Any Survivors (2008) (16 page)

‘The nurse put down the receiver and the surgeon said: “Katherine, please wipe my brow. I have developed a sweat. My goodness, it takes some effort before these people see any sense.” I wanted to say: “Please sir, my leg hardly hurts anymore”, but the second assistant made a threatening move as if to say, “shut up or we’ll give you some gas”.

‘“I wonder if we should ring up a second newpaper,” the doctor said to Katherine, “perhaps the
Ostseebote
?” but before this could go anywhere there was another signal – the all-clear. His face turned ash-grey and he murmured, “typical”. He was so angry that he didn't even let the nurse help him remove his coat and gloves. Already with his hat on, he pointed at me and called out to the first assistant: “This man has a dislocation of his second knee joint, probably a torn ligament. You may want to x-ray him. I do not think an operation is necessary; the best option would be to cast it in plaster. If the reporter turns up, just send him away.” Without saying another word he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

‘The second assistant, the one who had previously threatened to anaesthetise me, followed closely behind. The first assistant, who had been the nicest up to now and was wearing the smallest swastika, approached me and asked where it hurt. Then he lifted my leg and stretched it in all directions before instructing the nurse that it was only a sprain. “You’ll need to bandage the knee but do it so that he is still able to move it. You may want to rub in some alcoholic liniment first.” Then he got changed, carefully and methodically, said goodbye and left.

‘I was looking forward to receiving attention from the kind nurse, but it was not to be. “If he really thinks I'm going to go to the locked cabinet and fetch a bandage, seeing as it's three o’clock in the morning, just for a sailor with a sprained knee, he must be joking. We ran out of liniment months ago – I could have used some myself for my sore shoulder. I am off now to see how our head is doing. I’ll try to cheer him up; otherwise he may go and do something stupid which we’ll have to sort out. And then I'm off to bed” – here she yawned – “otherwise I will look like a ghost tomorrow.”

‘I was left alone with the attendants who were giving me back my trousers, saying, “count yourself lucky, you got away lightly”. I then had to limp down the stairs on my own. As you know, it is not far from here and the place was still in chaos following the sirens. I was let in without problems. Anyway, now it's your turn!’

This was a bit of a challenge. Just like with the captain, it was impossible for me to talk about my experience with Christine without giving away too much about myself and the secrets I was keeping. I didn't think it right to lie outright so I had to edit my experiences and shorten the story somewhat:

‘As I was on my way to the sailors’ home I met this wonderful person. She took me back to her place in her love and kindness. As you know, I had no money on me. I stayed all night and overslept so that I was late for duty.’

‘Out of love and kindness,’ he repeated, full of acrimony. ‘But then of course, you’re about twenty years younger than I am.’

‘When I came back here at ten o’clock in the morning,’ I continued, ‘they took me straight to the captain, and I had to explain myself. We had a long chat and he came up with this penalty. And here I am!’

‘A long chat with the captain,’ he asked suspiciously, ‘and what exactly did you talk about?’

‘The
Minna von Barnhelm
,’ I said, innocently.

His friendly face turned puce with rage and he barked at me angrily: ‘Have you forgotten our oath? If any of those in the know dare to give anything away, even in fleeting conversation, then the others have the right to dispose of them. By poison, without warning, if necessary. So be on your guard!’

I was very hurt and said, ‘I made no mention of this ship, Adalbert. You can believe me. You were asking me what the captain spoke of and I was only answering your question.’ Not that I feared that the Student, this good harmless fellow, was really going to secretly poison me, but I did worry a little. I wondered if all those in the know received a small amount of poison, only enough to finish someone off without his or her knowledge. Only yesterday, didn't I discover a mint in my pocket which tasted a little strange when I thought about it? These dark and completely unnecessary thoughts were soon abandoned as my friend rested his sharp chin on his bony hand.

‘Yes, the
Minna von Barnhelm
. You were on the second periscope. There was a large British flag painted on the side of the ship and an English name, I cannot remember which. If the idiot of a signalman hadn't dallied and spent ten minutes reading the dispatch from the command of the flotilla, then we would have known that it was not a British cargo vessel. If an entire ship or even a single passenger had managed to get away that would have been a disaster for the captain. As it stands, no one has the faintest idea how the
Minna von Barnhelm
mysteriously disappeared.’

At least I now knew what had happened. I didn't feel I had to poison the Student for talking about the event; after all, I hadn't taken any oath myself. With the last words of the Student still ringing in the air, the door opened and my previous roommate Raimund Pachthofer entered the room. I don't know why he thought that being an ex-roommate gave him the right to barge in without knocking. He must have just heard the last few snippets and said, ‘The
Minna von Barnhelm
? Hey, that was the ship that disappeared without a trace. Any idea what really happened?’

The private was used to being kicked in the shins for not asking any questions and must have been surprised and not a little puzzled that he was now being snubbed and thrown out of the room for an innocent query.

N
OTE

The previous night I had managed to fall asleep with no problem. Tonight, after all the visits, it was proving difficult to find peace and quiet. I tossed and turned, uncomfortable, and with an agonising feeling as though my head was in a steam heater, my feet in a refrigerator, a piano on my breast and a crystal chandelier under the sheet. Even in a nightmare I showed my newly acquired expensive tastes. Where in my previous life would I have encountered posh items such as a chandelier, piano or fridge? My lips felt so chapped, I was sure I could have lit a match on them if I had felt inclined to practise such tricks.

My breath was rasping and laboured. My nose, up until recently a fairly benevolent organ, trustworthy in carrying out its duty, was equally useless in its two purposes: breathing and smelling. It was reduced to a painful red instrument of hellfire. At last I fell into a semi-conscious state, hovering between sleep and waking. I tortured myself with harmful musings. Last night I fell asleep calmed by the thoughts that my fair and dangerous adversary would not be able to follow me all the way to Berchtesgaden. Tonight the voices were taunting me. Did I really think she would be so easily put off? If she had the task of following me, would she not find her way whether it be through oceans and deserts? She would have no trouble making her way to a peaceful health resort … one that could be reached by train, especially if the Gestapo was footing the bill and easing her passage. It was difficult to foresee what role she would play and how she would disguise herself, but the diversity of the German people offered many options and the Gestapo would have the means to provide anything she required. I would have to prepare to bump into her at every step of the way. There was no escape –
So jagen sie ohn’ ermatten
, they hunt him without tiring, as the poet had put it.
¹

Stop!
I said to my iron bed … it had begun to roll away and was circling around the room.
Not so quick, you are making me dizzy. Please come back to the ground and don't take the corners so quickly!
But the bed showed no mercy.
If you insist on this movement please don't go in circles but move in a straight line.
This was the extent of my technical knowledge. The speed at which the bed was going around corners defied all sense of centrifugal force. The sensation was so unnatural that it could only be a dream
. But please dear bed; refrain from any further tricks such as bucking or trying to throw me off. I'm already feeling very nauseous.
I felt that even in a dream I deserved consideration. The bed obliged and forged straight ahead but it was no longer a bed … it was a compartment in a first-class luxury train that was hurtling through the darkness. A streamliner made of black glass and metal with radio sets in each compartment.

‘
Achtung, Achtung!
’ the speaker toned. ‘All Germans take note, it is now twenty-one hours and fifteen minutes, Germany, stay awake! Think of Germany's magnitude, think of Germany's hardship. Do not fall asleep before the Reichs-Sleep-Chamber official gives permission to do so. The Führer is also still awake. ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG, stay awake!’

My head was hurting and I wasn't sure how I could make myself stay awake. I stared at the emergency brake, the only square item in the compartment. All others were streamlined and so smooth they didn't register. The brake was biting its handle: ‘
Bitte sehen sie mich nicht an
.
Ne regardez moi pas, s’il vous plait
.
Si prego di non veder
’ … ‘Do not look at me’ in three languages. It was a train that used to travel from Vienna via Tarvis, Udine and Ventimiglia to Cannes and the emergency brake was accustomed to communicating in three languages on its journey. ‘Please do not look at me,’ the emergency brake repeated. ‘The collisions I always have to face as a result, such a pain, I'm so nervous. I feel hypnotised by their gaze and lead me to commit suicide’ … The brake kept saying everything in three languages. A man walked down the corridor and opened all the compartments. It was the attendant in his brown uniform. He bore a strong resemblance to my captain. ‘Good evening, sir, madam,’ he called out to each occupant of the compartments. ‘Please refrain from hypnotising the emergency brake.’ I waited until he had disappeared from view, then shouted: ‘How dare you tell me what to do. I am the passenger and you are the attendant whose duty it is to serve me.’ In defiance I kept staring at the emergency brake. It is a technical item and I must fight against it; all such items are my enemies. Then the brake responded with a screeching voice: ‘
Mein Gott, mon dieu, dio mio
, I can no longer bear it,’ and it activated itself. A terrible jolt went through the train and we came to a standstill …

A deep male voice said, ‘Pull back the drapes, nurse, let the patient watch the enemy fighter planes. Now that we are standing still we can start the operation.’

The compartment was full of men in white coats with long grey beards that gently undulated in the breeze as they spoke to each other. ‘It is a hopeless case of
Femiphobia acutis
,’ said the eldest. ‘Sister, do the necessary.’

Christine was with me in the compartment, dressed exactly as I had last seen her in a sleeveless pinafore. Only the bonnet was different. She was now wearing the coquettish cap of the nurse's uniform. She curtsied and said, ‘Heil Hitler! Herr Maat, show me your tongue. Your tongue is white. You must have swallowed pieces of paper. Just a minute, Herr Maat.’ She bent over to retrieve the first-class spittoon which was kept in the corner of the room; her apron was tightening around her like a barrage balloon causing the seams to stretch and threatening to burst. She held the spittoon under my chin. ‘The bits of paper, please sir. The Gestapo will be able to piece it together again …’

***

‘If he is feverishly ranting and raving, we cannot leave him here on his own. This at least we owe the captain. Who knows what he might reveal.’

I opened my eyes, blinking heavily as it was now as light as day in my room. My friends the Student and the Baron were seated next to me on the bed. It still felt as though there was a piano on my breast but it was no longer a grand piano, only a little pianola. I was still finding it difficult to breathe. ‘What is happening to me?’ I asked my friends.

Both answered in unison: ‘Don't call in sick under any circumstances.’

I felt little inclination to do so after all I had discovered about the hospitals there. ‘This must be my reward for being an exemplary soldier,’ I complained. ‘Yesterday I went straight to see the captain even though my feet were ice-cold and still wet. I had to stand to attention for at least ten minutes and that must have finished me off. At home I used to be told off for coming back wet and dirty, and the first thing I always had to do was take off my shoes. If I had been able to hop around a bit or jump from one foot to the other while listening to the captain's lecture, I may not have been hit so hard. I can only say that the captain has only himself to blame if he loses one of his best petty officers as a result. And what about you two? Are you just going to hang around and watch me die?’

‘He is having a go at us so he must be feeling better,’ the Baron said in a friendly manner. ‘Don't get too close, Adalbert. Influenza is very catching. We were just debating whether it would be necessary to cut off your tongue if the harbour commando realised how ill you were and transferred you to the infirmary. We were thinking a few deep cuts might have been sufficient.’ I was feeling sick.

‘Is that the way to treat an ill person,’ the skinny Student said to his corpulent friend. ‘You forget what can happen! Ah … thank goodness, here come our saviours!’

Heavy steps could be heard outside the door and two sailors appeared, carrying an oxygen siphon from the U-boat.

‘How did you manage to smuggle that out?’ I asked, my voice still faint but full of admiration.

‘We told the sentry that it was a devil of a machine and that we had to demonstrate its workings to the officers,’ the Baron said. With that the sentry stepped aside and let them pass. Then he took it off them and, opening the valve, passed the refreshing blast of air to me and said, ‘Take deep breaths and don't forget: every quarter of an hour is worth more than two bottles of champagne. Enjoy!’