ASIM_issue_54 (3 page)

The forest spirits were the first people at Kuala Ketam, before all the immigrants came. You know what they look like: tall, pointy-pointy ear, their skin greyish-brown like the tree trunk, eyes very big compared to ours. Their faces are hard to describe. Are they good-looking? Depends who you ask. This kind of thing differs from race to race; different-different people will think their own people only beautiful. It’s what you’re used to that matters mah. But even so, most races agree that forest spirits are quite sui kuan. Not bad.

Because they come first, the forest spirits are very possessive of the land, and they are the ones who know the land. So there are rules. Before you dig a hole, you must get your freedom of the land from the local forest spirit. Never think you can own the tree you are living in—only forest spirits can own the trees, because they are the true owner of the land. You are only renter.

The only exception is rowan tree. The rowan tree got no forest spirit of its own. That’s why you must never dig hole near a rowan tree: rowan trees are damn noisy. So many spirits living in the same tree, it’s very crowded, and they non-stop fight. Why your baby so noisy lah, why you so smelly lah, why your feet pointing the wrong way around lah—everybody shouting like there’s no tomorrow. Spirits are like that. They don’t know how to serve other people, they don’t know how to get along.

But what to do? We’re all put on this land together; somehow or other we must learn to put up with each other. That’s why you must follow rule, learn to respect other cultures, don’t offend the gods if can avoid it. Even if the rules are stupid, even if you’re not religious, even if you don’t like other people’s customs, these things must keep in your heart. Outside must be polite a bit, never mind if you really feel that way or not. That’s what we do, we all earth people. That’s why we don’t get into trouble even though we’re not powerful. Even the richest earth spirit knows how to behave, so people don’t kacau them. That’s how you get through life.

My mother taught me all this, so I knew I must follow the adat. The morning after I finish digging my new hole, I went to look for the forest spirit.

They say deep in the jungle got no undergrowth, because the trees grow very tall and they got a lot of leaves, so the sunlight cannot reach the ground. I don’t know if this kind of thing is true or not. Earth spirits don’t go deep into the jungle. I walk small way into the trees already I feel nervous.

Because why? Because I know it’s not my place. Everybody is like that: the sea spirit must stick to the sea; they live in river also don’t like. Their children might get used to it, and for their children the river will become home. But for the sea spirit who is born in the sea, they cannot be comfortable anywhere else. And I was born in the earth.

So in the forest I kept close to myself, kept myself small, show I know I am only a visitor. You don’t have to try so hard to look for the forest spirit of your land. The land knows who it belongs to. I just followed the slope of the earth, and it led me to its master.

The forest spirit saw me before I saw it. It was sitting in its tree, very relaxed. All these forest spirits, their tree is like some kind of kopitiam to them, like a cafe like that. They sit there drinking teh tarik all day. Very lazy people.

“Oi, boss,” it said. “You going where, boss?”

It jumped down from its tree, landing on its feet. It look like all forest spirits—tall, pointy ear, big smile. It didn’t look male or female. Forest spirits don’t have these concept. They say male or female has no meaning. They don’t like to follow rule. Like I said, they are very lazy.

We earth people, we all like to have everything clear. I always think the forest spirit’s life must be very messy if they cannot even decide whether they are boy or girl.

I admit, I was a bit scared. Forest spirits don’t know what is boundaries when it comes to people. Land, yes. But people, they don’t know where to draw the line.

The forest spirit looked at me, its head first on one side, then on the other side, moving very fast like a bird. It stood very close. Its eyes look strange to me.

“Sorry I come into your area, sir,” I said. “I want to set up hole here. Can I have the freedom of the land?”

I bowed. When you bow to the forest spirit, you must put your hands together and bend your head so your forehead touches your finger. If it is a big forest spirit you can bend your back a bit, but only a bit. You must not respect too much. Only bend to your waist when a god is passing by.

“Ah, hole ah,” it said, like it was thinking like that. All forest spirits talk like they are singing. “Hole ah hole ah hole. Hole. Where?”

“In the bank of Sungai Udang, near the mangrove tree there,” I said.

“Near the river,” it said. “The river god like you or not?”

I paused. “I don’t know.”

It held up one finger. “Okay, not to worry. This very easy to find out. You slept one night in the hole already, right?”

I thought I knew what it was trying to say. “Yes, sorry, sir. I only finish digging late at night and I didn’t want to kacau you—”

It waved its hand impatiently. “All that never mind. I ask you. Are you dead?”

“Hah?”

I hope you will not say ‘hah?’ to people like that. I only talk like that because I was surprised. When you don’t understand something, you must say, “I beg your pardon?” That is the polite way to say in Occi.

“Are you dead?” said the forest spirit. “Did she try to drown you?”

“No!” I said. “I am alive what. If she drown me I would be dead, right?”

“How I know? Earth can swallow rain. Maybe earth spirit cannot drown.” It looked at my face. Then it said, “Looks like the river likes you. Now only left for me to decide.”

It smiled.

There’s a saying:
never tell a crocodile a joke, never let a forest spirit smile at you
. Both things are equally dangerous, because when a crocodile laughs it opens its mouth big-big, and when a forest spirit smiles …

I think you don’t know how dangerous that is until you see a forest spirit smile. But by then it’s too late.

I thought I was irritated. I don’t like people who are all over the place. Like most earth spirits, I like things to be neat, sensible. Of course forest spirits are not sensible.

“I work hard,” I said stiffly. “I will be very quiet. I won’t make fight with the other spirits or use more than my fair share of the land. If you give me the freedom of the land, I won’t misuse it.”

“Yalah,” said the forest spirit. “All this I can tell from your face. I very clever like that. But earth spirit who work hard and follow rule, everywhere also can find. The question is: does the land like you?”

This I couldn’t answer. I can make friends with the earth. When I dug my hole at Kuala Ketam, the earth was happy; its voices sang to me. But the land is not the same thing as the earth. There are many-many voices in the land: water-voices, air-voices, animal-voices, spirit-voices, tree-voices. The voice of the land is too big for an earth spirit to hear.

“How I know? You should know that what,” I said. “It’s your land.”

“True, true,” said the forest spirit, as if it never thought of this before. It wrinkled its forehead and looked serious, but it was like a child pretending to listen to the teacher.

“I think it’s not sure lah, boss,” it said finally. “Tell you what, I let the land think about you, tomorrow I ask how it feels. Tomorrow you come again. Tomorrow can know.”

I was outraged. Forest spirits are so inefficient!

“Tomorrow!” I said. “Meanwhile where I sleep?”

“In the hole lah,” it said. “If the river didn’t drown you last night, it won’t drown you tonight.”

“ ‘The river won’t drown you!’ That’s all very well, but what about the land? I no protection from the spirits then how?”

“I’ll tell them not to kacau you for now,” it said. It smiled again. “One night is OK. The land won’t mind one night. Tomorrow you come, boss.”

I should have known from the smile. Two smiles from a forest spirit I never met before! Aiyah, I was very young and innocent. I knew how to make my way in the world, but I didn’t know how forest spirits think. I didn’t understand that forest spirits are not sensible. They are not like us earth spirits, worry about hole, worry about parents and children and past and future. To them, the only important thing is happiness, and their happiness is different from our one.

Still, I was quite happy with my own happiness when I went to sleep that night. I had my own hole. Soon I would have the freedom of the land, and then I could start working.

That’s what I thought.

But the forest spirits have a saying. In Occi, it translates to something like: tomorrow also can.

How I know forest spirits have this kind of saying? Because I heard it every day when I went to visit the forest spirit after that. Every day I went and ask: ‘Can I have the freedom of the land?’ Every day, cannot start work, cannot do anything useful—must go to this fellow and drink tea and ask question.

By the second day already I stopped calling it ‘sir’. This kind of person there’s no point trying to respect. No matter whether you are rude or polite, they won’t change their behaviour, but at least you will feel better if you shout at them a bit.

It never said no. It was never so straightforward. Every day: ‘Sorry lah, boss. I asked the land, but it still not sure.’

‘Cannot lah, boss, cannot rush the land. The land must make up its own mind. We wait first. You want tea? My mother make from her own toenails, it’s very good!’

‘Come tomorrow lah, tomorrow also can. What’s the rush?’

Finally I said, “You ask me what’s the rush?”

Earth spirits are not made to drink a lot of tea. My stomach didn’t feel so good, and I was losing patience.

“I want to go to work, okay,” I shouted. “I have parents! I want to send money Back hole! I want to give them grandchildren! I am not like you. My life is not long. Every tomorrow you give me means another today is wasted.
Tomorrow won’t do!
”

Its face changed, but I couldn’t read its expression. The faces of forest spirits are too alien, I thought to myself. Their sadness and happiness look different from our sadness and happiness.

“That’s true,” it said. “Your life is very short.” Forest spirits live for long-long time, like their trees, like their land. Otherwise the land would die—the land must have its spirit.

The earth people have a different path. We must have children, so our children can carry on our legacy. We cannot waste time.

“Have you found a husband yet?” said the forest spirit.

“Hah?” I thought the forest spirit was joking maybe, but it seemed quite serious. “None of your business!”

“Don’t have yet? Then you’re right. Shouldn’t waste more time,” it said. “Tomorrow you come. Tomorrow sure got answer.”

“Chau chibai, go to hell. ‘Tomorrow sure got answer’ my foot.”

“Yes,” said the forest spirit serenely. “Tomorrow sure can one. Tomorrow, boss, tomorrow.”

I didn’t believe. I was very angry. When I walked Back to my hole I said to myself: if I stay here with this fellow, I will sure go cuckoo. What the hell, what’s its problem? I should just leave.

But for some reason I didn’t. I thought: never mind lah. It’s a good location. The soil is well-drained; the earth is friendly. The forest spirit even say the river like me … it’s not easy to find such a good spot near the water. Probably all forest spirits are like this also. Maybe this time it meant it when it said tomorrow.

Maybe I hoped it wasn’t telling the truth, and tomorrow it will tell me again, ‘Come tomorrow, boss.’ Usually forest spirits don’t talk much to the spirits on its land. Once the forest spirit gave me the freedom of the land, that’s it, must say goodbye already. I probably won’t see it again. And I quite liked its smile.

But that night I changed my mind. I was sleeping in my hole when I woke up suddenly. I didn’t know why I woke up. The earth felt happy and all the night noises were normal. Nothing seemed wrong.

I was about to go to sleep again when I heard it. The hissing.

I sat up and pressed my back to the good kind earth. I could see shapes in the dark. And the hissing, getting louder:
ssss
 …

They tell stories about the dark. My parents told me. Not to scare me. They told me to protect me, so I would know.

We earth people live in our holes because we have to stay close to the earth. You can only hear the voices of the earth if you live in it, sleep next to it, wake up and say good morning to it every day. And you can only be an earth spirit if you hear the voices of the earth. That is our power. It’s not a big power, it cannot even make a god sneeze, but it gives us our rice and our children and our future. We cannot do anything without the earth.

But there are other things underground in the dark, things that belong to the dark, not to the earth or the air or anything good and useful. Spirits we don’t know. What they want, we who breathe air and drink water cannot understand. All we know is that sometimes you can have a good hole, you can have the best hole anyone ever have; you can live well and honour the gods and respect your parents—but one night the dark will come, and the next morning your hole will be empty.

These things happen. Nothing can stop it. But you are a bit safer if you have the freedom of the land, because even the dark is part of the land and respects its wishes.

So I pressed myself against the earth and thought,
Fuck that stupid fucker
. ‘I’ll tell them not to kacau you for now’ pulak. Nobody can tell the dark what to do except the land. If the forest spirit gave me the freedom of the land, maybe this won’t happen. I thought:
If I die, I hope I get reincarnated into a mosquito so I can
bite that fucker kau-kau
.

And all the time that
ssss
sound got closer and closer, and the smell of vomit filled the hole. I closed my eyes so I won’t have to see.

Then something grabbed my face with little hands. A voice like the wind in a graveyard said: “Mama?”

I opened my eyes and saw a toyol.

I screamed. Maybe you will think I too pengecut, but I hate toyol. I stand tahan the way they act like real babies. They make me feel damn geli. This one smelt even worse than toyol usually do, because on top of the smell of rotting flesh, it had vomit on its bib.