Ascension (6 page)

He put his head in his hands. “I say again that you underestimate me, Bella.”

She was about to tell him that he was wrong, but he put his hand up.

“I have also changed in the last four years. War has altered my view of the world. I do not know exactly what has happened here while I was away, and it is unfortunate that you cannot trust me enough to share the information. It is my belief that we should make an effort to accept that we have both been altered by circumstances and perhaps get to know each other again.”

“I do not think that’s a good idea.”

“Hear me out. If we end our betrothal then the gossip will be terrible, and you shall have to bear the brunt of it. Men of wealth are much more easily forgiven in our circles as you well know.”

“That is so unfair,” she lamented.

“Yes, well, fair or not, it is the society in which we live. My plan saves you the embarrassment of a broken betrothal at least for the time being. If after you have spent some time with me, you still feel our marriage would be untenable, we can separate, and I shall harbor no ill will.”

He was correct. There would be a terrible scandal if she broke off their engagement. And because he was only back from war a few short weeks, the gossips would relish dragging her through the dirt. Scandal would bring attention to her and that wouldn’t be good. She couldn’t have the entire
ton
focused on her every move. “I will agree under one condition.”

“What is that?”

She gulped in a deep breath of air. Her nerves bubbled in her gut far worse than in the demons cell. Her heart raced and her throat tightened. “If at any time, you find that the changes in me are too unbearable, you also have the ability to step away without any undue rancor. This shall be an equal test, Gabriel.”

He smiled wide and his joy was contagious. Telling herself that this would only delay the inevitable did not lessen the happiness pushing its way into her heart.

“We have an agreement then?” She put her hand out as a man might do.

“We have a deal.” He took her offered hand and shook it before pulling her closer and pressing his lips to hers.

His mouth sent a wave of shudders down her body. Her head emptied of all the reasons why she could no longer love Gabriel. Her focus diverted to the delights of his lips. His tongue pressed at the seam between her lips and the cool wetness made her gasp.

Gabriel plunged his tongue into her mouth. She touched her tongue to his, and he moaned in response. She clutched at his jacket pulling him closer even though her brain screamed to push him away.

He scooped her onto his lap, his rigid member pressing curiously against her bottom. She wiggled, settling his erection at the top of her thigh. Only their clothing separated her from the inevitable loss of her virginity. She had no fear. Desire curled in her belly and she shook with need. She had a fleeting worry that he would feel the weapons she concealed under the skirt, but he gave no indication of anything unexpected.

“I want you, Bella.” His mouth still touched hers and his words sent a vibration to her core.

Belinda’s body screamed for her to let him take her right there in the garden. She might be a virgin, but she was not innocent. She had seen things most people couldn’t imagine. She had killed demons, nearly died, fought for her life and saved the lives of her friends. What was the point of holding on to the idea of innocence when every fiber inside her demanded she yield?

She ground her bottom against his rod.

Gabriel groaned and his lips slid to her neck where he made a trail of light kisses all the way up to her ear. His breath circled that sensitive orifice, and she gasped again. Her body shuddered and hummed while tiny jolts traveled down and created a yearning between her thighs.

“I need…” She couldn’t finish the sentence.

His teeth tugged her earlobe. “Yes, what do you need, my love?”

Her mind couldn’t find the words to describe the hunger she experienced as he touched and licked his way back down her neck to the swell of her breast above her gown. His fingers dipped below the neckline, and her breast tumbled from the fabric and into his waiting palm. More sensations filled her, until was close to screaming just to find some release.

His mouth covered her nipple and she threw her head back and clutched his head to her body. The feel of his hand sliding down her skirts brought her back to reality. What would Gabriel think if he found trousers under her gown or the knives she concealed under those skirts? She didn’t want to know the answer. Not tonight.

“Stop.” She didn’t recognize her own voice gasping for air and filled with passion.

Gabriel’s head immediately came up and he stared at her.

“I must go in the house.”

Those stark eyes regarded her for a long moment. “You are probably right.” He gently removed her from his lap and placed her back on the bench next to him.

The bulge in his breeches was unmistakable.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

He laughed and took her hand. Before she knew what he was about, he placed it on his hard cock. “This will wait, Bella, but I hope you will not make me wait forever.”

She should have been shocked. She should have pulled her hand away and run for the back door of the townhouse. A proper lady would need salts to recover from such an experience.

Belinda was no proper lady. She found herself curious about him. She lightly stroked the shaft.

“Bella, do you know what you do to me?”

“I know that you like this, Gabriel. I know that I liked what you did to me the other night.” She pulled her hand away and kissed his rough cheek. “I also know that we are a world apart.” Sorrow tightened in her chest and spilled out into her last words.

He smiled and stood.

She also rose from the bench and straightened the top of her dress.

“Time may have created some distance between us, Bella, but we will come together. I will have my answers and so shall you. I am not the same boy who left you to fight four years ago, yet you are so self-absorbed you might not have noticed the change.”

She opened her mouth to deny his claim, but then closed it again. She really couldn’t argue with what he said. She’d asked him nothing about his experience in France. Never once had it occurred to her that he might have changed as well. She would give the matter some thought. She inclined her head. “Will you call tomorrow then?”

With a nod, he took her hand and kissed the palm. His tongue slipped out and traced a circle there. Belinda gasped and tugged her hand away.

“Good-night, Bella.”

She turned without another word and went to the house.

Thoughts of Belinda’s firm rounded bottom nestled on his lap haunted his night and kept sleep at bay. The way she had touched his cock had kept him hard long after he’d returned to his own townhome and tucked himself in to bed. Two glasses of brandy had eventually pushed him into a fitful slumber, which had not lasted very long.

It seemed only polite to wait until late in the morning to call on his fiancée, since he knew she had been up until nearly dawn. At shortly before noon, the butler admitted him to the parlor of the Clayton townhouse.

“Lady Belinda has not yet come down this morning, my lord.”

The butler was quite young for the post. It was uncommon for a butler in an earl’s home to be less than a curmudgeon. The man was probably in his late twenties. His shoulders were broad and the livery strained across his chest and back. He looked more the part of a street thug or a bodyguard than a butler. “It is Faust, correct?” Gabriel asked.

The young man’s eyes widened. Perhaps he was surprised an earl would bother to remember his name. “Yes, my lord.”

“Were you still about last evening when Lady Belinda arrived home?”

Faust’s wide eyes narrowed and he pulled his shoulders back. At his full height, he towered over Gabriel.

The butler knew what Bella was up to at night.

After a pause, Faust responded as any seasoned servant might have done. “I always wait for my lady to arrive home before retiring.”

“A very well thought out answer.”

“Thank you, my lord.”

Whatever Faust’s purpose beyond managing the other servants might be, and he suspected he had other duties. Gabriel liked the butler. “You’re not going to tell me anything, are you, Faust?”

The butler’s face changed once again to the staid mask of his profession. “It would not be my place to offer information outside the family, my lord. I hope you will forgive me.”

“Of course. Will you have the maid alert Lady Belinda of my arrival?” He couldn’t fault the butler for loyalty. He wanted to know what his beloved was up to until the pre-dawn hours, but he admired the servant for his devotion.

“She has already been informed, my lord.”

“Thank you.”

Faust slipped from the parlor.

Gabriel studied the books that lined the shelves. Most were of little interest, tomes common in almost every fine home in London. An ancient volume with faded gold lettering, stuck out from the rest. Perhaps it had been put away hastily.
Guide to the Underworld
.

He touched the rough binding. “What in the world?”

The door creaked. He smiled and turned.

Unfortunately, his grin was wasted. Belinda was not in the room, and her mother wavered on her feet. The countess was already in her cups even at that early hour. It was quite sad that a woman of her rank, beauty, and advantages had needed to turn to the bottle.

“Lord Gabriel, how wonderful to see you again. It is rather early for a call.”

Gabriel bowed. “It is nearly luncheon, my lady.”

She giggled girlishly. “Is it? How silly of me.” She waved her hand in dismissal of the notion. The motion of her own fingers grabbed her attention and she stared at them while continuing to wave her hand in front of her face. Her eyes became distant and empty.

More than just drink, opium perhaps.

Gabriel stepped forward and offered the lady his arm. It wouldn’t do for her ladyship to collapse and injure herself in the parlor. “Lady Clayton, it is good to see you again.”

She turned and smiled as if seeing him for the first time. “I’m so glad you’re here, my lord. I want to speak to you about Belinda. She seems to have fallen into some kind of trouble. I think she is in need of help. You must help her.”

His heart pounded. Was it even possible, in her current state, Belinda’s mother knew what was happening with her daughter? He didn’t think so, but any lead into Belinda’s nocturnal actions might help. He led her to a chair and handed her into it. “Why do you say such a thing, ma’am?”

“I know you will think I am mad, but I know what I know.” Lady Clayton’s face was pale and her eyes too large. Belinda was the image of her mother, but time and bad habits had taken their toll on the older woman.

“What do you know?” He kept his voice even and calm.

“It was not my fault. Her father should have been here.” A tear spilled and she clutched the edge of the chair.

“Yes, of course.” He had no idea what she was rambling about, but agreeing that it was his lordship’s fault seemed the best response.

“When she disappeared I thought I’d go mad. I called the runners, but they could not find her.” Her words were stringing together rapidly. A flood of tears ran down her cheeks while her breath came in short gasps.

Gabriel touched her shoulder. “Who disappeared?”

“Belinda.”

His first instinct was to rush out and find his fiancée, but he already knew from the butler that she was still above. Even knowing that fact, his heart raced and a sheen of sweat formed on his brow.

He kept his voice soft trying to sooth her. “When was this, my lady?”

Confusion flushed her face.

“It was a long time ago,” Belinda said from the doorway. She glided into the room in a light blue day dress and sat down next to her mother. “I came home and all was well, Mother. I came home.”

Tears streamed down the countess’s face. She touched Belinda’s cheek. “Yes, my sweet girl. You came home.”

“See that, Mother. All is well.” Belinda’s voice was as gentle as the summer wind. She hugged her mother to her breast. When she looked up her eyes glistened with tears, but she didn’t shed any.

His heart tightened painfully filling his chest. In that moment, he loved her more than ever, this gentle woman he remembered. It was the first glimpse he’d had of the old Belinda since his return from war. Holding her mother, she showed the sweetness he yearned for.

“I will just take my mother to her bed, my lord. Do you have time to wait or shall we meet another day?”

“I will wait.” Gabriel made a concerted effort not to jump to any conclusions based on what Lady Clayton had said. She was obviously not a reliable source of information. But there was something to it. Belinda had not denied her disappearance.

She returned from seeing her mother to bed, silent as a cat, but her light feminine scent filled his head more thoroughly than any drug.

“What did she mean, Bella?”

“My mother is not well, Gabriel. You cannot rely on her for the information you seek.” Her lovely face was a mask of composure but the distress in her eyes betrayed her. She made her way to a grouping of chairs and sat.

A maid entered with a tea tray. Claire looked nervously from her lady to him.

Belinda looked at the maid a long moment. Her head twitched in approval.

The servant nodded once before leaving them.

“Then perhaps you would care to tell me what she was talking about?” He made his way over and accepted the cup of tea she poured, before taking the seat across from her.

She tilted the teapot and stared down into the dark liquid.

He could almost see her mind working out exactly what to tell him and how much. How he longed for any sign of trust from her.

“I’m not sure where to begin. It was so long ago.”

“Did you disappear as your mother indicated?”

He gaze never removed from the steaming cup of tea. “Yes.”

“Where did you go?”

“I cannot say.”