Anytime Soon (13 page)

“No, it's not a problem. But I'm worried about you walking in the parking lot when it's dark outside.”

His tone was formal, like a supervisor, but his eyes weren't.

There was a familiar, soft look in them.

“I'll be okay,” I promised. “I have pepper spray in my purse, and I'm not afraid to use it.”

I smiled, but he didn't.

“Please be careful. Let me know when you plan to work late.

Maybe I can arrange to be here, or we can work something out.”

“Okay,” I nodded in agreement.

“I miss seeing you on campus,” he said.

“I know. It's so weird not being there anymore,” I said quietly.

“It's nice having you here, though,” he quickly replied. He stood with his hands in his pockets. If I wasn't mistaken, he looked nervous about something.

“I haven't seen you much this week,” I said.

“Yeah, there's a lot going on,” he told me, but he looked away.

“I've been busy,” he offered vaguely.

“Okay,” I said.

“I have an idea,” he said in a lighter tone. “How about we make Fridays our lunch days?”

“Really?” I asked. “Every Friday?”

“Well, within reason,” he laughed. “We obviously won't be able to make it every single Friday, but we can give it our best shot.

How about that?”

I smiled. “Okay.”

I was surprised when he walked over and gave me a hug. He felt warm and smelled like soap.

I knew that I was treading on tricky ground and that we had begun to form more of a friendship rather than a working relationship. I considered backing off because I felt things for him that I had no business feeling. Our schedules were busy and often conflicted, so the majority of our time together entailed communicating over the telephone or e-mail. When I saw him at work, it was usually in passing. But even though we didn't spend much time together, he grew on me. I began to trust him and found myself wanting to share with him in a way I hadn't shared with anybody, ever. We talked about our dreams, our fears, and our mistakes. I should have known I was in trouble when I started talking to him about my family. I was a fiercely private person and hardly ever shared information about my family. This was something I hadn't even done with Carl. One night, Carl called and asked me to go out.

“I'm swamped with work and school,” I told him.

“Wow, that must be one helluva position,” he said with mock awe. “You ain't
never
got time.”

“I know, I'm sorry,” I apologized. “All my friends are out of the loop, too, I assure you. I believe things will settle down soon.”

“Can you at least call every now and then?” he asked pointedly.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I mean, I
do
call you.”

“No, you don't,” he observed.

I didn't respond. I knew I wasn't making any sense. I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of having a real relationship with Jeff. Why had I let my friendship with Jeff interfere with a potential relationship with Carl?

“I have to go to Arizona for a few days,” he said suddenly.

I was immediately curious. “Oh?” I asked. “For what?”

“Mostly for pleasure. But one of my aunts has a house down there, and she wants me to check on the tenants. She thinks they're tearing the place up, and she won't be able to get there for a while. It's not a big deal, but I told her I'd go. A guy can always use a little getaway, you know.”

“Oh,” I said, realizing the other shoe was about to drop.

“Would you like to go with me?” he asked.

“Huh?” I asked stupidly.

He cleared his throat. “I figured if you wanted to go . . . I mean, if you wanted to hang out or had never been to Arizona before, then you might wanna go.”

“When are you leaving?” I asked, intrigued.

“The day after tomorrow. I thought it would be nice to spend the time,” he continued. “I know you like warm weather, and it seems like you could use a little vacation. We could visit my cousin Brian. He's interesting, an investment banker, and his wife's a teacher. Maybe we could even try to make it to the Grand Canyon, if you want. I mean, I know it's a pretty big deal. I just thought I'd ask. I understand if you don't want to.”

“Sure,” I said.

“I understand,” he said. “I know it's short notice—Wait, what did you say?” he asked.

“I said I'd like to go to Arizona with you. I will have to request the time off from work, but it should be fine.”

“Great!” Carl exclaimed. “Check with your job and let me know if you can do it. I'll take care of your ticket.”

I could hear how giddy he was. A trip did sound like a good idea; I needed some time away from Jeff. However, even though it didn't make sense, I felt like I was betraying Jeff by going to Arizona with Carl.

Taylor approved my time off. I told my parents I would be away for a couple of days visiting friends.

My mom didn't even ask me what friends I was going to see. I thought it was unusual of her not to interrogate me about the trip. But she merely told me to be careful and to call when I landed in Arizona. I found it a bit strange, but I didn't push it. I hadn't told her about Carl yet, and I didn't want to try explaining why I was going on an overnight trip with a guy she hadn't met or even heard of before. I hadn't even told Sophie or Catie; I wasn't ready for their commentary yet.

Carl left early Thursday morning, and I left late Thursday night. That way I would only have to miss one day of work. That Thursday, I tried my hardest to avoid Jeff. I thought about telling him I would be out of town, but time got away from me. I didn't even see him that day. He was in meetings, and Taylor had me working on another project.

When Carl arrived at the airport to pick me up in the rental car, I got nervous. He got out of the car and put my bag in the back seat. He gave me a hug and opened the door for me.

I stared at his clothes. “Are you wearing pajamas?” I asked after he got in the car.

“These, my friend, are casual bottoms,” he chuckled.

“They look like pajamas to me,” I said suspiciously.

“Well, after I got in earlier, I showered and threw on some lounge clothes. Is that alright with you,
Mizz
Goode?”

“That's fine,” I obliged.

The ride to the hotel was a little quiet. I started to get anxious about spending the weekend with Carl, especially because we were sharing a room. I knew he was a gentleman, so that gave me some comfort. The main thing was to get away from Jeff for a few days.

The hotel was nice; nothing fancy, but tastefully decorated. It smelled like lime, which made me relax. But when we got to our room, I got queasy again.

Carl sensed my anxiety. “Is this gonna be okay for you?” he said, concerned.

I nodded yes.

“I can get another room,” he offered. “Are you uncomfortable? I should have asked whether or not you wanted separate rooms.”

“No, it's okay. I didn't expect you to pay for two rooms.”

I showered and got into my pajamas. When I came out, I sat down on the bed next to Carl.

“So, now what?”

“Now we chill,” he said. “No agenda, no plan. We just hang out.”

“Oh, okay,” I said shyly. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming.” He lifted my head and kissed me gently.

I kissed him back.

“Why are you making me chase you so hard?” he asked when the kiss ended.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why does it take an Act of Congress to get you to go out with me? I like you, Anaya. Give me a chance.”

I am here giving you a chance, aren't I?

“Carl, I'm not ready for anything serious.”

“I get that. I can understand that. Do you like spending time with me?”

“Of course I do. I've been busy lately and haven't had a lot of time to hang out,” I said, feeling guilty as I spoke. That excuse wasn't technically a lie. But the truth was that I was too busy for Carl because I had been spending time with Jeff.

“When you like somebody, you are supposed to make time,” Carl pointed out. “Food for thought, Miss Goode,” he said with a short smile.

“Point taken,” I said.

He nodded his head but didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed me again, a little harder this time. The kiss felt good. I didn't pull away. I kissed him back and found myself thinking about Jeff, who hadn't tried to kiss me at all. I tried to shake Jeff out of my mind. Carl and I cuddled and talked until we both fell asleep.

The next morning, we had a breakfast of trout and eggs at a bohemian place, and then we went to the mall. We held hands and laughed a lot. Carl bought me a t-shirt from the Armani Exchange store, and I got him a sweatshirt from Footlocker.

After we left the mall, we drove to his cousin's house through sunny desert terrain with hordes of tall cactus, all with their prickly arms out, reaching for me. I fell asleep on the way, but Carl woke me up with a small kiss on the lips.

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” he said sweetly.

I yawned. “I'm awake.”

He kept peering over at me.

“What?” I squinted.

He grinned in happiness like a crazy man. “I like you, Anaya. That's all.”

I quickly changed the subject. “So, who's going to be at the barbecue?”

“Cousin Brian said friends and family. They have a bunch of kids.”

So I straightened up and prepared to meet everyone. As it turns out, their pug was the first friend I made at the barbecue. Next, I was approached by Brian's wife, who immediately asked me how I'd met Carl.

“School,” I said. “We attend the same school . . . You have a nice home.”

I didn't want to be obvious, but I didn't want to entertain a conversation about Carl. Relatives could be pushy about things like relationships.

“Well, when you have a house full of boys, it does take some work. But I'm the energetic type.” She threw me a beautiful smile and got up to entertain her other guests.

The rest of the day was pleasant. Brian turned on some music, and Carl and I played dominoes with another couple. Carl was good at dominoes. He talked a lot, like Uncle Allen does when he plays. I enjoyed watching Carl slam the dominoes down on the table and talk trash to the other players.

At the end of the day, when we had returned to the hotel room, I told him, “I had a nice time.”

“I'm glad,” he nodded, his face suddenly serious. “I wanted you to meet some of my family who weren't from the projects and didn't spend all day drinking or popping pills.”

His words stung me. “Carl, I have never made any kind of comment or judgment about anybody in your family,” I said firmly.

“You don't have to,” he shrugged, striding across the room to face me.

“What's
that
supposed to mean?” I was getting upset.

“You don't think you're better than I am, Ny?”

“What?”

“You don't think you're better than I am?” he repeated.

“Carl, no,” I said emphatically. “That's crazy. Where would I get off thinking like that? When I spend time with you, I spend time with
you
.” I pointed to his heart, touching him gently. “I'm not thinking about your parents, or your sisters, or anybody else in your family. When I'm with you, I'm with you.”

He looked over at me and blinked several times as if tears might come. After he was quiet for too long, I nudged him.

He looked at me oddly and said, “That's the first time you've ever expressed any kind of feeling for me.”

“No, it's
not
,” I protested.

“Yes, it
is
,” he insisted.

“No, it's not.”

“Yes, it is, Anaya.”

Maybe he's right. It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've been
accused of hiding my feelings.

“Look, I don't want to fight,” he said. “I asked you here to show you a good time, and that's what I intend to do.”

In silence, we re-dressed to go out on the town. I tried to recall all of our conversations and any comments I'd made about his family. I put it out of my mind for the sake of the trip, but it still bothered me.

We went to a club downtown. The music was good, and the atmosphere was nice. The best part was that Carl was a star on the dance floor, so we grooved the night away, taking a few breaks to drink a cocktail or two. As we danced, I felt him touching me in places he knew he shouldn't. At first, I pushed his hands away, but after a few apple martinis, I let his hands roam freely.

We kissed a few times as we danced, and on the way back to our room, we made out in the elevator of our hotel. The kisses were passionate, so when I stopped kissing him back, Carl noticed the change.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Is this elevator spinning?”

He laughed. “To you it probably is.”

To keep my balance, I took off my stilettos.

When we got off the elevator, Carl helped me down the hallway, because now the entire fourteenth floor was whirling.

“Go slow!” I pleaded.

When he opened the door to the room, I staggered to the bed and collapsed in a fog. Somewhere out there, I could hear his voice.

“Do you want me to help you out of these?” he asked, tugging on my sleeve.

“Mmm.”

I let him take off my jewelry and my dress, but I stopped him when he got to my panties. Even in my stupor, I was thinking about Jeff.

Carl started kissing me all over.

“We can't,” I mumbled.

“Can't what?”

“Have sex.”

“Who wants to have sex with
you
?” he asked breathlessly.

“
You
do.”

“No, I don't,” he explained. “You wanna have sex with me. I'm just trying to be nice,” he said, still kissing me.