Authors: Allie K. Adams
At Any Cost (39 page)
"Will we?" He met her eyes.
JT allowed his hand to slip. He'd just told her everything she needed to know. He didn't think they'd have anything after Colombia, confirming her worst assumption.
With a miserable breath, she let his hand go. He tried to grab for her hand, but she took a step back out of his reach. He looked at her, shook his head, and then lowered his hand.
"Goodbye, JT," he offered.
She couldn't bring herself to speak. Instead, she stepped out of the way as the men set him inside the car. Their gaze stayed with each other until the door closed.
"Goodbye, Dan," she whispered as the car pulled out.
Dan couldn't believe it. She didn't want him. After everything they'd been through together, she let him go. He moved the eggs around on his plate and finally pushed the plate aside altogether.
"Is the food here really that bad? You've been here three days and hardly eaten. All the cute nurses are worried about you and keep coming to me. I comfort them as best I can."
Dan looked over at Snyder and attempted a smile. He failed and looked back down at his plate. "I haven't had much of an appetite."
"NASSD is grateful you uncovered what Donovan had planned before he was able to carry it out, and to stop him and Peck before
Dan had heard. The Neely brothers had already stopped by the hospital with the good news. Dan Weber, the new head of NASSD's western region. Yippee. "Of course."
"They say you're refusing the pain medication."
His knee throbbed, but he barely felt it. The swelling in his face had gone down. His ribs were still there, and reminded him every time he tried to move. The bullet had torn through his lung, but done minimal damage. Apparently the Kevspa did its job. He was still breathing. According to the doctors, he'd make a full recovery.
His heart pinched. Somehow he doubted that.
"Our plane leaves in a few hours."
He looked at Snyder. "Fine."
"You are a fascinating conversationalist. Has anyone ever told you that? I can hardly get a word in."
"Hmm." Dan twisted to get up and winced as his ribcage protested against the movement. "Give me a minute to get ready. Did you bring the clothes?"
Snyder tossed a sack onto the bed and stood to leave the room. "You know, if you are so miserable without her, why'd you let her go?"
Dan looked back over his shoulder. "You got that backwards."
"Oh." Snyder raised his brow and lowered his eyes. "Holler when you're ready. I'll be on the other side of the door." He left the room and gave Dan some privacy.
He dressed, taking extra care to not anger any more body parts. The pants wouldn't fit over the immobilizer they had strapped to his leg. He ripped them at the seam and slipped them on. Bending over to tie his boots really pissed off his midsection. He ignored the pain as best he could and tied them anyway.
How could she just leave like that? She didn't even say goodbye. He debated whether to go to her apartment once he got back home, but decided against it. She'd made it clear when she let his hand go. Hell, she couldn't even answer his question when he asked if they'd have anything after Colombia.
Everything he went through—the many beatings, getting shot—didn't hurt nearly as much as her rejection. At least as head of the western region, he wouldn't have any more partners. He didn't want another one.
They were too painful.
And, as the new head, he'd be able to watch over her, make sure he partnered her up with someone who could handle her. If such a man existed.
Aside from Dan. He drew in a deep breath and winced when his ribcage decided it didn't like that, either.
"Okay," he called out.
Snyder stepped back in. "All set?"
He refused the crutches the hospital offered and instead opted for a cane. "When did she leave for the states?"
"I took her to the airport after they stitched her up here. She insisted she just wanted to go home and get on with her life. She didn't look happy, but when I asked her about it, she wouldn't talk."
Now there's a first.
So she left Colombia right away. He didn't know if that made him feel better or not. At least it explained why she didn't visit him in the hospital. Maybe. "Let's go home."
"You got it, boss." Snyder opened the door and held it for Dan. Using the cane, he made his way out of his room and into the hall for the first time since he'd arrived at the hospital on that stretcher.
Dan waited at the curb as Snyder went for the car. He spiked a brow when Snyder pulled up in a brand new Lincoln. "Where did you get this?" He paused, looked at the vehicle. "Isn't this the car you stole from Mercado to get me here?"
"
Borrowed
," Snyder corrected. "And no. This is a different one. That one had too much of your blood all over the back seat. Because Mercado had one in just about every color of the rainbow, I barbequed that one and
borrowed
another one. They'll never miss it."
"Is the lab gone?"
Snyder grinned wide. "We got a little carried away when we burned the lab. The fire got loose and not only burned up the entire shipment, but decided to use the elevator and take out the rest of the compound."
"Clean up?"
"NASSD is on it. They have their hazmat crew there picking through the ashes and dousing any hotspots."
Good. "You took JT to the airport?"
Snyder nodded and pulled out of the hospital's parking lot. "She looked as miserable as you do."
Dan didn't get it. Why would she be miserable? She's the one who stopped them from having a future together. It was her choice. He made it perfectly clear how he felt. Didn't he?
Oh shit.
He never did tell her. No wonder she let him go. He cursed inwardly at what a dumbass he could be. "Can't you drive any faster? If we get there sooner, maybe we'll catch an earlier flight home."
"Why the sudden hurry?"
Dan's insides started to spin. He had to get to her, to tell her how he felt. Only then would he accept goodbye as her answer. "The sooner we get home, the sooner I can find JT."
"It's about time one of you pulled your head out of your ass," Snyder commented and stepped on the gas.
JT signed the delivery receipt and instructed the men on where to set the new couch. That was the last of it. She'd done the best she could to return her apartment to normal. She had to replace almost every piece of furniture she had, since Peck sliced through all of her cushions.
She arrived back at her apartment three days ago to a letter from her bank. She didn't want to know how many checks bounced while she was down in Colombia saving the world. But instead of a nasty-gram, the letter informed her there had been a deposit of over fifty thousand dollars from a man by the name of Charlie Cole. His final gift to her.
Falling into her new couch, careful to not aggravate her shoulder and gouge over her ribs, she sighed and looked around. It felt so empty. Why didn't Dan want her? Was she really so bad to deal with? That hard to handle?
She sniffed to stop a stream of tears from falling. This was his choice. She'd have to live with it. But she wouldn't cry about it. Not once had she allowed a tear to fall. And she wouldn't.
NASSD agents didn't cry. Even if they had their heart torn out of their chest and shredded into millions of tiny pieces.
NASSD agents didn't cry.
She sniffed again. What was that smell? She went into the kitchen and opened the cabinet under the sink, sniffed again.
Oh! The garbage. It had her and Dan's dinner waste from over a week ago. And it was ripe. She tied off the top of the bag and walked it out to the dumpster.
As she opened the heavy door to the alleyway, the cold and wetness slapped her in the face. Sometimes she really hated the weather in Seattle. Colombia was a nice, balmy ninety degrees. Sunny. Not a cloud in the sky.
But not Seattle. Rainy. Dreary. Cold. It matched her mood perfectly.
Of course, she forgot to slip on some shoes. Rolling her eyes at how everything seemed to be coming down on her at once, she walked out onto the wet, cold pavement in her bare feet. The rain picked up as she made her way over to the dumpster. JT cursed.
She threw the garbage in. The side of the bag caught on the edge of the dumpster and tore, sending the majority of her garbage back down on top of her. The rain started to pound. It was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Throwing her head back, she screamed at the top of her lungs toward the sky.
"How could you do this?" She bellowed. The tears came fast, and she couldn't stop them from falling. She sobbed uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands. Resting back against the dumpster, she allowed herself to cry. Cry over her Uncle Charlie's death. Cry over everything she'd been through the past week. And cry over falling in love with a man who didn't love her back.
Lifting her face to the sky, she closed her eyes as the rain beat down on her. "I don't ask much from you. Is it too much to want?" She pounded her fists against the dumpster, over and over, until they throbbed. Her throat raw, she finally slowed her crying to a containable sob here and there.
She didn't know how long she remained against the dumpster, but by the time she'd picked up her garbage and made her way back inside, she was soaked. It felt like every raindrop had redirected itself as it fell from the sky so it could cling to her.
Figures.
Throwing her door open, she entered and walked into the bathroom. It took her a few seconds of staring at her reflection before she realized someone had been sitting on her new couch when she walked in. She ran back out and froze in her tracks, completely paralyzed at the sight. Because of the wet floor, her bare feet slipped out from under her and down she went.
Nice, Turner. She stood back up and brushed her hair out of her eyes, her gaze never leaving his.
Dan Weber pulled the corner of his mouth into a slight grin as he shook his head. She could see the immobilizer under his khaki pants, thanks to the split seam. A cane rested against his thigh. The swelling had disappeared from his handsome face. The dark blue turtleneck he wore drew out the most incredible shades of sapphire in those piercing eyes.
She'd never seen a more amazing, gorgeous sight in all her life.
Her heart ached for what they'd never have. Her flesh tingled with want. Her nipples puckered and hardened, and her desire pooled between her thighs. She had no idea seeing him again would have such an impact.
Her temporary paralysis moved to her tongue. For the first time in her life, she couldn't speak.
"Hi."
"Hi," she replied, stunned.
"You look," he stopped and slowly trailed her frame with his eyes, making her warm all over, "wet."
You have no idea.
The dull throb grew to an ache.
"It's raining," she said. After a torturous few seconds, JT blurted out. "What are you doing here, Dan?"
"I came to see you."
Came to torture me
. JT closed her eyes to regroup, ignoring the way her body spasmed at his words. Her brain got it. Why didn't her body? He didn't want her.
Why then, was he here? When she opened them, his eyes captured hers and refused to allow her to pull away. Her juices started to flow. Damn him for having the power to force this sort of reaction out of her. "Now you've seen me."
"So I have." He stood with the help of the cane. JT held her breath. He closed the gap between them, stopping a mere foot in front of her. Oh no. She could
smell
him, increasing the pace of her pulse.
It was intoxicating.
"But seeing you isn't enough for me, JT." He took another step and pulled her against him. It didn't even occur to her to protest. She wanted more. Her body demanded it. "Touching you isn't enough for me. Kissing you. Holding you. None of it will ever be enough."
Her head was reeling. Just what was he trying to say? "What will be?"
"You. All of you. All the time. Forever. I'm not the same person without you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. We are good together. I can't ignore that, and neither can you."
She crinkled her brow and wanted to scream. Why couldn't he just admit how he felt? Why make her guess his admission? He had no problem making it up back at the bar before she left with Mercado and his men. "What are you saying, Dan?"
"I'm saying I love you, damn it. I want you, all of you. And I want you forever. Marry me, Jessica Trinity Turner. Make me complete."
She wanted to fall into his arms, wanted to weep and accept his proposal at face value. But her wounded heart stopped her. He'd rejected her so many times. Could she believe him?
Should
she believe him?
He met her eyes as he lifted her chin with his knuckle. "What do you say?"
That was quite an admission. She didn't know what to do, what to say. "What am I supposed to say to that?"
The muscle in his jaw tensed. "The appropriate answer would be 'yes'."
She couldn't make sense of any of it. Everything kept mixing in her head. Didn't he reject her back in Colombia? Add that to all the other times he'd rejected her and she felt bruised. If she opened her heart to him completely—only to have him reject her again—it would devastate her. She didn't know if she'd be able to recover.
"I—" She couldn't think of a single word she wanted to say. "I don't—"
He let her go and stepped back, and she felt the distance like a tear in the atmosphere. He turned away from her, but not before she saw the complete devastation cloud his eyes. His shoulders rose and lowered in rhythm with his breathing. She could hear him muttering his favorite round of curses.
He shook his head. "I see."
How could he see? Understand? She didn't say anything.
And then she got it. He thought she was turning him down. "Dan—"
"I'll let you get back to what you were doing." His tone bit into her. He glanced back over his shoulder at her and gave her one last once over.
And started toward the door.
JT's world crumbled. If he walked out that door, she knew she'd never see him again. That would be more than she could take. "Dan, wait."
"I can't," he answered, his back to her. He made it to the door and stopped, his hand resting on the doorknob. "I have your answer. There's nothing else you need to say. It's okay."
No, it wasn't okay. It was the total opposite of okay. Just when she didn't think she had another tear left in her, her eyes swelled and stung with a fresh batch. "Can't you give me five seconds?"
"JT," he sighed. He lowered his head and bumped his forehead against the door. Knowing that was as much as he was going to give her turned her distress into passion.
"Turn around and look at me right now before I take that cane and beat you with it."
When he did, she gasped when she saw the red in his eyes. The impervious Dan Weber had finally fallen.
For her. The tension in the room shattered.
"Yes," she said, barely above a whisper.
He lifted his head. "What did you say?"
She looked at him, the smile that had started in her heart only moments ago moved to her face. "Yes."
His mouth opened. He then snapped it shut. "Yes?"
"Yes," she repeated with more conviction. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She ran over to him and threw her arms around him, kissing him all over. "Oh
God
, yes! I want to marry you. I want to be with you forever."
"Jesus, woman. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" He stated and lowered his lips to hers. She gave herself freely to the passion of his kiss, feeling so much love for this man she feared her heart would burst. He traced her lips with his tongue, and the pleasure made her quiver.
"I love you, JT."
"And I am
so
in love with you." She laughed, the tears that had filled her eyes now streaming down her face. As he dropped the cane, he lifted her into his arms.
"I made a promise to your uncle I would take care of you. And I will. Forever. That's my promise to you as well."
"My hero," JT purred and squeezed him. He grunted.
"Easy," he mumbled. "I'm still bruised from ass to elbow."
"Quit being such a baby and kiss me."
He smiled against her lips. "My pleasure."