Authors: Jennifer Lavoie
“Huh? Oh, sorry.”
“What's wrong?”
“Nothingâ¦I just realized you might not be here over the summer, that's all.” The thought of that hurt. He wondered what Ryder had planned for college, toyed with the idea that they might end up at the same school.
Or we might not
, he thought as he stared at the ground.
“Hey, I might or I might not be. I haven't decided what I'm doing yet, okay? So let's not think about it. Let's just think like I am going to be hereâthat way if I am, we'll have stuff to do.”
“And what if you're not?”
“Then we'll talk from wherever I am!”
“But what about our plans, then?”
“We'll reschedule them.”
Andrew stared at him, upset. “Would you want to come back after you leave?”
Ryder abruptly dropped the shovel he held and crossed the small distance between them. Before Andrew could step back, Ryder had invaded his space, pulling him close, and kissed him until his body relaxed. He pulled away after a few moments and rested his forehead against Andrew's.
“Andrew, look at me. Iâ”
“Oops! Sorry, boys!” Ryder jumped back and Andrew saw his uncle standing there. Mr. Kensington turned away and strode off quickly.
Andrew stood frozen to his spot, eyes wide and face pale. “D-did he see us?” he eventually whispered.
“I don't know,” Ryder whispered back. When he finally moved, he peeked outside of the stall and found his uncle on the other end of the barn, tossing hay into Dante's stall. “Holy shit.”
“We're so screwed,” Andrew moaned. “He's going to tell my parents and my parents are going to flip out andâ”
“Andy, shut up. I don't think it's going to be that bad.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because he didn't launch himself at us and kill us right then? I don't know. Let's try to be rational about this. Look, let's just see what he wanted, okay? We don't even know yet if he saw us.”
“You go. I can't face him.”
“You boys finished so we can talk?” Mr. Kensington called from the other side of the barn, with what sounded like a chuckle under his breath. Andrew and Ryder exchanged a look of confusion, but remained rooted to their spots.
Andrew groaned.
“Come on.” Ryder grabbed his hand and pulled, but Andrew pulled it away. He didn't stop following him, though. “Yeah, Uncle Kyle?”
Uncle Kyle was tossing hay into the stall and didn't break stride. “Anything you boys want to tell me about what was going on back there?”
“Nothing in particular,” Ryder responded coolly, but his words and tone belied his nervousness.
Mr. Kensington looked at them and leaned up against the wall, trying to look serious. He tried to meet Andrew's gaze, but Andrew refused to look him in the eye. He fixed his stare on a spot on the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the barn. His heart raced.
So dead. So, so dead.
“Boys, I expect you to know better,” Uncle Kyle finally said after a few moments of excruciating silence.
“Uncle Kyle, weâ”
“Hold on, I'm not finished. I expect you to know better than to mess around when you're working for me. The horses need to be cared for, and you're on my time.” He let his voice go into an affected Southern drawl that sounded fake. Andrew looked at him and grew even more confused when his lips curled up into a smile. “Don't look so worried. It's okay. I already knew about the two of you. I figured it out a while ago, to be honest.”
“You knew?” Ryder asked.
“Yes, I knew. And I'm okay with the two of you seeing each other. But I meant what I said about you working. The horses really do need to be looked after. However, when you're on your own⦔
He didn't need to finish his sentence and went back to his work with the stall.
“You're right. We're sorry,” Ryder said.
“Good. Now get back over there and get to work. I expect those stalls to be mucked out and finished within the hour.”
“Yes, sir! And, Uncle Kyle? Thank you.” Clearly relieved, Ryder dragged the still-gawking Andrew back to the stall. “Come on, Andy. Move it.”
“What theâ¦what the hell was that about?” Andy whispered.
“I told you it wouldn't be a problem,” Ryder rasped back.
“He's going to tell your aunt, isn't he?”
Ryder picked up the shovel. “Probably. But if he's cool with it, then she will be, too.”
“I really, really hope you're right.”
Andrew followed Ryder's lead and finished the stall, but his actions felt clumsy as his mind raced. They were being stupid. They had to be more careful. Mr. Kensington had already figured it out before he caught them. Even if Mr. Kensington didn't mind, that didn't mean everyone else would be as forgiving.
“I can't believe my dad agreed to this!” Andrew said just two days later. He pushed Ryder's bag off the seat and onto the floor.
“I know. My aunt and uncle, too. It's great!”
It was nearly midnight on Christmas Eve and Andrew stopped at the Kensingtons' to pick up Ryder. His parents had spoken with the Kensingtons about the situation, and though they hesitated initially, they finally agreed to let Ryder stay with Andrew's family for the holiday. And now he was going to their house to spend the next three days with them. Just like they'd planned. Andrew had gotten back from Buffalo just twenty minutes earlier and had barely had time to put his gifts in the house before dashing out to collect Ryder and his things.
The slick snow that had been falling all day covered the road, and it definitely felt like Christmas. Ryder looked around as Andrew drove back to his house. Christmas songs were all over the radio, and Andrew sang along with them, unable to contain his excitement and holiday spirit.
“So how was your family today?”
“Crazy, but we had a lot of fun. A lot of good food, too. I'm so full.”
“What kind of stuff did you get?”
Andrew laughed. “Clothes, a CD, DVD, some gift cards. Normal stuff from family members that don't know what to buy, you know? What about you? Did your aunt and uncle get you anything?”
“Yeah, we opened our stuff tonight. They got me some gift cards too, but the coolest thing? I got a package from my mom and dad.”
“Really? That's great!”
“Yeah, Aunt Lisa got it a week ago, but she hid it from me so I'd wait to open it.” He grinned. “She knew I would have opened it that day. They sent a letter and a bunch of pictures and souvenirs and things like that. Some books and a cool shirt.”
“Books? Can you read German?”
“No, not at all. But it's still cool. Mom figured I'd like it. I think they'll make me look smarter.”
“Dork,” Andrew teased.
No one else traveled the roads this late at night with the snow on the ground. Andrew drove slowly with the truck in four-wheel drive, and close to forty-five minutes later pulled up to his house. The lights were already off in the living room, but the Christmas tree lights sparkled in the front window. The large tree completely took it over.
Quietly, the two brought Ryder's things into the house and locked the door behind them. “Where am I going to sleep?” asked Ryder.
“In the family room. Mom said we can both sleep in there if we want.”
“Think that's a good idea?” Ryder teased as Andrew's face flushed visibly even in the dim light.
“Probably not. I should sleep upstairs tonight. But come on, I'll help you get the couch ready. It's not that bad.”
“I don't mind. I'd sleep on the floor if I had to.”
“Maybe in the summer, but it's too cold for that now.”
Between the two of them they managed to get the couch made with the sheets and blankets his mother had left. Ryder tossed his pillow down and stretched.
“What time do you get up in the morning?”
“Pretty early. Everyone fights for the shower. Andrea's usually the last, though.”
“Wake me when you get up?”
Andrew nodded. “Sure. I'm usually up by eight, is that all right?”
“That's fine.”
Looking around the room, Andrew hesitated briefly before closing the distance between them and giving him a deep kiss. Ryder's hands settled briefly on his hips before they pulled away from each other.
“Night,” Andrew whispered.
“Good night.”
Andrew headed upstairs to get ready for bed. After changing in the bathroom, he slipped silently across the hall and collapsed onto his bed. The sheets were cold but warmed up quickly. Across the room Andrea had already fallen deeply asleep. With a sigh he turned toward the wall.
I want my room back
, he thought before he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
*
Andrew woke up to smell of coffee drifting into his room. Without hesitating he threw back the covers and slid out of bed. His parents were already up, moving downstairs, and Andrea still slept soundly, as predicted. Grabbing his clothes, he made his way to the bathroom and took a quick shower. He wondered if Ryder had woken up yet as he dressed and brushed his hair. He dried it quickly and went downstairs to see. Ryder sat at the kitchen table with his father, holding a cup of coffee and wearing just his sweats.
“Morning,” Andrew said calmly as he poured himself a cup of coffee. His heart pounded at having his boyfriend sitting at the table so early in the morning with his father.
Ryder grinned, already sipping from his. “Mornin'.”
“You're up early.”
“The delicious scent of coffee and bacon woke me,” Ryder admitted. “Kind of hard to ignore your stomach.”
“And you'll have your fill of it once you go shower,” Andrew's mother said from the stove.
Ryder nodded and stood, setting his mug down. “I'll do that before Andrea gets up.”
Andrew watched as he disappeared into the living room, then reappeared with a bundle of clothes and went upstairs. A few minutes later he heard the shower running.
“I hope that couch is comfortable enough,” his father said.
“It is, don't worry,” said Andrew. He stole a piece of bacon and slid away from the stove when his mother reached out to smack his arm.
“Stop stealing the food and go wake your sister.”
Andrew dashed up the stairs and threw the door open. “Andrea! Mom says to wake up. It's Christmas.”
No movement came from the other bed.
“Andrea!”
“Nghh, what?” came a muffled groan from the bed.
“Get your ass up. Mom's making breakfast, and Grandma and Grandpa are going to be here in like an hour. Get moving. Or me and Ryder are going to eat all of the bacon.”
“It's so early,” she whined, rolling onto her back and rubbing her eyes. She pushed herself up and yawned, hair sticking everywhere.
Behind him the shower stopped. “Shower's free. Ryder just got out.”
Andrea glared at him but got out of bed and grabbed her clothes. Ryder opened the door and steam poured out into the hallway. He stood dressed in a new pair of jeans and a new shirt. His hair hung in wet, gently waved strands nearly to his shoulders.
Andrew followed him down the stairs.
“Is that the shirt your mom bought you?”
“Yep, pretty cool, isn't it?”
“Yeah, it's nice,” Andrew admitted. He admired the way it clung to Ryder's taller frame in all the right places, showing off his thin but strong body and muscular arms.
With the showering out of the way they were allowed to eat their breakfast. The bacon was crisp and the pancakes were shaped vaguely like little trees. By the time Andrea came downstairs, dressed, everyone else had finished eating. A plate had been left out for her and she ate while everyone else cleaned up. Andrew's mom put the ham in the oven to start cooking and set it for a few hours.
“There, that will be ready by one,” she said as she stepped back. She pushed them all out of the kitchen to get out of her way as she started to set up for later. They went to the living room and dropped onto the couch, staring at the tree with all its presents.
Andrew put in an old Christmas movie,
Scrooge
, and they watched it for a while. He knew all of the words and could sing all of the songs, and explained to Ryder that he would only watch that version of
Scrooge
on Christmas day. When his grandparents arrived, Andrew's grandfather came in and started singing with the movie as well, striking goofy poses as he did so. Ryder laughed along with everyone else.
After their arrival the family stopped to open presents. Though only six of them were present, there were a lot of gifts under the tree, most having been shipped in from out-of-state family and friends. Ryder sat next to Andrew, content to watch.
Andrew watched Ryder from the corner of his eye. He could tell that although he had a smile on his face, it was strained. He missed his own parents, and Andrew wished they were here with him; he couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like not to have your parents around for the holiday.
“Thanks, Grandma! These are great,” he said as he shed his old shoes to pull the brand-new pair on.
“You're welcome. Glad you like them.”
“Here you go, Ryder,” Andrew's mother said as she handed him a small box.
He took it, confusion sweeping across his face. “What's this?”
“Open it and find out.”
Ryder glanced over at Andrew who shrugged, fighting back a grin. “Mr. and Mrs. Morris, you didn't have to get me anything.”
“We wanted to. Just open it.”
He did as they asked and grinned at the gift card inside the box. It was for the local sports store that carried riding tack. “Hey, thanks! This is great.”
“We saw that they carried horse supplies, but we weren't sure what you needed.”
“This is fantastic. Cobalt needs a new halter. Thank you!”