Aphrodite's Reject: You Can't Lay Off Love (2 page)

Well I’ll be damned. No, not literally, that would be horrible! No, what I just realized is that it did hit Sally, hard, right there in the gut. Love at first sight. Yep, who’d da woman? Uh, that would be me, of course. I made it happen, just like I said I would. Don’t you just love being in love?

Okay, so what I need to do now, is help Sally work through her denial, both of losing her job, and of being in love. One is vastly different from the other, but both will lead to her complete happiness. Yes, yes, of course. And to my complete success as a love guardian.

There she is now. It’s been a while since I had to take corporeal form, I hope I still remember how.

“Sally, over here.” Rita was sitting at a booth, waving for her.

“Hi Rita. Will you order me a drink, while I run to the little girls room, please.”

“Sure. What do you want?”

Sally set her purse down and said, “Um, how about an Amaretto?”

That’s my cue, wish me luck!

“Hi Rita. Wasn’t that Sally just now?”

“Yes it was. Um, do I know you?”

“Sure you do. We work together at the hospital. Don’t tell me you don’t remember me?”

“Oh, of course I do. How have you been?”

“I’m terribly worried about Sally.”

“I know what you mean. I am too.”

“Did you know that the other day, the day she was laid off, she was offered a job that very afternoon?”

“Really? That’s wonderful.”

“Not so wonderful. She panicked and left, the poor thing.”

“Why do you suppose she did that?”

“Why don’t we ask her?”

Sally returned to their table, curious to know who was talking with Rita. “Hi, did I miss anything?”

“Hi, Sally. You remember me from the hospital, don’t you? I was so sorry to hear about you being laid off.”

“Not as sorry as I was.” Sally sarcastically joked.
Who is this lady?

“Well, I’ll let you two get back to your dinner. It was nice seeing you again, Rita. You too, Sally.”

“You too…, um… don’t be a stranger.” Rita racked her brain, but she still couldn’t come up with a name for the stranger. She turned to Sally and asked, “Do you know who that is?”

“No. I thought she was a friend of yours.”

“I’ve never seen her before in my life.”

Sally found that curious, “So what did she want?”

“I don’t know. She mostly talked about you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, she said you were offered a job the same day you were laid off. Is that true, Sally?”

Blindsided, Sally craned her neck to try and get another look at the strange woman, but she had disappeared already. Reluctantly she looked back at Rita, and nodded her head. “It’s true. I ended up in a little Italian restaurant that day, and stuffed my face with the best baked bread, this side of heaven. I’m not sure why I asked for a job. I think maybe it was because I saw a help wanted sign in the window. It was so surreal. Like something was coaxing me to go in there. Anyway, I guess I had asked for a job because a gorgeous lady, who looked to be in her thirties, told me she was looking for an accountant. What are the odds of that happening?”

“Who puts a help wanted sign in the window anymore?”

“Apparently that woman does. Oh Rita, she was so gorgeous, in her little chef’s hat, and starch white uniform. I took one look at her, and…”

“And you ran away, didn’t you?” Sally lowered her head. “When are you going to stop doing that, Sally? Maybe this woman is your soul mate. Maybe that job was sent to you on purpose. Did you ever think of that? You’re worth so much more than what they gave you credit for at the hospital. Maybe this is opportunity knocking.”

More like Abderus knocking. Okay, so the healing has begun, and love is a possibility…, again. Now we just have to get these two crazy kids back together, and let nature take its course.

“There’s just one small little problem, Rita.”

“Don’t tell me.”

“You see, I sort of got loaded that night, and now I can’t remember where I was, when I found the restaurant.”

“You’ve never drank a day in your life, Sally. You must have fallen hard for that woman to go to that extreme.”

“I think you may be right. I mean, it was just all too much for me, you know? I just wanted to hide from it all.”

“And did it help?”

“No, it gave me a terrible hangover, and a terrible stomach ache. Olive oil and vodka don’t mix. Never again, that’s for sure. Never again.”

Oh, so that’s what that smell was. I should have stayed with her, but hind sight is more fun than, oh wait, that’s not what that word means, is it? Well anyway, now I have to come up with a plan… what alphabet am I up to? Plan D? That’s it, plan D. Or if you think about it, this seems more like a Cinderella story now. Of course! Cinder‒fucking‒rella! What? Oh come on, you know I had to say it.

Okay, so, Sally has no memory of where Teo is at. Thank the stars that she remembers everything else, or I’d be starting all over again, and that just isn’t going to happen. Not on my watch. So, how to help these two, find each other again. I know, a lottery! Nah, been there, done that. I guess Sally could just visit every Italian restaurant in town. How many could there be? Fifteen! Seriously? Wow, that’s a some spicy meat… well, never mind. Just an old commercial you’re probably to young to remember. So, visiting all those restaurants will take too long, and… I’ve got it!! Oh this is brilliant!

Okay so see if you can follow me on this. Teo owns an Italian restaurant. Sally sits at home and watches soap operas every day now. The local television station is having a special on cooking Italian dishes. Badda boom, badda bing! What? Oh sure, you get it. I’ll arrange for Teo to be on that tv show, and make sure Sally is watching. Brilliant, yes? Of course it is.

“Momma, telephone call for you.”

“Thanks hon, I’ll take it back here.” Teo set in her office, going over her menu for the next week. She picked up the phone, surprised to learn that KTVH was on the other end. Hot Springs only has the one television station, but it’s very popular with the retired locals. “Of course, I would love to be on your show. Anything special you’d like me to cook? Oh sure, I can fix that. All right, I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

“Today we are joined by Chef Teodora Roma, who owns Roma’s Italian Bistro on Central Avenue.” Fred Dade, co‒anchor, gave a plastic smile to the camera, “We’ll put up that address after the show. So Chef, what delicious meal are you preparing for us today?”

“Something hot and spicy, Fred, that will bring out the devil in you. It called shrimp fra diavolo.” Teo said as she crushed some red peppers and scooped them into a saucepan. “You see, diavolo means devil in Italian.” Next she added some fresh garlic to the sauce, then checked on her shrimp.

“Oh that does make my mouth water. Let’s put the recipe up so the folks at home can see it.”

Across town, Sally stared irritably at the TV. It wasn’t the recipe she wanted to see.

“So what’s the secret on making good shrimp fra diavolo?”

“The secret in the sauce, is to add just the right amount of peppers. Too many peppers, and you need the fire department to put out the fire. Too few, and you end up with rubber shrimp. The best part is that it’s up to the people at home to decide how many peppers is enough.”

With pen and paper at the ready, Sally waited impatiently for the address to flashed on the screen.

The rest, as they say, my children, is history. But I’ll tell you anyway because I went through a hell of a lot to get those two together, and I want to brag a little. Right after the show, Sally jumped in the shower, put a few curls in her otherwise flat hair, added extra rouge and lipstick to her beaming face, and put on her sexiest business suit. Okay so the suit wasn’t really sexy, but she left a few extra buttons undone, and hiked up the skirt higher than she normally would. It’s working for her too, because that extra peek at her thighs invited me in to places, even I shouldn’t go. I said shouldn’t, not didn’t.

Sally stood in the restaurant, her resume in hand, hoping that she wasn’t too late. That the position, in every sense of the word, hadn’t been filled already. I guess people really do watch that news station, because the place was hopping with hungry patrons everywhere. An added bonus from yours truly. So anyway, Sally was just on the verge of changing her mind, when I nudged her forward a bit. The poor dear was more nervous than a virgin at a nympho convention. Oh, there’s a vision I want to savor for a bit. What? All right, maybe later. Let’s watch, and see what happens, shall we?

Suddenly, there she was, the sexy chef that Sally had been looking for. The room stood still, as if the air had been sucked out of it. Everything and everyone became a blur, as the two women glided toward each other. Eyes sparkling, lips pursing, they embraced, and kissed the kiss of love. A long kiss that bound them together, searing their souls into one.

Oh it brings a tear to my eye. Amore. Meraviglioso, profonda, sensuale, magnifico amore. Love. Wonderful, deep, sensual, magnificent love. I better leave before I completely lose my self-control. Arrivederci, my children, until the next love story comes along.

The En‒‒

No wait! I forgot to tell you the second best part! Sally’s asshole of a boss, Mr. Taylor, was laid off the very next day, after he had laid off her. But unlike Sally, Taylor doesn’t deserve my special talents. For now, Sally is basking in even more than just the afterglow of her lover’s skilled touch. You go girl! Okay, this time it really is…

The End

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