As Meat Loves Salt (35 page)

tensed each time a man passed us in the way, my heart labouring under all my accustomed fear of footpads. I thought how strange it was that my size availed me nothing against this dread. In the darkness I almost took a pratfall, having trodden in something both brittle and slimy the feel of which on my shoe made me shudder. I was loath to examine the mess and walked on dragging one foot a little.

At the end of the street shone a faint amber light and I heard the clink and hum of a tavern. A man stood in the doorway spitting and seemingly looking out for someone.

'Eh, Christopher!'

'Daniel, my lad!’ Ferris ran up to embrace him.

'You'll take some canary with us, f-friend?' Daniel asked me over Ferris's shoulder. He put me in mind of a carrot-haired owl, but his face, despite the gloss of drink upon it, was humane and spirited. As soon as Ferris released him he seized my hand and pumped it up and down.

'This is Jacob Cullen,' Ferris said. ‘And no, lad, it grieves me but we must go back. My aunt awaits us. But how have you been living?'

The man sighed. 'I wasn't meant for a stool-arsed Jack. The fencing school — now that was an occupation.'

'Why don't you—' I stopped. Ferris and Daniel were both looking down. I followed their eyes and saw what I had not perceived earlier owing to the gloom: Daniel's left leg was of wood.

'I beg your pardon, sir. I hadn't remarked—'

He clapped me on the arm. ‘And why should you!'

'So, no more swords,' Ferris said. 'But can you handle a spade?'

'Don't know, I never did before.' Daniel roared with laughter. I wondered how far gone he was in drink.

'I propose to dig the commons and raise crops.'

Ah, we're onto
that,
are we?' Daniel clutched at my sleeve. ‘Are you another one?'

Another—?'

Another dreamer.' He turned to Ferris. 'Your man is Richard Parr. Mad as the man in the moon.'

'He wants to start a colony?'

'Not his own, perhaps; but he'd go along with yours. Able bodied, but poor. Lodges at Twentyman's.'

'I know it.' Ferris's look was gone inward. He roused himself to ask, 'Will you come and eat with us, Dan?'

'No, thank you kindly.’ The man's eyes glistened. 'Too f-far on this leg.'

"Then shall we come one day and see the new babe?'

'When you will.' But he seemed now not to want us. I expressed likewise a wish to have his company at some future date and we left him. Passing up the street I heard some men within roaring out the ballad of the 'Mercenary Soldier'.

'I
  
come
   
not forth
   
to
   
do
   
my
   
country
  
good, I come to rob and take my fill of pleasure ...'

"The rain's stopped,' Ferris said. It was thin comfort, for the streets were darker than ever and the air nipped my flushed cheeks. We walked on some yards without speaking, until I asked, 'Will Dan stay there all night?'

"They ought not to let him, if the landlord wants to keep his licence.'

'I never thought of you having a toper for a friend,’ I said.

'What, you don't think I've ever been in a tavern, neither?' He laughed, but stopped and went on more soberly, 'Dan was no toper when first I knew him.'

These broken men,
I thought,
are everywhere. Who will gather them up and mend them ?

Rebecca opened the door. 'I took you for the Mistress,' she cried on seeing us. 'She won't stay much longer, surely?' She hurried back to the kitchen whence issued a strong smell of roast goose.

'Mistress Osgood must be brought abed,' said Ferris. He shuddered at the warmth as he unfastened his coat and laid the parcel from Paul's Churchyard on the table. I stood before the fire, crushing my purple hands together and thanking God for the comfort of coal on such a bitter night.

Ferris picked at the parcel, hissing with annoyance. 'My fingers are too cold.'

'Mine also.'

'We should get us dogskin gloves.’ At last he was able to peel back the outer wrapping. "There! A treasure revealed.'

Liberty No Sin
looked a strange enough treasure, showing Adam and Eve but without their coats of leaves, standing to face the reader naked and unashamed on either side of a spade planted upright in the ground. The handle of this spade seemed to have taken life and spread into a goodly tree. Indeed no such tree was ever seen, unless it were that Papistical tree at Glastonbury that the cunning monks professed sprung from the staff of Joseph of Arimathea, for this spade-tree had fruit and flowers together on the branch. I knew at once what manner of reading I was in for, and groaned inwardly.

Ferris saw it. 'Wormwood, eh?'

He could not hide his disappointment, and I was at once ashamed of myself and my stubbornness.

'We'll read it together, as soon as it please you to start,' I said, and he brightened directly, and said we would get warm first. He took the other package, the scroll, and stored it carefully within the bookcase, locking it after.

'So will you tell me what that is?' I asked.

'I have told you, a secret for now.'

He stuck his head out of the door and called downstairs for Rebecca, who came, poor girl, as promptly as she always did, and embarrassed me again, for she fairly ate me up with her eyes before she looked at Ferris. I remembered that I had left her special offering of pie unfinished, and blushed, and could then have kicked myself to think what interpretation she might put on my reddening cheeks, and so blushed worse.

'Will you bring us some wine up?' he asked her.

I said, 'Ferris, I don't want any.'

'Well, I do.'

I coughed. 'We - Daniel—' trying to be discreet in front of the listening girl.

And some of that cheese we had yesterday, Becs.' She curtsied and left the room.

'Ferris, don't.'

'I'm not Dan. I'm me, and I'm cold, and I want warming through.'

I held my peace. Rebecca brought in the wine and two goblets. She poured one; I straightway bade her take the other away again: I would wait until we had the goose.

"There's bread and cheese coming,' she said, misunderstanding me.

'I'll have some salep, if there be any,’ I went on. 'Is there?' She nodded and went out again.

'Salep's just as warming to drink as wine,' I said.

'If you say so,' he answered. 'Shall we have a look at
Liberty No Sin?'

He lit a fair new candle and propped the pamphlet on the table, taking up his wine and sitting down to the paper as to a feast. Part of me wanted to laugh, but I pulled my chair up next to his and endeavoured to keep a respectful face. It had been easier to escape the wine than I had anticipated — I had been afraid he would urge me — and I felt calm, certain I would not shame myself in any way. Ferris read aloud, pausing from time to time:

'
'Whereas we know that in the beginning He created them man and woman, that is to say that Adam was the grandsire and Eve the grandam of all mankind, none excepted, and that man and woman is to say, all men and all women, how comes it that since then are sprung up so many Kings, Lords and Squires that tread their fellows under foot and are loath to call them Brother?

I looked through, not at, the pamphlet, and listened to his voice. He pronounced the words wonderingly, as if granted a vision of divine light and overpowered with its sweetness, even at times with a little catch in his throat, when, looking round, I would see a glitter in his eye that might be a tear. Zeb, I thought, had a softer way of speaking, more beguiling, but this halting, passionate way of Ferris's made it impossible for a friend to break in upon him. I had heard him only once before with this ache in the voice, and that was when he had told me how he rescued Joanna out of her bondage and brought her safe home. But the time he told me that, he had not been drinking.

'And so the earth was given to mankind that all might enjoy it, and though Eden may not be regained, yet by labour and by just dealing one

with another we may build a happy and prosperous Israel. And to those lovers of kingly power that will say, You come to throw down all rank and degree, we answer without shame, being none other but your dispossessed younger brothers, Aye, we do, and know you not that you are our own flesh and blood, and are you not ashamed to lord it over us so long? And yet we do freely forgive you, if you will but lay down the wealth you wrongfully hold, and join with
—'

The door opened. 'Here's the cheese,' said Rebecca. 'And your salep, Sir, and extra nutmeg in it for the cold.'

We thanked her and she went out, again casting a longing look at me which made me fairly flinch. Ferris laid down the pamphlet and cut some bread and cheese for us both, for though I would not tipple, I could eat.

'Well, what think you?' he asked, sawing through the manchet.

'It seems to me,' I answered, hesitating, 'that it is a curious thing to be reading such matter as this and have a woman serve us. The last time I read such things I was a servant myself, and now I have one, or rather,' for I saw the chance of a jest against him, 'you have one. Are we not lording it over her? I could fetch bread or make salep, could not you?' I took a bite of cheese and waited.

Ferris frowned; he chewed slowly, turning the bread about over in his mouth and moistening it with wine. 'I know not what to say,' he confessed at last. 'Do you think, Jacob, that the man who wrote this has servants also?'

We sat in silence, for although I had meant only to tease him, on reflection I found it a matter worthy of serious thought.

'She is my aunt's servant,’ he went on uncertainly. 'Not mine.'

'But we both of us give her orders.'

The salep was very good, steaming hot and full of spices. Becs was showing me how well she could look after a man. I drank it off and continued: 'We have no wives, and she does many things for wages which our wives would do naturally for us were we married.'

Any man but Ferris would have cracked a jest here, but instead he demanded of me, 'Does that not make a wife a species of servant?'

'No more than a husband, who also labours without pay for the household.'

'But this means unmarried men and women will all have servants — no, hold, Jacob, we are out of our way. Married persons also have servants, which shows it is not a question of being married, but of wealth.'

'Would you call your aunt wealthy? She works near as much as Rebecca.'

'Because idleness is a sin. She is far from poor.' He poured out another goblet of wine.

'Would you receive Rebecca into your community?' I asked.

'Yes,' he replied without pause.

'Then why, should she serve us now?'

Ferris rubbed his ear. 'Because of the way the house is ordered. That's why we must leave. If I call Becs upstairs to talk with us now, the goose burns, and there's my aunt angered, because she and I want different things.'

'You could mind the goose yourself. Labour with your hands!' I teased.

'No, no. If I call her upstairs now, with us two, it makes her a kind of wife.'

It was my turn to feel ill at ease.

'Whereas,' he went on, 'in a colony, with many men and women, she would be more like a sister.'

'Are you so convinced of that?' I asked. 'When I lived as a manservant we had men and maids working together and - and - they were not like brother and sister. Not at all,' I added, recalling Zeb and Patience.

There was another silence. I felt a tightness in the air: we were got upon dangerous ground in talking of wives, and it was my fault. If only Ferris would stop drinking. He picked up the pamphlet and made to go on, but I said, 'Let me read it quietly for myself; here, move the candle,' and so we settled again and I went on with my salep as well as
Liberty No Sin.
It did occur to me that the thing might very well have been written by Ferris himself; I saw him smile several times as we continued to peruse it. It was all much the same stuff. Like my friend, the writer thought the only way was to break free of custom and go build the New Jerusalem. At last Ferris came to the end, with a great sigh of satisfaction. 'Have you finished?' he enquired, moving the candle nearer to me.

'Yes,' I lied, seeing that the end of it was nothing but exhortations.

'Would you
like
Becs to come with us, Jacob?' he suddenly shot at me. Surprised, I raised my eyes to find him studying me closely. Did he mean come with
one
of us? If so, which?

'I had not thought about it,' I said. 'I spoke but for the sake of argument.'

Someone was banging up the stairs. I got up — gladly — to open the door and saw Aunt outside, swaying with fatigue. She came in pale, bringing the chill of the wet streets with her, and sniffing the air of the house.

'O, the goose!' she cried. 'Believe me, I'm ready for it!' Ferris kissed her and moved to stir up the fire. Her eyes went to the wine bottle, then rested on me, reproachful: I shrugged to show I was helpless.