Animal Heart (Beast & Beauty) (8 page)

His eyes filled with tears and he felt sickened to the depths of his soul as he looked at her deathly pale complexion, the long bloodied swathe of hair which hung from his arm, and her beautiful features. She had a lovely black eye which was beginning to color up. They made their way back slowly and carefully, winding their way through the trees. He kissed her face and lips over and over, praying for her and begging God to spare her. He never spoke to God, ever, but he did now.

No one had ever aroused such an emotional response in him as she had. He didn't know what it was about her that made him feel the way he did. He couldn't begin to explain it, not even to himself. Every protective instinct he possessed arose wildly inside of him as he so desperately wanted to make her whole again.

He knew she was going to cause a problem in the pack and that others may leave because of her. But he couldn't help that. She was one of them now. If she survived. And she had to survive this. She had to.

Because he now knew one thing.

She was his mate.

She'd been sent to him to fill his empty heart.

* * *

Her head hurt. In fact everything hurt a little, in an achy, hot kind of way. It all came flooding back in a rush. The eagles, the fall, the pain in her ankle and her neck, and then the dark nothing that followed. She was pretty sure she was still alive though. Her fingers stroked the sheet beneath her and she recognised it as her bed in the ranch.

How the hell did I get back here?

She didn't remember anything about that at all. She tried to open her eyes and focus. One eye opened slowly, but the other one wouldn't open at all. It felt swollen and tight. She tried to speak but her mouth was so dry.

“Thirsty...” she finally managed. To her amazement, a straw was pushed inside her mouth and she sucked greedily at the cool fresh water. Aden's face swam into her one-eyed field of vision.

“
You're in dead trouble,” he said with a furious, hard expression on his face.

She gulped. “Is Storm okay?” she asked in a whisper.

“Yes. For heavens sake Maddy! What were you thinking?” he spluttered loudly, running his hand through his hair as he looked at her intensely.

“
But you wouldn't let me ride him,” she muttered indignantly, her cheeks suddenly flaming.

“
I know, for good reason and certainly not alone. The wilderness is a dangerous place, but you know that now, don't you?” He raised his voice even more, still looking so furious with her.

“
Aden, I'm so sorry.” She began to cry. Because she wasn't dead and his horse was safe and he was so angry. She felt guilty putting him to all the trouble she obviously had.

“
Hey, come on. I didn't mean to shout. I'm overjoyed you're still alive. You had me going for a while, you know?” He squeezed her hand tightly, his face softening.

“
I saw eagles. The horse reared and threw me,” she tried to explain.

“
Never mind all that. How's your neck? Move your head.”

She turned her head from side to side with no problem at all. She couldn't comprehend how this could be. She was sure she had done some dreadful damage to it.

“I don't understand…” she said, confused.

“
Let's check the rest of you out. Lift your arms and legs and turn your feet at the ankles,” he requested. She obliged, lifting them a few inches and rotating her feet under the duvet. Oddly, her ankle seemed to be fine too. This was really strange. She leant up on her elbows but a pain surged through her shoulder.

“
Owww, my shoulder really hurts. Jeez, it's burning like hell.”

“
So, your shoulder hurts, does it?” He looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. “I'll tell you another thing, that's a great black eye you've got there my girl, but it should be gone pretty soon.” he added with a grin.

“
Yeah, right... Tell me, how long have I been unconscious?”

“
About four hours.”

“
Is that all?”

“
Yep. Come on, try to get up.”

She took his offered hands and carefully twisted sideways. She sat up slowly.

“So far so good,” she said warily. He pulled her up to her feet and she stood unsupported. She took a few steps, and apart from feeling very achy and her burning hot shoulder, she had to say everything felt fine.

“
I could have sworn I'd broken my neck, honestly. I felt it snap,” she murmured, looking at him in amazement.

“
You did,” he replied.

“
Obviously I didn't, did I?”

“
You did, and your ankle too. Plus you had a massive head wound. You lost quite a lot of blood.”

“
So explain this to me. How can I stand up and walk, like this...” She paced around the room in demonstration. “...If I broke my ankle? And how can I do anything at all if I broke my neck?”

He took her hands and looked into her confused eyes. He brushed a stray tendril of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. This small intimate gesture and the soft touch of his fingers warmed her inside.

“It may be difficult to understand. But in time you will come to see it as my gift to you. I healed you.”

“
You're a healer?” she asked in an incredulous whisper.

“
Not really a healer, as such.” He cast his eyes downwards for a moment.

“
But how? What do you mean?”

“
I did something to help heal your body. As you were about to die. I had no choice.”

“
You're scaring me now. What did you do to me?”

“
It's best I show you. Come here.” He led her to the mirror on the wall in the bathroom. She gasped out loud at the sight of her lovely purple and black bruised eye.

Bruises didn't turn these vivid colors in four hours, did they?

The swelling seemed to be going down already, she could almost open it as wide as the other one.

“
Look at your shoulder, where it hurts.”

She pulled her t-shirt over her shoulder and gaped. Her shoulder had large red marks on it. They looked like bite marks. She looked closely and rubbed her fingers over them hesitantly.

“Don't tell me you bit me, please?” She stared at him standing behind her, in the mirror.

“
It was all I could do, believe me...”

“
All you could do? What? How could biting me help mend a broken neck for crissakes? This is getting really weird. I must be dreaming.”

“
My bite contains a special substance that can heal bone and tissue.”

“
And now it's getting much weirder.”

“
But the downside, if you look at it that way, is that you are now like me.”

“
I'm a healer too?”

“
No, I'm not a healer Maddy. That's only a very small part of what I am. Of what we all are here. We're all the same. A big family. And now you're part of it too, whether you like it or not, I'm afraid.”

“
You know what? You're not making any sense at all. What family are you on about?”

“
Let me put it bluntly. You're a werewolf. We are your pack and I am the alpha wolf.”

“
Oh ha ha... that is so funny.”

“
Not at full moon it isn't. The rest of the time it can be fun.”

“
And you have just turned me into a werewolf, by this bite, have you?” She laughed loudly again, then ran her fingers over the large marks on her shoulder and peered at them in the mirror, examining the shape and size of them closely.

They were not like human tooth marks at all. A sudden chill ran up her spine, which she tried to put aside, dragging all her logic and reason to the fore.

“I'd give you a demonstration, but I think it might scare you. You need to let it sink in for a while. Let me tell you what to expect... you'll have dreams, weird intense animal ones... and hot flashes. You might see hair suddenly appear on parts of your body randomly, and ….”

“
STOP. NO MORE. Aden. Please, the joke is over. It's not funny anymore.”

“
It's no joke. Come with me, I need help in persuading you.” He took her hand and led her out of her room, down the corridor and into the kitchen. Shane was busy chopping up a mountain of potatoes for their dinner.

“
Ah, there you are Maddy. Feeling better now?” he asked her kindly.

“
Yes, a lot better, considering I broke my neck only a few short hours ago,” she blurted out in a rush.

“
That's good love. Want some coffee?” he asked very matter of factly.

“
NO! I mean no thanks. But I do want to know what the hell's going on here.”

He looked at Aden for confirmation.

“Go ahead Shane. She knows.”

“
What's going on, well then... How about this? He bit you to save you from dying. You're one of us now. Welcome to the Carr pack of werewolves.”

“
Is this some kind of sick conspiracy? Are you a weirdo cult or something?” she pushed.

“
I think we're certifiably very weird, but not a cult, no. We're all quite normal most of the time... Just rather animal in between,” Shane guffawed as he continued chopping potatoes.

“
I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling it. Wolf-like, I mean,” she replied sarcastically, still very far from believing any of it.

“
Oh you will, give it a few days and you'll be feeling it very strongly. Thankfully you have a whole week to become used to your new state of being before the moon is full,” Aden added with a knowing look at Shane.

“
I so need to wake up now.” She pinched herself hard and left the kitchen, going back to her room alone.

She was suddenly overcome with exhaustion and a cool shivery feeling had overtaken the heat. Her shoulder was aching like hell. She slumped on the bed and lay on her stomach, shutting her eyes as the deep need for sleep overtook her.  One thought remained firmly in her mind as she drifted away into oblivion. She needed to get away from here. As soon as she'd rested, she was leaving. They were all completely mad. Either that, or she was.

The air was cool and fresh as she hurtled through the trees. She was running so fast. As fast as she'd ever run in her life and it felt so good. She could hear every sound in the forest as clear as a bell. From the soft rustle of a rabbit moving through the bracken as she passed by, to the squawking symphony of Canadian Geese as they flew over the lake miles away. But even stronger than that was her sense of smell. It was overpowering to a degree she couldn't have imagined. She stopped and sniffed at the ground before her, catching the scent of so many creatures it overwhelmed her momentarily, sending her head into a whirling spin. And then she caught sight of it. Her paw. Not a foot or a hand, but a furry paw, on the end of a furry limb. She turned her head and looked down her back at her deep brown coat in horror. She had a tail too.

Jesus... No... Oh no! No... No... No!

She awoke drenched with sweat.

After a quick look around her room, to ascertain where she was, she examined her hand, and finally satisfied that she wasn't really a wolf at all, but merely dreaming, she stood up and stretched, reaching up high with her arms, until her ribs creaked. She felt shaky and unnerved. That dream was obviously brought on by suggestion. Or maybe she'd dreamed everything? Going out on Storm, the fall, breaking her neck?

Ah, yes! That was what it was. She had fallen asleep after the alarm had gone off, and dreamed the whole damn thing. She stroked the skin of her shoulder. There was nothing there. No bite marks, nothing. Not even a hint of an ache in her body anywhere. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. The bathroom and a hot shower beckoned. She padded into the bathroom and turned it on, staring into the mirror while she waited for it to heat up. Her eyes were completely normal, not a trace of bruising anywhere. She smiled at herself for a moment. Then she stripped off, and stood under the steaming jet of water. She washed her body thoroughly with her shower gel which she squirted generously on her bath lily, squeezing out handfuls of foam all over herself.

She suddenly felt so much better. This was normality. Getting clean and smelling good. Feeling the water rushing over her head and body. She scrubbed at her scalp and hair with her nails, smothering it with her favorite coconut shampoo and then loaded on a silky handful of conditioner. She stood for a moment under the water, rinsing it away. Then she felt something strange happen. Her ears started to hurt, pulling at the sides of her head in a weird way. They grew hot and began tingling. She hesitantly lifted her hands to touch them. They seemed to be much longer than usual. Long and pointed and hairy. Her stomach churned and her mind roiled in horror. She turned off the shower and stepped out into the bathroom, dripping all over the floor in her haste to see. Rubbing a large circle into the steam covered mirror, she leant forward and took a wary look. She jumped back in acute shock. Her eyes were glowing with an amber hue, and her ears were black and most definitely very wolf-like as they rose up vertically a good four inches or so through her dripping wet hair. Her heart was pounding like crazy and she felt sick. A surge of bile rose inside her suddenly, and she turned and threw up uncontrollably on the floor before she could get to the toilet. 

Shit, now I'm hallucinating! Perhaps I'm just sick, ill somehow, coming down with something?

She sank to her knees in disgust trying to clean up the mess she had made, grabbing handfuls of toilet tissue to soak up the green tinted vomit. Her eyes darted to her right hand and she gasped in distress and disbelief. Tears stung at her eyes. Thick, curved, claw-like talons protruded from two of her fingers. A patch of coarse dark hair covered the back of it.

She couldn't take any more, no matter what the reason was for all of this horror.

No, no... God help me, please... please...

She started to scream. Loudly and wildly, but it didn't come out as a scream. It was more of a howl. Soon afterwards the bathroom door flung open and Aden stood in the doorway. She desperately tried to cover her nakedness by crouching low and hid her deformed hairy hand beneath her.

“Go away,” she rasped, terrified and confused, in a deep voice that wasn't her own.

“
So it's started, has it?” he stated, very calmly and matter of factly. He stepped inside the bathroom and covered her with a large towel, helping her up to her feet.

“
I'm completely mad. I'm imagining things. Or maybe you've drugged me. Have you?” she growled at him hoarsely. She could hardly get the words out. Her tongue felt strange, as if it was too big for her mouth.

“
Maddy. Accept it. It's real and it's happening. Look, I'm sending Sammy to sit with you. You shouldn't be alone right now and I don't think I should be the one in here with you.” He hugged her close and nuzzled her cheek, but she pushed him away, growling and snarling in disgust at the person responsible for this horrific torment.

What the fuck has he done to me? It's all his fault. Whatever it is. I'll never forgive him for this, never!

He didn't try to console her or attempt to touch her again.

Perhaps he knew better.

He left quickly and quietly and she lay down, gripping her bedclothes tightly in between her fingers for comfort, and began to sob. Harsh howls and snarling sobs, the sound of which she'd never heard leave her lips before. Her mind swam with highly disturbing thoughts of massive teeth and fur and stretching flesh, as she lay upon her bed.

A minute or two later a soft hand tapped her shoulder, breaking the rhythm of her sobbing self indulgence for a second. She turned her head and looked up at Samantha's kind face, smiling down at her. She sat down on the bed at her side, one leg hooked over the other.

“Hey, come on. It's not that bad. In fact I love it. You will too, eventually,” she said reassuringly, with a little giggle and a pat of encouragement on her back.

“
Narrrrrghhh,” she growled, trying to say a snuffling, I don't think so!

“
Look, you won't be able to talk right now. You've got a touch of a snout forming. Just nod or shake your head, okay?”

“
Are you in pain?” She shook her head for no.

“
Is your face hot and stinging?” She nodded.

“
You're quite normal. It'll pass. Think of ice. It works for me. Lots of freezing cold ice.”

Maddy concentrated on thinking about ice, in her mouth and in her hands, and sure enough, her hand started to change back to a human shape. Her nails began sinking back into her finger tips with a squeezing sensation, and the wiry hairs disappearing into her skin, tickling and itching, as if they were being reeled in from the inside. She watched in amazement as everything returned to normal. Human normal. She continued to think cold thoughts and her ears started to burn and tug tightly inwards towards the side of her head. She touched them and breathed a sigh of relief that they had returned to their usual small and dainty shell-like shapes. Icy thoughts occupied her mind on and off, as she felt warmth and tingling starting in various areas of her body. She sat up and listened to Samantha who chatted to her constantly about how she became a werewolf and what had happened to her afterwards.

Maddy was caught in rapt attention as Sammy regaled her experience of being set upon by a gang of three wild girls in Vancouver as she was waiting for a cab home one evening after a night out with her friends. They'd mugged her, stole her purse and phone, and one had bit her, seemingly just for the fun of it. Then she'd been left alone to deal with it all. She'd left her home town straight away, fearful for her friends and family. She took a long time coming to terms with it and lived rough in the mountains all summer, travelling east until she'd been discovered in Heart, literally as she was passing through, stopping for a coffee at Betty's diner. It was fate, she said. Fate had delivered her here, to the Carr pack, and she was so grateful to have found them all and loved them dearly.

She didn't know why, but Maddy believed her tale completely. Why she hadn't believed anything Shane and Aden told her, she couldn't say. It must have been the initial shock, she supposed. Samantha put out her hand and held hers for a moment, giving it a little squeeze of affection.

“Watch me...” She bent her head, furrowed her brow and then looked up. Maddy took in her amber glowing eyes. Exactly the same color as she'd seen in her own face just before she'd been sick.

“
How do you do that, on demand?”

“
I bring her out, my wolf, by thinking of her. I only have to concentrate for a short time and then it all takes on a life of its own. Of course I can stop it, by thinking cold. That's how I change back again. It's slightly different for everyone. You'll come upon your own way of doing this, you'll see. The eyes are always the first to change, and the last to change back. The body transformation can be uncomfortable, but I don't have a problem with that personally. Just go with the flow, I say. Relax, don't fight it. Your body knows what it's doing, so let it do it. It's a bit of a rush actually, makes you feel really horny afterwards!!” She laughed at this revelation and Maddy joined in even though she wasn't really feeling in the mood. Sammy's laugh was infectious.

“
I'm having so much trouble with all of this,” she said honestly, sighing deeply, mostly out of fear of the unknown.

“
Well heck, you wouldn't be sane if you didn't,” she pointed out.

“
But how can it be? Werewolves are flights of fantasy. Fictional beings. That's all.”

“
Look it just is. I don't know why and to be honest I don't care. Have you ever wondered why you were a human before? No, of course not, you just were. Right now you need to prepare for your new life. You can't go back to your old one. You realise that, don't you?”

“
I must admit I haven't thought about that. I've had severe body issues to contend with.”

“
You'll have to stay here. With us. You need secrecy, security, and the protection Aden provides.”

“
But why? If it's easily controllable.”

“
It's not that easy at all Maddy. You haven't embraced it fully yet. We all feel different about life. We're animals at heart and you ought to know that at full moon we all go completely, fucking crazy. And for a day or two beforehand the changes almost force themselves upon us.”

“
What do you mean? In what way do you go crazy?”

“
We want to kill everything. Anything we love or hate and everything in between. Probably each other given the chance. We don't know a thing about doing it. Aden locks us all up in a place just outside town. We have a yard there, with a container for each of us, and timed locks. We go in at sunset in the evening, and come out at dawn the next morning, whatever times they are, I don't know, Aden manages it all for us. You'll never remember what you've done while you're in there. Although it won't be much, because there's nothing to do except to try to escape and that's not possible, thank God!”

“
No... I don't believe it, really? Rip 'em to shreds killer werewolves, like in the movies?” she whispered with unbelieving, widening eyes.

“
Afraid so honey... But apart from that minor inconvenience, life is okay. It's only once a month, for three nights, anyhow. You'll get used to it. But don't worry about that for now. For the next couple of days you've got some thinking to do, while you're still technically on vacation... You should think what you are going to tell your family and friends. There's no need to cut yourself off from them entirely, you can still visit, but you need to base yourself here.”

“
Oh my God... This can't be happening to me. Damn, shit, and fuck!” She hung her head in desperate realisation.

“
Well it is. So pick up the challenge and get on with it. And you have to admit, it's better than dying, which was the only other alternative you had, hmmm? That, or at best being paralysed for life. Aden doesn't turn people for the sake of it. There needs to be a really good reason, Maddy.” She smiled a big white smile and touched her arm comfortingly. “Come on… Let's get Shane to brew us a hot cappuccino with that Gaggia monster of his. It frightens me to be honest, all that hissing steam blasting everywhere. And d'you know what? I fancy a shot of brandy in it today. How does that sound, eh?”

“
It sounds great... and I'm starving as well. Is food allowed between meals here, or is it like the dog pound?” Maddy had finally recovered enough to regain her sense of humor.

“
Ha ha, yeah it's the werewolf jail... Of course you can eat between meals, you daft thing. We have some divine chocolate cookies and tons of other stuff you can munch. Let's go and raid the fridge trainee wolf-girl. And like I said, don't worry. 'Lil old Sammy'll show you the ropes in no time at all.”

Maddy followed Samantha into the kitchen,
thinking deeply and absorbing the facts about her new changed state of being.

She sat for a little while with the two of them, drinking coffee and eating a few leftovers from the fridge as they explained a little more about themselves and the pack. It was all falling into place now. The strange looking wolves she had seen running across the paddock early that first morning were in fact werewolves. They hunted wild animals for food, because they were a pack of wolves and loved to hunt. And the women here were all she-wolves, three of whom were openly for vying for Aden's attention, because he was the alpha. To be an alpha's mate was a privilege, obviously. A privilege worth fighting for. And women could be complete bitches fighting over men. Why he hadn't committed himself to one of them, after all this time, was a mystery to her. The women seemed determined to continue the fight in any case, judging by how her presence, and his interest in her, had riled the three of them up. She was quite worried about this. She'd need to watch her back at all times.