As Shadows Fade (16 page)

“Are you saying I've forced you into it?”

“Of course not.” His mouth flattened.

“Why did you decide to stay last night?” she asked boldly.

“I was previously…I will not share you. With anyone.”

As she had suspected. “You thought I would linger in Sebastian's bed and then come to you?” Victoria wasn't certain whether to be angry or insulted. So she kept her voice steady.

Max's eyes turned flat and black. “You forget I've observed you and your various beaus over the last two years. You never seemed to settle on one for long.”

She could have allowed the righteous fury to burst forth, skewering him with her words, but Victoria sensed something unspoken beneath his comments. Something he masked very well. Something important. So she chose bald honesty. “I never have. Until now.”

The belligerence in his eyes died. His mouth relaxed. But he didn't speak.

“Max,” she began, unsure what was about to come from her mouth…and then her breath trailed off. Because he was looking at her again like he had last night…through hot eyes filled with intent and boldness.

“I begin to see the attraction of carriage rides,” he said, and reached forward to close his fingers around her wrist. “The rhythm, the privacy…”

She saw the flash of a decidedly wicked smile before she flowed across the divide, into his arms.

“Most definitely the privacy,” she murmured after a moment, pulling a bit away from the long, sleek kiss. “No Verbena to interrupt us. Poor girl,” she said, paused for a lovely little mash of lips, then continued. “She's half terrified of you anyway…and you bellowed at her this morning.”

He smiled against Victoria's mouth, his fingers already loosening the buttons at the back of her gown. Efficient in everything he did, of course.

Then suddenly, he stopped and gathered her close.

One strong hand curved around the back of her head, fingers sliding into the loose knot there, palm cupping the base of her neck, and the other at the center of her back, where the gown had begun to gap open. “Victoria,” he said into her ear, barely audible, “I can't let anything happen to you. I simply cannot. That's what I meant by having no choice.”

She pulled back, looking into his haunted eyes. “I've made the same choice, Max. Don't you understand?”

He turned away, his face becoming rigid. “I almost wish you hadn't.
Almost
,”he added, before she could argue.

Now he moved away, putting space between them, tilting her off his lap and into her own corner of the seat. “It's you that doesn't understand, Victoria.” He grabbed up her hand, closing his strong brown fingers around hers, covering her slender white hand with his broad, square one. “You called me a coward once.”

“Twice,” she reminded him.

The flicker of a smile ticked at the corner of his lips. “Yes, then, twice. And it's true. I am a coward. I've fought this for so long—”

“How long, Max? Since you peeked at me changing in the carriage?” Victoria couldn't resist.

Again, that involuntary twitch of lips. “Long enough. And I've already told you, I had no desire or reason to peek.” Then the sobering mood returned, this time laced with underlying anger. “Be quiet and let me say this.”

He glanced out the window. “The hardest thing I've ever done was when I…executed Eustacia. I loved her like a mother, a leader, a mentor and a friend…and she ordered me to kill her.”

“You had to, Max,” Victoria said earnestly, her fingers tightening inside his. “You had to in order to get close enough to the vampires to destroy the obelisk.”

“Goddammit, I know that, Victoria. Of course I had to—it was the right thing to do. One life sacrificed in order to save countless others. I hated myself for doing it. I loathed the fact that I had to…but I did. I didn't hesitate. I did what bloody well had to be done.”

He turned from the window then to look at her, bleakness in his eyes, austerity in his face. “But if it had been you? I couldn't have done it. Do you understand?
I could not have done it
. I wouldn't have. I would have put myself…
you
…ahead of everyone and everything.”

He pulled his hand from hers. “That's what I'm afraid of, Victoria. Another choice like that.”

+ Ten +

In Which Sebastian Acquires Reading Material

The moment Victoria walked
into the town house parlor, Sebastian knew things had changed.

He'd been conversing with Wayren, sitting yet again in this little room that continued to tug at him whenever he came to Eustacia's home. During the short time he'd been here, waiting for Victoria's return, his attention had been drawn over and over to the cabinet that held the Gardella Bible.

More than once, he'd thought to ask Wayren if he could look through it—after all, he was a Gardella, somewhere centuries back in his mother's family tree.

But then Victoria breezed in, dressed in a simple gown of pale blue that didn't begin to do her justice. For pity's sake, he'd seen maids better dressed. She was gloveless, and her rich, inky hair sagged low at the base of her skull, curls flying in little springs from her temple. And she was followed by Max Pesaro.

“Sebastian,” she greeted him. “Have you been here long?” She took a seat at one side of the empty sofa, and Pesaro sat there as well, but at the other end, well away from her, as though afraid of catching something. Though from the look on his face, he'd already been close enough to do so.

Devil take it. How was he going to travel to Prague with the two of them?

He realized with a start that Victoria had asked him a polite question that required a suitable response. “I haven't even been here long enough for Charley to have brought tea,” he replied. “Although I'm not entirely certain the request was made, so perhaps that isn't a good measure.” Taking care to keep his voice light and casual, he added, looking directly at Max, “I understand you went for a drive. How did you find the carriage's accommodations?”

“Cramped,” he replied coolly, but with a measured look that confirmed everything Sebastian had suspected.

He transferred his attention to Victoria, whose cheeks had tinted a charming pink. Or it would be charming if it didn't have to do with Max Pesaro. He gritted his teeth—for whom had he to blame for the topic but himself? But he'd had to know for certain, and now he did. Yet they both looked…well, certainly not as if the carriage ride had been as pleasant as it could have been.

Keeping his insouciant smile in place, he replied, “What a pity. I've never had a complaint about such—”

“I've received word from Brim and Michalas,” interrupted Wayren.

Sebastian allowed his smile to fade as all attention turned to her. He had information as well, but it would wait for a moment.

“They've arrived in Paris. Two more demons were dispatched, and all seems to be quiet for the moment. Yet we know it's only a matter of time before more slip through the portal, and we haven't any time to waste. They received my message about the Rings of Jubai—thanks to Sebastian for that bit of information—and have suggested they go to retrieve the ring from the Consilium, then meet up with us in Prague.” Wayren looked at Victoria. “If you agree.”

“Yes, of course. They can be to Rome much sooner than we can, and it makes the most sense to split up. We have the pigeons to communicate.”

Sebastian noticed she didn't look at either Pesaro or himself to confirm her decision. How far she had come from the first time he'd met her, when she'd attempted in vain to hide her femininity by wearing men's clothing to The Silver Chalice—then had nearly forgotten to offer a gentlemanly handshake.

Since then, she'd grown more bold, beautiful, strong, and intelligent.

Worlds different from his gentle, serene Giulia, who nevertheless had had a fiery side when it came to her gardens.

He remembered the first time he'd met her, the sister of his acquaintance Max. The two boys had trampled two basil plants and a rosemary bush in an effort to peek through the window of a house sharing the same courtyard, where a beautiful young signora tended to stand whilst changing. Giulia had given them both the sharpest side of her tongue, a tartness he rarely remembered experiencing after that first time. Although, to be sure, it was those big, dark eyes that had captivated him—not the signora in her shift—so perhaps his memory was faulty.

Sebastian caught himself and looked back up to find Wayren gazing at him. He swallowed and fixed that charming smile on his lips, and realized with gratitude no one else seemed to have noticed his lapse.

Max and Victoria had exchanged their own sharp words about whether horse or carriage would be the more efficient mode of transport, with both of them acknowledging horseback would be the best choice. Which left Sebastian to wonder exactly what they'd disagreed about.

Then suddenly he was drawn back into the conversation by something Victoria said to Wayren. “A vampire? You're in need of a vampire? What can an undead tell you that I cannot?” he added with an unabashed grin.

“It's more what he can do,” Pesaro replied. “Unless you wish to oblige me by allowing me to drain your blood, then stake you.”

“It would certainly be interesting to participate in your
attempt
.”

“He needs a vampire's blood for the Trial,” Victoria said sharply. “Max is going to take up the
vis bulla
again.”

Devil it, so he was. Sebastian pursed his lips, considering the implications of such an eventuality. Max with a
vis
would certainly be a welcome addition to their team when it came to closing the Midiverse Portal and retrieving the other Rings of Jubai. And Sebastian grudgingly admitted to himself that Victoria would be that much safer in the man's company, if that was where she wished to be.

And there was always the tantalizing possibility that Pesaro wouldn't live through the Trial.

“There are no vampires in London right now,” he said. “I'll be most happy to assist you to find one in Prague. Ah…perhaps…perhaps you could use Katerina.” He smiled with genuine humor for the first time that day.

“A paramour of your grandfather's, I presume,” Pesaro responded drily.

“Of course. In fact, there's quite a story about how she came to be sired by Beauregard, if you will permit me to tell it, for it has bearing on our quest.”

“Sired by Beauregard,” mused Pesaro. “But with Beauregard dead, she is then locked in obeisance to
his
sire…which was Lilith, as I recall.”

Sebastian saw the flash of unease in Pesaro's eyes, and much as he might abhor the man, he had some compassion for him in this case. The bond of Lilith's thrall, and her obsession with Pesaro, had been a bane to the man's life. And even Sebastian, who'd lived among the undead for a time, didn't care to contemplate some of the things Max had had to endure when he was with her.

“Yes, Lilith was Beauregard's sire, but the connection had become very weak. He was a Guardian vampire, but she didn't trust him with one of the Rings of Jubai. He turned on her centuries ago, so I am not certain how strong Katerina's bond would be with Lilith.”

“Ah yes…Beauregard was a power-hungry one, wasn't he?” Pesaro replied.

Sebastian didn't reply. Before Beauregard's attempt to turn Victoria undead, against his grandson's wishes, Sebastian had loved the vampire. Staking him to end his attack on Victoria had been almost as difficult as staking Giulia those years ago.

“Sebastian, you said you had learned some other information,” Wayren said, once again interrupting his thoughts. He felt as though she not only broke into his musings, but knew exactly what they were…or at least, had a sense of them. The canny look in her eyes seemed to support that.

“As I was about to say, the story of how Katerina became sired is an interesting one and it is germane to the task at hand.”

“Then perhaps you could proceed with the story,” Wayren encouraged.

Sebastian leveled a look at Pesaro. “I think I shall keep you in suspense. The pertinent information is that she has one of the Rings of Jubai. It was given to her by Germintrude, one of Lilith's other Guardian vampires, in an effort to sway her loyalty from Beauregard. Which didn't work, but she did keep the ring. If you need the blood of an undead, and we need the ring, it would be expedient to combine the two tasks. And then you can have the pleasure of killing her, after…how many days of fasting will it be?” he added with relish.

“Three,” Pesaro replied. “We leave in the morning.” He stood and, with the briefest of bows to Wayren and Victoria, left the room.

Torn between the hope and dread that Wayren would also go, leaving him alone with Victoria, Sebastian remained in his chair. But Victoria rose first and turned to him as he, too, politely got to his feet. “You will go with us, then?”

Did she truly think he wouldn't? That he'd leave her to Katerina, and Lilith—for they'd have to face her, too, at some point in order to get the other two rings—and close the portal without his help?

Had he not proven himself yet?

But he held back these thoughts and nodded. “I'll be here before daybreak.” He would have started for the door, but Wayren's quiet voice stopped him.

“Sebastian, if I could have a word with you.”

The hair lifted at the back of his neck. Could she not have had that word with him earlier? He wanted to leave now. To get out of this house, where Victoria would go upstairs to her chamber and be joined by and with a man he loathed.

How could she love him, the cold bastard?

“If you'll excuse me,” Victoria said, hurrying from the room.

Sebastian preferred not to think about where she was going.

Instead, he turned to Wayren, not entirely sure a conversation with her would be the lesser of two evils.