As You Like It (4 page)
Authors: William Shakespeare
Enter Oliver
ADAM
Yonder comes my master, your brother.
Adam stands aside
ORLANDO
Go apart
23
, Adam, and thou shalt hear
how he will
shake me up
24
.
OLIVER
Now, sir, what
make
25
you here?
ORLANDO
Nothing: I am not taught to make anything.
OLIVER
What
mar
27
you then, sir?
ORLANDO
Marry
28
, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God
made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.
OLIVER
Marry, sir, be better employed, and
be naught
30
ORLANDO
Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?
What
prodigal portion
33
have I spent that I should come to
such penury?
OLIVER
Know you where you are, sir?
ORLANDO
O, sir, very well: here in your
orchard
36
.
OLIVER
Know you before whom, sir?
ORLANDO
Ay, better than him I am before
knows
38
me. I know
you are my eldest brother, and,
in the gentle condition of
39
blood
, you should so know me. The
courtesy of nations
40
allows you my better, in that you are the first-born, but the
same
tradition
takes not away my
blood
42
, were there twenty
brothers betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as
you, albeit I confess your coming before me
is nearer to his
44
OLIVER
What, boy!
Raises his hand or hits him
ORLANDO
Come, come, elder brother, you are too
Grabs him
young
48
in this.
OLIVER
Wilt thou lay hands on me,
villain
49
?
ORLANDO
I am no villain: I am the youngest son of Sir
Rowland
de Bois
51
, he was my father, and he is thrice a villain
that says such a father
begot
52
villains. Wert thou not my
brother, I would not take this hand from thy throat till this
other had pulled out thy tongue for saying so. Thou hast
railed on
55
thyself.
ADAM
Sweet masters, be patient: for your
father’s
56
remembrance
, be at accord.
OLIVER
Let me go, I say.
ORLANDO
I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My father
charged you in his will to give me good education: you have
trained me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all
gentleman-like
qualities
62
. The spirit of my father grows
strong in me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow
me such
exercises
as may
become
64
a gentleman, or give me
the poor
allottery
my father left me by
testament
65
, with that I
will go buy my fortunes.
Lets him go
OLIVER
And what wilt thou do? Beg when that is spent?
Well, sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you. You
shall have some part of your
will
69
. I pray you leave me.
ORLANDO
I will no further
offend
70
you than becomes me for my
good.
To Adam
OLIVER
Get you with him, you old dog.
ADAM
Is ‘old dog’ my reward? Most true, I have lost my
teeth in your service. God be with my old master, he would
not have spoke such a word.
Exeunt Orlando
[
and
]
Adam
OLIVER
Is it even so? Begin you to
grow upon
76
me? I will
physic
your
rankness
77
, and yet give no thousand crowns
Enter Dennis
DENNIS
Calls your worship?
OLIVER
Was not Charles, the duke’s wrestler, here to speak
with me?
DENNIS
So
please you, he is here at the door and
importunes
82
access to you.
OLIVER
Call him in.
[
Exit Dennis
]
’Twill be a good way, and tomorrow the wrestling is.
Enter Charles
CHARLES
Good
morrow
86
to your worship.
OLIVER
Good Monsieur Charles, what’s the new news at the
new court?
CHARLES
There’s no news at the court, sir, but the old news:
that is, the old duke is banished by his younger brother the
new duke, and three or four
loving
91
lords have put themselves
into voluntary exile with him, whose lands and revenues
enrich the new duke, therefore he gives them
good leave
93
to
wander.
OLIVER
Can you tell if Rosalind, the duke’s daughter, be
banished with her father?
CHARLES
O, no; for the duke’s daughter, her cousin, so loves
her, being
ever
98
from their cradles bred together, that she
would have followed her exile, or have died
to stay
99
behind
her; she is at the court, and no less beloved of her uncle than
his own daughter, and never two ladies
loved
101
as they do.
OLIVER
Where will the old duke live?
CHARLES
They say he is already in the
Forest of Arden
103
, and a
many merry men with him; and there they live like the old
Robin Hood
105
of England: they say many young gentlemen
flock to him every day, and
fleet
the time
carelessly
106
as they
did in the
golden world
107
.
OLIVER
What, you wrestle tomorrow before the new duke?
CHARLES
Marry do I, sir, and I came to acquaint you with a
matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that your
younger brother Orlando hath a disposition to come in
disguised against me to try a
fall
112
. Tomorrow, sir, I wrestle for
my
credit
113
, and he that escapes me without some broken limb
shall acquit him well. Your brother is but young and
tender
114
,
and for your love I would be loath to
foil
115
him, as I must for my
own honour if he come in: therefore, out of my love to you, I
came hither to acquaint you
withal
117
, that either you might
stay him from his intendment
, or
brook
118
such disgrace well as
he shall run into, in that it is a thing of his own
search
119
and
altogether against my will.
OLIVER
Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which thou
shalt find I will most
kindly requite
122
. I had myself notice of
my brother’s purpose herein and have by
underhand
123
means
laboured to dissuade him from it; but he is resolute. I’ll tell
thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest young fellow of France,
full of ambition, an
envious emulator
126
of every man’s good
parts
127
, a secret and villainous contriver against me his
natural brother: therefore use thy discretion. I had as
lief
128
thou didst break his neck as his finger. And thou wert best
look to’t
130
; for if thou dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do
not mightily
grace himself on thee
, he will
practise
131
against
thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous
device
132
and
never leave thee till he hath ta’en thy life by some indirect
means or other, for I assure thee, and almost with tears I
speak it, there is not one so young and so villainous this day
living. I speak but brotherly of him, but should I
anatomize
136
him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep and thou must
look pale and wonder.
CHARLES
I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come
tomorrow, I’ll give him his
payment
. If ever he
go alone
140
again, I’ll never wrestle for prize more. And so God keep your
worship!
Exit
OLIVER
Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this
gamester
144
: I hope I shall see an end of him; for my soul, yet I
know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he’s
gentle
145
,
never schooled and yet learnèd, full of noble
device
146
, of all
sorts
147
enchantingly beloved, and indeed so much in the heart
of the world, and especially of my own people, who best
know him, that I am altogether
misprised
149
. But it shall not be
so long: this wrestler shall
clear
150
all. Nothing remains but
that I
kindle the boy thither
151
, which now I’ll go about.
Exit
running scene 2
Enter Rosalind and Celia
CELIA
I pray thee Rosalind, sweet my
coz
1
, be merry.
ROSALIND
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of,
and
would
3
you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach
me to forget a banished father, you must not
learn
4
me how to
remember any extraordinary pleasure.
CELIA
Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight
that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, had
banished thy uncle, the duke my father,
so
8
thou hadst been
still with me, I could have taught my love to take thy father
for mine; so wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love to me were
so
righteously tempered
11
as mine is to thee.
ROSALIND
Well, I will forget the condition of my
estate
12
, to
rejoice in yours.
CELIA
You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is
like
15
to have; and truly, when he dies, thou shalt be his heir;
for what he hath taken away from thy father
perforce
16
, I will
render thee again in affection. By mine honour, I will, and
when I break that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my
sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.
ROSALIND
From henceforth I will, coz, and devise
sports
20
. Let
me see, what think you of falling in love?
CELIA
Marry, I prithee do, to
make sport
withal
22
: but love
no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport
neither than
23
with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in honour come off
again.
ROSALIND
What shall be our sport, then?
CELIA
Let us sit and mock the good
housewife
27
Fortune
from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed
equally.
ROSALIND
I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily
misplaced, and the
bountiful blind woman
31
doth most
mistake in her gifts to women.
CELIA
’Tis true, for those that she makes
fair
33
she scarce
makes
honest
34
, and those that she makes honest she makes
very
ill-favouredly
35
.
ROSALIND
Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s
office
36
to
Nature’s: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the
lineaments
38
of Nature.