Appointed (14 page)

Zes nodded, trying to ignore the ache in his heart even if it was true. Their mother wouldn't do well if Anj was far away. She'd worry too much, and it was her worrying that kept Zes by his brother's side even if he knew Anj was right.

Anj exhaled deeply. “It's exhausting to have to hold back, don't you think?”

“Like you'd know anything about that,” Zes said, and stood up.

“That's not what I—”

“I don't care if that's not what you meant. It's still true. Don't talk about holding back like you've ever experienced it before. Selflessness isn't exactly your thing.”

“Wow.”

Zes only rolled his eyes and went into his bedroom, slamming the door just in case Anj thought the topic was up for further discussion. It wasn't.

 

 

“I know how to be selfless too,” Anj grumbled as he sat in the library. It was not quite how he'd imagined spending his night, seeing as how he'd given up his date night with Jewl to spend time with his heartbroken twin, but he didn't want to be anywhere near his brother at the moment. He needed some time to cool down. The whole point of being home for the night was so Zes wouldn't be alone and moping the whole time, but clearly he was dealing with his pain in other ways. Lashing out being one of them.

Anj groaned and threw his headphones onto the desk where he was working. “Whatever!”

“You tell that desk who's boss,” Denver teased from behind him.

“Don't you have something better to do?” Anj shot back.

“Nah, the girlfriend didn't want to go out tonight because she's still hung up on her toy. She seemed to think it'd be bad form, so I'm having fun in other ways. Like bugging you. Always a highlight.”

“Girlfriend? I didn't know you did those,” Anj said tersely.
He's lying. He has to be. Cheyenne wouldn't do that, not with the card she gave Zes and the way she's been acting lately.

Denver laughed. “Depends on your definition of ‘doing' and your definition of ‘girlfriend.'”

Anj's jaw tightened. “As in being in a committed relationship with a female.”

“I felt like trying something new. So yes, I am doing the girlfriend according to your definition.”

“And what about your definition?” he asked. Anj's heart broke for his brother, though there was still the possibility that Denver was lying.
But he doesn't lie. He teases. Torments. Manipulates. Though he never mentioned Cheyenne by name either.

Denver was quiet for a moment, and Anj could hear him run his hand over his chin. Anj could see perfectly in his mind the image of that cocky, annoying smirk Denver constantly wore.

“I've decided it's not your business to know,” he said at last. “You know you're not supposed to have drinks in here.”

“Only by the computers.” Anj breathed to keep himself calm.
Why can't he just go away?
He thought he felt a breeze, as if Denver had brushed past him. He could sense the guy was close. But when he reached out with his hand to see if his intuition was right, he grabbed only a fistful of air.

Denver chuckled. “Your stuff is in front of you, Mr. Magoo.”

“I know where my stuff is,” he grumbled.
It's
you
I'm worried about.
Every time Denver spoke, his position changed slightly. Not drastically, because Anj hadn't even noticed it, until he realized that when they'd first started talking, Denver had been to his left. Now he was on the right, and Anj couldn't remember when that had happened exactly nor did he know why Denver would want to move in the first place, especially in such a subtle fashion.

Then Denver touched him, clapping him firmly on the back as if they were best friends. “See you around.”

Anj blinked. He shook his head, puzzled. “What?” He rubbed at his eyes; they were dry and sore and maybe he had grown tired from his long day. Yawning, he took a sip of his coffee. Then he frowned.
I told the cafeteria lady to not put any sugar in it. Or cream.
If the coffeepots weren't reorganized every day, he'd pour it himself. But wasn't the point of having a barista on duty in the cafeteria to make sure the coffee came out right? He drank it anyway. Wouldn't have been the first time the staff messed up.

“I can't do this anymore,” he said to himself. After cleaning up his things, he decided it was time to go back to the room and make up with Zes. Every time they had a blowout, it killed Anj. His stomach churned when he remembered the warning the Elders had given him. Was this only the beginning of the end? Or was he reading too much into things?

He shook his head, finished the last of his coffee, and hit someone with his bag as he slung it over his shoulder. The whole thing set him off balance because he wasn't expecting the collision, and he nearly crashed into the desk he'd been working on.

“Sorry, I didn't know anyone was there,” he said. He must have been a lot more distracted than he'd thought if he'd allowed himself to be snuck up on twice. Usually, he could hear people coming well before they got close.

A timid hand gripped his shoulder. “I didn't mean to get in your way,” Teague said.

“You didn't. You're just stealthy — like a ninja — so I thought I was alone. Regardless, it's not a big deal. What
I
want to know is what you're doing here, because I thought you asked Halyn to go out tonight?” Anj asked, curious and looking for an excuse to delay going back to the dorm.

Teague laughed. “I chickened out. She got roses from three different guys, and I didn't get her those. I gave her daisies, and well, I mean, why would she pick me over someone who gave her roses? Plus
they
told me not to. You know, the blue door.”

“They tell me not to do a lot of things, and I don't always listen. You can do what you want. There's no law that says you have to do everything you're told by your Elders,” Anj said. “Rebel a little if it feels right.”

“I'm not sure it does, anyway, but I came up to you because I wanted to talk to you about the blue door.”

“Okay, what about it?” Anj folded his arms in front of him and leaned back to sit on the desk.

Teague let out a sigh of what sounded like relief and sat near Anj. “I saw them again. Have you?”

“Not yet. A little strange, since I tend to see them after just about every dream I have. Most of my dreams have been repeats, though, so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm not sure. I've gone through spurts where I didn't see them regularly before. But it is confusing since they said they wanted to teach me new things, to be observant, et cetera.” Anj waved a hand. “It's not important. Did they say something to you?”

“Yes. They said the next time they see you, you're supposed to have made your decision on telling her. That there is a ninety-nine-percent chance of the bad things they told you about happening if you don't take it back. Kale said the things you've been seeing are true but not to be sad. And that if you need help to talk to me about it.
He
picked me for you,” Teague said.

“Thanks,” Anj replied, although he had no idea what to do next. A ninety-nine-percent chance of losing Zes for good if he didn't change his mind about telling Jewl? There was no way he'd be able to talk to her about it. She would keep telling him to take it back. “
The things you've seen are true”… Is he talking about the visions I've been having about Dad? If so, then I can't trust anything Neil tells me anymore.
Anj could have been lied to for years.

Teague touched his arm. “Anytime. I want to be helpful, so please let me try? Even if I'm not super-smart. It all sounds sad, and they won't tell me things anymore either. Neil keeps saying to not let my dreams bother me and that I should enjoy my time here while I can. Then Kale frowns, and Francis starts to get teary. It's kind of scary, and I don't have a confidante to talk to like you do so—”

“You could probably tell Jewl too,” Anj offered.

“Oh, so that's who they're talking about.”

“She knows. She can help.”

“But I want your help too,” Teague stated.

Anj forced a smile. “I'm only saying. She's good at dealing with scary things. Are you starting to remember more of your dreams?”

“Yep! Your ideas helped a lot. Thanks. A lot of the details are still fuzzy, but the events are clear. I just don't know who anyone is.”

“What do you dream about? Past? Present? Future?”

“Right now, I think it's the past, but I've seen future things too. Those ones are more scary than the past. That's when I go to the red desert and see the bad woman with the red angel. I've been having that dream more instead of the nice ones with my family,” Teague said.

“The only red place I know is the underworld,” Anj said, his voice quiet. “This red angel, do you call him that because he has red wings?”

“With silver. They're dark, kind of like blood.”

“Lucien,” Anj said.

“You know his name?”

“Unfortunately. What do you see in your dreams? Tell me everything you can remember.”

Teague's breathing changed. It grew quicker in pace, and the desk moved as he quivered. “I don't remember. Lots of bad things. That's all I know.”

“I know you're lying to me,” Anj said, but he tried to be as gentle about it as possible. “I've been doing this for a long time. I'm guessing this is new for you?” Teague was quiet. “If you're nodding, you realize I can't see it.”

“Sorry, sometimes I forget. Yes, it's new. I think. From what I remember of back home, this isn't something I did.”

Anj nodded, scratching his chin and trying to think of a way to word things so Teague would understand. “That's what I thought. If there's one thing I want you to understand, it's this. The dreams can be scary sometimes, but shoving them away only makes them keep coming back. You have to face it and be brave. They're obviously trying to tell you something important. If you're not ready to talk about them right now, I won't make you.”

“M-maybe next time.”

“That's fine,” Anj said with a yawn. “I'm feeling run down all of a sudden. It's been a long day.”

“Sleep well.”

“I always try.” Anj waved.

When he got back to his dorm room, Zes was still shut up in his bedroom. Guy greeted Anj at the door with a bark. Taking the time to pet the dog, Anj waited to see if maybe Zes would come out and say something. He didn't. With a sigh, Anj wrote a small note on a piece of notebook paper before slipping it under his brother's door.

“I'm sorry.”

He lay down to sleep, his body a lot heavier than usual and cold. Why was it so cold all of sudden? Shivering, he pulled the covers up tight around his body and closed his eyes. As soon as they were shut, he saw an image of Lucien grinning wickedly at him, wings outstretched menacingly.
Teague's right. They do look a lot like blood,
he thought, and then Lucien lunged at him and everything returned to darkness.