Angel (28 page)

Virgin.

Even the word sounds unbelievable to me, but it’s true. I’ve never been overly outgoing, except when it comes to running my business and getting shit done. I’m on the shy side and have never felt comfortable with women in general as far as relationships go. I gave up years ago thinking there was someone out there for me. I figure that part of life just isn’t in my stack of cards.

I know most of the guys that come in here sit there with their dicks hard, watching the harem of beauties that work here. They probably think that as the club owner, my cock samples all the goods. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I don’t even remember the last time I stroked off. If it’s not the real thing, I’m just not all that interested. And I guess I just haven’t met the real thing. And I probably never will.

So I stay focused on work. Not just making money, though that part isn’t awful either. But the other part. Seeing so many of these girls come in over the years looking for work, thinking it was just another seedy club where they would take their clothes off and bang customers in the bathroom for extra cash.

Then when they see what I’m doing here, they see a glimmer of hope for a different future. Since I had started my first club, I’ve gladly paid for my girls’ rehab, attorneys, GEDs, college tuition, and I’ve bashed in some pimps’ faces when they’ve tried to come get back what they think belongs to them.

It’s become my life and I’m proud of each of them when they go off into the world to become whatever is next. Some are now lawyers, PTA mothers, social workers, even doctors.

I take the pictures from Allister’s hand as I pass by and look down at the top photo as I step into the hallway, heading for the club floor.

I’m too tired to care much right now about what wayward young woman we may be able to help, but I pull my shoulders back and try to focus. This is important to me, I remind myself. I love the money I make, but I want to matter. I want to make a difference in someone’s life. That’s what gets me off.

There’s a tug on the skin covering my chest as I pull my shoulders back and the muscles stretch over the scars, reminding me of why I retired when I did from the military. I roll my neck around, trying to loosen the tightness as we get closer to the end of the hallway.

“I can handle it, boss.” Allister says from just behind my left shoulder, sensing my fatigue. “Just get your food, take off, leave it to me. Two of these girls look like they won’t last a day with your rules anyway. And the third,” he makes a noise in his throat, “she looks like she’s never been outside her nursery before. Although, you know, that innocent one has a rack on her. And a fucking ass for days. A little on the thick side, but different strokes for different folks. I guarantee she’s never seen the inside of a club before.”

I chuckle under my breath. Allister enjoys looking, and he and I don’t necessarily have the same taste but he’s a gentleman to his core.

“Who’s on the door tonight?” I ask, rubbing my chin with my other hand.

“Buzz,” he says with a huff.

“He’s on his last warning.” I second his huff. We try to help out everyone, guys as well, but I’m harder on them. I expect the men that work here to be gentlemen at all times as well, and Buzz seems to think this is his own private dick playground, and that shit does not fly.

“Yeah, I know. He’s trying my patience, and there isn’t much of that to begin with. When that little doe arrived I gave him the stare. He was looking at her like she was a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

Allister never touches any of the girls that work here either, but he’s a bit more outspoken than me. As we’re making our way down the hall I bring the three photos he stuffed into my hand into my line of vision.

I shoulder open the swinging door that separates the offices from the club floor, then glance down absently at the top photo just as I’m losing the bright light of the hallway for the dim flashing lights of the bar. And I feel like someone just shoved a taser down my pants.

There she is, standing across the room, same face as the one in the picture. She’s got her arms crossed, eyes looking around like she’s just landed on Mars.

I know it’s fucking impossible, but I swear I can smell her and it’s like some long forgotten scent suddenly bombarding me with feelings about this tiny, lush creature – a complete stranger.

My pace quickens and I’m making a beeline for the three girls standing where Allister left them waiting. Except I only really see one.

“I got this, old man.” Allister urges me to make my way home, but there’s no fucking way I’m leaving now. “Like I said, that little one isn’t half-bad, it’s just—”

“Shut up.” The anger in my voice shocks me.

All he’s doing is talking about her and I’m worked up like this. What the fuck is wrong with me? Thinking that he’s looked at her, that he’s had lustful thoughts about her, has me ready to turn against my best friend. I don’t know what this reaction is, but I do know; I don’t want anyone’s eyes on her except mine. The mere fact that she’s here applying for a position as a dancer has me ready to split heads.

“I’ll send the other two home. I’ll talk to this one.” I look down at the picture in my hand, then back up and my cock is filling my pants, something that has not once happened in all the years I’ve run these clubs and been around these girls. Whoever this little sweet-tart is, she’s managed to move things inside me I wasn’t sure were still moveable.

A rush of blood through my ears blocks out the music and ambient sounds of the club. Heat radiates from my core and I’m drawn into a vortex of something long forgotten. I want her in ways I didn’t realize I could want. Some primal part of me stirs and I know what I’ve been waiting for is right here.

Right now.

Now I have to go and make sure she knows she’s claimed.

Chapter 2

May

“You are not sneaking out!” Leah shouts, doing her best to sound threatening.

We are in my bedroom. Tapestries hang on the walls beside oil paintings framed with ornate gold-leaf. And among them hang my posters and torn off magazine covers. When I was younger it was all boy bands, but now they have been replaced by covers of Bon Appetit and a truckload of retro ‘80s band posters I found in the attic.

Simon, our guardian, took the posters down over and over as I grew up, but I would usually get one of the staff to get me more. They feel sorry for us. Most of the estate staff stayed on after the accident, and Miss Henrietta and Mr. Fredby are like grandparents to us.

I would get more posters, save them up, then stay up all night covering my walls all at once, because seeing Simon’s stupid face turn fire-engine red when he would see it was almost as good as having the posters back up.

He was my father’s right hand man. His confidant and advisor. Now, he’s just an asshole.

“Shhhh!” I hiss as I pull on my thigh-high white socks and take a deep breath. “You’re going to get us both in trouble.”

My sister, Leah, gives me her best motherly glare. She looks so much like Mom it’s spooky. I mean, I don’t remember Mom that well, but from what I do remember –and from the scrap book pictures I’ve worn out over the years– it’s almost like looking at my Mom’s face when I see my sister.

“No, you’re the one that’s going to get in trouble.” She lowers her voice to an agitated whisper and inches her wheelchair forward in an attempt to intimidate me.

It doesn’t work, I’m determined.

“No one is coming to check on us. Besides, they are out for the night.”

You would think it would make me mad that my fiancé is out almost every night without me, but ours is not a match made in any sort of heaven. Couple that with the fact that he’s the son of our guardian, who hasn’t been the most nurturing soul over the last twelve years, and the weirdness factor is off the charts.

“This will never work.” Leah presses her palms down and rubs the tops of her thighs with a wince. They get sore during the day and by evening she is in the chair, which I know she loathes.

“It will work.” The tenacity in my voice is as much to convince myself as her. “It might work.” I temper my bravado and slip my feet into a pair of sparkly, pink and purple, patent leather ballet flats. I pop up from the edge of the bed and grab my favorite sweater, which I picked out just for tonight.

“You are
not
wearing that.” Leah groans.

“What? I love this sweater.” I pick up the lime green, polka-dot cardigan and hold it out, regarding it. “It’s fun.”

“Like we would know what fun is?” Leah snorts and spins in a slow circle in her chair.

“Like you would know what
style
is? For all we know, striped kimonos and chef’s aprons are what girls our age are wearing.” I look at the sweater again. “Dad would have liked it.” I push one hand into the cashmere sleeve and pull it up over my shoulders and the opposite arm. Before I start to button it, I walk over to the enormous mirror which stands above the antique dresser, flanking the door to the ensuite bathroom. I’ve got on a white bra and panties. At least they match. And they are as fancy as anything I have. But they do not say ‘stripper.’

I do my best not to focus on the way my collarbones don’t stick out or there isn’t a rib in sight. I realize I may not be the pinnacle of every man’s desire, but maybe there is some demand for the novelty, dancing chubby girl.

This is as sexy as I’m going to get, so I hope it’s enough.

“Dad liked everything you did.” Leah’s voice is softer.

I snap my head around and see her bright smile. She’s beautiful, like magazine cover beautiful.

I always wished I could look like her. If we were in a movie, she would be the glamorous leading lady and I would be the plain Jane sidekick with my too-round center and my inability to keep wild, inappropriate things from tumbling out of my mouth at the worst possible moments.

“He loved everything about everything. Especially us.” The melancholy hangs like a mist for a moment before I finish buttoning my sweater to the top button and clutch my arms around myself, running them upward over my upper arms to my shoulders.

“How are you going to get there?  If you take a car they will know.”

“I’m taking the bus.” I stand up, stretching every inch of my five feet, grinning as I drop my arms and face my older sister. She’s still giving me that protective stare.

“The bus? How do you even know there is a bus?” She’s mocking me now.

“It’s called the
internet
.” I roll my eyes, turning back toward the mirror and grabbing a hair band from the top of the dresser.

How would a stripper wear her hair to a stripper interview?

“The
internet
? When were you on the
internet
?” Leah’s eyes widen.

I tip my head back and forth like a metronome before I squint my eyes and tell the truth. “I grabbed a bus schedule out of Mariana’s purse.”

Mariana is one of the kitchen staff here at the estate.

I see Leah behind me cover her face with both hands and shake her head, snorting.

“I’ll be fine. It’s like less than a mile from here. I mean, where else can I work and Simon won’t know? They never come around up here at night. It’s just been the two of us up here for months. I can sneak out at eleven, be back by four-thirty, and hopefully get some money in my pocket. We are not living here forever, Leah. I’m telling you.” I spin around as I throw my auburn hair into a ponytail on top of my head. “We are leaving here and getting our own place at least for a while. I want to be out in the world, see things. I want to
do
things.”

“I told you, just go, leave me here. I have no life anyway.” She drops her eyes to look down at her legs. When she’s not in the chair, she has to use her forearm crutches. Both her legs were crushed in the accident and she’s lucky they were able to save them at all.

She eyes me with hope and it hurts to look at her as she continues. “It’ll be so much easier for you to just go get a place on your own. You can get the money together for that if you don’t have me around. Taking care of me is not your obligation. I want you to be happy, May. That’s what I want more than anything.”

“I
will never
leave you,” I snap. “And
I
want
us
to be happy more than anything. I’ll figure this out. You just have to trust me.”

“How do you even know about this Monarch place? What do you even know? It could be dangerous.”

“I’ve been reading about it. Simon lets me read the business section of the newspaper and I’ve been following it for a year. The city council tried to block the entire project, but finally they got their zoning approvals and it’s been the big talk around, because who would have ever expected there to be a nightclub –let alone a strippy type club– around here? Everyone was just all gaspy and not-in-my-neighborhood about it.” I smile because it made me oddly satisfied when they won the battle and were able to build the club. This stuffy neighborhood needs some shaking up.

“What about Victor?” She screws up her face as she says his name.

“What about him?”

“You’re supposed to marry him. If your plan is to go out and make money so we can move out, are you not doing that? Because, you know what that means.” She shakes some hair out of her eyes. “Do you love him? Like Mom and Dad kind of love?”

I don’t want to have this conversation right now and we both know the answer anyway. I play with my ponytail then try to loosen the waistband of my skirt so not so much muffin top is hanging over. It doesn’t work so I just pull my sweater down farther, which also does no good.

I swallow hard and do my best to stay focused. I’m doing this, and yes, it may be silly but I don’t care. I lean into the dresser and play with a sterling silver hand mirror that used to be Mom’s.

“That’s not what everybody gets. Mom and Dad were lucky. I just want some freedom before I get married. I won’t lose this place either. I’ll marry Victor. But this place is our home even if it doesn’t feel like it right now with
them
here.” The last time we saw our mother, in the hospital before she passed away, she made us promise to keep this house in the family.