As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) (14 page)

Quinn looked down, but she could already feel the flush warming her neck. “You were always a charmer, Ethan.”

“It’s the best thing I have goin’ for me.” His casual agreement was so
Ethan
. “Even Lanie agrees.” He favored her with a grin. “She said I could sell ice to an Eskimo.”

Lanie’s laughter joined theirs, and Quinn giggled. She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to feel this way yet, especially with all she had going on, but the response to Ethan’s joke felt organic. It felt good to let something other than stress into her heart.

“Quinn?” Jonah stalled when he got within a few feet of her, and Quinn’s heart kicked into a faster rhythm. He was wearing sunglasses, so she couldn’t see if his smile extended to his eyes, but his gaze held steady on hers. “What are you—I mean hi.”

“H-hey.” Clearing her throat, Quinn glanced between him and Ethan; Ethan still looked completely at ease, but Jonah seemed…different. She focused on him, noticing the tense set to his broad shoulders as he crossed his arms, then dropped them. “We were looking for uh…” Jonah’s eyes were on her again, and anything else she’d meant to say vanished as he finally took off his shades.

His eyes
were
smiling.
At her
. A slow, all-too-familiar flutter tickled at her stomach.

“Tomatoes.” Lanie supplied the word Quinn’s brain seemed to have forgotten. Stepping forward, Lanie flicked a glance at the sign on the front of the stall, then leveled a far more lingering gaze than she’d given Ethan on Jonah. “Walker Farms, huh?” She raised her own sunglasses slowly. “So you’re Jonah.”

“Sure am.” He smiled widely at Lanie, while Quinn tried to pinpoint what was different about him. She was still expecting the cocky boy who swept her away on his motorcycle, or the angry one she left behind. She wasn’t sure how to deal with this version of her first love.

A thud penetrated the conversation and Quinn shifted slightly, looking around Ethan. The newcomer straightened to his full height and faced them. His blue eyes went straight to Quinn, and then skipped to Lanie for a few seconds, before pinning Quinn in place. She couldn’t have moved in any direction under that gaze. He’d always been able to do that: take in everything about a situation and then decide immediately on a course of action. At first, it unnerved her, but as she got to know him, she realized that was just how Reece Walker operated.

Would he lash out at her? Reece wasn’t known for being a second chances sort of man. Quinn wiped her palms on her pants as surreptitiously as she could, while keeping her eyes on the eldest Walker brother. His jaw popped as he studied her. She knew there was nothing she could do if he told her to go to hell. She hadn’t just hurt Jonah when she left. She realized now she’d also lost her friendships with Ethan, and Reece. And although Ethan had considered her a big sister, Reece once thought of her as his best friend.

“Quinn.” His piercings were gone, save for an eyebrow ring, and his hair was cut into a semblance of order. His half-sleeve tattoos were covered by shirtsleeves, and four years had added other changes. But the tone was close enough to the one he always used with her that Quinn almost staggered. His tone said
like fuck girls can’t play football Reynolds, I’ll teach you,
and
if my brother ever hurts you, I’ll whip his ass
, and a thousand other memories. They brushed against her like a breeze after a long, dry day. And she realized she’d been kidding herself thinking she didn’t miss having him in her life.

“Reece, I…” Nothing sounded right. She blinked in rapid succession, but she could still feel tears hovering in her eyes. His greeting wasn’t an absolution, and she knew she didn’t deserve one until she’d earned it. But it was a
beginning
. “Reece, I’m so happy to see you.” Her hands were shaking when she swiped at her eyes. “I know I haven’t acted like it, but I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He finally smiled at her, and it was another start. “Now that you’re back, we’ll be catching up soon.”

Quinn nodded, and then winced at Lanie’s jab to her side. She glared at Lanie, who only lifted her chin. Quinn frowned at her before she faced the boys. The
men
. She gestured to Lanie, to focus her thoughts. “This is Delaney Shaw, my best friend.”

Lanie nodded at each of them in turn, and Quinn wasn’t sure what to make of how her gaze lingered on both Reece and Jonah. “It’s nice to meet the Walker boys finally.”

Ethan let out a snort. “Is that what Quinn calls us?” He traded an unreadable glance with Jonah.

Smirking, Lanie linked her arms through Quinn’s. “No, sugar, that’s what
I
call you, on account of the stories I’ve heard.” She nudged Quinn forward, and past the three frozen men.

“Stories?” It was Reece calling after them, although they were already several paces away. He took a step away from his brothers, as though he might pursue them.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Lanie tossed the words at him and then strolled on ahead slowly, taking Quinn with her.

Quinn’s next breath was shallow as she bore down on her crutches. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into Lanie, and she wasn’t sure what to think about how seeing Jonah made her feel. She put all her attention on the next stall they paused at; despite the colorful display of vegetables, all she could feel was the heat of Jonah’s gaze following her.

~~~~~

Turning the page, Quinn paused to take a sip of water. She had arrived earlier than normal today for her visit with her father, so she was almost finished with the second chapter for today. But she couldn’t concentrate on the book—which was as good as ever—and she kept losing her place. Between the fact she was almost done with the book, and her dad still wasn’t awake, and her run-in with Jonah and his family, she was totally distracted. Finally, she put down the book, marking it and closing it.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she murmured. “I know I’m a thousand miles away today. I have a lot on my mind, but that’s no excuse.” Sighing, she leaned back in her chair, resting her head against the backing. “I wish you were awake so we could talk. I have so much to tell you, and so much to apologize for.”

Her gaze drifted around the private room, still filled with cards, flowers, and balloons. Each time she came to visit, someone had sent a new token of his or her well wishes. Growing up, she was aware of her father’s importance in the community, but she didn’t realize until now just how well loved he was, as well. With nothing better to do on her first time here, she read a few of the cards, and the messages there were genuine.

“I miss you,” she continued. “Everyone misses you. I wish you could see all the nice notes folks have sent.”

This town loved Clay Reynolds. Quinn only hoped that one day they could love her. She’d spoken to Jonathan three times now, and he was well aware of her situation, but he still had a ballet company to run. Her director point-blank asked her during their last phone call if she would be able to fulfill her contract, and Quinn had to tell him she honestly wasn’t sure.

She blew out a frustrated sigh and flipped through the pages of her book, but the words ran together. Normally she loved to lose herself in Frodo’s adventures, but today, her heart wasn’t in it. Her mind was going nonstop, and the one thought she kept returning to was that she wanted her dad back. She didn’t know what would happen when he woke—if he would be okay, if they could repair their relationship, how he would take the news his wife was dead. Quinn turned her head, squinting into the late afternoon sunlight.

She wasn’t a fool. She knew she was existing, but not really living. She missed the sounds of New York, her dancing, and the people. She missed her mother, but she knew she was deliberately not working through her grief. Doc Paige kept suggesting she see a counselor, but Quinn hadn’t considered it until today. She wasn’t sure how she would feel about a stranger analyzing her words, and ticking off boxes in a checklist to grade how fully Quinn was grieving.

It was a makeshift existence. She lived for the days Lanie was able to fly in, and she pretended not to notice how much time Lanie and Darren were spending together, or the fact Darren seemed afraid to leave her alone for long periods of time.

“I know it’s selfish of me to think about myself right now,” Quinn whispered, “but I really need you, Daddy. I’ve made a mess of things the last few years, with us, and I just…” She grasped a thousand different words, but none of them were right, so she let them all go.

The room was silent except for the now-familiar machines. Quinn let her head drop to her chest, figuring if she couldn’t read, she could at least sit here with her father until visiting hours were over in a half hour. Sighing, she let the noises of the machines relax her, but when she woke with a start, she felt stiff from dozing in the awkward position. She rolled her neck, trying to work out the kinks, and as she lifted her head, she saw it: her dad’s fingers were twitching.

Quinn grabbed her crutches and walked as fast as she could to the nurse’s station. “His fingers are moving.” She took a deep breath, almost afraid to hope. “I saw it, his fingers moved. Clay Reynolds, my father. He’s in room 614,” she rattled off.

The heavy-set nurse seemed startled at her outburst, but she picked up her phone and dialed. Quinn tried not to panic as she listened to the nurse mumble into the phone, but snapped to attention when she saw the nurse hang up the phone. “Does this mean he’s waking up?”

“Let’s go find out, darlin’,” the older woman suggested, standing and walking the way Quinn came from.

Quinn couldn’t go very fast with her crutches, but she moved as quickly as she could, nudging the door all the way open. Her father was where she left him, laying in the same position as when she went to fetch the nurse. She stared at him, willing him to sit up and hug her, scream at her—anything other than just lying there.

“Ms Reynolds?” It was the nurse, standing in front of her. “Let’s let the doctors have a look at him.”

Even though the last place she wanted to be was outside the room, Quinn let the other woman lead her out into the hallway. She watched as a team of doctors and assistants rushed into the room. Quinn leaned against the wall, her heart beating so hard she wasn’t sure her chest could contain it much longer.

At some point, someone gave her a cup of coffee, and even though she wasn’t tired at all, Quinn sipped at it. She wandered over to a chair, and sat slumped in it, but she straightened as Doctor Winchester came out of her father’s room. He was smiling, and Quinn barely felt the coffee cup slipping from her hand. She held tighter to her crutches. “Is he…?”

“Awake, talking, and okay.” His smile widened. “I didn’t expect him to come out of it in great shape, Quinn, but he did it. Give my team a minute or two to get packed up, and then you can go in.”

Quinn stood, nervous energy zinging through her. She’d spent what felt like an eternity waiting for this moment. She was pinning so many hopes on her dad waking up and on being able to apologize for staying gone. For not trying harder to break through the walls her leaving made him build. For not saying more during their phone calls, for ignoring his attempts at bridging their issues because of the hatred her mother spewed…and because of her own fear. For so many things.

“Come in, Quinn,” Doctor Winchester called.

On shaking legs, Quinn maneuvered toward the doorway. The other nurses and medical officials filed out of the room, some offering her a smile or a nod. Quinn hovered in the doorway, and then made herself step into the room. Right away she could hear differences in the machines, but the loudest sound was still the tapping of her crutches against the floor.

And then her dad’s choked voice, raspy from disuse: “
Quinn
.”

Quinn barely made it to his bedside before she was sobbing. Tear after tear fell, but she couldn’t stop looking at her dad. He was pale, and he looked tired, which seemed impossible. But it was him—his dark hair, his blue eyes, his strong features, so familiar to her. His hand reaching for hers, ringed in a hospital bracelet with his patient ID. His fingers curled around hers, and he smiled at her.

“Daddy,” she choked out, collapsing into the chair she’d sat in so often. “Daddy, you’re okay?”

“I am, sweetheart.” His affirmation sounded strong, even if the rest of him was weaker than she was used to seeing. “I promise. Doctor Winchester says I gave everyone a scare, but I’m back now.”

“I’m so happy,” Quinn whispered, trying to stem her tears. She took a few breaths, but then realized what she had to tell him, and new tears emerged. She squeezed his hand just as tightly as he was holding hers, and used her free hand to swipe at her face. “Daddy…”

His eyes closed, and she watched his expression gradually change. When he opened his eyes, he did a much better job than she had of wiping away some of her tears. “I know, honey. When she didn’t come in with you, I knew. Your mom’s gone.”

“She is. Right after the accident.” Quinn thought of her trip to the graveyard, and the one after that. She spent most of them standing at her mom’s headstone, trying to think of what to say. She knew it wasn’t healthy to keep the anger inside, but she was afraid of what would happen when she let it out.

“And you’ve had to deal with all this—” Her dad made a sweeping gesture. “On your own? Oh Quinn.”