Autumn's Hope (Cowboy Seasons) (13 page)

The
front door opened and Bob strutted in. “Morning, Dee Ann sent me to make sure
you got some breakfast.”

The
smile on his face made her uncomfortable. She grabbed the couch pillow and put
it in front of her stomach. “That was nice of her.”

“Actually,
it’s nice of me.” He stared at her waiting for an answer.

“Yes,
of course.”

Bob
gave her a clipped nod and headed into the kitchen. If Jonas trusted him, she
should too, but there was something slimy about him.

“Toast
and tea is almost ready. You know you look like you need more sleep. If you
want I can tuck you in.”

She
cringed, glad that he had his back to her. “I’ll be fine.”

He
carried a plate of toast, burnt around the edges and a cup of tea to the table.
“So, you have no pa for the young un?”

Her
mouth dropped open. “Why?”

“Just
not right is all. Are you going to eat or what?”

His
strange behavior disturbed her. “Yes, I am. Thank you.”

He
gave her a long piercing stare then nodded. “Okay then.” He turned on his boot
heel and left.

She
glanced at the burnt toast and tea, letting out a sigh. Regular tea with caffeine.
She wanted it but got up and carried it all back to the kitchen. She made
herself some new toast and slathered it with peanut butter and then made
herself a cup of herbal tea.

She
sat at the kitchen table for a change and the normalcy of it made her relax.
Richard hadn’t been by. The restaurant was hopping every night and with Dee Ann
here to cook dinner it gave him more free time. It was hard to imagine the
energetic vibe at the restaurant when she was weary.

She
finished breakfast and put her dishes in the sink. Her book was calling.
Grabbing it and a sweater, she headed outside to the front porch. Too bad if anyone
disapproved. It was easier for her to relax outside. The color of the leaves
grew more vibrant with each day. It would be Halloween soon. She smiled. She’d
make a great pumpkin this year. Next year she’d have her child to celebrate
with.

A
serene feeling washed over her and she relished the moment. Her heart and soul
were peaceful. A much needed change.

She
was floating in a wave of happiness. Someone was stroking her legs and her
body. When was the last time she’d been so relaxed? She woke up with a start.
“What?”

“It’s
okay, Fall, it’s me.” Jonas’ voice reassured her.

She
tried to move.

“Stay
still for me. This is the best I’ve felt in days.”

“What
about your leg? Surely my legs on your lap must hurt.”

“My
good leg is taking the weight. The baby has been moving tons.”

She
peeked at his handsome face through the fringe of her eyelashes. He glowed with
contentment and maybe happiness. “I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

“I
know. I’ve been making a racket with my dreams and my leg pain. I’ve tried to
be as quiet as possible. Every time I move Dee Ann is there and thankfully my
leg feels almost normal again. Well, normal for me. She helped it to heal
faster than normal.” He stroked her stomach, sending shivers through her. “I’ve
been worried about you and when I saw you finally sleeping I guess I couldn’t
help myself.”

“I’m
glad your leg is getting better. Oh! Did you feel that?”

Jonas
grinned and nodded. “A little cowboy in there. You must be so excited. Promise
you’ll let me play uncle to the child?”

She
wanted more from him than he was willing to give. Her heart squeezed as she gave
him a brave smile. “Of course, I want you to be a part of her life.”

“This
is nice isn’t it, love? Enjoying the day together is what I’ve needed.”

Autumn
laughed. “I’ve been awake for all of five minutes. That hardly constitutes a
day. How long have you been sitting here with me?”

“Not
that long.” His face grew red.

“Really,
how long?”

“At
least an hour. Dee Ann went to meet with Holden, and Mel dug through the closet
and found my cane. I hate the damn thing but at least I can walk by myself with
it.”

“An
hour?” Her eyes narrowed. “You’ve been touching me the whole time?”

“That
has been the most enjoyable part.” His eyes shone with merriment.

“Really?
I’m thinking there is a certain creep factor in your actions but it feels good.

“I’m
glad you like it in a creepy way.” He laughed.

“This
is nice, sitting here on the porch.”

“You
sound surprised. I come out here at night sometimes and dream about the
future.” He grinned. “Sometimes dreams do come true.”

“I
always had the white picket fence dream about my future. Of course a restaurant
was part of it but so were kids and a husband. I never imagined being a single
mom. Life can be bumpy.”

Jonas
reached over and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “That’s why I
admire you, love, you roll with the punches. Maybe the baby’s father will… Are
you sure you can’t pinpoint which guy is the dad?”

She
struggled to sit up but gravity had the better of her. Jonas wasn’t helping her
any and she stopped. She didn’t want to take the chance of hurting his leg.
Putting her head back on the soft pillow, she turned her face away from Jonas
and tried to catch her breath. She wished that she could have lied about the
father and said he was dead. One of her many faults, she couldn’t lie worth a
damn.

She
watched Myrtle romp around in the pasture. “She seems happy.”

Jonas
continued to rub her legs and belly. “Thanks to you, she cheered up after her
little game of keep away. She is going to make it.”

“What
happens to the horses that are saved?” It was too hard to look at him. His
touch was so gentle, almost loving, but his judgment hurt to the core.

“Usually
Colt O’Malley takes them and trains them. He gets them ready for their forever
homes.”

“Forever
homes?”

“Colt
finds them new homes with good owners. I guess you’ve seen the bad side of
horse owners but that’s the exception. Most are loving, responsible people. I’m
thinking about keeping Myrtle here. She likes you.”

Autumn
turned her head and stared at Jonas. He stared right back and his amber eyes
bore into her peering into her soul. A lump in her throat forced her to swallow
hard before speaking. “I’m not going to be here too much longer. Maybe you should
see if Myrtle likes Dee Ann?”

His
brow furrowed. “Why would I do that?”

“Jonas,
don’t play with me. I hate to admit it but I’m feeling too fragile inside for
lies.”

His
hands stopped moving and his eyes clouded in confusion. “I guess I’m missing
something. What’s this got to do with Dee Ann?”

“I’m
not stupid. I see how she looks at you. You two spend nights together and most
days. She’s the one for you. You both love horses…”

Jonas
took her hand in his work worn hand. “I’d laugh if you didn’t look so hurt,
love. It’s you, not Dee Ann.”

“I
don’t—”

“Just
listen to me for a minute. Dee Ann is a nice woman and yes we both love horses.
The nights have been better with her but it’s not what you think and you can
stop squeezing my hand so hard.” He smiled. “She does deep muscle massage and
it helps with the pain. It never occurred to me that you’d think. Oh hell is
that why you haven’t been sleeping?”

She
nodded, trying to make sense of his words. “You wouldn’t even let me help you.”

“Not
true, holding you that first night kept me from going insane.”

“You
let Dee Ann touch you.” The hurt in her voice echoed back to her.

Jonas
was quiet and she regretted her words of jealousy. The silence between them
stretched interminably. He stirred under her legs and she started to swing them
off his lap. His strong hand held her still.

“It
ain’t pretty and Dee Ann has seen worse. Love, I’m scarred and disfigured
beyond repair, inside and out I’m afraid. I’ve had women turn away from me in
disgust and if that happened with you, it would break me. I can see in your
eyes that you think you’d never be one of those women. Well they didn’t either
and it took me years to rebuild myself afterward. I worked on the house and
myself at the same time. The house I was able to make pleasing to look at. Me?
There is no fixing. What’s that saying? You can’t fix stupid and you can’t fix
ugly.”

“Jonas,
I would never.”

He
kissed her hand and smiled a sad, resigned smile. “I can’t take the chance.
Every fiber of my being wants to but I can’t. You are so sweet and beautiful
and I’d hate myself if I changed you.”

It
amazed her that her eyes stayed dry. Perhaps she was beyond tears. Her heart
ached for herself but it broke for Jonas. There would be no convincing him
otherwise. He’d been so brave to pour his heart out to her. He loved her, that
much she knew now.

Autumn
took a deep breath and tried to give him a sweet smile. “You’ll still be an
uncle to my baby?”

The
relief on his face rewarded her. “Of course, love, of course. I feel close to
you and if you don’t want me to touch you like this again, well I’d
understand.”

She
swung her feet off his lap and he helped her to sit up. Leaning over she kissed
his handsome face. “You bring me comfort when you hold me, Jonas.” She laid her
head on his hard shoulder, inhaling his spicy scent. Suddenly, she wasn’t as anxious
for her bed rest to end.

Later
that afternoon, Dee Ann came back. It had gotten cold and Jonas insisted that
they head inside. Dee Ann gave them an odd look then plopped down in one of the
chairs.

“How’d
it go?” Jonas asked. He sat next to Autumn, holding her hand.

Dee
Ann stared at their entwined fingers. “Holden thinks it’s a good idea but
unless I can prove a need for a nonprofit sanctuary I’d have to buy the land.”
She smiled at Jonas. “Maybe I can get some investors?”

Autumn
wanted to groan. Nothing like putting a friend on the spot. Jonas shifted next
to her. “Land isn’t cheap around here,” she said.

“Did
Holden have any suggestions as to how to prove the need?” Jonas asked.

“Technically
you guys are helping the horses but a sanctuary is best.” She jumped up and
grabbed her purse and a bag she walked in with. “Richard says hi. He said he’d
donate a portion of the restaurant profits. He’s a very generous man. I’ll put
the food on plates.”

Autumn
watched her walk away. She shook her head hoping that she heard wrong.

“You
look pale.” Jonas said.

“You
would too if your partner offered to give away profits. He doesn’t have the
legal rights to do it. I used my money to get the restaurant open. I feel sick,
Jonas.”

Jonas
pulled her close to his side. “You can call Richard in the morning. He’s
probably busy cooking at this time of night.”

She
drew in a shaky breath. “You’re right but I do need to talk to him. I want to
go over the books too. If he offered my money to Dee Ann, well I just don’t
know.”

Dee
Ann waltzed in with three plates and place settings. She went back and grabbed
a bottle of wine and three glasses. She poured Jonas a glass, bending over
enough to give him a view of her breasts. She glanced at Autumn. “Oops. I
forgot you can’t drink. Oh and I planned on this being a celebration. One
investor already and I know I can count on you too, Jonas.”

Jonas
took a swig of his wine and put the glass down. “I don’t have any liquid
assets. I have everything tied up into the ranch.”

Dee
Ann sat down. She tilted her head and batted her eyelashes. “You have prime
beef out there Jonas and more horses than you need.”

Autumn
stared at Dee Ann, astounded. What happened to the sweet woman she’d let stay in
her extra apartment? This was not the Dee Ann she knew. This woman was much
more aggressive.

“That’s
where you’re wrong, Dee Ann. I do have prime beef out there but they are
already sold and paid for. I run cattle to keep my horses fed. I’m not a rich man.”

Dee
Ann nodded and sipped her wine. “You could donate land.”

Jonas
coughed as though something went down the wrong way. “No can do.”

Dee
Ann started to open her mouth again but Autumn jumped in. “The food is great.
Richard makes magic.” She turned the bottle of wine around to see the label.
“Expensive wine. What store carries this?”

Dee
Ann smirked. “Richard gave it to me. He’s been very good to me. A true friend.”

Autumn
suddenly wanted to strangle Dee Ann. “He is generous.” She took deep slow
breaths, trying to keep her cool. She did not want to give Dee Ann the
satisfaction of knowing how upset she was. She couldn’t wait to talk to Richard
in the morning. He had explaining to do.

Chapter
Eight