Anyone? (23 page)

Time, the realm of minutes and hours, no longer applied—only
light and darkness and the space in between. When I opened my eyes, I had no
idea whether the time was nine at night or three in the morning. It didn’t really
matter, though I hoped I hadn’t wasted too many hours that should have been
used to find my family.

My body and mind had needed the extended sleep so much that
I’d experienced one of the best nights—or I should say days—of sleep in a long
time despite the hard boxcar floor. But as I rolled to my side, my neck, back, and
hips protested my sudden movement.
Not good.
I took it easy, sat up in
the darkness, and stretched each of my limbs in turn to work out the knots in
my muscles. It felt like I had literally not moved a muscle the entire time I’d
slept.

Moonlight flittered through the open door, splashing over
the wooden floorboards, but not enough to pierce the dark corners. I reached
for my backpack to find the headlamp I’d discarded earlier, but my fingers brushed
over Callie’s leash, reminding me of what was really important.
The poor
girl, forced to watch me sleep for hours.
I planned to make it up to her
with lots of love and a few extra treats. She’d been so good to not bug me, and
deserved a showering of kitty-loving attention.

I whistled low and tugged the leash to draw her to me, but
it didn’t resist as I’d expected and snapped toward me, empty of one cat and
her harness.
What? No!

I fought against my sleeping bag, struggling to maneuver my
body from the tight confines, and felt around in the darkness until my fingers found
the much-needed headlamp. “Callie? Hey, girl!” I clicked the small buttons, bringing
it to life, and brightening the interior of the train car.

She’d disappeared.

I was all alone.

My heart plummeted to my stomach. How in the world had she
managed to get the harness unlatched from the leash? Impossible, but obviously
hours left unsupervised had given her time to figure it out.
Damn it.

“Callie!” I scrambled to my feet, forgoing socks and shoes, and
ran to the opening of the train car. I aimed the small light into the darkness,
knowing she could be anywhere, but hoping her escape had been a recent one and
she hadn’t gone too far. “Callie! Here, kitty!”

I climbed down the ladder, skipping rungs. My toes touched
the cool earth, and I stood there unsure where to look first. “Come on, Callie.
Don’t do this to me.”
Please be here, please.

Not knowing quite what to do, I skipped from one upright car
to another, casting light in the open doors and under each box car, but no cat
meowed or stared back at me. Such a little thing, the vast darkness could
easily swallow her up. I might walk right by her and never know it.

I berated myself for sleeping so long, for not paying
attention to her, and not being a better cat owner during an apocalyptic
situation. A harness! What a dumb thing to put on a cat! I should have bought a
pet crate or carrier to keep her safe when not watching her. They had been right
there too, on the shelf of the pet store back at the very beginning! What was I
thinking?
Dumb, dumb, dumb.

She’d been at my side the entire time, and to lose her now...
“Callie!” I couldn’t let my mind go there, especially after everything with
Dylan and ruining my relationship with Cole. I needed my cat. Hadn’t I told her
as long as we were together everything would be okay? Where was she?

The train cars revealed no trace of her, and I attempted meowing,
calling to her in her own language, desperate. I sounded nothing like a kitten—more
like a screeching bat caught in death’s grip—but I did it several more times
anyway, cupping my mouth to extend my calling farther.
Please, please.

“Your impression of a cat is seriously killing me. Please make
it stop.”

I whipped around and stumbled, barely keeping myself from
tumbling down the hillside and ending up in the ravine next to the sunken wreckage.
The unexpected voice in the dark stopped my heart and held me captive all at
once. I couldn’t move, but I was okay with that—I didn’t need or want to.

He stepped around a fallen boxcar, out of the shadows, and
my heart burst to life, beating beyond containment. The moon accentuated his features,
his long wild hair in need of brushing, the smile in his eyes, and the curve of
his lips. “That was the most pathetic sounding cat impersonation I think I’ve
ever heard. I wasn’t sure whether to point and laugh or put you out of your
misery.”

I barely heard a word he said—mumbled, foreign,
unrecognizable. His presence, something I thought I’d never see again, kept me mesmerized,
and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t blink, but the grin on my face couldn’t have
expanded any further.

“Your cat needed a break from watching your comatose body,
so I took her out for a walk.” He held up a thin-coiled rope and I followed its
length to find Callie attached to the opposite end. She rolled around in the dirt,
content, kicking up dust. “I’d have taken the leash, but you tied it to your
backpack like... jeez, not even sure what. A boy scout earning a merit badge
maybe?”

One step.

Then two more.

Soon I was running, flying past broken train cars and
skipping over rubble. My teary eyes focused on him.
He’s here! He’s here,
and he has my cat!
The beam from my headlamp bounced around and he raised a
hand to block it. He held the other out in front of him and his eyes widened. “Tess,
wait a—”

“Cole!” I collided with him, knocking him off balance. He
took a step backward but remained upright and wrapped an arm around my waist to
steady the both of us. My arms wound around his warm neck, clinging to him like
a baby monkey clinging to its mother. I stood on tiptoes so I could hang on to
him even tighter, pressed my face into his shoulder and allowed the past couple
of days’ events to burst from me in a torrent of tears and sobs.

I’m not ever letting go of you. Not ever.

“I... missed... you... too.” He sounded surprised, but I
refused to be petty or picky. He’d come and that was all that mattered. Maybe
his words didn’t provide the comfort and reassurance I longed for, but he held
me—one hand around my waist and the other pressed against my upper back—hugging
me to him and letting me know he
had
missed me, even if he couldn’t voice
it without being an ass.

He allowed me to hang on and cry into his chest, taking
turns patting and rubbing my shoulders and cupping the back of my head. His
lips brushed against my ear and he whispered, “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t answer him. The answer would have to be no and
yes. No, I wasn’t okay at all. Everything was a giant mess and I happened to be
stuck right in the middle without a single clue how to fix any of it. And yes,
I was better than ever—he was here now. No matter what else happened, he was
here and that changed everything.

He smoothed my hair away from my face. “Looks like you’ve
had a rough couple of days.”

That was putting it mildly.

“I have to say, I was hoping we might be able put our
differences aside, but this is quite unexpected.” His arms tightened around me.
“By the way, a guy could get used to this... even if he shouldn’t.”

I ignored the last part. Whatever this was between us—good,
bad, or otherwise—didn’t matter. Right now, I wanted him to keep holding me and
telling me everything would be okay.

“It’s going to be okay, Tess. You’re going to be fine.”

Wow. Did he just say that?
I hugged him more, melding
into him, feeling his heartbeat against my chest and his breath against my
cheek. “You followed me.” I managed the three words, even though numerous
questions begged to be asked.

“Of course.” He thumbed away a few of my tears.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Does it matter?”

No, it really didn’t, so I let it drop. Any explanation he
gave would probably lessen the impact of having him here. He had a way of
ruining moments by telling me what a dumb kid I was or saying something equally
mean. I’d already had that conversation with myself earlier, and didn’t need
him reiterating it.

“Sorry about freaking you out about your cat. I was going to
put her back before you woke up.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here.”

He squeezed me tighter. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“I thought you hated me.”

I pressed the palms of my hands to his back. “I thought I
did too.”

“But now you don’t?”

“Well, maybe a little, but I’ll work on it.”

He kissed the top of my head, his lips lingered for a
moment, and I closed my eyes, listening to his heart thrum against my ear. “I’m
okay with that,” he said.

Not much had changed, not really. The world was still a
mess, and I still had a long ways to go to find out why. But even though there
was nothing safe about living amid the unknown and the dangers coming along
with it, I felt protected wrapped in his arms, and for now that measure of
security would have to do.

Still, I worried. “Do you....” Did I really want to know?
Would it even change my decision to be with him if he said yes? Could I handle
it?

“Do I what?”

Not knowing might be worse, so I asked and braced myself for
the answer. “Do you feel okay?”

His shoulders rose and fell, lifting me along with his
shrug. “I feel great. Why?”

I stepped back, but didn’t release him. My quick scan of him
revealed nothing out of the ordinary. If he had been exposed to the elements as
long as Dylan had, he’d be experiencing the same effects. “You don’t feel sick
to your stomach? How’s your eyesight? Any bloody noses or hair loss?”

“Umm...No, great, and no.” His eyebrows pinched together. “What’s
going on?”

“You feel fine? Are you sure?”

He nodded. “I’m pretty certain. Granola isn’t all that filling,
and I could go for an apple or a slice of bacon right now, but otherwise, I’m
good. Why the twenty questions?”

“I want to make sure you’re fine, that’s all.” I could have
delved into it, told him everything about Dylan, but for some reason, I didn’t
want to. Dylan’s illness might have been a fluke, and as long as I didn’t push
matters, I still had that hope. “How did you get this”—I pointed to the
headlamp—”and the other stuff in my bag without being burned?”

“Burned? You sure are asking a lot of bizarre questions, and
now I’m starting to wonder if
you’re
okay.” He held me at a distance
with his hands on my upper arms. “Physically you look fine but mentally you’re
starting to scare the crap out of me.”

“I’m fine. Here, let me show you.” I maneuvered myself from
his grip and rolled up my sleeve to show him the severe sunburn I’d received
that afternoon. The light from the headlamp illuminated my pale skin.
Pale
skin?
What in the world?

“Okay, I have no idea what’s going on here, but when you
make it back to civilization, you may want to get that mole looked at.” He
pointed to a brown mark near my elbow, something I’d had since birth.

“No, that’s not....” I couldn’t finish my thought. My arm
that couldn’t be touched earlier that day, without bringing tears to my eyes,
no longer hurt. The redness was completely gone, wiped away as though nothing
had happened.

“You okay, Tess?” He tipped my chin, forcing my eyes away
from my arm.

I shook my head several times. “No, I’m not. I think
something is really
really
wrong with me.”

“What are you talking about? You look fine to me.” Cole took
my outstretched arm in his hand and turned it over several times. “I don’t see
anything.”

“That’s just it!”
How is this possible? No freakin’ way!
“I... I don’t understand this. I don’t understand any of this.” I ran my
opposite hand over my skin and splayed my fingers, searching for any hint of
the burn, but finding no signs at all. “This isn’t right.”

“If being okay isn’t right, then I’m struggling to
understand your logic.”

I had ceased to hear him as worries piled on top of one
another and pinpricked my brain.
How am I to trust anything anymore? What is
real and what isn’t?

I touched Cole’s whiskered face, needing to feel him, and
dragged my fingers along his jaw line, hoping it would ease my worry, but it
didn’t. My hand fell to my side, and I shook my head. I didn’t even know if he
was real. Not really.

What is happening to me?

“Tess?”

Am I losing my mind? Am I sick?

“Come on, talk to me.”

I dropped to my knees as realization sank in. I had to be
sick, because nothing else made any sense. I combed a quick hand through my
dark hair, but no strands fell away. That had to be good news, but I ran my
hands through my hair again, this time feeling my scalp for signs of sores. Nothing.

Just because it wasn’t happening now didn’t mean it wouldn’t.

Cole crouched in front of me. “What are you doing?” The
inflections in his voice hinted at my craziness. “You’re filthy, but I think
you’re a few days out before you need to check for bugs and little critters.”

I jumped to my feet, glanced down at my clothing, and then
looked at him. “Shine the light on my pants!”

He cocked a brow and slowly rose, standing in front of me
with his head tilted to the side. “You’re freaking me out a little.”

“Do it! Shine the light on my pants.”

He released his breath, but aimed the headlamp at my jeans. “You’re
the strangest girl I have ever met, and I’m not talking by a little bit either.
If there was a crown for this kind of thing, you’d be wearing it.”

“There! Look!” I grabbed at my pants, tugging the material
tight. A smear of dried blood. “And here, look at this!” I pointed to the blood
splattering on my jacket and smiled. Dylan’s blood. “Do you see it?”

“Jeez, Tess! What did you do to yourself?” He stepped
forward and reached for me, but didn’t quite follow through. His hand hung in
the air. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Don’t you see? This isn’t my blood.” I shouldn’t be
smiling. This wasn’t a smiling type of situation, but a grin curved my lips anyway.
“The boy I told you about, Dylan? The one who stole your backpack? This is his
blood.”

Cole’s hand dropped and he took a half a step backward. “You
didn’t kill him did you?”

I shot him an incredulous look. “Really?” I shook my head,
even though his question didn’t deserve an answer. “I don’t know what’s going
on here. I know you told me he didn’t exist, and then he told me you didn’t. He
said I made you up. He told me I was sick and getting worse. And this—” I
raised my arm and waved it around—”with the whole sunburn thing, I thought I
was going crazy. But his blood is on me.
His
blood!”

“And you’re happy about this?” His face squished together
like he smelled something bad.

“Yes!” I waved my hand around. “But not like you think. I
feel like I’m losing it.”

“You think?”

“Knock it off, please.”

He placed his hands out in front of him, palms forward. “Sorry,
go on.”

I was going to sound insane, I knew it, but started talking
anyway. “You don’t understand. Ever since Dylan showed up, I’ve been
questioning everything—you, him, myself—
everything.
He was really sick,
Cole. He lost his hair, he lost weight, and then he bled to death in front of
me. He told me about planes coming in and killing everyone, and how no one is
coming to help. He said I was sick too.”

“And this makes you smile, why?”

“Because he was real! Don’t you get it? At least he was
real. Everything else sucks big time, especially the part about possibly being
sick too, but at least I have this!” Knowing Dylan had been real was only a
small victory, but it
was
a victory, as bizarre as that seemed. I’d take
what I could.

“Okay, then what about me?” He stepped closer, holding the
headlamp in his hand, aimed upward, highlighting the both of us. “What am I?”

His eyes searched mine, and I couldn’t turn away. After a
few minutes, I answered, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No.”

“I don’t feel real to you?” He grabbed my hand and placed it
on his thumping heart. “And now?”

“You feel very real.”

“But you’re still unsure?”

“I
know
I had a major sunburn on my arm this
afternoon, but now it’s gone. How do I explain that?” My fingers lingered,
enjoying his hand on mine and each breath he took beneath my palm.

He shrugged. “Quick healing or maybe your sunburn wasn’t as
major as you thought?”

“Maybe.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

I crinkled my brow. “What question?”

“What am I? Real or not?”

“I don’t know. Dylan didn’t see or hear you running around
the mall. He said he watched for a long time before deciding to talk to me, and
never saw anyone else, just me.”
Why am I doing this?

“He was a stupid teenage boy, and a sick one at that. What
do you believe?”

I kept my eyes locked on his. “What should I believe?”

He held my gaze for a long time then turned away from me and
whispered, “Would it make a difference if I was real or not?”

“Yes,” I was quick to answer. Of course it would matter. It
would mean the difference between sanity and going out of my mind. “And no,” I
added, leaving me no better off than before we’d got into this discussion. If
he was a figment of my imagination—a damn fine one at that—I didn’t want to
know. Figments of the imagination would only lead to disappointment, and I
couldn’t handle that right now.

“What do you want me to be?” He continued to hold my hand
against his chest and stepped closer.

The back of my hand, still touching him, pressed into my own
chest—the space between us disappeared. “I want you to be what you are,
whatever it is.”

He grinned. “You’re a strange girl, Tess.”

“I know, you’ve already told me.”

He cupped my face, turning it toward him, our mouths only
inches apart. He stared at me and smiled softly.

He’s going to kiss me.
I steeled myself for his lips
on my mine even though I knew it would complicate everything. Somehow, it just
seemed right. To hell with age differences! It was an apocalypse, for heaven’s
sake!

“Tess?”

“Yeah?”

“We should really get going.” His lips brushed my forehead
and he tapped my nose with his finger. “I’ll help you grab your things.” He
patted his leg and gave the rope a small tug, enticing Callie to follow after
him

What the—?
That didn’t just happen, did it? “Are you
serious?” I called after him.

“Yeah.” He smiled at me over his shoulder. “I’m not tired
and you slept like the dead, so I figure we can get ten miles in before the sun
comes up.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What are you talking about?” He scooped Callie into his
arms and scratched between her ears, avoiding looking at me.

“This”—I pointed to him and then back to me. “What was that
about? I thought...” What did I think? That Cole would be any different than he’d
been several days ago? That we could be something more than traveling buddies?
I knew something was there—the whole hand on the chest thing, what was he
thinking by doing that? “You’re screwing with me, aren’t you?”

Seriousness replaced his smile. “If anything, that’s the one
thing I’m trying to avoid.”

Did he say what I thought he said?
My breath caught
in my throat. Oh, my heck! I was right! He did like me. I knew it!

“I told you I’ll help you find your dad, and that’s what I’m
going to do. I’m taking you to him all in one piece”—he waved an arm around—”exactly
as I found you.”

“Exactly as you found me?” I paused as the meaning of his
words settled over me. “Wait, do you think I’m a virgin?”

He stopped petting Callie mid-pet and stared at me. “Aren’t
you?”

“Would it make a difference if I was or wasn’t?” I threw
back at him the same question he’d asked me earlier.

He kept his eyes on me for a long time then shook his head. “Nope.
Not at all.” He cleared his throat. “Now go grab your bag. We need to get
going.”