Anything but Minor (30 page)

I studied Rafe’s face and the drop in my selfish gut was instantaneous. I pressed it back and found a sincere and proud smile. “You got the call.”

He pushed out a breath, the worry in his features clear, and I shook my head.

“Don’t, Rafe, this is fantastic! I’m so happy for you, really. Oh my God, this is really happening!” My facade was ice thin, and I already knew he could see the cracks.

“Happy?” He reached out with his hand and wiped the wetness away from my cheek with his finger.

“Happy tears,” I lied as he pulled me to him and forced my chin up with a gentle hand.

“I love you,” he whispered.

I said the only thing I could say. The only words the lump in my throat would allow. “I know.”

Rafe wanted to stop at Andy’s to give him the news before we went home. I was sure I was doing a pretty good job at hiding my devastation, but Rafe kept our hands locked and looked over at me every few seconds as he drove. I kept quiet, too afraid of the burn at the top of my throat. When I felt brave enough, I threw out questions.

“Where?”

“Denver.”

“Are you happy about that?”

“Absolutely.”

“When?”

He looked over at me with pause.

“I’m okay,” I lied with a smile. “Rafe, when?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” I repeated without emotion as my heart completely shattered. Tomorrow would be the worst day of my life. I made peace with it, swallowed, and gripped his hand as I turned to him. “You deserve this. It happened. It was always going to happen.”

Rafe looked over at me and pulled my left hand to his lips. He kissed my empty ring finger twice and set it down. “No end, Alice.”

We stood at the entrance of the bar I’d entered completely green only short months ago. Rafe gripped my hand tighter as I spotted Andy leaning over the well as he spoke to Mac, a regular I’d had a few conversations with. In fact, I knew the names of everyone on the stools. I’d found my tribe, my village, and with one phone call, I felt like I was about to lose it all. I prayed my smile was Oscar worthy as the second tear ripped through my chest. Andy looked up at us curiously as we remained where we were. A slow, incredulous smile covered his face as he looked at Rafe. “Listen up,” Andy shouted over the chaos, his eyes still on Rafe as his smile remained. “That man standing at the door is Rafe “The Bullet” Hembrey and he’s going to the show!” The whole bar erupted as Rafe began to walk forward and let go of my hand. Andy rounded the bar and met him halfway as they did the man-hug thing. Andy caught my eye over Rafe’s shoulder, and I gave him a wink before I moved my gaze over to Kristina. She stood paralyzed as her solemn face searched mine for any sign of emotion. I kept my face firm as the entirety of the bar stepped up to congratulate Rafe one by one.

“Drinks on the fucking house!” Andy declared as the noise level increased. I let my face fail me briefly and saw Kristina move and shook my head in a firm no.

She nodded once and began to pour as orders were thrown at her in rapid succession. I moved to help her, but Andy caught my hand. I looked up to him as his gentle blue eyes peered down at me. “Kristina could use my help—” I laughed dryly “—and yours.”

“Alice—”

“Please don’t,” I said as I ripped my hand away and walked behind the bar. Kristina and I knocked out the orders as Rafe and Andy chatted animatedly at one of the cocktail tables.

“Alice,” Kristina said in a plea as she dried a highball glass with a towel, “God, are you okay?”

I blew out a breath. I was finally numb enough to answer. “I just wanted a little more time.” I shrugged as another overwhelming round of pain shot through my chest. “It was too good to be true.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“Men like that...” I said as I gripped Mac’s empty mug and poured a horrible draft of foam. “Men like Rafe are too much to keep.” I turned to look at Kristina and saw her eyes on Rafe. I took a step back as he glanced our way with a smile. I smiled back as Kristina averted her eyes. Realization dawned as I studied her face, the same devastation I felt etched all over it. Alarm struck me first as I watched her heart break. Slight anger surfaced as I realized how obvious it had been, and then an overwhelming sense of understanding replaced it. Of course she loved Rafe. God, I’d been so damned blind. She’d been nothing but good to me since we’d met, and not only that, she’d been forced to watch us fall in love.

My heart ached for her as I watched her eyes avert painfully, the same expression she’d worn a dozen or so times in his presence. I’d been completely oblivious, too happy in my newfound love and ignorant to her infatuation. I felt the guilt replace the anger as I stepped over to her and wrapped my arm around her waist in a half-hug. “The man we love is leaving.”

Kristina looked over to me with tear-filled eyes. “Fuck, Alice, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t, if you cry, I’ll cry.”

“Then I’ll cry,” Mac said in a drunken slur. Kristina ignored him as her eyes scanned my face for any sign of anger. I turned to her and pulled her to me with a whisper. “I love you, too, but back off my man, bitch.”

She laughed as she pulled away from me and caught her tears before they escaped. “I’ve been so damned stupid. He never even saw me.” She gulped back more tears as she began to wipe the water rings off the bar and looked over at me with clear guilt. “I would never
ever
do anything to—”

“I know.” I picked up a bottle and poured two shots of something blue. She grabbed her glass and mine and threw the liquid in the sink. “That’s not a shot, Alice.”

“Make it strong,” I urged as she began gathering bottles and I studied her. She was insanely beautiful. I would never understand it. “How could he not see you?”

“I guess he was waiting for you.”

“You could have told me.”

“Then
I
would have missed out on
you
.”

Her lips pursed and her eyes closed with emotion as I questioned her. “Andy?”

“He knows,” she said with the shake of her head. “He figured it out.” She shook the tin filled with ice and liquor as she spoke. “I’m leaving for Atlanta in two weeks. Andy still doesn’t want me to go, but I can’t stay. I feel guilty, you know?”

“For not loving him?”

“I’ve reached the conclusion that I love them both,” she said as she eyed their table and turned worried eyes back to me. “Please don’t hate me.”

“You could’ve hated
me
. You could’ve played it so differently. You never even threw your hat in the ring.” I shook my head as I choked on the burn of the shot.

“I never had a chance,” she said as she turned to me. “And I’m so happy for you both.”

I shrugged. “It was a fairytale, and it’s midnight. How am I going to do this without you?”

“Don’t think like that,” she insisted. “And I’m only going to be five hours away.”

“I want this to be different for both of us,” I said wistfully.

“Me too. But, hey,” she assured with a shaky voice, “I’ll find him. He’s out there. Or you know what, fuck that.
He
will find me.”

“Toast to that,” I said as she filled our glasses again and I tossed back the sweet but potent concoction.

Kristina and I were a disaster an hour after that. We’d downed one too many shots and ended up spraying each other with the bar guns as angry patrons waited for beers.

Endless I love yous were exchanged between Kristina and I as Rafe looked on with a smirk, and Andy fought us for our guns and got soaked in the process. Dripping wet and still shattered, I looked over to Rafe as the worst of the buzz hit me, and I realized my mistake. My devastation must have reared its ugly head because minutes later, I was in his Jeep, staring at the sky above as I fought for breath.

Hours after I helped Rafe pack, I lay in his bed, wrapped in his arms, and stared at the ceiling fan in the dark. His room was half-lit by the moon coming through the window and the blue lights emitting from our charging iPhones. I couldn’t bring myself to look anywhere else. I knew on the floor next to the bathroom was a set of bags that held his essentials for
months
, not weeks. I knew on my keyring on the table next to that luggage was a newly added spare key to his Jeep. He hadn’t given me too many details, but I knew that soon the whole room would be empty and he would be living in Denver while I remained in Charleston.

He was leaving.

He was leaving to start his Major career, a career that would probably mean the end of us. I stared at the fan as it circled, and Rafe tightened his grip on me. It had been hours since he’d taken me and made me whole, only to rip me apart again with the look on his face. I braved a whisper in the dark, too afraid to look at him, and unsure if he was awake.

“Rafe?”

“Yeah, baby?” Tears threatened as I realized he was just as pensive as I was.

“I need you to teach me how to play it cool.”

His lips brushed my temple as my chest finally exploded, and I stifled a sob. Soft lips brushed my shoulder before he moved to whisper softly in my ear. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” I heard my voice shake as he pulled me closer and whispered again.

“I fell for you the way you are.”

“That’s selfish.”

“And I always will be when it comes to you.”

“Promise?” I turned to look over at him, and despite the lack of light, I could clearly see the worry in his features. I hated myself for dampening a day that should be the greatest of his life.

“Alice—”

“You’re right. You can’t promise me anything. You never have.”

“That’s not true.”

He moved to hover above me as he attempted to wipe the pain from my face with his fingers, and then with his words and kiss.

“Do you believe that I love you, Alice?”

I nodded, furious with myself. “Yes.”

“That’s my promise.”

I nodded again as he kissed me deeply and sank between my legs.

“Alice, listen to me,” he said as he eased my t-shirt up and over my head. “The world could disappear tomorrow and I’d only worry about a fucking tiny list of people. But the thing I would need in order to breathe again would be to see your face,” he declared as he pushed his fingers inside me and my breath caught. I arched my back and spread wider as he sipped my nipples and then rubbed the thick head of him through my folds. I was deliciously sore but moaned my welcome.

“Rafe,” I rasped out as he drove into me.

“We won’t disappear,” he promised as he pumped frantically. “We won’t.”