Angel Uncovered (21 page)

'You've got to. The story about you and Ethan will be
in tomorrow's press and it would be best for everyone if
you weren't around. You've done enough damage.'

And before Angel had chance to plead with him again
to change his mind, he'd marched towards the door,
pausing there to say, 'I can't believe what's happened to
our marriage.'

And then he left her. For a few minutes Angel just sat
there, completely shell-shocked, until the full force of her
husband's words hit her and she collapsed sobbing on to
the sofa.

She lost all track of time. She felt as if her heart was being
torn apart. She was losing Cal, the love of her life, and she
couldn't bear it. Angel gradually became aware of a
gentle knocking at the door. She ignored it at first but
then she heard Madison call her name and somehow
found the strength to drag herself over to the door.

'Angel, I've just seen Cal. Are you all right, babe?'
Madison said, looking shocked at the state of her.

'No, I'm not,' she sobbed. 'Cal's going to leave me, and
all because I was so stupid! I kissed Ethan and I shouldn't
have and now I've ruined everything.'

'Oh, babe,' Madison sighed, hugging her. 'You made a
mistake. Cal will come round, I know he will, it's just his
pride won't let him at the moment.'

'He wants me to go home, Madison. It's like he wants
to cut me out of his life.'

'He doesn't, he's just hurt and angry. I know you two
can work this out. Just do as he says for now and then
when the tournament's over you can talk calmly.'

Angel very much doubted it, but she nodded and let
Madison organise the packing. She felt too drained to do
anything herself. Cal returned to the room briefly with
the flight details but he refused to talk to Angel, handing
the documents to Madison instead and asking if she
would see that they all got to the airport safely. And then
he was gone.

The rest of the day and the flight home passed in a blur
for Angel. Madison insisted on her taking some Valium
to get her through the trip home and Angel slept most of
the way while Lucy looked after Honey. There had been
no press at LAX airport but at Gatwick they were out in
force, shouting and jostling and pushing to get their
shots of Angel. As soon as she walked through Arrivals,
pushing Honey in her buggy, she was surrounded.
Flashes were going off right in her face and in Honey's.

'What's going on, Angel?' 'Have you split with Cal
then?' 'Tell us about Ethan Taylor,' came the shouts.

Honey was terrified. She was crying but the paps didn't
seem to give a shit that they were upsetting a child. Angel
struggled past the cameras to lift her daughter from her
pushchair and try and shield her face. And then, thank
God, she saw Ray, the guy who looked after security for
her and Cal. With two of his security guards he was
muscling his way to the front, pushing the photographers
out of the way to clear a path for Angel, Lucy and Honey.

'I heard about what happened,' Ray said in his gruff
Brighton accent. 'And I thought you might appreciate a
bit of help.'

'Thanks,' Angel said gratefully, cradling her daughter
in her arms. She just wanted to get away from here, away
from the cameras flashing in her face, away from the
questions.

'Your mum and dad wanted to come too but I said it
would be better if they met you at home,' Ray said as he
escorted her through the airport.

In the hours that had passed since her argument with
Cal, all Angel had been able to think about was her
husband, but now she suddenly realised that everyone
she knew was going to have an opinion on what had
happened. There was going to be no escape for her.

The next week was the worst of Angel's life. The press
were camped outside her house and she couldn't go anywhere
without being followed. Cal still wouldn't speak to
her. England were knocked out of the tournament, but
instead of returning home like the rest of the team, Cal
texted her to say that he had some things to sort out in
Italy.

Ethan tried to contact her via her agent to check that
she was okay – the American press had also got hold of
the story because he was such a huge star. But Angel
couldn't bring herself to speak to him or anyone for that
matter. She was devastated – convinced that her
marriage was over.

Only her love for Honey got her out of bed every
morning, otherwise she would just have lain there all day.
Her mum and dad were constant visitors, trying to cheer
her up and tell her that everything would be all right. She
had been wrong to think they would take Cal's side. Even
her dad, who could be judgemental, told her that Cal
would see sense in a while. Angel could have done with
Gemma's advice, but she was in Dubai on a shoot and
barely had time to speak to her on the phone. And even
though Angel had been to the doctor's and he had
diagnosed her with post-natal depression she started to
doubt herself, to wonder whether Cal was right, that she
had been making it up. Perhaps, after all, she was just a
really bad person?

She stopped taking her medication and felt herself
sliding once more back into depression. It was strange
but she almost welcomed it, thinking that she deserved to
feel like this. At night when she was on her own she would
be gripped with the darkest, most deeply negative
thoughts, and obsess about how she must be a bad
mother, a worthless person, and now a terrible wife.

By the weekend Angel was feeling more and more
desperate. She arranged for Lucy to take Honey out for
the day, needing to be on her own. As soon as they'd left
she tried phoning Cal again, and for the first time in
nearly a week he answered.

'Thank God!' she exclaimed at the sound of his voice.
'I've been calling you all week.'

'I know,' he replied coldly. 'I didn't phone you back
because I had nothing to say to you.'

'Please, Cal, come home and we can talk. I want to
explain about my illness, I want you to understand.'

'What's there to understand? You had a baby, felt your
life had changed, were a bit dissatisfied, couldn't cope
with the fact I was facing the biggest challenge of my
playing career so you went off and shagged some baseball
player. It's game over, Angel.'

'Cal, I can't believe that you're saying these things,
they're just not true! I have been ill and I did not sleep
with Ethan – I would never be unfaithful.' Angel's eyes
were blurring with tears, she was so wounded by his words.

'Whatever,' he said wearily.

'Please come home,' Angel begged him. 'Please, I love
you, don't leave me.'

'I just don't know anymore, Angel, I really don't,' was
Cal's answer before he hung up.

Angel let her mobile slip from her hand to the floor as
she got up and blindly walked from room to room, saying
to herself again and again, 'It's over, I've lost him.' By the
time she walked into the bathroom she was sobbing
hysterically. She couldn't imagine life without Cal, she
just couldn't. In a daze she opened the bathroom cabinet
and picked up the bottle of strong painkillers Cal kept for
the times when his knee was bothering him. She
unscrewed the lid and stared at the white tablets – at last,
something to take the pain away. She had wrecked her
marriage, she was a terrible mother, both Cal and Honey
would be better off without her . . .

'Angel, can you hear me, love? Please wake up, Angel.'
From a distance she could hear her mum's voice calling
her. Michelle sounded desperately worried. Angel tried
to reply but she was locked in a deep, deep dream. She
couldn't wake up. Her mum called her again. This time
her voice seemed closer. With what felt like an immense
effort, Angel half opened her eyes.

'Angel! Are you okay?'

She gingerly turned her head and tried to speak but
her throat was so sore she could only croak, 'Mum, where
am I? Where's Honey?' Her head was pounding and her
stomach hurt as if she'd been punched.

Her mum gripped her hand tightly and was clearly
trying to fight back tears. 'You're in hospital, love. You
took an overdose. But you're going to be all right, we're
all going to help you get better.'

Angel shook her head and whispered, 'I'm such a
failure, Mum. Everything's gone wrong. Maybe it would
have been better if you hadn't found me.'

'Don't say that!' Her mother looked distraught, her
usually pretty features tense with anxiety.

'Cal thinks I've made up the depression. He doesn't
love me anymore, Mum.' Realisation of what she'd done
was coming back to her, and the physical pain was
nothing to remembering that Cal didn't want her anymore.
The tears streamed down her cheeks.

'That's not true! He loves you and he believes you. He's
at the airport now waiting for a flight home. I'm going to
ring him.' Michelle dialled Cal's number from the
hospital phone by Angel's bed; she spoke briefly to him
and then handed the receiver over, saying that she would
be back in a few minutes.

'Angel, are you all right?' Cal sounded frantic with
worry.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered back.

'Oh, my God, Angel, you've got nothing to be sorry for!
It's me who's sorry, for not believing you. I was so jealous
and stupid and I nearly lost you because of it. Can you
ever forgive me?'

'So you're not going to leave me?' she asked tentatively.

'Angel, I'm on my way back to you and I'm going to do
whatever it takes to help you get better. Nothing else
matters to me. Nothing. I love you.'

'Love you too,' Angel replied, and for the first time in
what seemed like a very long time she felt the beginning
of something like hope.

Six months later – New Year's Eve

'D'you want some more champagne?' Cal asked, sitting
up in bed and reaching for the bottle.

'No!' Angel exclaimed, grabbing his arm, and pulling
him back down beside her. 'I want more of you!'

Cal laughed as he took her in his arms again. 'This is
more knackering than a match!'

'Are you turning me down then?' she demanded,
running her hands over his hard, muscular body.

'Never,' he said huskily, kissing first her neck then
the rest of her body, delicious sweet kisses that melted
her . . .

Finally she and Cal were back to where they had been
before post-natal depression had nearly destroyed Angel
and her marriage. It hadn't been a quick fix – she'd been
having therapy and was still taking medication. Even now
she had times when she felt low, and others when she was
almost crippled with guilt about her daughter and those
early months of her life when Angel felt she hadn't
bonded with her as she should. But those times were
getting fewer, the more she felt like her old self. From the
moment Cal had flown back from Milan to be at her side
he'd taken her illness seriously and never brought up the
Ethan incident again, telling her that he understood it
had been a one off mistake because she had been ill. And
he stopped being so distant with her, telling her that it
had only been the pressure of the World Cup that had
made him so withdrawn and that was over now.

She had also confided in him about Connor's
threesome proposition and his pursuit of her. Connor
had continued to send her gifts even though Angel had
sent everything back. Cal had been absolutely furious to
hear of it and had threatened to confront Connor.
Tempting as that prospect had been, Angel had begged
him not to. And anyway she had been right to think she
only had to wait: the Carters did get their comeuppance
in the press when a lapdancer who had taken them up on
their offer sold her story. It had filled the tabloids for
most of the autumn as so many other women had come
out of the woodwork with further sleazy revelations.
There were even rumours about the wife of another
England player who had been propositioned by the
Carters. Angel didn't think anything of it, though; she
hadn't said anything to the press and Jez promised her
he hadn't. The chances were Gabrielle had pimped for
Connor many times in the past, desperate to hang on to
her husband whatever the cost. The pair of them had got
what they deserved as far as Angel was concerned.

Now, as she lay in Cal's arms, after an afternoon of
making love, she thought she was a very lucky girl
indeed. Cal had whisked her away to Venice for a
romantic weekend – just the two of them, to celebrate
New Year. He'd booked them into the luxurious five-star
Gritti Palace Hotel, where they'd spent her birthday two
years earlier, in a fabulous suite overlooking the Grand
Canal with an amazing view of the city. So far they'd
spent most of the time in bed, but Angel wasn't
complaining . . . It was as if they both wanted to make up
for lost time, and she couldn't get enough of her
gorgeous, sexy husband nor he of her.

'Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?' Cal asked
her.

Suddenly Angel realised she was starving. They'd only
had breakfast and it was now around seven in the
evening.

'We could have room service here or we could go out.
I've booked us a table at a restaurant nearby. It's
supposed to be very good. And we could start off with
Bellinis at Harry's Bar, if you like?'

Angel stretched out in bed, looking round their suite
with its beautiful antique furniture, the cream and gold
silk curtains, the elaborately carved and gilded bed head,
that made her feel like a princess. It was very tempting to
stay in. But then she thought of the effort Cal had gone
to in choosing the restaurant and said, 'We'll go out as
you've booked it,' kissing him and thinking what a sweet
and generous husband she had.

Outside the temperature was only just above freezing
and she was grateful for her full-length black sheepskin
coat and hat.

'You look like a sexy Bond girl. It makes me wonder
what you've got on under that coat,' Cal said cheekily,
putting his arm round her as the two of them strolled
through the narrow streets, crossing over the canals by
elegant stone bridges.

Angel laughed. 'Thermal underwear – I wish!'

Cal kissed her and murmured, 'I have ways of
warming you up.'

'Later,' she told him, kissing him back. 'I'm going to
faint if I don't eat something soon.'

The restaurant was as fantastic as Cal had promised, the
food delicious. Angel had never had to worry about her
weight. She tended to eat what she wanted and work out
to compensate. None of that dressing-free salad, egg
whites and green tea regime for her! She ordered scallops
to start with followed by lobster risotto, and ate the lot.

'I'm stuffed!' she declared at the end of her main
course.

'You've got to have dessert,' Cal told her.

Angel groaned, 'No way, I can't eat anything else!'

'Go on, I'll share one with you.'

'Okay,' she replied. 'But you've got to eat most of it,
and you'd better love me when I'm fat!'

Cal smiled at her. 'I'll always love you and you'll never
be fat.'

'But if I was?' she teased him back.

'I'd make you work out more,' Cal replied, and they
both laughed. She could still remember what it felt like
when he was so angry with her in America. Now all she
wanted to do was to bask in the warmth of his love. They
drank more wine and Angel allowed Cal to choose a
dessert. She didn't pay much attention when the waiter
placed it before her as she had no intention of eating it.
It was some kind of fancy chocolate torte with a white
chocolate rose on top. She pushed the plate towards Cal.

'Go on, you have it, I really can't eat anymore.'

'Aren't you at least going to have the rose? You love
white chocolate,' Cal said.

'Have you turned into one of those weird pervs who
feed up their women so much that they can't move?'
Angel demanded.

'The rose,' Cal insisted.

She reached out and plucked the chocolate flower
from the torte . . . then she froze because nestling inside
the chocolate petals was a dazzling diamond eternity
ring. She picked it up and as she did so the diamonds
sparkled as they caught the light.

'Oh.My.God!' she exclaimed, totally enchanted by the
gift.

'You like it?' Cal asked. 'There's an inscription inside.'
She read, '
Angel, you are my world, I am nothing without
you. Yours forever, Cal x
.'

'It's stunning,' she whispered as he took the ring from
her and slipped it on to her finger.

'I want us to renew our vows, Angel. I want to make up
to you for everything I put you through in the summer.
So will you?'

Angel looked at her husband whose eyes were full of
tears. 'Oh, Cal, yes! Yes!' And she leaned across the table
and kissed him passionately, not caring about the raised
eyebrows of the other diners.

Back home in England they decided to renew their vows
as soon as possible and settled on 31 January. They could
have waited until later in the year but neither of them
wanted to. It had to be as soon as possible. 'I want to put
the bad times behind us,' Cal told her and Angel couldn't
have agreed more. Neither of them wanted a big event –
it was just to be family and very close friends with no
more than thirty guests, in contrast to their wedding day
when they'd had over two hundred.

Angel was so happy. It felt as if she and Cal had been
given a second chance once the dark cloud of her
depression had well and truly lifted. She could get on
with her life. Now, when she woke up in the morning, the
day felt like a gift, full of possibilities. So different from
the way she had felt six months ago.

'You've got mail,' said Cal, wandering into the living
room where Angel was playing with Honey. There were
just three weeks to go until their big day and she was
about to drive to London for her dress fitting so was
enjoying some quality time with her daughter. Cal
handed over the post and Angel casually flicked through
the pile of letters, seeing if anything looked interesting.

Her attention was taken by a hot pink envelope –
probably an invitation to some event or other. She ripped
it open. Inside was a postcard, and written in elaborate
gold writing the words: '
Angel . . . or should I say bitch,
whore, tart? One day, very soon, you are going to pay.
'

'That's nice,' she said sarcastically, showing the card to
Cal. 'I like that they've used my favourite colour, don't
you?'

Cal frowned. He hated it when Angel received
threatening letters, which she had several times in the
past. She was about to tear it up when he stopped her.

'Give it to me. I'll put it in my office, and if you get
anymore we should go to the police.'

'If you like,' she replied. 'It'll just be some jealous
nutter, don't worry about it. I don't.'

And with that she kissed her husband and daughter
goodbye and headed out of the door. The contents of the
letter were already forgotten as she thought of the day
ahead, and wondered how the dress she was having
made for her vows would have turned out. She wanted
something simple and understated in complete contrast
to her full on wedding dress, and just hoped the designer
would have worked her magic.

'What do you think?' Angel asked Gemma, turning
round and studying herself in the mirror of the boutique.
The dress was an exquisitely elegant ivory silk gown, off
the shoulder, and fitted to display Angel's sensational
curves.

'I think it's stunning!' Gemma exclaimed, walking
round her friend and checking out the dress from every
angle.

'You do think Cal will like it, don't you?' Angel asked.

'Definitely. It's going to knock him out. Especially as I
reckon he thinks you're going to wear pink!'

'Ha!' Angel replied. 'Serve him right for thinking I'm
predictable. Do you know what he's going to wear?'

Gemma shook her head. 'And even if I did, I wouldn't
tell you, it would so ruin the surprise.'

Conversation was then restricted as the designer
expertly checked the fit of the dress. Angel stared at her
reflection.
Gemma was right, Cal would like this dress,
wouldn't he?

After the fitting the girls headed for Patisserie Valerie
in the heart of Soho, for a gossip and a hot chocolate.
Angel surveyed the cream on top of hers and frowned.
'Oops, maybe I should have skipped this! That dress is
very clingy, isn't it?'

Gemma rolled her eyes. 'You're so jammy, you never
put on weight.'

'I don't know about that,' Angel answered, scooping
out the cream from the top of her drink with a spoon and
then eating it. 'I'll do extra sit ups to make up for it.' She
looked up at her friend and smiled. 'I'm so excited about
doing our vows again, Gemma, even more excited than I
was for my wedding day.'

She paused and then said reflectively, 'I think it's
because I feel so good now and I was so depressed back
then. But I'm back to my old self, aren't I, Gem?'

Her friend smiled back. 'Yes, you are.' And then her
face fell. 'But I still feel so guilty that I didn't pick up on
your depression. You must promise me that if you ever
feel like that again, you'll tell me? We've never had
secrets from each other before.'

'I know, Gem, and I never want it to happen again
either.'

'And now I have got a secret to tell you!' Gemma said,
her eyes shining.

Angel stared at her, willing her to say the words, and
was thrilled when Gemma went on to say, 'Yes, I'm
pregnant!' Her face looked radiant with happiness,
though she quickly added, 'It's very early days. I don't
want to tell anyone else, not even Jez.'

Angel jumped out of her chair and hugged Gemma.
'I'm so happy for you, Gem! That's the best news ever!'
Then she asked, 'Can I tell Cal? You know that he
wouldn't tell anyone else.'

Gemma nodded and Angel hugged her friend again.

By the time she arrived back home, Cal was busy giving
Honey her tea. Angel took a few seconds to stand in the
doorway and watch the domestic scene playing out in
front of her. Cal was chatting away to Honey, giving
funny names to the food on her plate to encourage her to
eat it. He was such a good dad and Honey was being so
adorable. Angel felt a wave of happiness go through her
then. She was so lucky to have Cal and Honey, so totally
blessed. She raced over to where they were sitting,
showering kisses on both of them.

'Hey, what's all this?' Cal asked, putting his arms
round her waist and pulling her on to his lap. 'I think
Mummy missed us, Honey.'

She grinned and took the chance to throw a broccoli
floret on the floor. Good call, Angel thought, loathing
broccoli herself.

'I did miss you both,' she said, putting her arms round
Cal and kissing him. 'Very much.'

'Good,' he replied, kissing her back. Then he turned to
their daughter and said, 'Okay, Honey, finish up then
we'll watch
In the Night Garden
. After that it's bath, story
and bed. I need to spend some grown-up time with
Mummy.'

Later that night as the couple lay in bed, entwined in
each other's arms after their grown-up time, Angel
murmured, 'I'm so happy, Cal. I can't wait to renew our
vows.'

'Me either,' he agreed, raising her hand to his lips and
kissing it.

'And Gemma told me some fantastic news as well,'
Angel exclaimed. 'She's pregnant!'

'That's great! And maybe,' here Cal paused, 'in a
couple of years, we can think about having another baby?
What do you say? I don't want to put any pressure on you
but I'd love us to have another child. You and Honey are
the best things that have ever happened to me.'