Authors: Walter Knight
“
You dare to threaten me with a labor grievance?”
“
Desperate times require desperate measures.”
“
Fine! Handle it your way. You will anyway!”
“
Yes, sir.”
Chapter 17
From a stealthed starship in orbit over New Colorado, the spider commander spied down at the events unfolding on the casino roof.
Arthropodan marine commandos stood poised to attack.
“
The prize dangles precariously from a thread, just out of my grasp,” he commented, watching Private Atm sway in the breeze, via news feeds. “I will lead the assault myself.”
At midnight, marines beamed down to the roof, quickly overwhelming the Wild Ones standing guard.
The spider commander extended his claw to reel in Private Atm. “I mean you no harm,” assured the spider commander, eying Atm. “But by order of the Emperor, I will possess your secrets.”
“
You will torture me?” asked Atm. “I am just a lowly private. I know nothing.”
“
I know what you are. Do not play stupid. Resistance is futile.”
“
I cannot be hidden from Legion GPS. No matter what you think, I am still a legionnaire. My abduction is an act of war, and will not be tolerated.”
“
Arrogant, yet so naïve,” replied the spider commander. “Your GPS is easily defeated. You will travel with me to the day after yesterday.”
“
That’s back to the future,” corrected the Military Intelligence officer, cryptically. “Or maybe the day after yesterday’s tomorrow.”
“
You are of the conspiracy Major Lopez warned me about,” accused Atm. “You sail the winds of time?”
“
Lopez is with us,” answered the spider commander triumphantly. “Many are with us. In time we will establish the foundation for a new galactic order. Our current incompetent leaders haven’t a clue what’s coming. Join us.”
* * * * *
“A hostage was just removed from the ledge by spider soldiers,” radioed a forward Legion sniper team. “Request permission to take a shot.”
“
Do it!” I ordered. “Paint the shuttle, too. They must not escape.”
“
What’s happening?” asked Major Lopez, alarmed by missiles slamming into the shuttle. “What have you done? We can’t risk harm to the hostages!”
“
The Empire implemented its own rescue,” I explained. “I expected that, though not so soon. They want Atm. I expected that too. What is so special about Atm? Lie this time, and I’ll shoot you for treason.”
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I am not a traitor,” bristled Lopez.
“
Spill it,” I ordered, pointing my pistol at Lopez’s head. “Don’t tell me no bullshit story about testing prototype micro chips. What are you and the CIA up to?”
“
That’s all I know.”
“
Then you’re dead man walking,” I said, pulling the hammer back. “Make your peace with God.”
“
He’s the ATM!”
“
What?”
“
The mad scientists put the ATM Network in a human body,” confessed Lopez, crossing himself. “Private Atm is the ultimate warrior of the future.”
“
You turned the ATM Network loose inside a human? It’s
alive
?”
“
Pretty much. He’s the first of many.”
“
No way,” I argued, grabbing Lopez by the throat. “That would be the beginning of the end of humanity. It has to be killed now, in its infancy.”
“
He’s not a monster. Atm is alive, the same as us, but much smarter and faster, and less morally corrupt. He eats less, too. No longer must humanity fight wars. Atm will fight for us.”
“
Only a fool believes you can outsource war.”
“
We outsourced nothing,” protested Lopez. “Private Atm was granted American citizenship. He has constitutional rights. He’s
alive
!”
“
Not for long,” I swore. “I’ll kill your Frankenstein monster myself, if it’s the last thing I do.”
* * * * *
As more missiles rocked the shuttle, tanks lurched forward, trashing my beautiful casino. Upset by my unauthorized surprise attack, General Daly called for an explanation.
“
You are ahead of schedule,” admonished Daly. “I order you to pause your attack for a station break. Paid commercial time is going for higher than the Super Bowl!”
“
We must attack now before the stairwells are re-enforced,” I argued. “There can be no holding back. Any delay will cost lives.”
“
Exigent circumstances necessitate that you scale back your assault,” insisted Daly. “Nike is about to come on board, and they want to feature you in one of their commercials. Your whole battalion will be fitted for new Nike Frontier Tread boots. This is big, a real game-changer!”
“
Oh, hell, no! Not this time!” interrupted Captain Patton, listening to the conversation on the command net. “Limp-dick politicians and lap-dog generals always hold us back. The American military needs to be unleashed, residual royalties be damned.”
“
I’m giving you a direct order,” insisted Daly. “You will stand down. The Doritos people just called. They’re adding fire hot chips to the MREs. It’s about time. I’m telling you,
Legion Reality TV
is going to be huge. Ratings are through the roof, and we can win this one. Our budget problems are solved. No more sequester!”
* * * * *
“Ever just want to get away?” asked the spider commander amicably, calling me after I disconnected from General Daly. “Stop the bombing. Let’s talk.”
“
What’s there to talk about? I win, you lose.”
“
For starters, I rescued the hostages. I am sending them down the stairs as I speak.”
“
Good job. You come down, too. Unarmed.”
“
I do not think so,” replied the spider commander scornfully. “I am leaving with Private Atm.”
“
That’s not happening.”
“
A plague of locusts heads our way, devouring all in their path,” explained the spider commander. “Your Private Atm is a key to stopping the invasion swarm. Humanity and the Empire must work together if we are to survive. No secrets. But first, the Old Guard must fall.”
“
You propose treason? Ha! That buzzing sound you hear from above is a drone about to kill you all.”
“
We need to rewrite history to save the galaxy.”
I contemplated that last statement.
Major Lopez, Captain Patton, and Captain Columbus entered the Command Center. The awkward silence was deafening as they waited for my answer.
“
Really?” I asked angrily. “I should have known. You’re all in on it?”
“
It’s common knowledge the CIA has mastered time travel,” advised Major Lopez gently. “Patton and Columbus are proof of that. It’s time to make our move. Join us. Make America strong, and save the galaxy once and for all.”
“
America is already strong.”
“
We need to be stronger.”
“
You would include spiders?” I asked incredulously. “How do time traveling spiders make America stronger and the galaxy safer?”
“
You need to look at the big picture,” argued Lopez. “That’s always been your problem. There’s much worse out there than just spiders. We’re going to take down the whole galaxy.”
“
General Daly doesn’t know?”
“
Incompetents will be swept aside. Daly is not up to the task. I will save the galaxy myself, with your help. We are not traitors. We’ve served proudly, but have one more mission.”
“
Fine,” I relented, for now. “But I’m killing that walking-talking ATM, no matter what you say. Its kind must be stopped while we are still capable.”
Chapter 18
General Daly was not happy when the Wild Ones and the Arthropodan commandos surrendered so quickly.
So much anticipation, so little payoff. He was even more unhappy when the CIA assigned me to a special top-secret mission. I herded the Wild Ones directly onto a new larger shuttle, this time deploying lots of legionnaires for backup. Major Lopez and I discussed the future as the ramp closed behind us.
“
What are the specifics of your plan?” I asked, glaring at Private Atm seating himself in the troop section. “I might want to make a few changes.”
“
We are going to seize the moment and change the past now,” explained Major Lopez. “First, I will nuke the Japanese fleet before it attacks Pearl Harbor, followed by nuking their homeland. There will be no more Toyota. On the same day, we nuke Hitler and Stalin. No more VW Bugs, either. You know how many Americans those things have killed? Then we nuke Rome just to set the tone. America will conquer the world two hundred years early, allowing humanity time to unite in a common effort to prepare for the locust invasion.”
“
Do we really have to nuke Rome? What about the Vatican and all those fountains?
“
Collateral damage cannot be avoided.”
“
We’re going now? No way. I need to pack. I can’t go back in time without a toothbrush. It’s gross.”
“
We’ll build Walmarts in every world capital except Tokyo, Moscow, and Berlin.”
“
That won’t work,” I commented skeptically. “What if you screw up history instead of making things better?”
“
Then we go back and fix things again.”
“
What about paradoxes? What if we cause ourselves to not be born?”
“
Scientists assure us there’s no such thing as temporal paradoxes.”
“
You’re sure?”
“
Probably.”
“
I don’t believe anything those eggheads say. When is this so-called invasion supposed to happen?”
“
In five years. It’s a fact. I saw it.”
“
Rather than change Old Earth’s history, why don’t we change the locusts’ history?” I suggested. “We should exterminate the bugs with DDT. Spray their home world.”
“
We haven’t found it yet.”
“
In the meantime, we can finance the war effort with a few trips to Vegas, baby. Or maybe rob the Incas before those punk Spanish bastards arrive.”
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I am from a long line of Conquistadors,” bristled Lopez. “Those Incas had it coming.”
“
Fine, we can rip off the Chinese. They hoard gold all over the place, mining it with non-union slave labor. I say we cut out the CIA, too. The feds will just bring in the IRS and more bureaucracy. If we’re going to save the galaxy, we need to cut through all the red tape.”
“
We have partners. The spiders will be upset if we deviate from the plan.”
“
You trust the spiders? They will double-cross us. We need to double-cross the spiders first.”
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You play a dangerous game,” warned Lopez, gesturing to Arthropodan marines guarding the Wild Ones. It’s risky enough cutting out the CIA, but the spiders bring a lot of firepower. I don’t think the spider commander trusts you.”
“
Paranoid bastard,” I groused. “One problem child at a time. I’ll take out the CIA. You stay close to the spider commander. Eventually, an opportunity will present itself.”
* * * * *
“Do you still want me to kill you, should you betray America?” asked Private Atm contemptuously.
“
No, of course not,” answered Major Lopez, surprised by the sudden appearance of the machine being. “Not me. I’m more worried about my evil twin from a future paradox appearing.”
“
I thought you did not believe in paradoxes, probably.”
“
You bugged my conversation?”
“
Frankenstein has bionic ears,” bragged Atm. “If evil twins start appearing, this story is over. There will be no second edition. I’ll talk to world famous science fiction writer Walter Knight about this possible turn of events.”
“
Just don’t get our identities confused.”
“
I will not allow Czerinski to murder me. I am alive. I have a soul, even if the Grim Reaper doesn’t want it, yet. I will escape into the past.”