Angel Fire (65 page)

She stood motionless. Finally she let out a long breath. “There’s nothing you can say, and there’s nothing you can do. Because neither of us can know for sure. And I won’t take the chance.” She gazed down at her hands in his – squeezed his fingers, and then softly drew away. Her voice was thick with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. Please don’t touch me again.”

No.
No
. He couldn’t let her do this to them; he had to get her to see the truth somehow. The ridiculous thing was how psychic she was – with anyone else, she could just touch their hand and see the truth for herself. But her emotions were so entangled when it came to him that Alex knew she’d get nothing.

The answer came to him all at once, along with a rush of hope so intense it was almost painful. “Wait!” he said as she started to turn away. “Willow, what if Seb reads me? What if he sees in my hand that I’m right – what then?”

Her face went blank with surprise as she stared at him, statue-still in the silvery light. Then her throat moved as she swallowed. “That...would be the most wonderful thing in the world,” she said in a tiny voice.

When they got back to the campfire, they found Seb still there; he’d built the fire up again, and was gazing into its flames. Sam lay snoring softly against the log, out to the world. They sat beside Seb as Alex quickly explained.

“So do you think you can help?” he finished. His muscles were tense; he was suddenly all too aware of what a gift on a silver platter he was offering to Seb – all the guy had to do was tell Willow that yes, she was causing him angel burn, and that would be the end of their relationship for ever.

Seb hadn’t commented while Alex spoke; now he shook his head, his stubble glinting in the firelight. “Willow can’t read you because her feelings are too involved – but you don’t think mine are too?” he pointed out dryly.

“Not as much as mine, not when it comes to reading Alex,” said Willow. She touched his arm. “Please, Seb, just try. I’ve got to know the truth.”

Seb glanced back at Alex. Finally he gave a shrug. “Yes, all right. I’ll try.” He closed his eyes for a moment, seeming to centre himself with a few slow breaths. Then he opened his eyes and held out his hand; his gaze met Alex’s impassively.

Alex put his hand in Seb’s. It felt warm and dry, slightly rough; fleetingly, he thought how weird it was to be sitting here holding another guy’s hand. No one spoke as Seb concentrated; the only sound was the low crackle of the fire, and Sam’s steady snores. Alex watched Seb’s face, hoping for some hint of what he was picking up – what he was going to say.

At last Seb let go of his hand. He gave Alex a considering look, as if he was thinking how to choose his words, and Alex felt his heart drop. “So...what did you get?”

Seb rested his forearm over his knee. “Your father had migraines too,” he said. “So did his father. The men in your family, they’ve all been leaders and they all care very much – it makes them too tense.”

Alex remembered now his father telling him that his grandfather had had migraines, though he’d forgotten this. “Yeah, okay, but—”

“I tried to look at your future, and see what might happen to you,” went on Seb. “I didn’t get very much, because I think I’m there too.” Alex’s pulse beat faster: surely Seb wouldn’t be there if Willow wasn’t? He glanced at Willow; she sat watching Seb, her expression taut. Seb went on, “But I saw your aura looking healthy again, then looking sick after a hunt. And you keep getting migraines. You should take better care of yourself,” he added mildly. “Look for ways to not be so tense – long walks, meditation, these things would help.”

Alex suddenly felt like Seb was his therapist; he had to resist the urge to shake him. Before he could say anything, Willow cleared her throat. “What does all that mean, exactly?”

Seb’s expression was gentle. “I don’t think his migraines are anything to do with you,
querida
. And his aura looks bad, but his father’s often looked worse. It got better – his will too. I don’t think you’re causing him angel burn.”

I don’t think
. Alex winced; he knew Willow wouldn’t be convinced by this. Sure enough, she bit her lip as she stared at Seb. “You don’t know for sure though?”

Seb reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I am maybe ninety-nine per cent certain,” he said. “If I could have gotten more, then I think I’d be a hundred per cent certain. For only one per cent, you should take the chance and be happy with him.” He lifted a shoulder with a small smile. “If you were one of my customers, this is what I’d say to you.”

As the fire crackled gently, Willow sat staring at Seb as if she hadn’t understood the words – then all at once she lunged forward, throwing her arms around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Oh, thank you.”

“I’m glad I was wrong,” Seb murmured back.

The relief was indescribable. Alex let out a breath, his shoulders sagging.

Willow detached herself from Seb and looked at Alex. Her expression was wondering, almost shy. In slow motion, she reached out and stroked back a strand of his hair; the feel of her touch shivered through him. “So, um...I guess—”

Alex stopped her with his mouth, cradling her head in his hands and kissing her almost fiercely, and then they were in each other’s arms, holding on as hard as they could. Willow.
Willow
. He felt her shaking and realized she was crying; he kissed her hair as he clutched her to him, then buried his head against her neck and savoured just having her in his arms again. Dimly, he was aware that Seb had slipped away.

“Come be with me in the tent,” he whispered against her smooth skin. “I want to hold you all night – I want to feel you next to me.”

Willow nodded vehemently; she pulled away to wipe her face and then simply gazed at him for a moment. She swallowed. “You really, really can’t imagine how good that sounds.”

She went to the truck to get her things. Alex’s own bag was on the ground nearby, where he’d left it after rummaging for the energy bars. As he started towards it, he caught sight of Seb – he was standing in the clearing with his hands in his jeans pockets, looking upwards.

Alex hesitated, and then went over to him. For a few seconds neither of them spoke as they studied the night sky with its piercing stars.

“So why did you do it?” asked Alex in Spanish. He glanced over at Seb, studying his profile. “You didn’t have to tell her the truth. Maybe she thinks she only loves you as a brother now, but that could change, if you’d told her something different.”

Seb gave him a dry look. “We’re both psychic,
amigo
. I can’t lie to her.”

“When she was already so worried about it anyway?” Alex shook his head. “No, I bet you could have managed to lie, if you’d wanted.”

Seb didn’t respond at first, and then he shrugged. “I want her to be happy,” he said. The moonlight played on his high cheekbones as he looked up at the stars again. “You make her happy. It wasn’t exactly a complicated decision.”

Alex’s throat tightened, and he thought how ridiculous it was that after everything that had happened today – the mental ruin of friends and teammates; the sight of the destroyed city – it was this unexpected decency from Seb that was making him choke up.

“Thank you,” he said finally.

“You’re welcome.” Seb’s mouth lifted slightly. “I didn’t do it for you, though.”

“Yeah, I know you didn’t.” They regarded each other; Alex was almost painfully aware of how much he’d misjudged the guy. “So, you’re coming to Nevada, right?” he said.

Seb went quiet, rubbing his jaw with the back of a finger. “I’d like to,” he said finally. “I never had a way before to fight what the angels are doing here – I guess I never even really knew I wanted to. But now, after what’s happened to my city...” His face tightened. “Yeah, I’d like to come. Even if it wasn’t for Willow, I’d like to come.”

“Good,” said Alex.

Then Seb raised an eyebrow. “But are you sure you really want me to? I’m still in love with her,
hombre
. If I can take her away from you, I will.”

Alex tilted his head up. The stars were so incredibly clear up here; even clearer than in New Mexico. “If I’m not keeping her happy enough to hold onto her, then I’ll deserve it,” he said. “Yeah, I want you to come. You’re part of my team.”

The tent was lit with a soft glow from the campfire. For a long time, Alex and I just lay in the sleeping bags with our arms around each other, listening to the sound of our heartbeats; the crackle of the fire. I closed my eyes as I ran my hand over the familiar warmth of Alex’s chest; felt him stroke my bare back; gently kiss my neck. I knew the vision of the levelled city would never leave either of us – that it would visit us in nightmares for years to come – but for now, just having this together again felt like sanity. Blessed, healing sanity.

Neither of us spoke, just then. Neither of us needed to. Later, of course, we would. In the days that followed, we talked about everything – how Alex’s deepest fear, right from the start, had been that something would happen to his team; how I’d been so scared of my angel’s actions, but somehow couldn’t talk to him about it. How Sophie hadn’t been the one who’d protected my mother after all – which panicked me when I heard, so that I had to check her again and again to reassure myself that she really was all right, even if we had no idea where she was or who with. Alex’s old crush on Kara, and the way she’d kissed him in the AK house; my own kiss with Seb. My friendship with Seb, which was never going to go away, ever – and which Alex really was fine with now. It turned out that he had been ever since the night of the terrorist attack, when he thought I’d died and had spent hours searching for me – it “kind of put things in perspective” for him, he said.

We’d talk about all of these things later; we’d hash them out and look at them from every angle and make them all okay...but for now, the only thing that mattered was the two of us in the tent together. The softness of the sleeping bags, and the warmth of our bodies.

At last the glow from the campfire was almost gone, leaving the tent cast in shadow. We’d heard Seb and Sam go to bed in the truck a long time ago; the world was quiet. Alex rolled over onto his side and lay looking down at me in the dim light, propped up on his elbow. The expression in his eyes was as serious as the first time he’d told me he loved me. He took my hand and kissed its palm, his lips pressing against my skin...and my heart quickened. I knew before he said it.

“Willow, listen...” He stroked a strand of my hair back. “I know we said we wanted to wait until it could be perfect, but—”

“This
is
perfect,” I interrupted. I touched his face. “We’re here together. It couldn’t possibly be more perfect.”

Alex didn’t say anything, but I caught a wave of his emotions as he bent down and kissed me, and my breath caught with their intensity. Then he pulled away, stretching down to the bottom of the tent. I raised myself up, admiring the beautiful lines of his body as he reached into his bag and pulled something out.

He came back up and put the small box he was holding to one side – and the expression in his eyes as he turned to me made my heart twist. Alex. Oh, Alex. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me; his heart was beating as hard as mine was.

“No, wait,” he murmured suddenly. Straightening up, he reached across me for our pile of clothes, fumbled in the pocket of the grey trousers he’d been wearing.

“Here, sit up,” he said softly. I did, the sleeping bag slipping off me with a rustle. I saw a flash of silver in his hand, and my eyes widened.

“You kept it,” I whispered. I reached up to touch the cool facets of my pendant as he fastened the chain around my neck. My fingers clasped around it tightly. “I thought you’d – throw it away, or—”

“I tried to. I couldn’t leave it behind.” He kept his hands on my neck for a moment, his forehead resting against mine. “Willow, things feel more uncertain than ever now,” he said finally. “But I love you. For as long as I live – if that’s fifty years from now, or just next week – I’ll love you.”

I could hardly get the words out. “I love you too,” I said. I kissed him, our lips lingering together. Then I swallowed, my hand on the back of his neck and my crystal gleaming between us. “And...let’s stop talking for a while, okay?”

When I woke up, it felt like early morning; the blue nylon sides of the tent had a faint glow to them. I was lying in Alex’s arms, our bare limbs entwined. I lay without moving for a few minutes, gazing at the rise and fall of his chest; the curve of his dark eyebrows. I kissed his tattoo gently, loving the feel of his warm skin. The pain of the ruined city was still there, like a heavy weight inside of me – but now there was this new joy too. The night before had been...well, let’s just say it was worth waiting for. Very, very worth waiting for. And it showed every sign of being something that would get even better.

I stretched across Alex and found my clothes, squirming in the sleeping bag as I put them on. Drowsily, he opened his eyes and stroked my arm. “Where are you going?”

“Just outside for a minute,” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

The morning air hit me coolly as I crawled out of the tent, zipping it shut behind me. The truck sat a little way off – no one else was awake yet. I started down to the stream...but then I saw a break in the trees and stopped. Though I hadn’t noticed it the night before, you could see Mexico City from here too.

I walked over, drawn helplessly by the shattered view, and stood staring down at the remains of the city for a long time. And as I did, a chill ran over me. There were no helicopters flying over it, no sign of relief aid. What did that mean? Even if no one else in Mexico could help, what were things like in the United States, if they hadn’t sent aid after such a major catastrophe? The only answers that came to mind weren’t really ones that I wanted to dwell on.

I thought I saw a few angels circling over the ruins, though – bright, moving glimmers that somehow I knew weren’t just a trick of the light. A shiver went over me as I watched them.

Footsteps on the grass, and then Alex was there; he had on jeans and a T-shirt, his dark hair still rumpled from sleep. Without speaking, he put his arms around me from behind and drew me back against him as we both stared down at what used to be the largest city in the world. I knew from the tightening of his muscles that he’d noticed the lack of helicopters too, but he didn’t comment. My chest felt empty as I watched the tiny angels glinting over the devastation. The sorrow I felt was too great for tears now – too deep for anything that could be verbalized.