father wasn’t here to preach about how carnal love was wrong, and her mother wasn’t here to nod along solemnly.

More importantly, no one could hear her thoughts. She could think however she wanted to think. And she thought Nick was one sexy man.

He ran his hand over his dark hair. She knew it was thick, but slick with water it looked glossy, too. There were his big brown eyes, the stubborn jaw, and his lips—sweet heavens, his lips.

“You have to stop,” he whispered. “You have to stop looking at me like that. I can’t, Kit. It’s hard enough.”

Kitty dragged her gaze from him and felt the fire in her cheeks. No, no one could hear her thoughts. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t still obvious. She closed her eyes, wishing she could melt down the drain with the rest of his shower water.

He didn’t say anything for a long minute. After they’d stood in silence for a while, he took her hand. She forced herself to look at him, even as embarrassment lit her like a torch.

She wasn’t sure what she expected to find in his face. After she’d rebuffed him in the woods, he could have thrown it back in her face. But she didn’t find mockery or arrogance.

He only looked sober.

“I don’t believe for a second that you want anything to do with me. Not like that.” He stared over the top of her head for a minute. “At least, not now.” His eyes returned to hers. “But looking like you’d like to lick me doesn’t help me think ‘platonic.’”

Oh, sweet heavens. So, he
had
known what she was thinking. And he was right. That wasn’t fair. She had no idea where these thoughts were coming from. Three days ago, she thought she disliked him. Now, she knew she liked how he looked, but she didn’t know him and he didn’t really know her.

If Kitty had to be honest with herself, what she knew about him wasn’t that bad. He’d come for her. She’d listened to enough of his thoughts to know he wanted her safe, and he had her best intentions in mind. He was the kind of person who looked after others, and she didn’t know a lot of people like that. But she wasn’t sure she trusted that part of him, either. Her father had preached his need to watch over her, and he’d smothered her.

And Nick had the same…swagger that Jeremy had. The same arrogance about him, like it was only a matter of time before she came around. Maybe every attractive guy had that.

After Jeremy, she didn’t trust her judgment of men. Until she did, it would be best for both of them if they pretended none of this was even in the room with them.

“Truce.” She held out her hand. “I’ll not do that and you not do…well, that.” She used her hands to motion to his entire body. Her ears felt hot with embarrassment.

She really needed to stop talking.

“Um, okay.” His brow furrowed, as if she didn’t make any sense. Which was complete fact. “Sure. Yeah. Let’s try that.”

She tugged her hand out of his clasp. She sat on the cot he hadn’t used, determined to put some space between them. “Right.”

As she flopped down, he stared at her. Obviously he had no idea what was going on, and she couldn’t blame him. She didn’t know, either. Finally, he sighed. “You should shower.”

“Right.”

He turned, facing the wall.

Quickly, she stripped out of her jumpsuit. In a ritual perfected by months of similar showering, she hustled through the movements of cleaning herself with quick, brisk strokes, hurried forward by icy water and Nick’s presence across the room.

Flicking the water off, she wringed out her hair the best she could and swiped as much of the excess water off her skin as possible. She wiggled into her clean jumpsuit, a task complicated by her wet body.

When she finished snapping the buttons, Nick turned.

“Hey. I didn’t say I was done.”

“Sorry. I was counting every snap.” He folded his arms over his chest. “So, you said that they come for the laundry every other day?”

“Yes. At least, they did.”

“Any other interactions with them?” He studied the room again, his brow creased. “Any other times people came to see you?”

“Only if they needed blood or to take me off for some new study.”

He nodded, his mouth thinning. “The laundry delivery is our best chance.”

“Best chance?” Clean linens were nice, but…

“To escape. We’ll have to escape when they come for the laundry.”

“How?” Because even if they got past the laundry guys, they still had to get out of the compound.

“I don’t know.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “But we’ll think of something. This place is rundown. There have to be cracks in the armor.”

She hated to point out how hard it would be for them, with no powers, to get past a bunch of changed soldiers, condition of the facility aside. Which led her to…

“I need your help.” She paused. “Unless you’re busy. Because I can ask again later. When you’re free.”

He cracked a small, self-effacing smile. Even with his bruises, it made him look less exhausted. A little less, anyway. “I might have some spare time.”

“I want to learn to fight.”

She waited. Finally, he laughed. “You want to learn to fight? You don’t strike me as the ‘fighting’ sort.” He looked her over.

She knew what he saw. She was small, weak. But with his help, maybe she didn’t have to be weak. Maybe she could be strong.

If they were going to try to escape, she needed to be ready. “I can hear people’s thoughts.”

His brows dropped. He was mastering the art of looking at her like she was nuts. “I know.”

“So, I can hear what my opponents are about to do, a split second before they do it.” When he still didn’t seem to get it, she lifted her eyebrows. “They give their next moves away. If I can learn to stay a step ahead… If I’m stronger, well, maybe I can have a chance in a fight for once.”

“I see.” His face had closed up, though. He didn’t like the idea. She didn’t need her gift to know that.

“We need to get out of here.”

“I know that. You don’t think I know that?”

“Well, I don’t know
how
we’re going to get out, but when the time comes, I want to be ready.” She crossed her arms over her chest, the damp jumpsuit still sticking to her skin. “I don’t want to be a liability anymore.”

“You aren’t a liability.”

She glared at him. This would be easier if they didn’t pretend. She was sick of pretending. “Come on. You have other plans? Busy?”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “All right, fine. I’ll teach you to fight. At least if I do it, I can give you the dirty tricks.” She cocked her head, questioning, and he answered. “Because you’re small. When you’re small, you need to fight dirty to win.”

Made sense, even though it didn’t sit well in her stomach. There was none of the “turn the other cheek” thinking of her childhood in that. But there wasn’t much room for that sentiment in her life now anyway.

“We’ll start in the morning.” He sighed. “In the meantime, I’ll try to figure out how to deal with the laundry guys.”

He was right. Tomorrow would be soon enough. He needed some rest. “Let’s get our beds together.”

As they worked in silence, she had to admit how much nicer it was to not be here alone.

Tomorrow, she’d take her first step in learning how to defend herself. When she laid her head on her mattress, she smiled. For the first time in a long time, she was looking forward to something.

They were going to find a way out of here. She knew it.

Chapter Eight

Luke’s feet ate up the pavement as he ran through the streets of Cancun. As he plunged deeper into the heart of the city, the alleys and pathways became seedier. Trash littered the sidewalks, and the haze of poverty lingered over the people he passed.

A year ago, he wouldn’t have considered running in a place like this. Now he knew he was the most dangerous thing here.

Frequently, he pulled the disposable phone from his pocket, checking the signal. When he finally had a respectable number of bars, he slowed his pace. He walked in circles, catching his breath. When his gasps became less labored, he dialed out.

There were a series of clicks and buzzes before his call connected.

“Hello?”

Luke smiled. “Hi, Blue. It’s me, Luke.” She’d sent him an email a couple months ago, giving him a phone number to call, if he ever wanted to contact her. The email had been short and terse, full of her admonishments without saying a word. He knew she didn’t understand why he’d had to leave them behind in San Antonio. She was still pissed about it, he was sure. But even though he wasn’t ready to explain it all, he was glad she’d reached out anyway.

“Luke!” He could almost feel her relief across the line. “My God, it’s good to hear from you. Are you okay?” A shout in the background. Seth. They were both there. They were okay.

“I’m fine. So is Jack.” He smiled, genuinely happy to hear her voice. He’d always liked Blue. He leaned on the side of a rundown building to stretch his calf. “We’re in Cancun. How are you?”

“Christ, Luke. Three months and ‘how are you?’ is the best you can manage?”

He chuckled. Same old Blue. “I know. I should have called sooner. Things are…complicated.”

“No shit, Luke.”

He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. Parker Sinclair found us. You remember Parker, right?”

“Of course.” She paused. “He found you?”

“Yes. He’s been staying with us.”

“He has?”

“He’s like Kitty…and like you.”

The phone muffled, and he heard her mumble something to Seth. She must have been filling him in. “Both? That’s not possible. Is it?”

“I’ve been reading up about the drug. Parker had a lot of research about it. He spent time with Fields, Blue. He knows about Solvimine.” Luke brushed his sweaty hair off his forehead before putting his free hand on his hip and staring at the sky. “I know a lot about it, too.”

There was silence. “What do you know?”

“There’s no cure, Blue.” He exhaled. “There’s no going back.”

He could hear Seth in the background, his voice full of concern even if Luke couldn’t make out the exact words. “You’re sure?”

“I’m almost positive. The only option is if they create something with the opposite effect that would close brain pathways.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s dangerous to even consider. How would they know which pathways? What sort of damage would that do?” It seemed insurmountable.

“Fields has turned more people,” she said softly. The effects of her words were like a cymbal crash in his skull. “Soldiers, employed by Goldstone. He turned them, at least five, but we think more.”

“How do you know?”

“Nick. He went to get Kitty. Seth and I…we aren’t exactly welcome with the military.” When she didn’t expound
,
Luke figured there was a story there. He’d have to find out some time.

“Anyway, Nick went in with some other special ops guys. Apparently, he escaped with her, but the soldiers found them. Because they’re like us.” Her voice lowered. “They didn’t have a chance.”

“So Nick is with Kitty? They’re with Goldstone?”

“Yes.” She paused. “We’re leaving in the morning. To go to the Army, to offer our services.”

Luke swallowed hard. They were going to help, and he was here, in Cancun, pretending to be on vacation when he knew he should be with them.

“You should come with us,” she offered, as if she knew what he was thinking. “We’re going to meet Major Martins at Fort Bragg. You and Jack…you should come.”

“It’s complicated, Blue.”

“I know, Luke. But we could use your help. Kitty could use your help. And, if Fields is changing people, making more like us…well, I don’t know what is going to happen.”

“Yeah,” he allowed. “I’ll talk to Jack. See what I can do.”

“You do that. I’ll have this phone. Call us.”

“Okay. I will.”

“And Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful.” Only Blue knew how to make a worried reminder into a demand. “And come. If you can.”

“I will.” He disconnected the call and stared at the phone. He was sure she had no idea how hard what she was asking would be.

…

“Keep your elbows in, Kitty,” Nick reminded her again. “The weight should be on the outside of your feet. Not your toes. Remember, half of a battle is psychological. You need to look confident and be ready.”

She nodded, but her jaw tightened. She readjusted her stance, her face a mask of determination.

He moved his arm, as if he was going to punch her. She dodged it even before he moved, then her palm shot up, in a perfectly placed face attack. She kept her elbow high, though, and moved through to what would have been a perfect elbow to nose connection, if she’d intended to hurt him.

“Good.” He straightened. “Much better.”

She beamed in response to his praise, and he smiled back at her, though he knew it might seem wooden.

They’d been at this all day. He’d shot off his cot when the slider at the bottom of their door had opened and two meal trays were slid inside. The movement had stirred pain in every bruise and cut he had. Talk about rude awakening.

Not that he’d been sleeping long. He’d had the hardest time falling asleep. Not only did his face and his ribs hurt, but it was difficult to relax with Kitty breathing across the room. When he did finally sleep, it had been light, fitful.

Now, he’d spent the day answering her questions. He’d focused on self-defense, on personal safety. She’d continued to direct their conversations to what he considered to be combat inquiries. It was different. In combat, personal safety was second to meeting an objective, while in self-defense, personal safety
was
the objective.

He wanted her to focus on her safety. If there was danger, he wanted her to think about getting away, not engaging. Yet, they kept coming back to combat strategies. It was maddening.

“Remember. You’re not big.”

She tilted her head, grinning at him. “I’m not? You don’t say.”

He ignored her snark. “One punch from a bigger guy will do serious damage, if not destroy you. So you have to make your blows count, and then get away.”

“Right. Vicious.”

“Not just vicious. Dirty. There is no fair fight if someone is trying to hurt you. There’s only survival.”

“Right.” She nodded solemnly. “Do or do not. There is no try,” she said in her best Yoda voice.

He glared at her. “You think this is a joke.” Her smile fell at his snapped reprimand. He should have apologized, but he was exhausted and stressed out, aroused and stir-crazy. After hours of being at this, of being so close to her, wanting to touch her…he lost his cool.

“You cannot get cocky, do you understand me? The guys who are chasing you are bigger than you. They are trying to contain you, to bring you in, but they’re trained to kill. Faced with one of them, you should haul ass. Run as fast as you can.” He ran his hand over his hair and then along his jaw. Even imagining her running for her life sat like a rock in his stomach. “I don’t know if I should even be teaching you this. At least if you’re afraid, you’ll try to get away. I’m afraid of what sort of foolish shit you’ll do if you get overly confident.”

She put her hands on her hips. The color lifted in her cheeks, and her eyes narrowed. Every muscle in her body was tense. He’d never seen her angry, but he imagined this might be it. “You think I’m an idiot.”

Good Lord. That’s not what he said. Hadn’t she been listening? “Absolutely not.”

“You do.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You said I’d act foolishly, that I’d do something irrational. That I won’t make good decisions. That I’d be an idiot.”

“I never said you don’t make good decisions.”How did she get that out of what he said?

“I’ve never been able to make my own decisions. My parents didn’t let me, and after that I was changed, and I trusted Jeremy and got sent here. So, I might not be good at it.” She swallowed hard. “But I want to be able to make my own decisions. You don’t think I know that I’m small? You don’t think I know that I don’t have much of a chance against those bigger, stronger guys?” She snorted with a half laugh. “I’m a smart girl, Nick. I get it. But I’m sick of being a victim. I’m sick of lying down and letting everyone take advantage of me. When we figure out how to get out of here, I want to be ready. I want to be strong.”

“You don’t think you’re strong?” It was as if she didn’t see herself at all. “You hear people’s thoughts. You listen to everyone’s messed-up baggage, and you haven’t lost your mind. I can barely deal with my own hang-ups, let alone everyone else’s. In spite of that, you still manage to care about people. Like me. You don’t even like me, and yet you watched over me while I was tranked, worrying that I was dead. And that mountain lion. You didn’t want me to hurt her. You see the horrible stuff in everyone, and yet you still think there’s enough in us to protect. That’s the strongest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You think I’m strong.” Shock colored her voice.

She could be so dense sometimes, especially for someone who could hear everything. He snorted, flopping down on the cot. “Hell yeah. There are other ways to be strong besides having huge muscles.” He stared at his hands. “Like my mom. She had breast cancer, was diagnosed when I was fourteen. She had six kids, from age six to me, and we were terrified. Even my youngest sister knew what cancer was. My mom, she’s the rock in our family. We revolve around her. Even when she was sick and probably frightened, she refused to give up.” Thoughts of his mom always made him smile. “I hope I’m as strong as her someday.”

He hadn’t been home in nine long months. He should have gone back. He’d had leave from the army, but it had been expensive to fly from San Antonio to New York, and he’d been trying to save money. He should have spent the money on the plane ticket, no matter how strapped it made him. Who knew when he’d get back to them again?

He had to figure out how to get Kitty and himself out. The longer they were here, the more airtight the security measures to keep them would become. They had to solve this fast. But he’d spent all morning running scenarios. So far he’d found nothing.

“Your mom had breast cancer?” Her eyes widened, infinitely soft and worried. “Is she…okay?” She joined him, sinking down on the cot, her body turned to face him.

She had been angry at him a moment ago, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Her ability to open her heart…it was not common, and he found it irresistible.

He nodded. “She had a hard fight. Lost her hair. Got really sick. I’ve never seen someone fight anything with as much determination and strength as my mom.”

She reached out to him, her hand covering his. Against his skin, her fingers were pale and thin. She squeezed. “She sounds amazing. Maybe you’ll introduce me some day.”

“I would love to. And she would love you.” He knew that with absolute certainty. He’d never met anyone who was a better judge of character than his mom
.
His mother would see exactly what was inside of Kitty.

Before Nick could react, Kitty leaned forward and folded him into her arms. She wasn’t much to hold, especially because he was so big, but it was a huge hug.

Kitty poured her entire self into her hugs.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her against him. But even as he was enjoying having her in his arms, he knew that on her end, this was only a friendly hug, meant to soothe him. While he appreciated the comfort she offered, it was tangled up with how much he was starting to want her. Her comfort, her smile, her fears, her strength, and her body.

So while she was offering him her friendship, he wanted to climb inside her.

That thought made him stand up.

Hurt flashed through her eyes. That made him feel even worse.

This had to stop.

“Christ, Kitty, I’m sorry. What can I do here? This is confusing.” He paced in front of her. “Listen, you hugged me because you think we’re friends and in your mind you’re comforting a friend.”

She stiffened. “You don’t want us to be friends?” If he thought she looked hurt before, the pain that passed over her face destroyed him.

“Oh God. Yes. I do want us to be friends.” He sat back down next to her and pulled her hands into his. “I want us to be friends. But when you’re this close, I also want to hold you. Not like a hug, but really hold you.” He paused to let that imagery roll through their heads, of her in his arms, their bodies pressed together, his mouth on her face…on all of her. A blush stained her cheeks. She got it, then. “I want to kiss your smiles and your frowns. It ate me up inside, thinking of you trapped by Goldstone alone, but this…whatever is going on here…is more than that.”

Her eyes widened, and he probably should have stopped but he figured it was best to get it out. Making an ass of himself was obviously one of his latent talents.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be. But please…” He squeezed her fingers. “Please don’t hug me like we’re only buddies, or like I’m your brother. Because you need to know that while you’re doing that, I’m sitting here wanting you.” He made himself let go of her hand.

She stared at him, her eyes wide and fathomless. God, did she ever not look good? Not to him, anyway, it seemed.

He was an asshole, unloading on her. How he felt was his problem. He needed to get a grip.

“Listen. I’m sorry. That’s not fair. Please forgive me. This is hard.” He waited for her to nod before he continued, scooting over a foot or so for some much-needed distance.

Finally, he inhaled a calming breath. “I’ll help you do whatever you want. I’ll teach you whatever you want. You’re right. If you want to learn how to defend yourself, you should have that chance. God knows, we’re in enough danger.” He ran his hand over his hair. “Promise me one thing, though, please.”