Angel Over My Shoulder (15 page)

She fidgeted for a moment, and then looked at him, curiously. “Did you dream of a time beyond us meeting; at the Jersey Shore?”

His eyes twinkled. “Yes, when I was Angel, I saw so much. I’m pretty sure that I was going to tease you with the things that I saw; make you guess, maybe beg, or kiss me as payment.” Two red spots appeared on his cheeks but he didn’t seem embarrassed. Something else, but she wasn’t sure what.

“What did you see? Did you see that I was going to be so much older then you? Because you could have warned me! I mean…Angel could have warned me.”

He smiled. “I saw that you were older than me, but it had to be that way if I was just being born, right?”

“I guess.” She relented. “But you could have magically leaped in years.”

He laughed.

“So what else did you see?”

Alan turned away from her. “I-I’m not going to tell you.”

Leslie gave him a surprised look. “Well, why in the world not?”

He licked his lips nervously and looked at anything other than her.

“Because you might change it.” Her mouth gaped open.

“Oh…”

He took another deep breath and then rushed in. “If I don’t tell you, then you can’t force it to change and we will both have to let fate run its course.”

Leslie didn’t move for a long time; then she sighed. “I understand, I guess.” She gave him a pointed look. “But, you don’t have to change the events of the future. You just have to change the people.”

Alan stared at her with a steady unwavering gaze. “I suppose the question then is do you still love me.” But he wasn’t asking her. The statement just hung there in the air.

Leslie looked away nervously. She couldn’t get over the fact that this eighteen year old boy that she’d never before met was putting her on the spot. “It’s a little complicated.” He smiled, but remained silent. “Answer me this. In the future…the future you see, am I happy?”

He nodded. “Very.”

Her eyes watered despite the fact that she was sick to death of her tears today. “I’ll be thirty nine years old in a few weeks…almost forty. You’re eighteen. Doesn’t this sound remotely crazy to you?!”

Alan’s hand reached up to lightly graze hers. “You waited this long for me, and now I’m here. I want you just as much as I wanted you in your dreams. And I think you know more than anyone else that I’m not just eighteen years old. In my head, I have experienced things that can’t be understood by anyone other than us. The rest of the world will see a soon to be nineteen year old and a soon to be thirty-nine year old…even though you look barely thirty to me…still; I guess they will see that. But I was hoping that you and I would see something totally different.”

The ringing of her cell phone caused her to jump. “That’s my phone!” She stepped down from the barstool and hurried to the living room where she had left her purse sitting on the couch.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Baby.” Came James tired voice. She looked up guiltily. Alan was still in the kitchen but she knew that he could hear every word.

“Oh hey.”

“Well, I got back to the store. It’s as bad as we thought. You are lucky you weren’t here, honey, because I would have made you blush. I went the hell off!” James chuckled and she tried to think of something to say.

“Oh, wow. Well, I’m happy you’re getting everything straight.”

“Yeah, but it’s going to be awhile, Hon. Are you okay? Is your throat sore? You’re talking a little soft?”

“Oh…Well, I’ve been out and about, not home yet. Can I call you back later?”

“Sure. I’ll just call you in the morning. Love you.”

“Ok. I love you too.” He paused and then the phone clicked and went dead.

Shit, shit, shit!

She went back to the kitchen and Alan had finished another sandwich half. He didn’t look at her as he wrapped the last half in plastic. “Is he your boyfriend?” He asked almost too casually.

“He’s ten years older than me. I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend.”

“Your lover?”

Hesitating, she wished that she had just said yes to the first question. “Yes. He is.” She clasped her hands together uncomfortably. “Look, it’s getting late, I better get home.”

His brow went up. “Leslie, I don’t want you to go. I mean, we have so much to talk about. Can’t you stay? My mother won’t care-”

“No, no, I can’t stay here. That wouldn’t be right.”

“Believe me; my mother is very cool about this.” He came around the bar and stopped before reaching out to touch her, though Leslie could tell that he wanted too. “And she doesn’t know…you know, about us being lovers in the dreams.”

“Yeah, she does know. Don’t be mad at her, but she found your drawings…the ones in your closet.”

His mouth parted and a gust of frustrated air gushed from his mouth.

“But, you know, I need time to absorb all of this-”

“Connecticut is a long drive from here Leslie.” He looked worried. “You already blacked out once and it’s late.” Seeing the look of concern on his face caused her heart to wrench in her chest. Without thought, she reached out and placed her hands on his cheek.

“We can talk tomorrow. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“You will?” He whispered, his eyes never leaving hers.

“As soon as I wake up.”

He sighed and nodded once. Leslie reached into her purse for a business card. It had her cell number printed on it along with the phone and fax numbers of the Connecticut store. Alan went into the family room for a sheet of notebook paper and he neatly printed his cell and home numbers.

After exchanging numbers, the two continued looking at each other, reluctant to separate. Finally, Leslie moved to the door and Alan followed close behind.

“Can…I?” He held out his arms, a bit unsure.

She nodded, and nervously slipped into his grasp. Her body began to quiver, at first just very lightly. Then his arms tightened around her and she was full out shaking.

“It’s okay.” He murmured. He was shivering too.

“Is this the moment that we’ve been waiting for all of our lives?” Her eyes were tightly squeezed closed and she almost felt as if she could fold herself into his arms and disappear.

“I think so.”

Leslie swallowed and pulled out of his grasp. She hurried out of the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She spoke, without looking back at him. She got into the truck quickly and pulled out of the drive-way. When she looked at the house through her rearview mirror, she could see Alan standing in the open doorway watching her leave.

Her stomach was flipping and flopping as she silently drove home. It was not a long drive to her home and as her mind replayed every second of her day she wished that the drive had been longer. Too soon, she was back in the home that she had shared with James and more than anything, she did not want to be reminded of this man that she had loved for the last year. She collapsed onto her couch, still clutching her bag over her shoulder and keys in her hand. She stared into space.

Alan. Alan Zeigler. Her Angel was real! He remembered her! He had new memories of their future! Leslie jumped to her feet and began pacing. He’s eighteen years old. She stopped pacing. She’d been waiting for him for all of these years and here he was and now she didn’t know what to do.

She closed her eyes. “Liar.” She said firmly; because she hadn’t been waiting for him. She had just used his memory as an excuse not to live her life. She had been afraid. And now she had to face it.

Purposefully, Leslie moved to her neat kitchen. She and James were both bakers so their kitchen was state of the art, despite the fact that it was small. She quickly gathered the items that she would need from her pantry. And at half past ten, Leslie began making a birthday cake.

Late in the night, when it was baked, cooled and then the icing had been applied, she stepped back and stared at it. It was square and the fondant draped over it, appearing to cascade down its sides. It was decorated simply with edible pearls and stripes and squiggles. In large white writing against the lavender background was written: I LOVE YOU.

She watched her creation for a while longer before looking blankly into the distance. “It’s been so long since I’ve talked to you like this. I’ve always been able to say what’s in my heart when I make you a birthday cake. And because I cheated you out of three years worth of cakes I want to try to make it up to you, and just say what I’m feeling.

“I feel so sorry that for a while I stopped believing, and I forgot us. In my heart I never did, but in my actions I tried to pretend that I had. I never considered how letting you go would affect you. We are two sides of the same coin. You are ingrained in my life, as I am ingrained in yours. You have seen my dreams, you’ve seen my pain, and you have been the cause of my joy.

“I love you. I love you not because I was a lonely little girl that had no one else; no one except the most exciting friend to stand beside me during the toughest times of my life. I love you, not because you are one of my first memories. I love you because with you I am myself. When I am with others, I am a liar. I don’t have to lie for you.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped it away.

“You know me in ways that no one else ever could. I think it’s the same for you and that I can see a side of you that you’ve never let anyone else see; not because you don’t want to, but because they just wouldn’t understand.” She stood up after staring at the cake for another few minutes. She wrapped it carefully. “Tomorrow. Tomorrow we will eat this cake together. I’m so tired. I’m mentally exhausted and I need to get some sleep. I love you Alan. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.”

~***~

The first day of the rest of Leslie’s life began at 7 am; after only about four hours sleep. Her cell phone rang and despite the deep sleep, her eyes popped open and she jumped up and hurried to her purse to locate it.

“Hello?!” She spoke anxiously.

“I dreamt of you.” There was awe in Alan’s voice. Leslie stumbled to the couch where she absently sat down. “You made me a cake; a birthday cake…and you told me that you loved me. Did you mean it?”

She nodded silently before remembering to speak. “I-yes. I do. I love you. I never stopped.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Yes.”

The phone went dead in her hand. She quickly stripped out of her night clothes and jumped into the shower. She was afraid, she was anxious, and she was excited. She wanted to see him. She dressed in a black smock and she tied her thick hair back, and then looked at herself in the mirror. She tugged lightly at the skin of her jaw line, testing its firmness. Next, she cupped her breasts and then she traced the scar on her lip and the other on her brow. She tipped away from the mirror and quickly made up her bed, and then headed to the kitchen where she put coffee on to brew. The doorbell rang and she jumped a foot into the air.

She ran to the door and opened it. He stood there wearing jeans, a t-shirt and Converse. His golden brown curls were long and unruly and slightly damp from his morning shower. His face looked tense—at least until he saw her, and then he smiled.

She took one step forward and he quickly closed the space between them and rushed forward, pulling her into his arms. Their lips crashed together and Alan groaned softly. He kicked the door shut behind him and Leslie clutched at him frantically. She wouldn’t allow his lips to move from hers, not even to take a snatch of breath. She breathed him in and kissed him wildly.

He quickly scooped her up and walked her back into the living room. She could feel his body tight and hard. She could even feel his heart slamming into his chest! His hands slid over her body, cupping her breast, and squeezing gently. His breath caught in his throat and he groaned again.

“Leslie….”

Oh god, it was as her Angel used to moan her name! So many years ago, when no other man could make her pussy clench and shudder just from the sound of the air vibrating across his vocal chords.

Her fingers buried themselves into his curls. She rubbed her pelvis against his hardness, pushing against his pants. Her fingers dropped and traced him seductively and she felt his back arch as if he’d been electrically shocked! He was thick and long, just as she remembered and she wanted to be holding him in her hands!

His hands moved beneath her dress and up her torso. When his hands trailed her satiny skin, she started trembling as she had the night before. It was so quick how the passion slammed into her! She could barely stand. Alan lifted her and backed her to the couch, sensing that neither of them could do much more while standing. She held him tightly, lips clamped to his.

When she was on the couch, Leslie could not undress quickly enough. She pulled her dress over her head and tore her panties down her legs. Angel was frantically kicking off his shoes and undoing his pants. He stopped to help her yank her panties off and for a moment he couldn’t move as he looked at her nude body. Then he pulled his remaining clothes from his own body, dropping them to the floor with no thought.

His thick, hard cock strained and bobbed as he pulled off his shirt and Leslie reached out and clutched him firmly in her fist. She remembered it! Even though it had been dreams; those dreams had been as real as it was to her now! He collapsed on her trembling, kissing her neck and rolling his hips against her thigh.