Arrival (19 page)

Satine didn’t know how she survived the wedding ceremony. It wasn’t until the meeting that she understood what she needed to do. The path was becoming clear.

She sat down with Accolon as a courtesy before she left.

“We need to think of some way you can return without being killed,” he said, “Could you say that Harry kidnapped you, that it was not your fault?”

Satine thought for a moment. Leostrial couldn’t have seen her properly when they flew away. He could be told that she had been forced to leave, and was now escaping back to him in Burmia.

“I guess it could work. I think he might be willing to believe anything if it means I didn’t betray him.”

“We can’t take that chance. Did he see you doing anything that could give you away?”

“No. I don’t think so. I will return on the ferry, and I’ll tell him that I was forced to leave.”

“Don’t underestimate him, Satine,” Accolon warned.

Suddenly she lost her temper. “Do not patronise me, Accolon! I’ve spent the last seven years with him!” she raged.

Accolon blinked. “I just want you to be careful, Satine,” he said, and she felt her anger diminish.

“Of course I’ll be careful,” she sighed.

“I want someone to accompany you,” he said.

“That would only endanger me further!” Satine cried.

“This matter is not debatable. I’m sending someone with you and that is that.”

“They will only be killed!” she snapped.

The next day Satine was on a ship heading towards Lapis Matyr with Ambrosius, Captain of the Horse, at her side for protection.

“Princess,” he said, “have I offended you?”

Satine sighed. “I’m sorry, Ambrosius. It’s a problem between Accolon and me. It has nothing to do with you. I apologise for my rudeness.”

Ambrosius nodded. “I shall prepare for our evening meal,” he said as he walked off. Though Satine had tried to stop him from coming, she was actually glad of the company.

Over seven long years Satine had learned to harden herself. To put up a wall against her loneliness and sorrow, a wall that was made of anger. She’d had to become someone strong.

But seeing Accolon again, and being so suddenly torn from him, made her think that maybe she knew how Leostrial felt.

And so the thoughts of Accolon, of her son, of her dead father were not so easy to push away. Banishing the loneliness and the fear seemed more difficult. She could not numb the ache inside her.

So she was heading back into the lion’s den, where she had only survived because she was icy cold, and now she was open and vulnerable. What a terrifying thought.

Satine looked down at the rolling waves. The wind swept her hair over her eyes. Huge cascades of spray burst and splashed over her face and wet her clothing. Looking down at her hands, she suppressed a sigh.

Columba of Uns Lapodis was exceedingly pleased. She stood and walked to her desk. Pulling a quill and parchment from a draw, she sat down to write a letter.

She donned a cloak despite the warm weather, concealed the letter in its folds, and asked for a litter to carry her to the wharf. She waited in that litter for one hour, until exactly midday—the busiest hour of the day. Pulling her cloak over her face, she climbed out and walked to the far end of the dock. There was only one boat moored there, a secret vessel that undertook forbidden journeys to Lapis Matyr, to Burmia, no longer allowed because of the dangerous tyrant who lay in wait on the other side of that stretch of ocean.

Columba stopped in front of the man standing guard by the boat.

Without a word, she handed him the neatly sealed scroll, waited for his signal, and turned back. A few minutes later, she was back in her litter heading for the palace.

She sat down in her most comfortable chair and thought about what she’d just done. Instead of guilt, she felt only satisfaction.

Columba had been born and raised in Lapis Matyr. The daughter of a nobleman in King Altor’s court, she had been deliriously happy to be betrothed to him since the age of nine. But Columba and her heart had been so young, and so easily broken when the love of her life had chosen some filthy Amazonian to be his queen. Columba was instead cast out of her home, away from her family and the future that had been laid out before her, the future that had seemed so perfect.

A woman scorned she was, then. And her rage was all consuming. Columba’s need for vengeance grew until finally she found an avenue for it in Leostrial, and piece by piece, she was bringing Altor and everything he had once loved to destruction.

Columba frowned suddenly. That wretched man, the assassin. He could have ruined everything. But he was an honourable man and took his work seriously. He knew the importance of discretion.

She could not imagine what would happen if they found out about her. She couldn’t bear to think of it, so she turned her mind to other things.

Columba thought of the woman who had broken her son’s heart. She would have been glad to watch Satine die on the stake, but it was not to be allowed.

She hoped that Leostrial knew what he was doing. The girl had been a spy, after all.

“Oh well,” Columba murmured, “she’ll get what she deserves soon enough.”

Anna wiped her mouth with shaky hands and sat back from the washroom basin. There was blood in her vomit. That couldn’t be good. She stared at it. Her face and neck were drenched in sweat and her head was spinning.

“Are you well, my lady?” a serving lady asked, having found her on the floor of the washroom.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I just haven’t had enough to eat today,” she said quickly, pulling herself to her feet and smiling broadly. The woman stared at her sceptically. “Seriously,” Anna said. “I’m fine. You can go back to whatever you were doing.”

Once she was alone again she splashed her face with water and tried to ignore the dizziness she was feeling.

Unfortunately in the hallway she ran into Tomasso. “Are you all unwell?” he asked upon spotting her.

Anna sighed. “I’m fine,” she answered through clenched teeth.

“Forgive me. You look a little pale.”

“I’m just tired I guess.”

They walked in silence. She always found it very difficult to think of something to say in his presence.

“So, how’s work?” she asked lamely.

“Busy, as you can imagine.”

“Mmm. What do you actually do?”

He looked sideways at her and she thought she could almost see the ghost of a smile at his lips. “Put simply, I help the king with everything he doesn’t have time to do. Lots of scribing and organisation.”

She nodded, thinking it must be thrilling. “Will you be going to war too?”

“Of course.”

“Do you know how to fight?”

“Does it matter? I will fight anyway, regardless of whether I know how.”

Anna didn’t know what to say. They kept walking.

Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. “Well, uh, nice to talk to you and everything but I have to go this way now. See you.” And she ducked through a doorway to her left. It took her a moment to realise she had just stepped into a closet.

Ria woke up on the morning of Beltane the way she had woken up each year on that same day. Breathless with excitement. She jumped out of bed, splashed water on her face, dressed quickly and then ran to the saloon. She was greeted, even so early in the morning, with raucous laughter, loud music, and brightly coloured lanterns strung up and glittering.

All day, even on the boat, games would be played, stories would be told, songs would be sung. Ria loved playing music on Beltane because people enjoyed it so much more, and she could play as many embarrassing romantic ballads as she pleased.

It couldn’t possibly be as eventful a day as it would have been on land in some of the bigger cities—there the festivities spilled out onto the streets and went all day long, without fail, and there were enormous treasure hunts that involved hundreds of people at a time—but the ship’s crew had done a very good job of creating a tiny world of celebration anyhow.

Luca was already in the middle of the room, strumming his guitar for those who wanted to dance even at so bright and early an hour.

The games would begin at midday. For now, people were content to talk and eat and dance and drink. Ria sat down near Fern who was setting up a dart-board on the wall.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” he greeted, picking her up and spinning her around. “Happy Beltane!”

Ria laughed. “Put me down, Fern!”

“So who are you going to try and find at sunset?” he asked slyly.

“I don’t usually play that one.”

“But you must! It’s tradition!”

“All right. So who are you going to try and find?”

“You know I never discriminate. Whoever I’m lucky enough to come across is good enough for me.”

“What are you two talking about?” Jane asked, coming to sit with them.

“We forgot to tell you!” Ria said. “Forgive us. At sunset the most famous and popular game takes place. It is, simply put, a giant game of hide and seek. But in this game, all the women hide, and the men go in search of them. The first woman a man sets eyes on is said to be his true love.”

“What?”

Ria laughed. “Oh, don’t worry. No one takes it seriously—it’s just a bit of fun. The man is expected to fetch the lady a drink and take her for a dance. It’s not like they have to get married or anything. One year Fern came across a pair of women at the same time!”

“Of course,” Jane said, rolling her eyes.

Fern threw a dart and hit the bullseye. “Come now, this isn’t another chance to berate me and my ways.”

“Ah, but no longer is it your ways,” Ria smiled. “You are a taken man now.” She looked at the two of them. Neither of them returned the smile. Jane got up and walked away to talk to Harry.

“I take it you won’t be trying to find her then,” Ria muttered. Fern ignored her. “Is something wrong, Fern?”

“Why would something be wrong?”

“Because you didn’t look at Jane once. Did you have a fight? I assumed since you two were so close that you’d look for her at sunset.”

Fern rounded on her. “Jane’s not just another girl you play around with—she isn’t from here. She’s a Bright One. That means something. She’s the woman who’s trying to save our world. One does not meddle with that.”

Ria held her hands up in front of her. “I never said you should!”

He stared at her for a long moment and then shook his head. “You’re right. Forgive me.” And then he was sweeping out of the tavern and up onto the deck.

The day went by with much laughter and play. People bobbed for apples, played ring toss, bet on rat races, and fought each other in mock duels. The dancing and the music never stopped, nor did the flow of ale. As the day drew to a close, people began preparing for the hunt.

The ship’s captain waved the flag for all the women to disperse and hide. Ten minutes later, when the sun was fully below the horizon, the men would be allowed full roaming rights to the ship.

Ria reluctantly put her harp down and stood up. Luca smiled at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t usually play this game.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve never liked the idea of giving someone the power to find and claim me.” She wrung her hands together uncomfortably. Luca frowned and stood up. Then, with a crooked smile, he shrugged and said, “Would it be better if you knew I was going to find you?”

Ria looked at him for a long while, hesitating. Then she said, “I’ll be hiding in the food stores. Close your eyes until you get there.”

After everyone had been found and claimed, most people headed back to the bar for more food and drink. Luca and Ria sat in the middle of the room once more, playing fast tunes, full of life in a reflection of the energy they were all feeling. Everyone danced that night, and the inn was full of wild, unchecked laughter.

“Where’s Jane?” Luca asked softly, looking around. Ria couldn’t see the girl either and shrugged, plucking her harp a little slower.

“Probably up on deck with the other group.”

“Well, I think we’ve lent our services here for long enough. I’m going to go back to my room. Do you want to come for a drink? I owe you one since you were the first girl I clapped eyes on. ”

She looked at him a long time. He didn’t look nervous or worried. Just ... comfortable. She realised then that he had probably never had a shortage of girlfriends. He was still a lot younger than she was though.

After a hesitation, she put down her harp and stood up. “Just a drink,” she warned.

“Of course,” he smiled.

He very gently took her hand in his. They walked out of the now quiet inn, and, hand-in-hand, went to his room.

Why was she doing this? What in the gods’ names had possessed her? Now she had absolutely no idea what to do. What did he expect from her? She had never spent Beltane with anyone before. Well, not with anyone she wanted to be with. There were those years in Torr before she had learned how to protect herself.

Once inside, Ria shut the door behind her. She turned to see him standing in the middle of the room, watching her.

“Luca,” she said without moving towards him, “I have never...”

He shook his head. “We’re just having a drink, remember.”

She nodded gratefully and took the glass of ale from him. They sat down on either end of the bed. Ria bit her lip and thought for a moment. Eventually she decided to just tell him.

“Luca ... What I was going to say is that I have never done this voluntarily before.”

He looked alarmed, and so she wrung her hands anxiously. “In Torr ... girls are rare ... and there are too many men for us to go unnoticed on a night like this. I didn’t learn how to avoid such things for many years.”

“But your parents! Didn’t they—?”

“They knew nothing, and for that I am grateful.”

He looked at her, and his long lashes covered his dark eyes. “I had no idea, Ria,” he said in his deep voice. “I knew there was a sadness in you, but I could not work out ... I had no idea.”

“It’s fine, Luca. You could not have known. And I’m not telling you to elicit pity. It’s just that ... I wanted to explain why I cannot...”

He put his hand up to forestall her again. “Ria, I feel as though I know you. As though I’ve known you my whole life. I don’t want just a night with you. I don’t want a night made of passion that isn’t our own. I want you after tonight, for every other night and every other day. But only if you want it too.”

Ria blinked. She had never met a man like this before. He didn’t do things by halves.

Jane had been a fool to give this up.

“I want that too,” she said quietly, and then she smiled, taking his hand.

Elixia had heard that Beltane in Amalia was the best in the world, but she had never believed it until today. Until walking through the crowded streets with her husband, people cheering and throwing flower petals, children running and kicking balls, men racing horses through the cobbled streets.

Accolon smiled at her amazed expression and took her hand, surprising her with the contact. He rarely touched her, and she knew it was because she wasn’t the one he wanted. Elixia may have been young, but she wasn’t naive. Or blind.

It hadn’t bothered her a great deal to begin with. Because she hadn’t really understood what a marriage meant. Hadn’t understood the absolute closeness of it. This man was her life now. Love was meant to grow. But how could she hope for such a thing when he was in love with someone else?

After their outing through the town Elixia asked to have a bit of time on her own, and she sat on the balcony of her room and ate her mid-meal. Unlike most other rooms in the palace this one looked out over the city. She had chosen it because it felt like it had more freedom.

But surely she should not be thinking of such joyless things on this day of all days. She could leave these thoughts for another time.

After breakfast, she took a horse and she went riding. She rode for hours and hours, over hills and plains, trying to rid herself of the panic she often felt at being indoors for too long. She felt as though she were in a cage, and this was her greatest fear.

There was so much less freedom being a queen, as there were always so many people around her, and not much time for fresh air. She had no problem with the duties and responsibilities that were hers and she still had quite a strong mind to make her opinions known, but she just wished she could be rewarded with a little time to herself. If not, she would surely go mad.

That night, as she danced with her husband at the Beltane palace ball, there was kindness, but she was sure that he was thinking of a certain woman, and it wasn’t his queen.

And thus a question came to her, on a night not meant for such thoughts. Can you overrule your desires and hopes and dreams, and your morals and your ethics all because of a sense of duty? Can you change who you are in order to please others, can you live a life that gives you no pleasure, and still live with yourself?

Perhaps, she realised, thinking about it properly, it was not a strange night for such things to arise.

Satine was still on the ship when the moons changed and Beltane dawned. The day was just like the one it followed on her boat—she’d not wanted to celebrate a night of love this year.

It was just after dinner that she retired to her room below the deck. It was only a few minutes after that when she left it again.

Ambrosius found her alone on the deck, tears streaming down her face.

“Highness,” he said, “are you well?”

Satine jumped, startled and quickly brushed her eyes. “Of course. I’m fine.”

“Forgive the presumption, but I wanted to ask if you might like to join me in my room for a night cap.”

Satine looked at him. Her eyes were red and puffy. It would be so easy to go and spend the night in talk and perhaps even a little laughter. To try and find some friendship on this night of celebration, and on the eve of her isolation.

But suddenly, looking at him, she realised it would be a mistake. She could not put herself into a position of forced intimacy just because she was frightened. You could never hope to fill someone’s void with the wrong person. It always ended badly.

What frightened Satine was that such a void belonged to someone she had never expected to want. Not in a million years.

Anna couldn’t remember the last time someone had paid her so much attention. She had been so lonely since her friends left Uns Lapodis. Had steadily started to feel like she didn’t matter in the slightest anymore—most of the people in Amalia only put stock in the six Strangers together, and didn’t think that Anna was worth the slightest bit on her own. She felt invisible.

To everyone except Vezzet.

She always felt such caring from him. He made her feel like the centre of the world. He accepted her for what she was, and he understood that the basin had frightened her, without needing to know what she’d seen. She hadn’t received that kind of understanding from many people in her life. So she welcomed Vezzet gladly.

The morning of Beltane was uneventful for her, if a bit strange. Breakfast saw Anna sitting on her own as usual, but this didn’t bother her today—she felt faint, and tired and not at all well enough to be walking around in the hot sun with hundreds of people pressing in on her from every side. Her head hurt, and she relished the chance to sit in silence, so she was disappointed when Tomasso came to sit next to her.

“What do you want?” she asked rudely. She was sick of always having to try so hard with him when it was like he purposely made it difficult.

“Why aren’t you at the festivities?”

“I didn’t feel like it today.”

He frowned. “I want to know what you saw in the basin.”

“Why? Why does it matter so much?” she asked, annoyed now.

Tomasso looked at her intently. “Because it’s important. If you saw Locktar again, you need to tell me. You could be in danger.”

“Well, you have nothing to worry about—I didn’t see him,” she snapped, not knowing why she lied. “And as if you’d care if I was in danger anyway!”

He frowned and put his glass down on the table. “Why would you think that?”

“Because! You obviously don’t care about anyone!” Which was a cruel thing to say, even to him.

Tomasso shook his head and left the table, making Anna feel like the stupidest person in the world.

Later when Anna told Vezzet about the encounter he replied, “Tomasso has ever been a strange and dark man. Slow to trust ... slow to love. Because of this, people find it hard to do the same for him. I have worked with him for some years now, and I still find it hard to trust him.”

“He’s so cloaked. I feel he’s hiding something,” Anna said. It was the first time this thought had come to her mind, but now she’d said it, it made sense.

“You may be right. But I don’t want to talk or think about Tomasso right now.” Vezzet paused and then smiled. “You know, you’re the first girl I’ve seen since sunset.”

“We aren’t even playing the game!” she giggled.

He shook his head. “It’s not a game for me.”

Anna was very young, and facing something frighteningly eternal. She had never fallen in love with anyone before, so she didn’t know what it felt like. She could therefore be forgiven her mistake.