Autumn (12 page)

Susan also said that there was a growing concern over where Logan was, but I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to find Logan.

Since nothing had been done, I was forced to wait. I was told that there were a million places he could be. There were lots of Fairy Courts around the country, and he had a lot of friends who were normal humans that he could have gone and stayed with. He wasn’t worried about school because of the whole Fairy thing, and he wasn’t worried about money because he had his own trust fund. Basically, he wasn’t going to be found until he wanted to be found, whenever that was.

All this was contributing to my being in a perpetually terrible mood. I finally managed to snap out of it a little when my mom yelled at me for being unpleasant all the time.

She said, in effect, “I know you’re a teenager, but this is getting ridiculous.”

At first I had ignored her pleas, but after a while I realized that it wasn’t fair to her. She was caught in all this too, whether she knew it or not. After that, I made an effort to be a little more pleasant to her.

I even got to spend a fun evening with Nick. I didn’t usually work on Sundays, instead reserving that day for hanging out at home and doing homework. But I hadn’t had much homework that week and UP UP and Away had been desperate to cover a shift, so I had gone in. My mom had gone to a friend’s house for tea, which forced me to walk home. I still walked a lot, even remembering what had happened at the beginning of the summer. Since I didn’t have a car I really didn’t have a choice.

That night, when a car drove up behind me I was thrilled to see Nick. He rolled his window down and said, “I was just coming to your house to see if you wanted to hang out.”

I grinned. “Definitely, I had no homework this weekend.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m a little concerned that the teachers were so nice to us. I feel like it can’t last.”

I laughed and hopped in.

“Want to see a movie?” he asked.

Neither of us really cared what was playing, we just didn’t want to be alone or bored. I hadn’t been to a movie in a long time, ever since Carley, Nick, and I had seen “Friends with Benefits.” And we saw how well that turned out.

“You talk to Carley recently?” Nick asked, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

“We email a lot,” I said. “She’s planning a visit at some point.”

I could barely see Nick nod in the dim light of dusk.

“Have you talked to her?”

He shook his head. “She screens my calls. At least, I think she does. I don’t know why. Like, it’s such a big overreaction.”

I couldn’t really argue with him there.

“I mean, you guys don’t live in the same place,” I said, trying to be neutral. I was Switzerland and Sweden all rolled into one.

“So?” asked Nick. “It’s not like I want to be with anyone else.”

“Maybe you should.” I hadn’t meant to suggest that, but it was the truth. I loved Carley, but what she was doing to Nick was wrong. At least, I thought it was wrong and Nick deserved a girl who appreciate him.

The next day I was set to see Susan and Samuel. We had taken to meeting at UP UP and Away because it was so quiet on Mondays.

Samuel had been cold to me ever since the jabbing him in the chest incident, but I didn’t want Holt to suffer for my rudeness, so I knew I had to make it up to Samuel. Getting to UP UP and Away early, I made sure to order him a hot chocolate and have it waiting for him when he got there. Susan had just texted me to say she was going to be late, so I would have some time alone with him. I tried not to think about the last time we had been alone, when I had yelled at him for not telling me that the Supreme Council was going to decide whether or not Holt and I lived or died.

“Hi,” I said brightly as he came in.

Instantly his eyebrows went up. Brightness didn’t fit with my personality, at least not lately.

“What’s wrong?” he said. “What did I do?”

I shrugged. “What makes you think anything is wrong?” I asked, as innocently as possible.

“Lydia and Leslie have been avoiding you.”

I snorted into my own hot chocolate.

“Good,” I murmured.

“It’s not their job to help you out,” said Samuel.

His words hurt, but I tried not to show it. Lydia and Leslie had never been on my side and I knew what he meant. As far as the Winter Fairies were concerned I had picked Holt over Samuel and it was not something any of them, especially Mrs. Cheshire, were ever going to forgive me for.

“Here’s some chocolate,” I said, picking up the mug I had gotten for him and holding it out to make amends.

He took the mug but kept his eyebrows raised and sat down heavily. I noticed how tired he still looked.

“We have to talk,” he said. My heart squeezed. I had decided a long time ago that a guy saying “We have to talk” was never a good thing. They never wanted to talk about anything nice, like going to dinner or how good you looked the other day. No, it was always bad news when they said that.

“About what?” I asked suspiciously.

“My mother just remembered that you exist.”

“Like she ever forgot,” I muttered.

Samuel shrugged. “She was avoiding it.”

I wondered, not for the first time, how much Samuel and his mother were fighting over me. I had been relieved all summer that Samuel was on my side, or, at least on the side of his not giving me his Rose and marrying me any time soon. But I wondered at his continued insistence on standing by me, especially now. It would be so easy for him to simply give into his mother’s demands and hate me.

“So, what does she want?” I had a horrible feeling I already knew.

“She wants you to come and stand before the Supreme Council,” he said, pausing to take a sip of the hot liquid. “I’m pretty sure she isn’t going to be happy unless you’re miserable, so her goal is going to be to scare you. Don’t let her.”

I frowned. “I guess now’s not the time to say that she already has scared me?”

Samuel shook his head. “I know she has, and I understand why, but she feeds off other people’s pain. At least, in your case....” He paused and his eyes grew distant. Not for the first time I wondered if there was somehow a different side to Samuel’s mother besides the evil one I always saw.

“I know she just wants the best for you,” I said, reaching towards the arm he had resting on the table, holding his cup.

As my fingers slid over the cuff of his button down, his eyes went wide. He pulled away so fast that he spilled his drink all over the table. With a little gasp I pushed my chair back and rushed to get a cloth to wipe up the mess.

“Sorry,” he muttered when I got back. He took the cloth and started mopping the mess.

“My bad,” I said.

I watched him closely, wondering at his reaction. If I hadn’t known better I would have said that he reacted even more strongly to me than I did to him.

Could that explain why he was still on my side?

“Look,” he said, “I have to go, but come to my house on Friday night. My mom and the other Supremes will talk to you, and then everything will go on as it has been.”

I nodded. I hadn’t thought it could be much worse than it already was, but I definitely wasn’t looking forward to this next visit. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all.

The week dragged on. I had gotten used to my weeks going slowly: school, home, work, dinner, homework, bed had become a familiar pattern. It only changed when I saw Susan and Samuel. I enjoyed spending time with both of them and my lessons were always over more quickly than I expected. Even if my heart didn’t lift when I was on my way to see Samuel the way it did when I was on my way to see Holt, it was still a relief to be around someone I knew well and who knew me.

But the only time I really felt alive or happy was when I was about to go see Holt.

Finally I got to Friday, the night I was supposed to go over to the Cheshires’. All week I had been trying to decide if I was looking forward to this meeting or dreading it. I finally decided that it could be both. On the one hand, I had every intention of speaking my mind. This had gone on long enough; I didn’t know what the decision was waiting on, but it was almost October. On the other hand, Mrs. Cheshire was still the scariest thing I had ever come across.

It didn’t help that when I got to the house (my mom dropped me off on her way to book club; she had only been in town a month but she was already more involved in the town than I had ever been), the place was dark. I stood outside for a full minute, refusing to knock on the door until I saw a light somewhere.

Unfortunately it was now early October in Maine, and although none of the Maine fall could necessarily be characterized as warm, October nights were getting cold enough to make standing outside uncomfortable. Since I wasn’t with either Samuel or Susan I couldn’t take warmth from anything else, plus a part of me just felt like it was mean that I was left standing out here, rubbing my arms and shivering.

Finally the porch light came on. I took a step back, not wanting to meet the Winter Queen in the dark.

It was the first time since I had met Lydia Cheshire that I was remotely happy to see her. She stuck her black-haired head around the door and said, “You’re such an idiot.”

Well, the happiness was short-lived.

“What?” I demanded.

She rolled her eyes. “Just come in. I mean, seriously, what are you doing standing out here?”

There was no way I was going to tell her that I was afraid to knock, so I just shrugged. “Enjoying the night air,” I said as casually as I could. I tried to stop rubbing my arms.

“Just come in,” she said. “They aren’t here yet, but you’re making us all nervous standing out here in the dark. If you were more than five feet tall you might actually scare someone.”

She had managed to insult me like three times in the course of a minute. That had to be some kind of record.

I followed her inside. Waiting for us was Samuel’s grandmother.

“Granny,” said Lydia, almost skipping over to the much older woman and planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Stop sucking up, girl,” said her grandmother, waving her cane.

Lydia grinned. “You wouldn’t know what to do without us.”

“Oh yes I would. Take trash bags to all your rooms and convert them into bedrooms for my dogs,” said Mrs. Cheshire.

“Tea?” Lydia asked.

“Your tea tastes like turpentine,” said Granny. “I’ll make a fresh pot.”

“How hard is it to boil water?” Lydia muttered.

“Until I saw you try I would have said it was easy,” said her grandmother, sweeping into the kitchen.

I almost giggled. Samuel’s grandmother obviously had a mind of her own and wasn’t going to bend to her children’s and grandchildren’s whims.

Samuel and Leslie were in the kitchen. When I walked in Samuel shifted uncomfortably but didn’t look up.

“Hi,” said Leslie. “Granny, making tea?”

“Yes,” she said, “for me and our guest.”

Even with Samuel’s head down I saw a smile flicker over his face.

“So, I can’t have any?” Leslie asked, folding her arms over her chest.

“Of course you can, Love,” said her grandmother. “As soon as you make it yourself.”

“What if Samuel wants some?” Leslie asked. “He always gets everything he wants, doesn’t he?”

“Obviously not everything,” said Lydia, smirking.

I glanced at her, wondering if she meant what I thought she meant.

Samuel’s head snapped up. “Say one more word, Lydia,” he said, his eyes burning into his cousin’s. “I dare you.”

Instead of saying anything else, she made a show of getting cups and spoons out of the cupboard.

“Well, this is nice,” said Leslie. “It’s like the gang’s all together again. If only Nick were here. And Carley. How are they, by the way?”

I was sure that Leslie couldn’t have cared less how Nick and Carley were, but I would have done anything to distract myself from the sight of Samuel sitting quiet and surly at the table, so I started talking about how complicated their relationship was.

Granny had poured the tea and was just offering me a seat, unfortunately next to Samuel, when I heard the front door slam open and shut.

Lydia and Leslie both smiled at each other.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” said Lydia, rubbing her hands together.

“You will do no such thing,” said her grandmother sternly. Lydia stopped dead. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” said her grandmother, “that you are going to leave that girl alone.”

“There needs to be an audience,” said Leslie. “No one said we couldn’t watch.”

Granny took a sip of her tea. “I just did. Are you going to argue with me?”

Apparently the question was more serious than it sounded, because Leslie sucked in her breath and Samuel stopped pretending that he was alone in the room.