Argh Fuck Kill: The Story of the DayGlo Abortions (39 page)

Bored, and always in the mood for some noise, Cretin started the Bloody Hells, which included Cretin on guitar and vocals, Harley aka Jeff Harding playing bass, and Calvert Courtney behind the drums. Unsurprisingly, the band sounded much like the DayGlo Abortions, but with more of an old-school punk attitude. The Bloody Hells were around for about eight months, and made a demo tape that should have been mixed and released as a proper album. Classic punk rock.

The DayGlos returned to Australia in July of 2003. This time, the two-week tour went fairly smoothly, and no one suffered a serious injury or went to jail. The details of this trip, however, are too blurred and entangled to be distinguishable from other tours. Suffice it to say that much booze was consumed and large amounts of substances were abused. Just making it home in one piece was an accomplishment in itself.

Summer found the band back in Alberta, making the rounds and drinking the beers. They were soon back home, watching the leaves change colours and wondering how a year had gone by so quickly. Where did the time go? It seemed to be going faster and faster.

At a rare practice in early 2004, Jesus Bonehead suggested that they get the bugs out of the new material because he had booked studio time in Toronto. Not just that, but the start date was only several weeks away. Cretin, who only had three songs, was not impressed. “He sprung it on me at the last moment, and there was nothing we could do but get on the plane,” says Acton, shaking his head. It had been quite a long time since the DayGlos had cut a new record, but now that day was finally coming. Despite the fact that they were not ready, the group was fully committed and could not turn back. “I was not happy,” Cretin recalls. “Bonehead pushed me into it.”

In early February, Cretin, Willy, and Bonehead briefly rehearsed the new material and did a show at the Cobalt Hotel in Vancouver before flying to Chemical Sound on King Street in Toronto. After recording three records at Sea of Shit Studios, Bonehead had decided to move on, at least in part because they still owed money from the last album. That notwithstanding, producer Ian Blurton had a solid reputation and, although the DayGlos would spend far more on this record than any of the others, the drummer was able to finagle a good deal. A shrewd businessman always.

Nigel Halloran and a friend Madman Dave arrived in Toronto to lend moral support. “Madman Dave was even nuttier than Nigel, if that’s possible,” says Willy Jak. The boys were never surprised to see their old friend Nigel, who would take the twenty-three hour flight from Australia with little forethought. “Nigel showed up so often that Bonehead was starting to think he was a cop,” jokes Willy. “He was always around.”

Settling in at Chemical Sound, the band was determined to buckle down to work instead of messing around as they had on the chaotic
Death Trip 2000
sessions. Cretin, who was particularly motivated, seemed to have recovered from his meth-induced haze, and the studio fairly hummed with excitement. “Murray would pack a lunch and show up early. He’d bring yogurt and stuff,” recalls Gymbo. When the band started recording, it soon became apparent that the new album was going to be worth the wait and then some.

The band was thrilled to learn that the mixing board Blurton would be using had also supposedly been used to produce an Alice Cooper album. Mostly, that just meant that the equipment was old, but it was good enough for the DayGlo Abortions, and engineer Ian Blurton definitely knew his stuff. At Ian’s behest, Willy recorded with an Orange bass amplifier, and Bonehead used a special studio drum kit. The band immediately began laying the bed tracks, including four of Gymbo’s songs: “Christina Bin Laden,” “Scientology,” “Surfer Girl,” and “Vince Neil.” At one point, Ian asked Gymbo if he wanted to record his vocals from a small black box with no windows, but the singer declined. Other than that curious suggestion, Blurton made few other comments and was content mostly to listen. “I kinda wondered about that,” says Gymbo, thinking back.

Willy borrowed a Les Paul bass from Troy Sinister because Blackie LeBlanc had accidentally broken Willy’s guitar at the Cobalt show. “I forgot to thank Troy on the CD, and I’ve always regretted that,” says the DayGlo bassist. If Troy reads this, then he’ll know that Willy appreciated the loan.

Not only did the DayGlos work hard in the studio, but the band also played every night to pay for the album, which reportedly cost in the neighbourhood of $50,000. The boys also recorded a live album at the Bovine Sex Club that never saw a full release. “It was a shit show because we were drunk and out of tune,” Willy Jak explains. The DayGlos may have stayed sober in the studio, but such considerations went out the window after dark. While the live recording may have been planned in advance, Willy believes the band came up with the idea on the spur of the moment. “Those tapes are still around somewhere,” he adds, unenthusiastically. Some things are best left buried.

One afternoon in the studio, Gymbo was talking about a girl he’d banged recently, when Ian Blurton recognized the name and spun in his chair to glare at the singer. “That’s my ex-wife you’re talking about!” growled the angry man. Though the girl was never mentioned again, it says much for Blurton’s ethics that he didn’t sabotage the mix purely out of spite.

Pressure mounted to find a suitable name for the album. The bandmembers suggested many titles, which Cretin immediately rejected. Then Gymbo was walking down the street one afternoon, when the words “holy Shiite” popped into his head. Since many of the songs were of a political bent, and the conflict in the Middle East was very much in the public eye, the title seemed to fit perfectly. Gymbo was prepared for Cretin to dismiss his suggestion, but the bandleader adopted it instantly.
Holy Shiite
was born.

Back in the studio, Cretin quickly rewired one of his songs, and “Holy Shiite” became the title track for the new album. The songwriter identifies religion as being the cause of not only the war in the Middle East, but of war in general. He makes no distinction between the Muslim faith and Christianity, which he paints with the same corrosive brush. In Acton’s eye, the world would be a much better place without organized religion of any sort. Is he wrong?

Cretin continues his anti-religious crusade on other songs such as “America Eats Her Young.” The songwriter/guitarist also blames organized religion for American foreign policy. Granted, former president George W. Bush made an easy and obvious target.

The DayGlo Abortions have never focused on American issues, but Ronald Reagan appears on the cover of
Feed Us a Fetus,
and Acton clearly detests US gluttony and materialism. He is well aware that Canada is not so different, and the distinction between the two countries seems to be getting blurrier each day. Canadians are no strangers to gluttony and avarice, and a quick glance at any newspaper will prove that northern greed is alive and well.

As always, the songwriter maintains that money, lust, and religion are the root cause of evil. This is never as apparent as in “Where’s Bin Laden?,” which is not about bringing the Muslim terrorist to justice as the title suggests, but is actually a plea for Osama Bin Laden to inflict additional punishment on a self-centred and spoiled Western world. Were Cretin an American citizen, the track would be enough to put him in Guantanamo Bay indefinitely.

Gymbo Jak wades into the political arena with the powerful “Christina Bin Laden,” which also fits the Middle Eastern theme. The lyrics depict a fictional American girl with an unfortunate name, forced to live her life scorned by neighbours and reviled by the world at large.

Rob Urbinati of Sacrifice was coerced into making a guest appearance on Gymbo’s song, “Scientology.” On his way to work one day, the metal musician dropped by the studio to contribute a guitar solo. “I hounded Rob for weeks, but it was worth it,” Gymbo reports.

Not all the songs on
Holy Shiite
are about religion, and in “My Kingdom on Earth,” Cretin describes the household washroom as being a place of sanctuary and solitude, away from needy children and nagging spouses. “Release the Hostages” is not a request to free political prisoners, but instead urges female fans to bare their breasts for the boys. Incredibly, there always seems to be at least a few cooperative punker girls at every DayGlos show. On “Is This How a Punk Song Goes?” Acton unloads on the mall punks:

“Let’s Get Drunk” is a raucous drinking anthem that features the immortal line “‘Cause if I was a wino, I’d never have to be on time-o.” Not since “Proud to be a Canadian” has Cretin written such a contagious and catchy number. A mortal enemy of sobriety the track fairly jumps off the record and pours beer down the listener’s throat. Classic DayGlos.

Willy’s favourite track is “America Eats Her Young,” which he feels is the best thing Cretin has written since the
Fetus
days. The bassist sometimes finds what he refers to as Cretin’s “poo-based humour” a bit hard to take. “I like the social commentary stuff best,” he admits. While the bassist feels that politics are the antithesis of punk, he also thinks music should have something to say other than “fuck, my shit stinks.” Cretin likes to combine the two.

Of all the tracks on the focused and fiery album, only “When the Big Hand Meets the Little Hand” might have been excluded. While Michael Jackson is indeed a worthy subject, the plodding number steals some of the thunder from what is otherwise an insightful masterpiece. Not that they’d ever really gone away, but the DayGlo Abortions were most definitely back.

With the clock ticking, the band finished recording in just five days. This time, instead of becoming involved with the mixing process, Cretin relinquished control to Ian Blurton. This act of faith required a great deal of trust on Cretin’s behalf, and he tried hard not to worry.
Holy Shiite
was now at the mercy of a stranger, one who could possibly ruin it. Willy regrets that the band had such a short time to learn the material. “We’d only been playing the songs for a couple weeks,” sighs the bassist. All things considered, the album turned out well.

The DayGlos returned to Victoria and rested for a spell but, as the release date for
Holy Shiite
drew nearer, Bonehead and Cherokee began to book the tour. Cherokee arranged most of the dates between British Columbia and Manitoba, and a promoter on the East Coast handled the others. As always, there were complications and Cherokee did his best to iron them out. “I don’t know how Cherokee got mixed up with us, but he’s a really great guy,” says Gymbo. How the promoter managed to retain his sanity is also unclear.

The arrangements were finally set and the group was ready to leave. Before they departed, the DayGlos loaded twenty-six boxes of merchandise into a van belonging to Sip Yek Nom, a quirky punk outfit from Hay River, Northwest Territories. There was little doubt that the DayGlo Abortions found Sip Yek Nom entertaining, but it was equally obvious that they needed their van. In fact, Sip Yek Nom had to rent
another
van for the tour, and the lads from Hay River set off across the vastness of Canada trailing their own vehicle, which was being driven by a foul-mouthed acoustic troubadour known as Mr. Plow. Rather than join Mr. Plow in the van, the DayGlos flew to Toronto to pick up Gymbo before continuing on to Halifax. Meanwhile, the two vehicles, known as Big Bear and Little Bear because of their polar bear-shaped license plates, drove for six-and-a-half days straight to reach Halifax in time for the first show. Mr. Plow and the Sip Yek Nom guys were exhausted when they finally arrived, but at last the fun was about to begin.

The lineup in Halifax on September 9th, 2004 snaked all the way around the block. Upon seeing the massive crowd outside, the venue owner immediately realized that he should have booked the band for two or three nights instead of just one. “It was insane how many people were there,” says Mr. Plow, recalling the teeming throng.

The show was predictably crazy, but several kids up front thought it would be great fun to spit on Gymbo, who thought otherwise. The singer warned them to stop and, when they didn’t, he leapt into the crowd and rained punches down on their heads while being held aloft by other fans in the pit. Instead of hitting a female who spat on him, Gymbo put his mouth over her nose and blew beer into her nasal cavities. After smashing more than a few beaks, Gymbo clambered back onto the stage. The DayGlos had not stopped playing and the pugilistic singer was able to pick up where he left off. Just another show, soaked with beer and dripping blood.