Angel Sister (8 page)

He must have felt her eyes on him because he turned to look at her. She ducked her head, but not before she saw pity mixed with contempt in his eyes. It was a look she’d seen before.

______

On Wednesday, April 6, 1917, President Woodrow Wilson signed the declaration of war and, with the strokes of his pen, altered the lives of Nadine and her classmates. The boys at school the next day seemed to have become older overnight as they talked of going to war. Miss Penman called an assembly in the gymnasium to read to the students the president’s words asking Congress to declare war on Germany.

“‘The world must be made safe for democracy.’” The newspaper fluttered in Miss Penman’s hands, and she stepped behind the podium for support and kept reading. “‘It is a fearful thing to lead this great peaceful people into war, the most terrible of all wars. But the right is more precious than the peace, and we shall fight for the things that we have always carried nearest our hearts. To such a task we can dedicate our lives and our fortunes, everything that we are and everything that we have, with the pride of those who know that the day has come when America is privileged to spend her blood and her might for the principles that gave her birth. God helping her, she can do no other.’”

The students sitting on the wooden stands next to the gymnasium floor were completely silent as she read. No girl adjusted her skirt. No boy scooted his feet against the floor. Even though Nadine had already read the president’s words in the paper her father had brought home, she listened just as raptly as the other students. She felt as though she were standing on the edge of a precipice, and any movement might send her plummeting down into a dark void.

Miss Penman laid down the newspaper and stared out at the students in front of her. She mashed her lips together and seemed to be having difficulty speaking. That somehow was even more frightening than the words propelling them into war that she’d read out of the paper. Miss Penman was always in control and always ready with her cane to be sure her students maintained proper control of themselves while at her school.

Control was what a person should strive for at all times, and now their whole world was spinning out of control because of a three-letter word.
War
. Miss Penman tried to slow the spinning. “Young men, many of you may be called upon to serve in this hour of our country’s need, and when that time comes, I am confident you will respond with courage. However, that time has not yet come.” Miss Penman stared out at them and hit her cane against the floor to emphasize her words. “You must not rush headlong into this battle without proper thought. You who are seniors have only weeks before you will receive your diplomas. Stay the course here, finish your education so that you will be better equipped to serve our great country when you are asked to answer the call.”

Miss Penman stepped out from behind the podium and studied the students a moment before she picked up her cane and pointed it at them. “When that time comes and you step up to the line in service to your country, you will strike a blow for freedom.”

As though she had punched a hole in the bubble that had enclosed them and kept them frozen, the entire student body stood up and cheered. Ramon Adams rushed down off the stands and grabbed the American flag that sat beside the podium and waved it in the air. The cheers grew more raucous, and Miss Penman didn’t even bang her cane on the floor to settle them down.

Some of the boys talked of enlisting at once in spite of Miss Penman’s words, but not Victor. He could have without lying about his age, as some of the younger boys were ready to do in order to serve in this war that would surely end all wars. Victor had turned nineteen in February, but he told Nadine that June would not be too late to join the fight.

In fact June loomed before them and made it seem as if every breath needed to be rushed. There was no longer time to think about their future. There was no longer time to daydream of love. There was no longer time to wait for their fathers to accept them as adults capable of deciding their own futures. If they wanted to have a sure time together, it had to be now.

On the last Sunday of April, Nadine slipped away from the house to meet Victor in the woods behind the church while her father napped. She had never done anything so bold before, and she couldn’t imagine what her father might do if he awoke and found her missing. She looked over her shoulder as she hurried across the pasture field toward the woods. No one was watching her, not even James Robert. He’d gone fishing with a friend. But it didn’t matter that her father wasn’t actually on the porch to catch her sneaking off. Her sure knowledge of his disapproval trailed after her and nipped at her conscience. Even so, she did not stop. She kept moving toward the trees, toward Victor.

He was waiting for her. He took her hand and led her back into the woods. Sunshine streaked down between the budding tree branches to touch them with warmth while over their heads birds sang frantically to their mates. When Nadine leaned back against an oak tree to catch her breath, Victor stepped up close to her and put his hands on her shoulders. Her heart started pounding even harder as she lifted her face toward his in hopes of a kiss.

But he did not drop his mouth down to kiss her. Instead his eyes burned into hers as he said, “I love you, Nadine Reece. I want you to be my wife.”

The words knocked the breath out of her again. She hadn’t expected a proposal. He had told her he loved her several times, but she had yet to say the words back even though they were swelling in her heart. The thought of actually saying them aloud petrified her. She didn’t know why. She had never thought she lacked courage.

After all, hadn’t she watched her mother die and fought death for the life of her little sister? The fact that she had failed did not negate her courage. Didn’t she live every day with her father without totally surrendering her own will and dreams? But now in the face of Victor’s proposal she quaked with fear. No longer would she be able to drift along enjoying Victor’s devotion and hoping that in time her father would accept them as a couple. No longer would she be able to ignore the truth that she might have to confront her father and demand he see her as an adult with the right and ability to shape her own life. He would strike her down. He would squash the idea of her love under his feet. She feared giving him that chance.

She moistened her lips as Victor put one of his hands under her chin to keep her from looking away. “I can’t—”

He put his finger over her lips to stop her words. “Yes, you can. I see your heart in your eyes. I know you love me. Else you would not have dared to come out here to meet me.” He moved his finger to trace her lips. “Still, I do so desire to hear the words come from your beautiful mouth.”

She caught his hand in hers and kissed the tips of his fingers. A wanton move, but it gave her the courage to say, “I do love you, Victor.”

His face exploded with joy and he laughed out loud as he grabbed her in a bear hug that lifted her off the ground. When he sat her back down on her feet, he pulled her close and kissed her as he never had before. No chaste kiss of only lips touching lips. This kiss demanded and received a response from her down to her toes. She pushed him away before she melted completely in his embrace and lost all sight of proper behavior.

He leaned back from her, but did not release her from his arms. She had never seen him looking so happy. Up until that moment, shadows of worry always lurked in his eyes even when he was smiling, but now all those shadows had vanished. “And do you say yes?” he asked. “Will you marry me?”

The word yes was on her lips, but she held it back. “You have to give me time.”

“What if there is no time to give? We have to take the time we have now and not reach for time on another day.” Some of the shadows edged back into his eyes. “You have to say yes. You have to marry me. I can’t go to fight over there if you don’t marry me first.”

“But you haven’t even enlisted yet.” She wasn’t able to voice the yes he so wanted to hear. She had told him she loved him. Why couldn’t that be enough for this one day? Why couldn’t he give her time to gather more courage? To somehow block her father’s sure disapproval from her mind. Another boy perhaps, but not the son of Preston Merritt.

Her father had told her as much after the box supper and the church people had reported to him that Victor had purchased her box of food. “The Merritts think they can buy anything they want. Anything,” he had said. “Never forget, Nadine, the love of money is the root of all evil. I will pray that you are protected and guided away from that evil.”

Nadine blinked her eyes and pushed away thoughts of her father as she stared up at Victor. He—this man—was her future. The man she loved. Nothing her father could ever say would change that. She concentrated on what Victor was saying.

“Three more weeks. Not even a month. Do you realize how quickly three weeks will pass?” Victor tightened his arms around her.

“You wouldn’t have to volunteer. You could wait until you were called up.”

The shadows came out of his eyes and darkened his face. “No. My father already thinks I’m a coward. I will not give him more reason to believe that to be true. I have to sign up. I have to step up as an American.”

She didn’t argue with him. She felt the same. No matter how frightened she was of the idea of war, no matter how terrible the stories of the French and English dead in the trenches in Europe, there was really no choice. Their country was at war. Sacrifices would have to be made, both by the men who went and the women they left behind who loved them.

“You are not a coward.” She reached out and laid her hand on his cheek. “You are the bravest man I know. You dared to love me.”

He put his hand over hers as he stared into her eyes. “How could anyone not love a girl as lovely as you? A girl whose beauty goes all the way through her body and soul. I would wait for you through all eternity, but please don’t make me face going into that eternity without having you for my wife.”

“I will marry you.” The words were easier to say than Nadine had thought, and speaking them seemed to free something in her spirit that had been bound too tightly for too long. The sun’s rays coming down through the trees had a brighter sparkle, and the birds seemed to be singing just for her and Victor. Sinful though it might be, she wanted to dance, while at the same time she felt as if every bone in her body had melted like butter in a dish set in the sun.

“When?” Victor asked in a husky voice.

“Whenever you want.” She surrendered her will completely to his and in doing so was surprised to realize that his will matched her own.

“The day after graduation,” he said.

She felt a great relief with the decision. Whatever storm their decision brought, they would face it together. They didn’t talk about that storm then. By unspoken accord they gave themselves this stolen hour of complete and total happiness. They didn’t speak of their fathers or of the war. They spoke only of each other and the beautiful children they would have and how the poetry of their love would never die.

But they couldn’t dwell in the magical sunlight dappling the woods forever.

They told her father first. He stormed and raged at them. Said they were too young, too different, too blind, too foolish, and on and on. He quoted Scripture, none of which Nadine thought related to her wanting to marry Victor, and he prayed over them. They endured it all without argument and without any change in their resolve. He finally ordered Victor out of the house.

Nadine went with Victor with no assurance of ever being allowed to cross the threshold back into her house again. James Robert ran after her to beg her not to leave. At thirteen he was already half a foot taller than her, with all the sweetness of his mother and little of the sternness of his father. She had been his only mother for five years, so she hugged him and promised to return. And in truth where else could she go? Her father would surely not bar the door on her even after she married Victor.

They went straight from her house to his parents. Victor’s mother wept at the news, but she smiled through her tears and reached for Nadine’s hand. Victor’s father did not utter a word. He simply looked at them the way he might look at an upside-down turtle flailing its legs in the sun before he left the animal to its miserable end.

Now all these years later, the same look was in his eyes as he stared across the aisle of the church directly at Nadine. She wanted to jump up and tell him they hadn’t come to a miserable end. That she loved Victor as much now as she had then and that he was a better husband and father than Preston Merritt had ever hoped to be. But of course she didn’t. She could not stand up to the look in his eyes. Nor could Victor. It went back farther than her. And it wounded Victor even more than her father’s words wounded her.

All she could do was pray that he would stay as silent on this day as he had on the day they had announced their plans to marry. Even as she whispered the words in her mind, she knew the prayer would not be answered as she wanted. He had not come to the Rosey Corner Baptist Church to remain silent.

______

Kate held Lorena’s hand and breathed in and out slowly as her grandfather called for them to pray. She wouldn’t panic. Not yet. They couldn’t take Lorena away from her. That couldn’t be what this meeting was about, even if the church people did keep peering over at Lorena sandwiched between Kate and her mother as though she were some kind of freak at the county fair.

Kate wanted to tell them it wasn’t polite to stare, but she bit her lip and kept quiet. An uneasy feeling was growing inside her that nobody was going to listen to anything she said or pay the least bit of attention to what she wanted or even what little Lorena wanted. But surely they would listen to Mama. She was sitting on the other side of Lorena, ready to be Lorena’s angel mother. If only she hadn’t looked so worried as she helped Kate get Lorena dressed to come.

Kate kept her head bent as Grandfather Reece prayed on and on, but she opened her eyes a slit and peeked through her eyelashes over at Lorena, who was staring first one way, then another with big brown eyes. She was a little doll in the new yellow dress Mama had made for her. Kate had tied a matching yellow ribbon in Lorena’s dark hair that fell in curls down around her shoulders.

Kate softly touched the curls, and Lorena looked around at her and smiled. She didn’t look worried. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she kept looking at Kate with eyes full of trust. She knew Kate would take care of whatever it was. After all, Kate was her angel.

Now Kate wished she could turn into an angel. Just for a few minutes. Just long enough to convince Grandfather Reece that indeed the Lord had intended for her to find Lorena on the church steps. That the Lord had picked the Merritts, and Kate Merritt in particular, to take care of Lorena. Hadn’t she always taken care of Tori and, half the time, Evie too?

They could be four sisters instead of three. Tori was excited about the idea, and even Evie didn’t seem to mind. She hadn’t made the first complaint when Kate let Lorena climb in bed with them when she had a bad dream the night before. She’d just scooted over to make room.

That’s the way it was. They had all made room for Lorena in their hearts. She already belonged, and Kate didn’t see why they had to have a big meeting at the church about it. Lorena being left on the church steps didn’t have a thing to do with who got to decide where she lived. The Lord had already decided that. He had picked Kate as some sort of earth angel-in-training to watch over Lorena, and Kate was ready to do her best to earn her wings.

Or maybe it was actually Lorena who was the angel. Perhaps the Lord had sent Lorena as a special gift to them so they could keep focused on what was most important in life. Mama was singing hymns in the kitchen while she cooked. Daddy hadn’t forgotten to come home for supper all week. Everybody was happier. And Kate was happiest of all as she and Tori took Lorena to meet Aunt Gertie and then to see Graham.

When her grandfather finally said amen, Kate raised her head and peeked over her shoulder to see if Aunt Gertie or Graham had sneaked in while Grandfather Reece was praying, but she didn’t see them. She’d hoped they would be there. To be on her side just in case.

But Graham probably hadn’t even known about the meeting since he hadn’t come to church that morning, and Aunt Gertie, well, Aunt Gertie acted half afraid of Grandfather Reece sometimes. Besides, Uncle Wyatt expected her to stay home and keep him company on Sunday afternoons since he worked every other day of the week. After Sunday dinner, the two of them sat out on their front porch, weather permitting, and anybody wanting to see them had to go there.

Kate didn’t know why she was worried about needing help anyway. Not when the Lord had chosen her to take care of Lorena. But then as Grandfather Reece started talking and her other grandfather kept staring over at her father and mother, Kate’s stomach turned over, and all that kept her from throwing up was the knot in her throat.

“A couple in our church have generously offered to give this waif a good home.” Grandfather Reece paused and almost smiled as he looked out at the people in the church. He didn’t look at Kate’s parents. Instead his eyes settled on the Baxters.

On the other side of Lorena, Mama sat stock-still as she stared up at Grandfather Reece. Kate’s heart began beating too fast, and the knot grew in her throat until she could barely swallow. Why was he looking at the Baxters instead of her parents?

He went on. “Ella and Joseph Baxter are fine people, grounded in their faith, good workers in the church. They will make excellent parents.”

Kate looked at her mother and waited for her to say something. She had to tell Grandfather Reece how wrong he was. Her mother’s cheeks were bright red as she clutched her hands so tightly in her lap that her knuckles were white. If her mother had been looking at Kate the way she was staring at Grandfather Reece, Kate would have been ready to crawl under the pew. But Grandfather Reece ignored Kate’s mother and kept talking about how wonderful Ella and Joseph Baxter were.

Kate didn’t care how wonderful his grandfather thought they were. They may have been the ones he had picked out to take care of Lorena, but they weren’t who the Lord had picked out. And if nobody else was going to stand up and tell Grandfather Reece that, Kate would.

She jumped to her feet. Her mother grabbed her arm to stop her, but Kate shook off her hand. She’d always been told that if the Lord was guiding a person to do something, that person should do it no matter what anybody else said. And the Lord was without a doubt telling her to take care of Lorena.

“That’s not right,” she said. “We’re Lorena’s family now.”

Lorena slid off the pew and wrapped her arms tightly around Kate’s leg. “Angel,” she whispered. She buried her face in Kate’s skirt.

Kate didn’t think anybody heard Lorena’s whisper over the general stir in the church. An audible wave of shock was vibrating off the church walls because she was standing there defying her grandfather. A mere infant in the faith next to him. He was staring at her with thunder in his face, but Kate didn’t care. She stared back without blinking. She was right. He was wrong. She knew it. He knew it, and the Lord knew it. And as soon as she caught her breath again, she was going to tell him as much.

He shifted his eyes from Kate to her mother. “Nadine, can you not control the daughters you have?”

Kate’s mother stood up as though all her bones were hurting and stepped in front of Kate with her back to Grandfather Reece. Kate expected her to be mad that she had dared speak up, but instead Mama’s eyes were full of caring as she put her hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Kate, take Lorena outside. And Victoria. This is not for you to decide.” Her voice was soft and kind. She dropped her other hand to touch Lorena’s head.

“But the Lord has already decided for us,” Kate said. Lorena’s face was pressed so hard against her leg, Kate was afraid the little girl’s nose would be bruised, but she didn’t try to ease her back. Instead Kate stared at her mother and waited for her to demand the people in the church see the truth of what she said.

“The child is right.” A strong voice rang out from the back of the church.

Kate jerked her head around to see Aunt Hattie rising up out of the back pew. Kate hadn’t even known she was there. Aunt Hattie pointed toward Grandfather Reece as she went on. “The good Lord don’t like us messin’ in stuff he’s already decided. That’s shaky ground to be steppin’ out on even if you do feel called of the Lord.”

“The good Lord hasn’t decided anything,” Grandfather Reece thundered. “He certainly hasn’t revealed his truth to this child. Or to you.”

“Is you saying a child can’t hear the truth of the Lord?” Aunt Hattie not only didn’t back down in the face of his wrath, she actually stepped out into the aisle to confront him face-to-face. Like David going to fight Goliath. “What about little Samuel in the Bible? Has you put that story out of your mind, Reverend? Seems the good Lord did some whisperin’ in that little boy’s ears.”

“I don’t need you to be telling me the Bible, woman!” Grandfather Reece shouted and brought his hand down so hard on the pulpit that Kate wouldn’t have been surprised to see the wood splinter and fall apart. “You have no right to even be here.” His face was turning an odd shade of purple.

“How come you to say that? ’Cause you don’t want my black feet defilin’ your holy floor?” Aunt Hattie shook a finger at him. “Let me tell you, it ain’t your floor. The church belongs to the Lord, and he spreads open his arms and welcomes all to step in. And this little child here don’t belong to you either. Or to you, Ella Baxter.” Aunt Hattie turned to point at the woman sitting on the second pew opposite Kate and her family.

“Well, I never,” Ella Baxter said as she grabbed a fan from the hymnbook rack and began furiously waving it in front of her beet red face. She was breathing hard and looked about to faint. Her husband pulled out his handkerchief to dab her forehead while Carla jumped up from the front row, where she always sat whenever Grandfather Reece was in the pulpit, to hurry back to see to her sister as well.

Kate had hope for a moment before Grandfather Merritt stood up from his pew and stepped out in the aisle to block Aunt Hattie’s path to the pulpit.

“That’s more than enough, Hattie,” he said without raising his voice.

She seemed to visibly shrink in the glare of his hard eyes as the righteous power drained out of her. Even so she held her ground and didn’t completely give up the fight. “You knows it’s the truth, Mr. Preston. You knows it. They’s doin’ that child wrong. They’s doin’ your Kate wrong. You don’t want no part of that on your conscience.”

“There are times to speak and times to stay silent. Times when a person gets what he wants and more times when he doesn’t,” he said. “That’s a lesson we all have to learn. A lesson you learned long ago.”

“Some lessons is hard to keep fresh in a body’s mind.” Aunt Hattie ducked her head. Then she seemed to gather herself and looked over at Kate. “Come on, child. Let’s me and you and the little ones go find a spot outside in the shade.”

“Do as she says,” Kate’s mother said.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Kate picked up Lorena, who burrowed her face into Kate’s shoulder. Tori grabbed Kate’s arm and clung almost as tightly as Lorena. Before she turned to go outside, Kate looked past her mother, still standing in front of her, toward the pulpit. Grandfather Reece’s face looked funny, twisted somehow as he yanked at his collar. His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. A bit of saliva dribbled down his chin.

Kate’s eyes widened as she called out, “Grandfather Reece!”

Everybody else had been looking at Kate or Ella Baxter or Grandfather Merritt and Aunt Hattie. Nobody had noticed Grandfather Reece struggling to talk.

“Father!” Kate’s mother cried as she rushed toward him. When he began to sway on his feet, she wrapped her arms around him, but she wouldn’t have kept him from falling if Kate’s father hadn’t grabbed him too. They carefully lowered him down to the floor where she knelt beside him and began frantically undoing his tie.

Carla rose to her feet and screamed before she fell back onto the pew with a heavy thump. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and Ella Baxter began fanning her and patting her cheeks. The woman paused in her ministrations to her sister long enough to glare over at Aunt Hattie and spit out her words. “You caused this.”

Aunt Hattie didn’t pay her the first bit of attention as she pushed past Grandfather Merritt to join Kate’s mother kneeling beside Grandfather Reece. She got down close to his face and spoke in a calm, even tone like she had everything under control and all she had to do was make Grandfather Reece believe it.

“You think on breathing, Reverend. Push that air in and out. In and out. Slow and steady.” Aunt Hattie put her hand on Grandfather Reece’s chest and watched it rise and fall a moment before she peered up at Kate’s father. “You better get somebody to go fetch the doctor, Victor.”

There wasn’t a doctor in Rosey Corner. Aunt Hattie was the closest they had, but when somebody was sick enough, the doctor came out from Edgeville. Kate’s father told Evie to run tell Uncle Wyatt to go for the doctor in his automobile. Tori was sent after water. Nobody asked Kate to help. Her father just pointed at the door and told her to go outside and wait.

This time she didn’t argue. She hugged Lorena closer to her and carried her out of the church. She wanted to climb over the fence and take Lorena off through the woods to some spot where no one would ever find them, but of course, she couldn’t do that. Even if she found Graham and he helped her. They’d still find her, and then they’d say that her trying to hide just proved they were right. The Lord wouldn’t pick somebody to take care of Lorena who would run away. So instead she went over and sat on the stone wall next to the graveyard.

Up the road she heard Uncle Wyatt start up his car and head to town. A few minutes later Evie and Aunt Gertie hurried into the churchyard and up the church steps. Neither of them noticed Kate and Lorena there in the shade.

A bee buzzed past Kate’s head, and out on the road a car passed by. It was very hot, but Kate kept her arms around Lorena, and the little girl didn’t try to wiggle free. The hushed murmur of voices drifted out from the open windows of the church, but Kate couldn’t make out any words. She looked toward the gravestones.

Would the men of the church be digging a new grave there next week for her grandfather? And if they did, would it be her fault for standing up and claiming more knowledge of the Lord than Grandfather Reece? Just thinking about it made Kate quiver inside. How could she have done such a thing?

Lorena raised her sweaty head up off Kate’s chest and looked at her. “Was he dying?” she whispered.

“I don’t know,” Kate said.

“He scared me.”

Kate tightened her arms around Lorena. “I know. It’s scary when somebody gets sick like that.”

“Before that. Before he looked so funny and laid down. He scared me.” She ducked her head down against Kate again.

“It’s all right, sweetie,” Kate said as she stroked Lorena’s hair.

“Do you promise?”