Arizona Skies: The Muse (31 page)

I heard knocking as Jesse shut the shower off and wrapped me in a towel. “Twenty minutes up already?” he asked. He wrapped his towel around his lower half and stomped over to the door, grabbing the knob like he was going to pull the door off its hinges. He quickly turned the knob and reached around the door to grab her arm. She flew into the room and he shut the door with a satisfied grin on his face.

“There, are you happy?” he asked, standing there holding the towel around his private parts. She looked him up and down with a sinister look and then turned toward me as I wrapped a towel around my wet hair.

“Did I interrupt anything?” she asked with a devilish smile.

“You know you did,” I said, grabbing some underwear from my drawer.

“Ahhh…ha…morning sex! Nothing’s better than that,” she said, smirking at both of us. Jesse grabbed his clothes off the floor and took off for the bathroom, giving me the is-she-for-real look. Shelly watched him with eyebrows raised, giving me her all-too-familiar wow-he’s-sexy stare.

“You’re early, Shell,” I said, running a comb through my hair.

“I’m always early; you’re always late,” she quipped. I looked at her already dressed and ready for the day.

“Where’s Scott?” I asked, wondering if she left him in the morning just so she could come and annoy the hell out of us. She was enjoying the fact that I was finally having a sexual relationship. She felt that now we were on an even playing field. I secretly agreed with her, but I’d never admit that to her.

“I left him in the shower to come back to change. We’ve been staying in his room to give you guy’s some privacy; these walls aren’t very thick, and we can hear everything,” she said with a knowing smirk.

“Well, back atcha,” I said, hands on my hips. “And let me add that you two aren’t very quiet!”

“You just said a mouthful, baby. I happen to know exactly how loud Scott can be,” Jesse said, stepping out of the bathroom to give me a hug, all dressed and looking delicious.

“Yeah, well, no more threesomes for you guys,” Shelly said with her hands on her hips, giving him an evil look. I looked at her with my mouth wide open, then turned back to look at Jesse, who was looking sheepish, and I knew it was true.

“I gotta go, babe,” he said nervously. “I’ll change and meet you for breakfast; don’t start without me.” He closed my mouth to give me a kiss. I noticed him glaring at Shelly as he quietly left my room.

“You didn’t know, did you? Oh shit, me and my big mouth,” Shelly said.

“No, I didn’t, but apparently you and Scott have done a lot of talking. I think on our way home, you’d better enlighten me about the man I’ve fallen in love with,” I said, dropping my towel to put on underwear.

“Scott is very honest, and you knew Jesse had a very colorful past. My God, Bailey, have you seen the women he attracts? He’s sex on legs. The man looks like a movie star and sings those sexy love songs. I even get wet panties listening to him,” she confessed.

“Shelly, I don’t know if I’m pissed at you, or pissed at Jesse for being so damn sexy,” I said, pulling on white shorts and a red top.

“Don’t be mad, Bailey; he’s a changed man since he met you,” she said.

“Yeah, but in two more days, he returns to his real life of sex, booze, and rock and roll,” I said, moisturizing my legs and arms.

“He loves you. He talked to Scott. Honey, he’s got it real bad,” she said, looking sorry for opening her mouth. “Listen, if I can forgive Scott for all his sexual depravity in the past, then you need to let this go too.”

“Easy for you to say; you have a pretty extensive sexual history yourself. I do not!”

“Well, now you can. Hell, I’ll have a threesome with you sometime if you want!” she shrugged.

“What! Are you trying to placate me, Shelly?” I said, stomping into the bathroom and slamming the door. I paced the bathroom, thinking about Jesse and Scott sharing a girl. My blood was boiling, I had to lean against the sink and breathe deep. My world was spinning, and I thought I was going to throw up. Tears started running down my cheeks as I thought about my sweet, caring lover in a ménage à trois. I wondered what other kinky sex he’d had.
He’s got to be bored out of his mind with me—how can I compete with a history like that?
I’d read a lot of erotic books; I could try to be more of what he needed. I slid down the door in a puddle of tears, crying my eyes out.

I heard Shelly talking to someone. How was I going to face him? I wanted to stay in my room until we docked in Florida. God, I was such a gullible fool, thinking that a man like Jesse Greene would fall in love with me. I wanted to believe him; no, I needed to believe him. Now I was damaged goods, fucking my way across the Caribbean Sea. No decent man was going to want me if they found out I let a rock star into my panties.

Suddenly there was a knock at the bathroom door. “Go away,” I yelled, gasping for air between fits of tears.

“Bailey, honey, open the door,” Jesse said in his sexy voice.

“No, I can’t face you right now.” I sniffed loudly.

“Honey, don’t cry; please let me in,” he said, trying the knob and pushing the door open slightly. Crap, I forgot to lock it, but my body was braced against it, so he couldn’t move it very far. The tears kept coming; I couldn’t control myself. I wanted to crawl in a hole.

“Bailey, sweetheart, move away from the door,” he pleaded, gently nudging me with the door.

“I can’t. Just go away, Jesse,” I said, getting the hiccups from crying.

“Bailey, I’m not going anywhere;
now open this damn door, and stop that fucking crying!
” he yelled in a loud and stern voice startling me. I’d never heard him yell before as I wiped the tears staining my face and got up. When I did, he pushed his way in pulling me into his arms. “Damn it, Bailey, it kills me when you cry,” he said, reaching for some tissues and handing them to me. I blew my nose while he dampened a washcloth and pressed the coldness to my face. “You OK?” he asked, bending down to look in my eyes. I shook my head no, wiping tears as they continued to stream down my face.

“Honey, I’m so sorry. My past isn’t pretty; I already told you that. I’m not a saint; some of it I was so wasted I don’t even remember,” he said, leaning against the sink and watching me.

“How can you be happy with me? I have no experience!” I said, gasping for breath. He shook his head and folded me in his arms, stroking my wet hair.

“Honey, I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been with any other woman. It was just sex; my heart wasn’t involved. With you it’s different. Look, you wear my heart around your neck,” he said, touching my necklace. “I’ve never given any other girl a token like that.”

“Really!” I said, reaching up to touch my necklace.

“Really, honey, you’re the one I’ve been looking for. Your sweetness and innocence have captured my heart. I’ll never go back to that life again; I promise,” he said, crossing his heart as he lifted my chin to look at him.

“What about the kink?” I asked, embarrassed, but I had to know.

“If I want kink, I’ll teach you,” he smiled. I looked up into those intense green eyes. He was searching my face for my answer.

“Okaayy…” I said with a big sigh.

“Well, don’t make it sound so awful; you know I live to please you. I would never do anything you didn’t like,” he smiled, giving me a sweet kiss.

“But I want to please you too,” I said, wiping a stray tear.

“You do, honey, every day. I thank God every night when you’re wrapped in my arms that I found you. You have no idea how broken I’m going to be when I have to let you go,” he said, running his finger across my lips. He leaned down to give me another tender kiss. I wanted to hold on to him for dear life, but I knew our time was short, and I had let him go.

“Me too, it hurts so much. I feel like I can’t breathe when I think about you leaving,” I confessed, falling against his chest to listen to his heartbeat, his strong arms around me holding me tight. He kissed the top of my head.

“Can we get past this, have a nice breakfast, and spend the day together?” he asked. I nodded, taking a long, cleansing breath.

“OK, fix that beautiful face; I’ll be here waiting for you,” he said, walking out of the bathroom. I heard voices, and then my door shut as I turned on my hair dryer to try to make myself look presentable. I kept my makeup light; I’d glam it up later when I wore my new dress for tonight’s performance.

I peeked out. Jesse was sitting in the chair waiting for me, his hands clasped, with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed.

I’d ruined our wonderful morning together; I knew it. I curled the ends of my hair, shaking my long tresses, and then pulled back both sides to put in a hair clip. I was ready, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom. I had to redeem myself somehow; I couldn’t let him remember me in a puddle of tears.

“There’s my beautiful girl. Ready?” he asked, taking my hand. I grabbed my purse and locked the door on our way out. We strolled
toward the dining room hand in hand but not saying a word. The silence between us was deafening. I had to make this right somehow. I knew I’d overreacted when Shelly blurted out about the threesome; she didn’t seem to be the least bit fazed. Maybe if I’d heard it directly from Jesse, it wouldn’t have hurt so much. Nah, it still would have hurt! I wondered what other shocking tidbits about my boyfriend Shelly had discovered. I guessed I could pick her brain on the flight back to Philly. But knowing how I reacted to this piece of information, she would probably clam up to avoid me having another meltdown.

Then I remembered that she had offered to have a threesome with me, and I started giggling. The more I thought about it, the more I giggled. My best friend/sister was a hoot, trying in the best way she knew to make up for my lack of experience. I giggled some more—gotta love her!

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, pulling me toward him with a concerned look in his face, only to discover that I was laughing.

“Shelly, she…” I said, holding my stomach as another fit of laughter rolled over me.

“What did her blondness do now?” he asked.

“She…she…” I giggled. “She offered to have a threesome with me,” I blurted out, laughing.

“She what?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, she thought if we did that I wouldn’t be so devastated.”

“Why, that little rascal,” he chuckled.

“I know, right,” I said, laughing.

“Boy, Scotty better watch that one; she’s a firecracker,” he said, running his hand through his hair with a laugh.

“You have no idea,” I said, trying to compose myself.

“I’m beginning to,” he said, taking my hand in his. “Hey, don’t you go taking her up on that!”

I just burst out laughing again at his warning, almost doubling over in fits of hysteria.

“I know, the pot calling the kettle black,” he said, watching me lose it. “I know I have no right, but it would kill me to find out you were with some other man. I want you all to myself.” He stopped to caress my cheek and kiss me. I just looked up at him, not knowing what to say. I started to open my mouth, but he put his hand over it to stop whatever I was about to say.

“I know I have to set you free the day after tomorrow. But for now you’re mine, and I don’t intend to share you, ever!” he said. “What you do when you get home I can’t control, and given my track record, I don’t have any right to stop you. But believe me, I’ll never be that man again. You’ve changed me, sweetheart.
You are mine, and I don’t share!
” he said, giving me the greenest-eyed stare.

“I’d like to say the same thing to you,” I said.

“Honey, I’m already yours. I’ve already tested the waters and tasted the forbidden fruit, and I know you’re it for me. Listen, I realize you’re just starting to live your life. I have to let you experience what’s out there, but I hope to God you come back to me,” he said. I started to say something, but he silenced me with a kiss. “Bailey, I want you very badly, but if it’s not to be, then I’ll cherish our time together and write songs about our love. You’ve showed me the loving side of life, and I’ll be eternally grateful to you for that. I see everything in color now. You’ve changed my life in ways you can never imagine,” he said.

“You’ve changed my life too. I never expected to fall in love with a hot rock star and have the best cruise of my life. I love you, Jesse,” I said.

“I love you too,” he said, pushing through the doors to the dining hall. Everyone was already sitting at the table drinking their coffee.

“Morning,” I said tentatively to everyone.

“Morning, Bailey,” John, Keith, and Scott said in unison. Shelly just looked at me with a sad face. I looked at her and smiled; she gave me her I’m-sorry smile. Scott took her hand and kissed her knuckles as I sat down next to Jesse. I ordered coffee, listening to
the chatter around the table. Everyone was pumped about tonight’s performance. I didn’t say much, just drank my coffee as our breakfast was served. I didn’t want to be a wet blanket on their fun as I tried to pull myself out of my funk.

“So, Shelly, Bailey tells me you made her quite the offer this morning!” Jesse said, winking at me.

“Oh really, what was that?” Scott asked. I started to giggle, watching her squirm in her seat. Jesse nodded his head in her direction, both of us watching her comfort level drop. Scott was looking for answers, and she had nothing to say. Imagine that, my best friend speechless!

“Nothing, just girl talk,” she smiled at Scott.

“Oh, the elusive girl talk. When my sisters get together, they giggle and whisper; they have their own lingo—who knows what the hell they’re talking about?” Scott said, smiling at her. If he only knew!

Jesse gave her the raised-eyebrows look, and she put her head down. Her face was bright red. He finally got her.

“Your friend is speechless,” Jesse said, looking at me with wiggly eyebrows, making me giggle. He leaned over for a kiss, winking at Shelly.

God, I love this man
. He tackled a sticky situation head-on and turned it around so that I could laugh about it. A big sigh of relief passed over me. I gripped tightly to Jesse’s hand as I watched Scott looking confused at Jesse and then at Shelly. Jesse just shrugged and drank his coffee.