Read Attack of the Giant Robot Chickens Online
Authors: Alex McCall
Cody kept smiling at me. “Offer me something else if you like, but I don’t see that there’s much point. After all, there’s nothing I could want.”
“How about just for the good of mankind? You’d be helping a lot of people.”
He just laughed. “Oh, I do like jokes.” He leaned forward, his expression unpleasant. “Tell me another.”
I opened my mouth, about to do exactly what he wanted but Rayna kicked my foot before I could. I looked at her but her head was bowed forward and her face was twisted in thought.
“Fine,” she said at last. “What do you want?”
Cody tilted his head slightly, as if he found this fascinating. “What do I want?” he repeated. He leaned forward. “There’s a Catcher patrolling around my Outer Defences. I want you to take it out.”
There was stunned silence. “You want us to take down a Catcher?” I said at last. There was no way we could take down one of those. Not without a huge army.
He smiled smugly at me. “Well, you claim to have found some great weakness of theirs. This gives you a chance to prove it.”
“It wasn’t our plan to actually fight the chickens. We’d just cause a distraction and then take down the mast.” I glanced sideways at Rayna. She was leaning her chin on her hands, deep in thought.
Cody shook his head. “No. Your plan was for me and my guys to cause the distraction. We’re the ones at risk. So before we do this we need to know that it’ll actually work. And for that you need to take down that Catcher.”
“But that’s insane…” I began before Rayna interrupted.
“Quiet, Jesse. You’ve got yourself a deal, Cody.”
I stared at her while Cody grinned.
“Excellent,” he said, holding out a hand. Rayna glared at it for a moment then grabbed it and shook.
“We’ll need some supplies and some of your people though,” she told him. He nodded.
“Tell Percy what you need and he’ll set it up.” Cody leaned back in his chair. “You can go now.”
I didn’t like being dismissed like that and I could tell that Rayna didn’t either, but she got up and left. Once we were outside the door I grabbed her arm.
“Rayna, are you crazy? We can’t take on one of those things.”
She shook me off but wouldn‘t meet my eyes. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve got a plan.”
The day dawned bright and sunny and that got on my nerves. The day had no right to be sunny. By the time night came we could all have been eaten by this Catcher. There should have been brooding clouds and thunder rumbling in the distance. Not sun and a cool spring breeze.
Sleeping at Kittybrewster was odd enough. The place was packed full of kids, mostly boys, though there were a few tough looking girls in there as well. In Noah’s gang we usually had a sleeping compartment to ourselves or else we had to share with maybe one other person. In here everyone was packed into classrooms sharing mattresses on the floor.
Cody didn’t even offer us breakfast. While everyone else tucked into tins, Rayna and I had to have more cereal bars from our backpack. I guess that Cody thought that he’d done enough for us, letting us stay the night and use some of his people, but I was running dangerously low on supplies. We’d already run out of tinned food and I was saving my chocolate bars for an emergency.
After breakfast he handed us some rolls of tin foil that he’d found in the school kitchen and introduced us to the people we’d be working with. A tall, thin guy called Billy was our runner. There were two bulky guys who looked vaguely like brothers. None of them seemed that friendly. Rayna took one look at them and shrugged.
“OK, you’ll do,” she said.
We also got a guide, a small, nervous boy called Paul. I wasn’t sure what he was doing with a bunch of
guys like this, but it turned out that he was an excellent scout and Cody treated him well because of that. He was partly in charge of the ‘Outer Defences,’ – a scattering of kids patrolling the surrounding area. They kept an eye out for chickens, other kids and anything else that might cause problems.
“There’s been a Catcher snooping around up here for the past week or so,” Paul said as he led the way. “It’s been around about the Hilton area.”
Rayna looked impressed and slightly concerned. “You have guys that far away?”
“We have guys all over.”
We walked up the side road on to Clifton Road, where we’d slept the night before last, and turned right. Where the road ended, we scrabbled up a footpath on to another road. More houses. These ones were different though. Where a front door should be there was just a gaping, cave-like opening, with some stairs leading up and away. I guess there were flats up there. It looked kind of weird.
“You set up,” Paul said, glancing around. “I’ll go find out where that Catcher got to.”
Rayna uncoiled the rope from where she’d been carrying it around her shoulders and threw one end to one of the brothers. “OK, listen up,” she said. “We know there’s a Catcher in the area. What we’ve got to do is to take it down. Paul’s gone to find it. Then we’ll have Billy lure it over here.”
“How am I supposed to do that?” Billy asked.
“Jump around in front of it, throw rocks at it, whatever. Just get it to chase you. Then you lead it over here. We’ll lay the rope across the road and pull it up just in time to trip the chicken up.”
“What then?” The other brother asked. I could see
the three of them exchanging glances. They obviously didn’t think that this was a good idea. I couldn’t help but agree, though I didn’t say it.
“We’ve got information that leads us to believe that the chickens are controlled by signals. If we can block out that signal then the chicken should just shut down. So the second it hits the dust we wrap it in tin foil.”
“Like a Christmas turkey?” I asked.
She sighed, but nodded. “Like a Christmas turkey. Try and focus on its head. I think that’s the most likely place for the receiver to be.”
Paul silently appeared at that moment and muttered something to Rayna. She motioned the others into position. Billy went off with Paul, and the other two went across the road holding the rope. Rayna glanced around and then wrapped her end once around a lamppost, to give it extra strength.
“Rayna, are you sure about this?” I muttered to her. She glared at me.
“Of course I am. It’s foolproof. We just trip it and wrap it.”
I looked at the rolls of tin foil that Cody had got for us. They didn’t seem very strong. At that moment Glen’s theory seemed even weaker.
“So it’ll be like that bit from Star Wars, with the Ewoks and the chicken walker?”
She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yes, like that.”
I was about to say something else when the ground began to shake. “Get ready,” Rayna called. She picked up her end of the rope. “Give me a hand with this.”
I grabbed it just as Billy came haring around the corner, the chicken not far behind him. He was running flat out. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone run faster. But the chicken was gaining.
Billy flashed across the rope, his arms raised like it was the finishing line.
“Pull!” roared Rayna. She heaved the rope up and wrapped it around the post a few more times, the group on the other side doing the same. We all pulled it taut just as the chicken reached it. I think it saw the rope a second before it hit it because it began to slow down. It didn’t make any difference though. The chicken smashed into the rope…
…and kept on going.
The post beside us was wrenched from the ground and we were pulled from our feet. I dimly saw the same happening to the other group, the railing they’d tied their rope to clattering along the ground. We were dragged along as the chicken took another step.
“That’s what happened in Star Wars as well,” I muttered when we finally stopped moving. While Rayna only groaned beside me I looked up, desperate to see what had happened to the chicken.
Billy had slowed down after passing the rope, chest heaving. He turned round, thinking that the plan had worked, a grin on his face, just as the chicken reached him. His grin just had time to fade before the chicken pecked him up, its metal beak clacking shut. It tilted its head back and I could almost hear poor Billy slithering down its throat.
Then the Catcher turned round.
“Rayna,” I said urgently. “Come on, get up. We’ve got to go.”
I scrambled to my feet, Rayna not far behind. The chicken took a step towards us. The other team had fled and the chicken had no one to focus on but us.
I grabbed Rayna, who was still a bit groggy, and pulled her along with me. She shook her head and then
began to run faster. We weren’t as fast as Billy had been and if we carried on along the road we’d get eaten for sure. So we swerved through the hedge beside us and pounded up the path. Lasers from the chicken’s eyes flashed past us and hit the wall of the house, charring it slightly. The mouth of the house loomed in front of us, gaping and hungry. We plunged in, dashing up the stairs into the darkness. Hiding up there we panted, catching our breath and wondering if we’d escaped.
There was a squawk and the chicken thrust its head up after us. We screamed and ran up further, the chicken snapping its beak at us. In a flurry we rattled the door handles and managed to get through the one on the right. We scuttled through and ran through to the back. I was in such a rush that I tripped and fell, grabbing Rayna and pulling her down with me. It was only after we started sliding that I realised the chicken was pushing the house over, desperate to get us.
It wanted revenge.
We landed on the far wall with a thump and rolled to our feet. The window was right in front of us, getting closer to the ground with every passing second. The handles were stiff, but in the end we managed to fumble them open and then we were through, spilling out of the window and on to the grass not so far below. There was a sharp crack behind us and we dashed forward as the whole house collapsed.
We turned and looked back, coughing in the dust that was billowing all around us. All that could be seen of the chicken was its head, poking out of a mound of bricks and rubble. It screeched and thrashed and the bricks began to tumble away.
“Quick, Jesse, the tinfoil.”
I was on to my feet in a shot and back round the
side of the house. The tin foil was where we’d left it, still sitting by the side of the road. I grabbed it up and turned. Rayna had climbed up beside the chicken and I tossed the packet like a javelin. It landed beside her and she pounced upon it, tearing it open and frantically wrapping it again and again round the metal head beside her. I got one look at the chicken’s mad eye, gleaming at me evilly, before the silvery sheet hid it from view.
It didn’t go quietly. It thrashed from side to side, firing its eye lasers. They burned through the tin foil and only just missed hitting Rayna. The rest of the foil glowed and sparked, making the chicken squawk in pain. It must have done more damage to itself, because she quickly replaced the foil and it didn’t try again. Finally, it was still. Rayna didn’t stop wrapping until all the foil was used up. Then she slowly sat back.
Peace descended. I could hear birds chirping in the trees and a banging from inside the chicken that must have been Billy trying to fight his way out. But from the chicken there was nothing. Not a creak. Not a crow. It was completely still.
“You’ve done it.”
Rayna didn’t respond at first, just stood there looking down at it, a confused look on her face. “Yeah, I guess I have.”
After a moment she slowly pulled back her leg and kicked the chicken’s head. Her foot bounced off the side with a clang. She did it again, with more force this time. Then she started jumping up and down, yelling and screaming at the top of her voice.
“Yes! Yes! We did it! We finally did it. We took one of them down! Cody can’t say no after this!”
“No.”
Rayna just stared at Cody for a second, trying to process this. “What did you just say?” she hissed.
He looked back at her, his face like stone. “I said no.”
I sat in the too-small chair, staring dully in front of me. It had already been a long day and it was barely lunchtime yet. Before anything else we’d had to dig the Catcher out so that we could get Billy back. It was nerve-wracking – with every movement we were worried that it would get the signal back. Finally, we managed to shift enough rubble to be able to prise open the hatch in its stomach. He came out swaggering, boasting about how no chicken could contain him, but after we’d gathered up the other three and started back he got more and more quiet. I guess the shock of what had just happened must have hit him after the adrenaline wore off.
We’d arrived back as heroes. People were chanting our names as we entered the school and even Percy looked a bit impressed. The noise drew Cody out of his office and he shut it up with a quick command. Then we came into his office, expecting to be offered his help.
Instead we got this.
“Why?” Rayna looked completely confused at this. I felt the same. Why wouldn’t he want to see the chickens defeated?
“It’s simple. The chickens aren’t a threat to us.”
“They clearly are,” I said, before common sense told
me to shut up. Cody just looked at me.
“They don’t know where we are and they’ve shown no real interest in tracking us down. I don’t think they even really care about us. If the odd one comes after us then we’ve got the means to take them down. I don’t see what use all-out war would be. We aren’t guaranteed victory and thanks to your plan there’s a good chance we’d lose. I’m not willing to take that risk.”
“The chickens will come for you one day. They won’t just let us be.” Rayna thumped a fist down onto Cody’s desk. He didn’t seem impressed.
“Yes, so you say. So you’ve been saying for months. But it’s not happened yet. We’re still here and I don’t think antagonising the chickens is going to solve anything.”
“What was taking down that Catcher if not antagonising the chickens?” I asked. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“That was self-defence. It threatened us. If we didn’t deal with it then it could have exposed us. And now it’s not a problem any more. Why change that?”
“Cody, you rat! You promised! You… what is it?” Rayna stopped mid-rant to snap at Percy as he came in.
“Cody, we’ve caught some people approaching the building. A guy and a small girl.”
“So?” Cody asked, looking at his lieutenant.
“They say they’re here to talk to the Ambassador.”
I looked at Rayna and mouthed “Glen and Lizzie?” She shrugged.
“Bring them up,” she told Percy. He looked to Cody and waited for his nod before disappearing. He returned a moment later with Glen and Lizzie. Lizzie was looking kind of white and she ran to give me a hug as soon as she saw me. I couldn’t help feeling a bit
touched that she cared so much.
Glen froze when he saw Cody. He swallowed and turned to talk to Rayna directly. “Ambassador, you’ve got to see this.”
“Oh?” she asked. “What is it?”
“It popped up on the TV channels a couple of hours ago.” He pulled his coat back to reveal his portable TV under one arm. He must have got it working while we were away.
Glen moved forward to put it on the desk, then hesitated and looked at Cody for permission. He nodded and Glen put down his burden, fiddling with it a bit while everyone else gathered in front. Cody came out from behind the desk, leaning forward slightly so he had a good view. But when the machine was turned on all that filled the screen was static.
“It’s been on repeat. Hang on.”
The static flickered and then an image popped on to the screen. It was a chicken.
I stared at it. This wasn’t one of the gigantic robot chickens. It wasn’t even one of the Commandos we’d seen marching about at Beechgrove. It was just a normal chicken. Wearing a hat.
It wasn’t a normal hat. It looked like someone had taken a colander or a big lampshade and covered it in tinfoil. It was twice the size of the chicken’s head and was attached with a headband or something. It looked like it was in some sort of command centre or a lab. There were monitors on the walls behind it and lots of computers and stuff in the background. Even after everything I’d seen over the last few months it was bizarre.
And then it spoke.
“Children of the humans,” it said. At least I assume it was the chicken speaking. Its mouth didn’t move.
The voice just echoed around the room while it stared into the camera. “I am your new leader. I know that some of you are still out there and some might even have ideas about fighting back. That is futile. For too long our race has been enslaved by yours. Now is our time. Now we will break free and take back the world.”
The TV cut away from the chicken. It showed Edinburgh and then London. Giant Catchers were striding about the streets in front of Edinburgh Castle and the Houses of Parliament, obviously in complete control. The voice spoke over this.
“Your government has fallen. Your police force is scattered. We were created by your army and now your army is ours. The United Kingdom is ours. And this is only the beginning.”
More shots. Giant chickens fighting with soldiers in front of the Eiffel Tower. A robot chicken standing by the White House. A rooster crowing over a pyramid.
“You have no chance against us. We will win. So join us now.”
Another shot. It was somewhere in the country, showing big fields of corn. People were working, planting and tending the fields. I felt a shiver run through me. I guess now we knew what had happened to the adults. They were being used like slaves.
“You will be safe. You will be cared for.”
Then the chicken came back. Its eyes looked insane. It spoke for the final time. “But if you stand against us we will find you. And we will take you.”
Then the screen went black.
There was silence for a moment. Then Rayna spat on the ground. “So we’re doing this now, right?”
“Definitely,” Cody said, his eyes still on the screen. The silence stretched out, then he blinked and the
moment was broken.
“I guess there’s no point in having an army if you’re not going to do anything with it,” he said, straightening up. He looked at Rayna and me, pinning us in place with his gaze. “We’re not doing this alone. You two are coming along with us. And that group you represent.”
“Umm… I don’t really have the authority to decide that…” I began, but Rayna cut me off.
“They’ll be there. Their leader said that he was in. He will stand with us.”
Cody looked between the two of us, his eyebrow raised. “Forgive me if I don’t just take your word for it. I’d rather know for sure that your leader will be there. It’ll take a while to get organised here. Why don’t you go and ask him yourself?”
Rayna nodded and both she and Cody stood up at the same time. He reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a piece of paper. He scribbled something on it then handed it to her.
“Here,” he said. “You can move freely throughout my territory. Make sure you hurry back now.”
Rayna took it and clenched it tightly in a fist before shoving it into her pocket. “Come on, Jesse,” she said, grabbing my arm. I made sure that Lizzie was still with me and together we left the office, while Cody stood behind us, still deep in thought.