At the Tycoon's Command (9 page)

His words were barely audible. “You are exquisite.” He twisted so his body covered hers, one of his legs between hers and the other hanging over the edge of the sofa. He cupped the firmness of her breast, her tautly puckered nipple pressing into his hand. He captured her other nipple in his mouth. A soft moan of pleasure filled the air. He didn't know if it had come from him or from her. Perhaps it was from both of them.

Her hands were at his trousers, trying to unfasten his belt and unzip his pants. He reached for the waist of her slacks. Their hands collided as each frantically tugged at the other's remaining pieces of clothing. Jared released her nip
ple from his mouth and raised up on his elbows. He gasped for air and finally managed a few breathless words.

“Let's go to my bedroom.”

He rolled off the sofa, his chest heaving with his labored breathing. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Then he impulsively scooped her in his arms, carried her up the stairs to his bedroom and laid her on the bed. He gulped in several deep breaths as he shucked off his trousers, socks and briefs.

Kneeling on the bed, he unfastened her slacks as quickly as his trembling hands could function. She arched her hips upward, allowing him to pull them off along with her panty hose and lacy bikini panties. He stared at the beautiful woman who had dominated all his thoughts from the time he met her. Her slightly parted kiss-swollen lips and mussed hair gave her an earthy look of wild abandon and exotic sensuality. Her blue eyes sparkled with the same passion that coursed hotly through his veins. She raised her hand toward him, beckoning him to join her.

The last vestige of control he had been able to muster flew out the window. He snuggled his body next to hers. He teased her nipple with the tip of his tongue before drawing it in and gently suckling. Her mouth…her skin…every touch and taste inflamed his senses. He ran his hand up the smooth skin of her inner thigh until he reached the moist heat of her femininity.

A gasp followed by a sensual moan of pleasure escaped Kim's throat when he inserted his finger between her feminine folds. She splayed her fingers across his hard chest, then trailed her fingertips down his body. She stroked his hardened arousal, the sensual delight sending a wave of excitement through her body that rapidly combined with the strong sensations produced by his touch.

She wrapped her leg around his, threw her head back
into the pillow, closed her eyes and allowed the delicious waves of euphoria to surge through her body. A moment later his mouth came down hard on hers. She circled her arms around his neck. His hot kiss infused her with an intense sexuality that emanated from his every breath and gesture. No one had ever set her passions on fire the way he did.

Jared reached for the drawer of the nightstand and withdrew the condom packet, his movements almost frantic in his rush to rip open the package. A few moments later he nestled his body between her legs and slowly thrust his manhood inside her. He held her tightly as a hard jolt of something as emotional as it was physical claimed every corner of his consciousness. He fought to keep the emotional side of what was happening under control. He set a smooth pace, each of his strokes being met by a thrust of Kim's hips. His mouth captured hers again, as much in an attempt to prevent him from saying more than he wanted to as it was a need for the intimate contact and a desire to experience her taste.

Kim's emotions vied for control with the physical rush surging through her body. Everything about Jared excited her more than she believed it could…every place he touched her, every word he said. The pace of their lovemaking accelerated as layer upon layer of intense rapture built toward the ultimate ecstasy. She tightened her arms around him. His kiss demanded more, and she gave everything she could until the convulsions totally claimed her body in a climactic euphoria more intense than anything she had ever experienced. She clung to him as the waves surged through her again and again. It had been everything she knew it would be, everything she had anticipated…and more.

Jared wavered between wanting to prolong the delicious
sensations and giving in to the rapture that rushed to claim him. He gave one final deep thrust. His body shuddered, followed by hard spasms of release. There was so much he wanted to say, and every bit of it frightened him more than anything in his life ever had.

 

Jared kissed Kim's damp cheek, brushed his lips tenderly against hers and continued to hold her. He didn't want to let go of her warmth or break the physical contact that continued to radiate to him.

He had been with women who immediately wanted praise for their performance, to be told that they were beautiful and desirable and that it was the best lovemaking he had ever experienced. Others wanted him to make a commitment to a relationship, even though he had made no such promises or even hinted at the possibility. Others felt a need to tell him about their lovers in an attempt to impress him with their vast experience. He hadn't been interested in any of it.

But Kim was different. She didn't do any of those things. She seemed strangely quiet, as if there were many thoughts going through her mind, secrets she chose not to share. It left him very uneasy and at a loss about what to do or say to her. A wave of apprehension jittered through his body and flowed into the one area where he had no experience—a previously unknown insecurity.

Making love had never before had an emotional impact on him the way it had with Kim. Every fear he had ever harbored about commitment and relationships, every negative thought he had ever held about his father's many failed marriages, came rushing at him. Foreign feelings coursed through him, feelings that frightened him…feelings that told him to run before it was too late.

Feelings that told him it was already too late.

So he continued to hold her tightly while he tried to convince himself that nothing had changed, that everything was okay even though he knew things would never be the same again.

Kim remained folded in his embrace, the glow of total contentment resonating through every fiber of her being. Before they had made love she suspected she might be falling in love with him. Now she knew it for sure. What she didn't know was how she felt about the revelation. He was the type of man whose lifestyle and existence shouted for all to hear that he would never allow himself to be tied down to one woman in a committed relationship.

Could she be happy as his lover knowing she could never be anything more? One thing was definite—whatever relationship existed between them before they made love, even if it was only a contracted work arrangement, had been irrevocably changed.

What just moments ago had been total elation was suddenly dampened by so many doubts and fears. Had she done something she would live to regret? She hoped not, but she feared so.

Jared kissed her cheek, drawing her out of her thoughts. Then he nuzzled her neck as he caressed her breast. A renewed tingle of excitement quickly made its way through her body. He slowly tickled his fingers up her inner thigh, and she was once again poised on the brink of a rapturous experience.

It was another hour before they basked in the afterglow of their intense lovemaking for a second time. If Jared had been uncertain earlier about where the impact of their lovemaking would lead, now he was in a state of total confusion. He wrapped his arms tightly around Kim's body and held her to him. Maybe things would be clearer in the
morning. He closed his eyes and tried to put the negative thoughts out of his mind while gently stroking her skin.

Kim delighted in the little tremors of excitement that followed in the wake of his fingertips. She had never felt so at one with another human being as she did at that moment. How was it possible for Jared to become so important to her, so much the emotional center of her existence in only a month? She snuggled into the comfort and security of his arms. Her thoughts became fewer and less clear as sleep claimed her.

J
ared sat on the edge of the bed watching Kim as she slept. He had slipped out of bed half an hour earlier to make coffee and bring in the morning newspaper. Conflicting thoughts and feelings ran rampant through him. On the one hand he wanted to be with her, to share everything with her. Even the possibility of building a life together had entered his thoughts. She was unlike any woman he had ever known. Just looking at her sent a shiver through his body, telling him of the magnitude of the impact their lovemaking had on him. It had never seemed so important on every level of existence as it had with Kim.

But on the other hand, he felt as if the walls were closing in on him, trapping him in something he wasn't ready for. He wanted to stay as much as he instinctively wanted to run. Nothing had ever put him into a state of inner turmoil the way this had. And he had been totally unprepared for it.

His pulse raced a little faster and his heartbeat pounded a little harder as he took in the beautiful woman sleeping in his bed. He reached out and lightly stroked her hair, brushing errant strands from the side of her face. Her long, dark lashes rested against her upper cheek. He watched the gentle rise and fall of her breasts corresponding with her slow, even breathing. His gaze traced the enticing curve of her hip and her long, shapely legs. She stirred, then stretched her arms and legs.

Kim slowly opened her eyes. The first sight that greeted her was Jared's face. She smiled. “Good morning.” A soft warmth spread through her body as she recalled the intensity of their lovemaking and the heat of the passion between them. “Have you been awake for long?”

“No…just long enough to make some coffee.” He wanted to touch her, to feel the silky smoothness of her skin and experience the sensual oneness of the physical contact with her. He started to reach out, but withdrew his hand. He didn't know why. A sudden jolt of panic gripped him and refused to let go. He stood and walked to the other side of the bed.

“I brought your clothes up from the living room.”

A hint of a frown creased her forehead. “Thank you.” A million warning bells went off inside her head. There was something different about him, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. Was his attitude a little cooler? His manner a bit more formal? He hadn't kissed her, not even the gesture of touching her cheek as he had numerous times over the past month. A little chill darted across her skin. She pulled the sheet up to cover her even though she knew the chill was emotional rather than physical.

She had wondered the night before if she would regret her decision to make love with Jared. Had that decision
already come back to haunt her, or were her fears preying on her insecurities? She reached for the clothes he had placed on the foot of the bed. Was it his way of telling her he wanted her to leave even though it had been previously agreed that they would work on the charity project that day? Had
he
been struck with regrets?

A shudder of apprehension attached itself to her fears. She was no good at the morning after game of vying for the upper hand to control what was happening. She would relieve him of the decision by making the first move and taking the matter out of his hands.

“I'm going to go home so I can take a shower and put on some clean clothes. Then I'll be back and we can start on the charity fund-raiser as we discussed…if that's okay with you.”

“Sure, that's fine. We can have breakfast when you get back.” He heard the coolness in his voice and the distance it projected but didn't seem able to prevent it. He turned away, guilt surging through his consciousness over his inability to make eye contact with her. He wanted to take her in his arms, to hold her—to tell her that he thought he might be falling in love with her. He had allowed the reality to crystallize in his mind, but it didn't resolve anything. All it did was frighten him more than he already was, if that was possible.

Kim pulled on her clothes, then ran her fingers through her mussed hair. The sick churning in the pit of her stomach said something was very wrong. Was it her imagination? Her doubts and fears? Or was it real? Her emotions were running wild, and she needed to get them under control. What minutes earlier had been a time of blissful contentment had turned into confusion and doubts. She hurried toward the front door.

“I should be back in a couple of hours.” She didn't look
back to see the expression on his face, nor did she wait to hear what he might say. It was all she could do to maintain a steady walking pace rather than making a dash for her car. The churning in her stomach tried to push the sick feeling up her throat. In an almost involuntary action, she glanced at the house as she opened her car door. Jared stood on the porch, an odd expression on his face that she couldn't read.

He watched as Kim slid in behind the steering wheel and drove down the long driveway. It seemed like she had been in a great hurry to leave his house, as if she couldn't get away fast enough. Had it been his fault? Had he subconsciously pushed her away? More than anything, he had wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her all over again. But instead he had handed her clothes to her and made no effort to allay any concerns she might have had. He did nothing to reassure her that she was far more to him than just another bedmate, that he cared about her very much—perhaps too much. He had behaved like a grade A jerk. It was the type of behavior Terry would have exhibited.

He reluctantly went inside the house and closed the door. Suddenly he felt very much alone. And more than that, for the first time in his life, he truly knew what it was like to be lonely.

Lurch padded across the floor, let out a loud bark, then headed toward the kitchen. Jared followed the dog to the utility room where he filled the food dish and replenished the water bowl. Jared watched the dog for a couple of minutes as it attacked the food. “Lurch…I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I'll know for sure in a couple of hours when Kim returns.” A wave of panic swept over him. “
If
she returns.”

He tried to busy himself in his office. He pulled together
the information he had about the charity and what his clients said they wanted. He tried to keep his attention focused, but his mind kept wandering. Every few minutes his thoughts turned to Kim, to the way she felt in his arms, to the total and complete joy that assailed his senses the moment they joined together as one when they made love. He knew in the very depths of his soul that no one would ever touch his heart the way she had.

But none of that stopped the dark cloud from settling over him. The uncomfortable feeling that had made itself known when he first met her, the sensation that his life was about to take a dramatic detour from the course he had intended, had been resurrected and expanded to new dimensions. He had to grapple with the fear that churned inside him, the confusion he couldn't shake off and the anxiety that touched every corner of his conscious reality. Regardless of how much he wanted to be with Kim, the prospect of making a commitment to her was too terrifying for him. Everything he had experienced in life and witnessed growing up in his father's house told him that a commitment in a personal relationship could never work.

Stevens men could never commit for life. How could Jared think he could? He was his father's son.

 

Jared glanced at the clock again. Only five minutes had passed since he last checked the time. Kim had left his house almost four hours earlier, saying she would be back in a couple of hours. Had she changed her mind and decided not to return until her agreed upon regular work schedule on Monday? Had he driven a wedge between them to replace the fence they had torn down over the past month—the fence that had separated the Stevenses and Donaldsons for three generations of a family feud?

He nervously paced up and down the office, then went
to his bedroom. He stared at the rumpled bed where they had made love so passionately that every detail had become burned into his memory forever—every touch, every taste, every sensation. Would that memory have to last him a lifetime? He had never been so confused and uncertain about anything in his entire life. Perhaps he could have convinced himself that she was only a passing desire if they had not made love. But now it was too late for that.

Lurch's barking brought him out of his thoughts. Then he heard her speaking to the dog. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders but was still poised to drop on him again. She had returned, but that didn't tell him what the future held. He rushed to the office to greet her.

“You've been gone for nearly four hours. I was beginning to think you weren't coming back.” He had meant the statement as one of concern, but realized when he saw her eyes narrow and her jaw tighten that it had come out as an accusation. Suddenly he couldn't do anything right where she was concerned. Once again he found himself treading on unknown territory, and the lack of any seeming control fed into the insecurity he had never experienced before meeting Kim Donaldson.

Kim straightened from where she had kneeled to greet the dog. She had hoped the rest of the day wouldn't be awkward, but it was apparently a wish that would not be fulfilled. “I needed to do some work before tomorrow's open house. I didn't want to leave it until the last minute and take a chance on not getting it done in time. It's important for me to be able to sell my father's house as quickly as possible so I can pay off the rest of his debts and settle his estate.”

Her words grabbed his attention. “If you sell the house right away, where will you stay for the rest of the summer while finishing your work contract here?” He could offer
her temporary housing in one of his guest rooms and then maybe…he stopped his wandering thoughts. What was he thinking? Wandering…his thoughts weren't wandering, they were galloping full force toward a situation that could only be described as the first step in making a commitment.

“I'll worry about that when the house sells. I could always commute from my apartment in San Francisco, even though it would be almost an hour drive each way. There are people who drive that kind of a commute to and from work every day.”

A quick jab of disgust hit her. Her contracted work arrangement—he certainly wasn't going to let her forget about it. She took a calming breath, then walked to the desk in the reception area and picked up the file folder Jared had left there. Last night had been a horrible mistake, but she couldn't undo what had happened. All she could do was move forward in a strictly businesslike manner and try to avoid any unpleasant situations for the balance of her required summer work schedule.

And somehow she had to bury her feelings and deny what she had reluctantly admitted to herself was her love for Jared Stevens—a love that obviously would never be returned.

“What do you plan to do tomorrow while the real estate agent is holding the open house?”

“I plan to go to my apartment in San Francisco, water my plants and pack a larger suitcase with more clothes than what I brought with me. I've been living out of that suitcase for quite a while now, washing the same clothes over and over again. I'd like to wear something different for a change.”

“Oh.” He nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I held breakfast for you. I assumed you'd come back so we could eat together.”

“I've already eaten.” She looked at Jared in time to see a hint of disappointment flicker across his face.

“Where do you want to start on the charity project?” She didn't want to prolong any personal conversation. She was there strictly for business. “Do you have any ideas you want implemented? Do you want me to communicate directly with your client?”

“My client dumped the entire thing in my lap before he and his wife left for Europe. He said to let him know when everything was finalized, that he didn't really want to be bothered with any step-by-step progress reports. Everything he provided me, with regard to instructions, information, likes and dislikes, is in that file folder. So…do you have any thoughts?”

Thoughts? Yes, she had one immediate thought. Maybe this charity fund-raiser was the perfect solution to her dilemma. It would allow her to fulfill her contracted work arrangement with Jared while functioning autonomously without constant communication and the need to go to Jared for a list of menial little chores.

She pulled together her best business manner. “Well, the first thing we need to do is set a date and location for the function. We can't make any other arrangements such as hiring the caterers or an orchestra or booking any entertainment until we can tell them when and where. We can't have invitations printed and sent out until we have the when and where finalized.”

“Sounds good to me. I thought maybe the ballroom of one of the large downtown San Francisco hotels.”

She cocked her head in surprise. “A hotel ballroom? How large an affair did you anticipate? I had assumed it would be something you would do here.”

“No…I think it would be better if we held it at a hotel. It would be closer to people's homes in town. Those who
might imbibe a bit too much champagne would be able to take a cab home or stay at the hotel overnight. And it would be a location that would be able to accommodate hundreds of people, a room large enough for eating and also dancing.”

“That sounds reasonable. So, I guess my first order of business is to book the hotel facility. Did your client have any specific date in mind?”

“He suggested late September or the first of October. Since this is now the first of July, that gives us most of three months to get it together.”

“No…it gives me only two months until the first of September when my contracted work schedule is completed. After that, the last-minute details will be yours.” Her words came out harsh, much harsher than she intended them to be. She attempted to recover and get on with the business that needed to be done today.