Angel Mine (13 page)

“I may be slightly drunk—”

“Slightly?”

“Okay, a lot drunk, but I am not stupid. I am not negotiating anything while I’m in this state.”

“Then let’s go back to my original question—why are you in this state?”

“Because life’s a bitch.”

“That ranks up there pretty close to the ‘time not standing still’ line. You’re going to have to do better than that.”

“Not tonight.” He struggled to his feet. “I’m going home.”

He wobbled, then sank back down. “In a minute.”

“Have some more coffee. When you’re a little steadier, I’ll drive you.”

He shook his head. “Don’t want you to. You’ll just keep pestering me for answers.”

“True, but it’s a long way home and I don’t think you’re in any shape to walk it.”

“Give me a few minutes. I’ll be sober enough to drive myself.”

“I don’t think so. Not anytime tonight, anyway.”

He frowned. “You going to stop me?”

“Yep.”

“How?”

She dangled his keys in front of him, then in a provocative gesture of defiance slipped them in the front of her blouse. The metal was cold against her breasts, but she figured they were safe enough there. Even in his inebriated state Todd would think long and hard before venturing after them. Unfortunate, she thought with a twinge of real regret, but true.

To her surprise, he peered at her with a suddenly fascinated expression. “Do you really think that would stop me? Seems to me like you just upped the ante.”

The amusement in his voice made her a little less certain. “You wouldn’t dare.”

He beckoned to her. “Let’s go outside and see.”

A shiver of anticipation danced down her spine. “I don’t think so.”

“We have to go out eventually if you’re going to take me home,” he pointed out.

“And then what? You’re going to pounce on me, wrestle me to the ground and steal back your keys?”

“Maybe.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

A grin spread across his face. “Would you really?”

That shiver turned into a blast of heat. There had been a time when teasing like this would have led directly to bed. Sometimes, they hadn’t even made it to a bed. They’d tumbled onto the sofa or the floor, or—on one memorable occasion—onto a blanket on the sand.

“Todd,” she began in a choked voice, prepared to warn him off, to remind him that this wasn’t the time or the place or the circumstances.

“Yes, Heather,” he said so soberly she had to wonder if the coffee had truly kicked in with a vengeance or if he was just displaying that masterful acting skill of his.

“Don’t mess with my head,” she said quietly.

He seemed startled by the request with its edge of desperation. “Is that what I’m doing?”

She nodded. “You’re sending out so many mixed signals it could cause a train wreck. You’ve told me a thousand and one times we can’t go back to the way things were. I believe you mean it. I can even accept it, but not if you’re going to say things like that or look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“As if you’d like to strip me of my clothes right here and now.”

“Now, there’s an image designed to bring me to my senses,” he said wryly.

“You started it,” she reminded him, then regarded him intently. “Todd, there is going to be no stripping.”

“If you say so,” he said agreeably.

Perplexed by his attitude, she asked, “Are you saying that you want to get me out of my clothes?”

“I’m a healthy male. You’re a sexy female. Of course I want to. That doesn’t mean I can’t control my hormones. Been showing admirable restraint ever since you hit town, haven’t I?”

Now, there was news. He had definitely been very good at hiding any evidence that he wanted her. “Good,” she told him approvingly, though she didn’t think it was good at all. Her body was all but vibrating with need. Every nerve ending was alive. If he had so much as skimmed a finger across her knuckles, she would probably have thrown herself across the table and straight into his arms.

Because she was so blasted ready for anything, she made herself look straight into his eyes. “That settles that, then. We’ll leave here. You will make no attempt to steal back your car keys. I will drive you home and we’ll say good-night politely in the parking lot. Agreed?”

He laughed. “Since when did you turn into such a planner? I thought you were the spontaneous, unpredictable one.”

“Usually I pride myself on it,” she said. “But when you’re around that seems to buy me nothing but trouble. I’ve decided to reform.”

His gaze locked with hers. “Bet you can’t.”

“Of course I can,” she replied indignantly. “I can do anything I set my mind to.”

“We’ll see,” he said.

The challenging tone set her teeth on edge. He stood up more steadily this time and held out his hand. She ignored it and stood up, too, maintaining a careful distance between them. She wasn’t allowing him within an inch of any part of her anatomy. Too risky. She might have reformed—very recently—but she was no saint. And Todd’s touch right now, no matter how innocent, would be like dousing a fire with gasoline.

Outside, he dutifully followed her to her rental car, climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up. So far, so good, she thought.

He continued to behave himself all the way to his small apartment complex, but when she pulled up beside the building and would have left the engine running, he reached over and turned off the ignition.

“Todd,” she warned, swallowing hard as he leaned in her direction.

“Yes, Heather.”

“We agreed…”

He shook his head. “I didn’t agree to anything. Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll just get my keys back.”

Her breath caught in her throat. His fingers brushed the curve of her breast before she could bat his hand away. Her nipple instantly tightened in response.

“I’ll get them,” she said, her voice uneven.

His gaze met hers. “Let me,” he said quietly.

She thought she shook her head, but he must not have seen it, or else he simply chose to ignore it. The pad of his thumb grazed her skin. If she thought for a single second this was actually about the blasted car keys, he quickly disabused her of that notion. With a frown of concentration knitting his brow, he traced the curve of her breast at the opening of her blouse, then undid the top button to give him even easier access. Her breath snagged, cutting off the protest that had formed in her mind, but never made it past her lips.

The front clasp on her bra came undone with no effort at all and the keys spilled into her lap. Todd ignored them as his gaze feasted on the sight of her bared breasts, which were responding as if he’d been caressing them. One touch, one faint whisper of a touch, and she knew she’d come completely undone.

“Todd,” she murmured, part command, but mostly plea.

His mouth—moist, hot, wildly clever—surrounded one aching peak, sending shock waves ricocheting through her. Her back arched and he deepened the suckling until delicious spasms of pleasure made her wonder why she’d ever protested against anything so wonderful.

“You are—” he moved to the other breast, his tongue circled the nipple until it was swollen and sensitive “—incredible.”

“Sweet heaven,” she whispered on another breathless gasp.

Then, just when she was ready and willing to go along with anything he asked, he backed away. He hooked her bra, then closed her blouse, each movement jerky but deliberate as if he was struggling with himself. His expression had turned stoic.

“Todd—” she began.

“Go home, Heather,” he said, his voice harsh. The longing in his eyes took the edge off, but there was no mistaking his determination.

Shaken, she simply nodded, then clutched the steering wheel tightly while he nabbed those damn keys and exited the car. He stuck his head back in the window as she fumbled to restart the engine.

“You’re okay to drive?”

The question, given the reason she was behind the wheel in the first place, might have been funny, if she wasn’t feeling so thoroughly unsettled.

“I’ll manage,” she told him. “How will you get into town in the morning to pick up your car?”

“I’ll hitch a ride in with Rachel.”

Heather nodded, then shifted into gear. He backed off as she hit the accelerator, lurched forward, then hit the brakes.
Calm down,
she silently instructed herself.

The next time she stepped on the accelerator, she moved smoothly out onto the street. She pulled off what she considered a jaunty wave in the direction of the man who still stood watching her.

Though she was satisfied that she had managed the departure without any further evidence of her inner turmoil, she had a hunch it was going to be a long, long time before she could follow her own advice and truly calm down. Tonight’s test of wills had sparked desires she thought might take a lifetime to quench.

13

W
anting Heather was settling into Todd’s routine as regularly as his morning cup of coffee or his 10:00 a.m. meeting with Megan. He woke up in a state of arousal, directly attributable to the dreams he’d been having about her, dreams that resurrected the first days of their wildly uninhibited infatuation. He detoured past Henrietta’s just to catch a glimpse of her. He explained a hundred times a day—to himself and to the ever-curious Megan—that he was no longer the least bit interested in Heather, that this was some temporary aberration caused by his lack of a love life.

He grumbled as much to Jake, when he saw him a few days after that fateful encounter with Heather. “Is it any wonder Heather looks so blasted good to me? Oh, well, when she goes away…”

Jake regarded him unsympathetically. “She’s not going anywhere, Todd, not until you resolve this custody issue. Frankly, I’ll be just as relieved when you do, because Megan’s fretting and pestering me for answers I don’t have or can’t give. I don’t want her worrying. It’s—”

“Not good for her or the baby,” Todd interrupted, automatically completing the thought with the refrain he’d heard at least a million times. Leaning back in his chair, he regarded Jake glumly. “How do you resolve something like that with a woman who won’t listen to reason?”

“Get a lawyer and haggle it out in court,” Jake suggested.

Todd knew that was the logical thing to do, but his distrust of lawyers was deep-rooted. They’d circled like vultures years ago. Putting a price tag on tragedy had just added to the strain his parents were already facing.

“No,” he said vehemently. “It will just get more complicated.”

“How?” Jake asked. “How could it possibly get any more complicated than it already is? Look, I’m in no position to advise you, except to tell you that getting your own lawyer would be the smart thing to do. You need somebody objective in your corner. I can’t begin to understand where you’re coming from, probably couldn’t even if it were ethical for you to explain it to me. Looks to me as if you’ve just been handed one of God’s greatest gifts, but then again, I’ve always wanted kids.”

“No kidding,” Todd said dryly. “You mean you’re excited about this baby Megan is carrying?”

“Wiseass,” Jake muttered.

Todd didn’t let up. “Wasn’t that you I saw carting an armload of baby books home from the library the other day?”

Jake frowned. “It’s important to be prepared.”

“You’re not just going to be prepared. You’re going to be ready for a degree in pediatrics.”

Unperturbed, Jake merely said, “We’re getting away from the point here.”

“Which is?”

“Angel. How can you look at that little girl and not want to be a part of her life?”

Todd sighed. Jake was right about one thing. When he thought of kids in the abstract, it was easy enough to say he wanted no part of them, easy enough to give in to the raw fear that just being in the same room with a small child instilled in him. But when he put a face to it, a sweet little face smeared with chocolate ice cream or orange Popsicle, it was a whole lot harder to do.

He picked up a proposal for the new cooking show he’d been hammering out with Peggy for the past couple of weeks. She’d come up with some intriguing ideas he’d promised to consider. “I’ve got work to do,” he said, hoping his brusque tone would send Jake away.

Of course, the man hadn’t won over Megan without possessing a healthy trait of persistence. He didn’t budge. He just sat there and waited until Todd finally glanced up again and met his gaze.

“You’re not the kind of man who can turn his back on his own daughter,” Jake said quietly. “If you do, you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”

He didn’t wait for Todd’s response to that. He left the office with the observation still hanging in the air. Todd muttered a harsh expletive he rarely used, then tried to force his attention back to the proposal in front of him. The words swam on the page.

“Damn it all to hell,” he muttered, tossing the proposal aside and grabbing his jacket on his way out of the office. He had to put a stop to this. He’d never allowed any problem to fester, never allowed anything to interfere with his work.

Until now.

He wasn’t certain exactly where he was headed until he found himself pounding on the door of the apartment above the Starlight Diner. He made quite a commotion, but he got no response for his efforts. He finally sank down on the top step and tried to decide what to do next.

A moment later, Sissy crept up the steps and sat down hesitantly beside him, not breathing a word.

“Hi,” Todd said eventually.

“Hi.” She regarded him shyly. “I heard you knocking.”

“I imagine the entire block heard me knocking.” In fact, he’d been half-surprised that Henrietta hadn’t charged out and told him to cut out the racket.

“Heather’s not home,” Sissy said.

“So I gathered.”

“She’s probably in the park with Angel,” she told him helpfully. “They go every morning.”

That was news to him. It sounded an awful lot like a routine, which must be something new for Heather. She’d always done her level best to avoid anything at all that smacked of sameness. It was just another sign that she’d changed.

“Sometimes I go with them,” Sissy added.

“But not today,” he noted. “How come?”

“I gotta see my shrink,” she told him matter-of-factly. “Henrietta’s gonna take me in a little while.”

Todd knew all about the psychologist who was helping Sissy to deal with the trauma of her parents’ deaths. He’d never put much stock in the idea of talking things over with a total stranger, but in Sissy’s case he could see why it would be important. She must have all sorts of conflicting emotions churning inside her that would be too much for a ten-year-old to sort out alone.

“Is the shrink helping?” he asked, since she seemed comfortable enough mentioning the sessions. He knew that Henrietta thought it was important that Sissy not be made to feel that there was anything wrong with seeing a psychologist.

She nodded. “It’s easier to talk to him than it is to somebody around here. He just listens to me, you know? He didn’t know my mom or my dad. Henrietta’s been real good to me, but she hated my dad for what he did to my mom, so I can’t talk to her about loving my dad. She gets real quiet and sad. And my grandmother blames my mom for everything that happened. She says it was her fault my dad went crazy.” She gave Todd a plaintive look. “How could it be her fault that he shot her?”

“It wasn’t,” Todd said, as sure of that as he was of anything. Domestic violence was never that simple.

Sissy nodded. “That’s what the shrink says, too.”

Todd began to see why Jake wanted him to have an unbiased third party intercede in his case. Maybe it would give him some comfort to have an outsider tell him that what he was feeling wasn’t just selfishness. Maybe what he needed wasn’t a lawyer, but a shrink. Keeping silent about the past had gotten him nothing but criticism from everyone he knew, but he hadn’t wanted to air his secret.

But just the thought of confiding in anyone, even a stranger, made him feel sick and ashamed, just the way he had years ago, just the way he did every time his father reminded him what a no-good, lousy son he was.

So he would work out this problem, just as he handled everything else in his life, by tightly controlling the circumstances in a way that precluded any messy emotions. That brought him straight back to Heather, who churned up a whole bundle of messy emotions just by existing.

He glanced up and spotted the woman in question strolling down the street in her trademark flowing skirt, strappy shoes, gauzy blouse and bangle bracelets. Her hair was a riot of flyaway curls that he instinctively wanted to untangle and tidy up, just like their disorderly relationship. In this town that prided itself on down-to-earth people and a no-nonsense life-style, she was like a rare species of orchid.

“Isn’t she the most beautiful lady you ever saw?” Sissy asked in a faintly awestruck tone. “I hope I’ll be that pretty someday.”

“You are going to be gorgeous,” Todd assured her.

“Do you think I could be an actress?” she asked, regarding him hopefully. “Like Heather?”

“I think you can be anything you want to be. Why do you want to be an actress?”

“Because then you can be somebody else, at least for a little while,” Sissy said in a tone that came very close to breaking his heart.

Impulsively, Todd gave the girl a hug. “Don’t be so anxious to be somebody else, darlin’. I think you’re pretty special just being you.”

She gave him a shy smile, then dashed off to meet Heather. He couldn’t hear what she said, but Heather’s gaze suddenly shot in his direction. So did Angel’s. As had become her habit, Angel broke free of her mother’s grip and ran toward him, oblivious to everything else.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. One instant she was calling out his name with innocent glee and the next there was a squeal of tires and a thump, then a terrible, terrible silence.

For an instant Todd couldn’t move, couldn’t think. He was plunged back into the past. Not again, he pleaded with God. Not again!

Then, heart pounding, he made himself move. He dashed down the steps, reaching Angel at the same time Heather did.

The driver of the car, an elderly woman who was so short she could barely see over the dash, got out and started around the car, then hesitated, all the color draining from her face.

Henrietta, who’d come running from the diner along with several of the customers, cast a frantic look at Angel, then urged the woman back into the car. She sent someone inside to call for help and bring back a glass of water for the driver.

Todd knelt beside Heather, whose complexion had gone ashen. Angel looked so tiny lying there, so fragile, but there was no blood, not even a scratch. He picked up her tiny wrist and felt for a pulse, relieved when he felt the steady beat.

“I’ve sent for the doctor,” Henrietta said, leaning over his shoulder. “How is she?”

“Unconscious,” Heather whispered, her voice choked. “Dear God, my baby…”

Todd pushed aside his own panic to put his arm around Heather. “She’s going to be fine,” he said, forcing a note of conviction into his voice. He’d have her flown to the best medical center in the country, if necessary. “Her pulse is strong and steady.”

Keeping Heather calm, preventing her from scooping Angel into her arms and risking further injury as they waited for the doctor required all his attention. He stroked her cheek, then Angel’s, murmuring reassurances meant for both of them. The part of him that stayed cool in a crisis surfaced, blocking the emotional agony of seeing his little girl lying there so still and silent, blocking out the flood of memories of another little girl, another accident.

Only when the doctor arrived and shooed them both out of the way to examine Angel did the panic and self-recriminations kick in. She had been running to him, he reminded himself with a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach. It was all happening again, proof positive that he couldn’t be trusted with a child’s well-being.

Heather clung to his hand so tightly she was cutting off circulation.

“She’ll be all right,” he soothed, pushing aside his own anxiety and stroking her knuckles until she eased her grip.

“Then why isn’t she awake? What if she has a fractured skull? What if there’s brain damage?”

“Whoa,” Todd said, touching a finger to her lips to silence her. He was quaking enough inside without listening to such wild speculation. “Let’s not leap to any conclusions. It’s probably nothing more than a concussion. The car wasn’t going very fast. It doesn’t look like any bones are broken. She probably just hit her head when she fell.”

“She’s waking up!” Henrietta called.

Heather dashed to the doctor’s side and knelt down. “Hi, baby. How’re you doing?”

Again Todd hunkered down next to Heather, relieved when he saw Angel blink in confusion, then finally focus on him. “Hiya, Todd.”

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“Head hurts,” she whimpered, as tears suddenly pooled in her eyes. She reached out her arms, not for her mother, but for him.

Todd glanced at the doctor. “Is it okay?”

The man nodded. “I’d like to get her to the hospital in Laramie for a CAT scan, but I think her only problem is a mild concussion. Go ahead and hold her. It’ll keep her calm.”

Todd picked Angel up carefully and cradled her against his chest. His pulse had finally slowed to something approaching normal, but he wasn’t sure he’d feel completely okay until they’d been to Laramie and Angel had been checked out.

“Doc, you want the ambulance to take her to Laramie?” the sheriff asked. “I’ve got Jeter on call. He’ll be here in two minutes if you say the word.”

The doctor glanced at Todd and Heather. “You two want to take her? I can ride along with you in case there’s a problem.”

“We’ll drive,” Heather agreed. “We can take my car. Todd, do you mind holding her? She seems to be doing fine with you.”

Todd regarded Heather intently, saw the too-bright sheen in her eyes, the lack of color in her cheeks. He might still be uneasy behind the wheel himself, but he knew enough to recognize someone who had absolutely no business being there. He shot a look at the doctor.

“Doc, how about you drive, so Heather and I can ride in the back seat with Angel?”

“Sounds good to me. Unless there’s something I missed, we’ll all be back here before nightfall.”

“You call me the minute you know anything,” Henrietta told them as an obviously distraught Sissy clung to her hand.

Todd knew there would be plenty of time spent waiting at the hospital for the CAT scan results for him to wallow in guilt. And maybe it would also be the perfect time to tell Heather all about his past. Combined with today’s accident, it ought to be more than enough to convince her to take Angel and get as far away from him as possible.

Heather had never known the real meaning of fear until she’d seen her baby lying in the middle of the street. She felt as if every ounce of blood had drained straight out of her. With her pulse hammering and her skin cold and clammy, she’d been sure she was going to be the next casualty until Todd had put his arm around her and whispered a repeated litany of reassurances. After a while she had finally begun to believe him.