Assuming Room Temperature (Keep Your Crowbar Handy Book 3) (6 page)

“I’m good here.” His face was a combination of pleasure and embarrassment.

Elle wiggled her hips a bit. “I can tell.”

Leo’s face went even more crimson.

Kat started the Troll’s engine, revved it once, and set them rolling south at a steady thirty-five miles per hour. While heavy machine could move much,
much
faster if need be, driving at a high rate of speed in the middle of a zombie apocalypse was an overall bad idea. There were quite a few wrecked cars on the motorways (sometimes even the back roads they traveled), debris from long-since abandoned barricades where the authorities had tried (and failed) to keep the infected at bay, along with useless household and personal items people had discarded as they fled the creatures. Oh, and zombies.

Can’t forget about them.
Kat thought, when she noticed a creature someone had pinned to the corner of the town’s small, Frosty Freeze ice cream hut. With an Oldsmobile. The thing looked like it had been there for months, pounding away on the car’s hood as it continued its attempts to get free.

Mel was rubber-necking at everything in the Troll’s interior. The pair of RPG’s held firmly to the back of its front seats with bungee straps, the Long-Arm sniper rifle resting in its quick-release brackets which Foster had mounted facing the rear window on the roof’s interior, the two-way radio secured to the console with lengths of duct tape, and—finally—the “Hello Kitty” bobble-head Kat had affixed dead center on the dashboard with bonding epoxy.

“Wow.” The girl was a little taken back, not only by the amount of weaponry they had access to, but also the somewhat slap-dash modifications inside the cab.

“She’s not pretty, but she’s got it where it counts, kid,” Henry told her, straight-faced.

“Heresy, I tell you.” Kat said loftily, as she steered around an old Ford missing all of its window glass, smeared with zombie goop. “Stylish steel-plated corpse pusher in the front, appealingly armored body, lots of room for oversized-yet-smart-mouthed-minions and weapons of destruction. No air conditioning, but hey, we can have all the windows down without worrying about the infected reaching through the reinforced bars. The Troll is damn sexy.”

Mel stifled a giggle as they continued north, away from her hiding place and the horror her last few months in Vanita had been.

CHAPTER THREE

After heading through the town to Route 69, motoring east, then circling south, then east again off the exit to Route 28, Kat brought their Hummer to a halt before a massive steel barrier that butted up on both sides against the Neosho River.

It had been a relatively uneventful trip. Which is to say, the little group of survivors had seen fewer than ten infected over the course of their drive. In a great show of restraint, the blue-haired Asian had only flattened one of them with the heavy vehicle. The one that reminded Kat of her previous boss at the pharmacy she’d worked in, prior to the outbreak.

“Um. Where are we?” Mel asked quietly. The girl had been huddled up, her skinny arms wrapped around her knees in the passenger seat, ever since they started moving towards the town of Langley, Oklahoma.

“We’re going to meet up with our friends, Mel.” Henry replied from the back seat. The big man reached up to pat her shoulder gently. “Don’t worry, it’s safe. We’ve been here for nearly three weeks and in all that time, we’ve only had a handful of those things
show up at the barricade.”

The grubby teen seemed to take heart at that, and gave Sampson a weak grin. She even relaxed a bit as Kat turned on the two-way, took hold of the mic, and spoke into it.

“Prometheus, this is Bluebell, over.”

Mel looked confused. “Bluebell?”

Elle left off nibbling on Leo’s ear. “That’s Kat’s radio handle. Her hair, you know? We use code words when we’re transmitting. That way, anyone who’s listening in won’t be able to learn too much about us.”

“There are others alive out there?” From her expression, Mel obviously found that hard to believe.

“A few, we think,” Elle told her. “Not many. And some of them aren’t the kind of people you’d want to meet. We ran into one group of them a while back. Let’s just say we agreed to disagree.”

A female voice came back over the cab’s speaker, causing Mel to jump.

“Prometheus here, Bluebell.”

“All good here, plus one.” Kat said, looking towards the top of the barrier. “How does the weather look?”

“Pretty hot right now,”
the voice said blandly, “N
o hopes for a breeze today yet.”

“That means there are no infected in the area. They’re cold to the touch.” Kat told her and queued the microphone again. “We made some ice cubes earlier.”

“Wanna use the sauna?”

Kat waved through the windshield. “That’d be fun.”

Mel was totally lost. She turned hesitantly to Elle and quietly asked. “Who is that?”

“That’s Gwen. She’s one of the other women in our little party.” The blonde replied in a low voice, so not to be heard over the radio’s microphone. “See up on top of the building there on the Grand Cherokee Golf Course? At least one of us is on watch with a sniper rifle whenever we go out to resupply. Helps keep the maggot-heads from gathering too close, or getting too curious.”

The voice gave a laugh.
“Dead-eye and Hot Rod will be happy to help you with the steam. I’ll tell them to turn it on for you, Bluebell.”

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll be sure to bring extra towels.” Kat rolled her eyes and shut the radio down again.

“Well, we have been out of contact for hours. It’s a given the others would be pretty worried and upset, considering.” Sampson scratched his ear.

“Upset hell,” Elle chuckled from her seat on Leo’s lap. “Rae’s gonna be
pissed.
Anytime her precious machine here is out of her sight for more than ten minutes, she freaks. Which is strange, actually. She didn’t used to act that way when Jake—”

“She’ll get over it.” Kat said quickly. While the gorgeous brunette was a force to be reckoned with, Kat was no push-over herself. Despite her vapid-vixen act. They
had
put her in charge, after all.

A large section of the barricade slid to one side, and the indigo-haired woman dropped their Hummer into drive once more. As the barrier moved, Mel realized it was actually welded steel plate that completely covered the entire passenger side of a dump truck. Once Cho drove the Hummer through the gap, it backed up again to seal the hole—creating a solid wall once more—and the driver shut down its engine. When the driver’s door opened, Mel was surprised to see a lovely, dark-haired woman—sporting a pair of Daisy Dukes along with her twin Berettas—at the wheel.

“That’s Deputy Penny Carson.” Henry told her as the woman hopped from the truck, slammed the door shut, and jogged for the Hummer.

The girl noticed that Penny—like Kat and Elle—was well endowed in the lung department, even though Carson wore a many-pocketed tactical vest that didn’t really hug her figure. That was a sore spot for Mel. It seemed like she was
never
going to get boobs and here she was, surrounded by women that looked like they’d been pulled straight from the “Post-Apocalyptic Super-Hottie Pin-up Calendar.” Now that she thought about it, Penny looked quite a bit like that female MMA fighter, Gina Carano.

“She’s been with our group when they were in Ohio, before I joined up. She was with the Bainbridge Sheriff’s Department, and she doesn’t take crap from stinky teenagers.” Henry attempted to keep a straight face, but failed miserably.

Mel stuck her tongue out at him, which caused Cho to laugh as Penny hopped on the Hummer’s driver side running board. That gave the ‘stinky teenager’ a better chance to get a good look at her. Penny Carson was admittedly attractive. Dark wavy hair, dark eyes with a healthy crop of lashes, full lips, and a firm jaw rode over some feminine attributes the girl hoped she’d possess soon herself. She was short though. Barely an inch or two taller than Mel’s own diminutive five foot four height, which made the woman much shorter than any of her companions.

“Thought you guys got chomped or something!” Penny waved at the six men standing atop the barricade as Cho dropped their Humvee into gear and drove over the first of two bridges.

These were actually two of three dams that stemmed the deep waters of the Neosho River, south-western side of the Grand Lake O’ the Cherokees. The bridges bracketed each side of a once-lush golf course, creating a natural island that could be used as a fallback point if the town above and to the east was overrun.

The third dam also sat upon Route 28 on the southern tip of the Cherokee Riverside State Park, east side of Langley. It was equipped with barricade as well to provide security against zombie intrusion, but with some additions.

An observation tower just inside the wall, provided by an upturned school bus was the first. This had been done by standing it up tail-first—after removing its engine, transmission and front axle—and then using a pair of John Deere 544j Earthmovers to hold the tower in place, until it had been welded directly to the dump truck’s passenger side. The barrier also had a series of foot-long, one-inch thick, sharpened rebar spikes—pointed down at a forty-five degree angle—at the top of its twelve-foot edge. A trio of cargo vans provided a walkway on the interior side—just like the other barrier on the western side—for those on watch could view the road stretching eastward. Mel didn’t know about the blockade to the east, but she could tell these people had a safe, secure little area—and weren’t hurting for either supplies or manpower—as Cho drove them into the parking lot of the Langley Post Office.

A stunningly beautiful woman stood just outside the threshold. She wore a pair of combat boots, black fatigue pants and a grease-stained, white tank top that kept her impressive breasts firmly in place.

She also held a huge, mega-sized rifle that had an under-barrel grenade launcher.

Elle rolled her eyes. “Proof, that bigger isn’t always better.”

“Believe me, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Leo assured her. He didn’t even glance at Rae as Kat maneuvered their ride towards one of the dock doors, despite her obvious ‘endowments.’ Young Salizar only had eyes for the well-turned blonde Sargent currently occupying space on his lap.

Elle gave him a wink. “If I thought for a second I did, I’d separate you from your dangly bits. But you’re still sweet for saying so, regardless. We’ll talk. Later.”

Leo smiled at her compliment and reached into the bed for their weapons.

“She almost had kittens when you didn’t come back on time.” Penny said beneath the roar of their hummer. “And let me tell you, that girl has a hell of a vocabulary. I’m still considering looking up some of the words she used bitching about it.”

Kat shrugged one slim shoulder. “So, what else is new? Anything else happen I should know about? Someone find the Holy Grail in their Wheaties? Excalibur suddenly sticking out of a rock in front of the Town Hall? Martians swooping down in flying saucers to invade Earth? No? Excellent.”

“You wish! I’m headed for some shut-eye. Got a date tonight, and I’m hoping not to get any sleep after dinner. Good luck with Rae. I know she’s a pain in the ass, but don’t kill her. She’s more intelligent than both of us put together, and we might need her big brain before all this is over.” Penny hopped from the running board and headed for one of the single occupancy shelters at Roger’s Rock Cabins, the local ‘theme’ lodging site.

Rae shouldered her hulking weapon as they rolled closer, and walked next to the driver’s door as the Humvee rolled up to the vehicle door. “It’s about damn time! You’ve been gone for four hours you know. Did you stop for pizza somewhere or what?”

Kat smiled brightly and put on her most absentminded expression. “Sorry, Rae. We checked the roads south and got sidetracked looking for supplies. Then we found another survivor! Then we had to fight some infected! Then we had to make sure the ones we killed were all actually dead, and then we had to circle the town and head south again, so…”

“Alright, alright! Enough!” The fixer sighed and rolled her blue eyes heavenward. “Seriously Kat. You know your whole, fake bubble-head act makes my hair hurt. Why you hide your intelligence is beyond me, by that’s your choice. Next time just make sure to check in, okay?”

“Will do! Cross my heart.” Kat set the vehicle’s parking brake, and the others gathered their gear as she hopped out to talk with the irate woman.

Saying that Rae was attractive was like saying that water was wet, the summer sun was warm, and flies were annoying. Truth be told, she could’ve been a twin to Audrina Patridge. Her mane of light brown hair flowed around a very pretty face, displaying deep blue eyes and full kissable lips. Her waist was slim and curved pleasantly into what could only be termed as “American hips” which sat atop a pair of eye-turning, shapely legs.

Even if they were covered by stained and oil spotted fatigues.

Rae had been a fixer, like the aging George Foster. That meant she’d been in charge of manning—and maintaining—a clandestine safe-house filled with equipment and weaponry, for use during “domestic maneuvers.” As it turned out, the federal government had squirreled away munitions, money, and supplies of food around most of the continental United States. The caches had been well-disguised, constructed within the interiors of already existing structures, and heavily fortified. Now, after months of daily encounters with the creatures, Kat remembered the two-foot thick, steel-reinforced walls of Rae and Foster’s respective hideaways fondly. The buildings might have been built to withstand the force of a thermonuclear blast, but they were more than sufficient to hold back the dead currently roaming the streets. Their little group could have stayed within either location, and remained safe from the clutching hands of the infected in relative comfort.

Kat and the others had found it necessary to leave their hidden haven, however. The problem was they wouldn’t have had enough food to survive long term—in either location—even if they’d been able to combine supplies from both cashes. There was no help coming, as they’d discovered prior to the internet servers all crapping out, for a
minimum
of three years. The powers that be—along with what was left of the military—had pulled back beyond the Rocky Mountains, and were currently licking their wounds as they attempted to create some semblance of normalcy. The troops were holding the borders of the territory, after destroying bridges and access points, but had nowhere near enough men to attempt retaking any of the once proud nation. It would be years before the resources could be stockpiled to even
begin
making advances into ground currently occupied by the dead. That meant anyone east of the mountains was on their own. So Jake, his best friend Allen, and Foster had come up with a plan. It was well thought out and logical, but—as Jake’s ex-girlfriend Nichole had once put it—utterly, fucking, bat-shit crazy.

So of course, they’d all agreed it was their only chance.

“Rae, this is Mel.” Kat motioned the filthy girl over after Sampson helped the leery teen out of their Hummer. “She found us just after we salvaged supplies—”

“Why can’t you just say looted?” Rae gave her an amused look.

“If there’s no one left alive it’s not looting. It’s
salvage,
” Kat replied. “We’ve had this discussion. As I was saying before I was interrupted? Mel found us just after we obtained some supplies at the local drug store. She’s been on her own since the day of the outbreak and she’s the last living person in Vanita, as far as we know.”

The beautiful fixer turned and gave her a warm smile. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mel. You survived on your own all this time? That makes you sneaky
and
smart. Two qualities that seem to be a little thin on the ground within our group at the moment.”

“Hey!” Kat heard the gigantic Sampson chuckle.

“You
do
realize George is livid, don’t you?” Rae advised her.

More chuckling came from the direction of the Humvee. When Cho turned to look, she saw Elle was fighting a grin as Leo faked a fit of coughing to cover one of his own. The ninja-girl gave them a level glare and raised one eyebrow. “Don’t the three of you have weapons to clean?”

“Hi, Rae.” Mel came forward hesitantly as the still laughing trio moved off into the garage. “Nice to meet you. Um... Can I ask you something?”