Autumn Wish (4 page)

“Where’s Ella?”

“On the table.” He glanced back toward the dining room. “I came to grab a clean—”

“You can’t leave her alone!” She swept past him in the confined doorway.

The brush of her breasts against his forearm was instantly forgotten as a fresh wave of alarm shot through him. What had he done wrong? They reached the table to find the jabbering baby kicking her feet beneath the towel and wind-milling her arms. She appeared fine, but Nikki did not appear happy.

“Never leave her alone like that!” Reproach roughened her voice. “She could fall and get hurt.”

God, now he felt even worse for staring at her chest when the baby had been in danger. “I’m sorry. I don’t know these things,” he retorted defensively.

“All you have to do is use some common sense.”

“You said earlier she won’t break.” Guilt raised his voice.

“When you’re holding her, no,” she snapped. “Falling off a table is a whole other matter.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, as much to her as to Ella.

“Just...
think
next time, okay?”

Clenching his jaw against another defensive response, he nodded and stepped forward to lightly place his hand on Ella’s tummy for security. Nikki shoved the black T-shirt she was holding into his other hand and stalked back to the kitchen. Keeping a hold on Ella, he snuck a glance after Nikki, then couldn’t help but fully turn to observe her trim waist and the gentle swell of her hips until she disappeared again. She was one hell of a temptation.

Blowing out a breath, he turned back to the baby and took his hand off her for two seconds so he could pull on his clean shirt. The little girl kept kicking and waving those arms. He leaned forward, braced a hand on either side of her and looked down into her bright, blue eyes.

“I promise I won’t leave you alone like that again,” he whispered.

She made some sort of gurgling noise, then smiled up at him. His chest tightened, and a lump formed in his throat. Her well-being rested square on his shoulders. It scared the shit out of him, and at the same time, a fierce protectiveness rose up inside him to keep her safe from harm.

The sound of the dryer door closing made him straighten and clear his throat. He reached for the new diaper and uncovered the baby’s bottom half. When Nikki’s footsteps tread behind him, he prayed for his voice to sound normal as he asked, “Am I doing this right?”

“Yeah.” She stood to the side, then moved in close as he secured the sticky tabs. Her reach forward brushed her fingers against his, and he pulled away from an instant surge of attraction. She looked damn good in his large, navy T-shirt—would look even better if that’s all she was wearing—but it was definitely not the time for that distraction.

She redid the sticky tabs. “Snug them up so the diaper doesn’t fall off, but not too tight. You should be able to slip one finger here along the waistband.”

He nodded at her demonstration. “Got it. Thanks.”

Ella needed to be his main focus, especially since Nikki had no problem putting the baby first. Was it a woman thing? Natural mothering instinct? Experience from her job?

“We should get her dressed,” Nikki suggested. “Maybe she’ll take a nap while we go over a few other things you’ll need to know.”

“Let me guess. When you say
we
should get her dressed, you really mean
me
.”

“You catch on quick.”

Their shared smile gave him that gut-level kick of awareness again. Crap. Thankfully, she swiped the diaper bag from the table and went into the kitchen while he figured out the puzzle of getting the kicking, wiggling infant into her one-piece outfit.

By the time he managed to keep both arms and legs in the right place long enough to slide the zipper toward her chin, Nikki had finished whatever she was doing in his kitchen. She plopped a pad of paper and pen onto the table, then sat and began writing.

He picked Ella up and cradled her like a football again. She settled into his hold without complaint, her eyelids drooping. He rocked her while walking around the table, and she closed her eyes. A surge of satisfaction warmed his insides. One step at a time, and he might be okay.

They
might be okay—at least until Rae came back.

On the next time around, a glance over Nikki’s shoulder brought him to a stop. “What’s that?”

“Your shopping list for tomorrow.”

He leaned closer, his gaze skimming the list that took up half the page.
Diapers, wipes, formula, blankets, onesies, jacket, mittens, baby shampoo, baby lotion, baby power, bathmat, thermometer, pacifiers, bottles, bottle brush...
and she was still writing.

Satisfaction suffocated as reality made him forget how to breathe.

He was solely responsible for this little human being in his arms because he had no idea when Rae would return. Would she change her mind and come back tonight? Tomorrow? Next week? And what the hell was he going to do about
work?
Clueless as he was, even he knew he couldn’t very well bring a baby to a construction site.

Apprehension swelled like a tsunami. The words on the page blurred. He swallowed hard, then sucked in some air with a desperate gulp.

One step at a time.

One step at a time.

One step...at...a...time.

“Sam? Are you okay?”

Nikki’s question sounded as if she were all the way across the room. He nodded. Thought better of it and shook his head no. Felt like an idiot, and went back to nodding.

Breathe, man, breathe
.

She pushed to her feet and took the baby from his arms, then pulled him by his arm around to the front of the couch.

“Sit down before you pass out. Put your head between your knees.”

Once off his feet, the lightheadedness faded and the constriction in his chest eased enough for him to get air into his lungs. He sat up just enough to brace his elbows on his knees and run his hands through his hair. Nikki had put Ella in her carrier and now sat beside him, rubbing her hand on his back.

“You can do this.” Her reassuring voice and comforting touch gave him something to focus on, but the moment the heat from her leg began to seep through his jeans, he got to his feet and headed for the table to pick up the list.

“I know it seems like a lot,” she said as she also rose. “But it’s better to get it over with all at once.”

“Sure, right,” he muttered, annoyed by his pansy reaction. He rescanned the items with a frown. “How much is all this going to cost?”

“Enough. It adds up fast. Is money an issue?”

“I have some savings.” But not much after coming up with the down payment for the house last week.

“If you want to wait until I get home from work, I’ll go with you if you’d like?”

He glanced up from the list in his hand without lifting his head. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Thanks. I’d appreciate the help.” More like pity, but he’d take whatever he could get.

She joined him at the table as he spotted an unsealed envelope that had been beneath the pad of paper. When he started to reach out his hand, Nikki lunged forward and grabbed it first. Holding it behind her back, she backed away. The expression on her face made his eyes narrow in suspicion.

“What is that?”

“Something I don’t think you should see just yet.”

“You looked at it already?”

A hint of guilt flickered in her expression, but she didn’t apologize. “I found it at the bottom of the diaper bag when I emptied it out in the kitchen to see everything you’d need to buy.”

“Then let me see it.”

“After your reaction to a shopping list, it might be better if you give this a day or two. I’d probably have to revive you after you read this one.”

He shrugged to make light of his earlier embarrassment. “I’m not opposed to mouth to mouth resuscitation.”

Her gaze dropped to his lips. He couldn’t help but smile, and color flooded her face. Her gaze jumped back to his when he moved toward her, and the widening of her long lashes exasperated him enough that he stalked forward, hand outstretched.

“Oh, for God’s sake, I’m not going to touch you
or
pass out. Just give me the damn envelope.”

Backed up against the window counter between his living room and kitchen, she handed it over without further argument. Curiosity made him pause. He flicked his gaze down to her mouth, let it linger long enough to notice her breath hitch, then lifted his attention back to her eyes. Sensual awareness simmered in those blue depths, making him wish he could lean in and kiss her right now.

Instead, he removed the paper and unfolded it before lowering his gaze from hers to the typed document.

He read from top to bottom, but once he saw his name, and words like
affidavit
and
guardianship
, nothing else registered. He backed up and braced his butt against the edge of the dining room table to read it again.

Nikki didn’t say anything as he succeeded in processing the full contents of the letter the second time around. Rae hadn’t dropped off Ella on a whim. She’d thought this thing through enough to fill out an official document giving him full custody, including all medical and schooling decisions in the future.

He didn’t know why she’d left her daughter, but the paper in his hands made it pretty clear she wouldn’t be back tomorrow. Or next month. Maybe never.

“You okay?”

Sam swallowed past the regret clogging his throat and the incredible responsibility that’d been dumped on his shoulders without a hint of warning. “Yeah.”

His voice cracked, forcing him to clear his throat while folding the letter to shove it back in the envelope. He avoided Nikki’s gaze as he straightened.

“What time will you be home from work tomorrow?”

“About five o’clock. We can run to a couple stores in Green Bay.”

Pity softened her voice, which only strengthened his resolve to start handling the situation like a man no matter how queasy he felt on the inside.

“You mentioned earlier about feeding her before you came over. Can you show me what I need to know about that?”

“Sure. I made up the two empty bottles your sister left, but you’ll need to know how to mix the formula after those are gone.”

He followed her into the kitchen and slipped the envelope into one of his empty drawers. “And can I get the name of where you work? I’ll need someplace to take her while I’m working.”

She paused with the refrigerator door open. “We’re at full capacity, but there are a couple other places I could recommend. I’ll write them down before I leave.”

“Thanks.”

Figured, since she was the one person he’d trust to take care of his niece at the moment. But with her suggestions, hopefully he’d have care lined up by tomorrow and be back to work by Wednesday. He had barely three months under his belt at Hansen Construction, and couldn’t really afford one day off, let alone enough time to sort out this mess.

While Ella slept in her carrier, Sam took notes on how to feed and burp her, and anything else Nikki shared with him. There were a lot of tips and warnings, and sheer determination kept the looming apprehension at bay.

She gave him her cell phone number, her sister’s cell phone number—not that he’d call a complete stranger—and then he watched her walk back to her own house from his front porch, feeling like he’d just lost his lifeline in a new game of Survivor.

Chapter 5

Nikki dashed through the cold rain from her car to her sister’s front door. Two of the parents had picked up their children after a half day, so she’d been able to leave early and hoped to borrow some of Marissa and Eric’s larger baby items before taking Sam shopping.

Marissa answered the door, but didn’t bother to say more than “Hey,” as she turned back toward the kitchen. “I didn’t think I’d see you until Friday afternoon for the party.”

“I need to see if I can borrow a few things from you.”

“Sure, as long as you don’t need them right now, or can find ’em yourself.” Her sister gave her an apologetic look as she closed the dishwasher and grabbed the dishrag from the sink. “Eric took the kids to the library, and I’m leaving for my book club at the coffee shop in a few minutes. Shouldn’t you be at work anyway?”

Nikki leaned her elbows on the higher level of the counter that separated the open space between the kitchen and the cathedral ceiling living room of the log home Eric had built. “Early day, and besides, it’s been weird there lately, so I was glad to get out. A lot of tension and closed door meetings between Claire and Ron.”

“Did Mallory say anything about what’s going on?”

“She doesn’t have a clue either, and all the secrecy has everyone walking on eggshells.”

“She’d tell you if she knew, wouldn’t she?”

“I think so.”

Nikki had met Mallory Parker the first day of community college, and they’d been friends ever since. She’d started working at Sunny Days Daycare right out of high school, been promoted to manager after they’d graduated, and hired Nikki the next day.

“Well, hopefully it’s nothing,” Marissa said. “And I’m sorry to rush you, but I’m going to have to go in a few minutes, so what do you need to borrow?”

After a moment of hesitation, she decided to jump right in. “I finally met my neighbor last night.”

Marissa’s eyes lit as she glanced up from wiping the counter. “Yeah? Did you take him a cake? Are you here for lingerie?”

She laughed. “Oh, God no, on the cake and the lingerie. I brought him a baby.”

“A baby what?”

“A
baby
. Like Savannah, only about eight months younger.”

Her sister braced both hands on the counter, eyes narrowed as if trying to gauge if Nikki was pulling her leg or telling the truth. Apparently, she decided the latter, because she tossed the dishrag into the sink and pointed to the kitchen table. “Screw book club. You’re
so
going to explain that one.”

“You got some hot chocolate?”

“Always.” Marissa reached up into the cupboard. “Now start talking.”