Anathema - The Song of Eloh Saga, Book 2 (10 page)

I backed out of her reach.

“Don’t touch me,” I said. “You’re trying to
soothe me, aren’t you?”

“Just let me,” Ivy choked out between sobs,
her hand shaking. “I’ve done it to you your whole life. You
wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re so stupid, Reychel. You’ve always
been stupid. You had it all. I had nothing. The only way I got
close to having something was to soothe secrets out of people. They
talk when they’re relaxed, you know. People tell me things they
wouldn’t normally talk about.

“I know things that would blow your mind,”
Ivy continued. “I could destroy your whole world with four words.
And now that you’ve ruined the only thing I’ve ever wanted by
taking Mark away from me…”

Ivy paused, staring at me for a moment.

“I didn’t take him away from you,” I
insisted. “He’s just a friend.”

“He doesn’t want me,” Ivy said, her eyes
narrowing. “He wants you. Just like everyone else. It’s always
about you, Reychel. When is it going to be about me?”

I couldn’t believe this. Shaking my head, I
moved closer to Ivy ready to take her in my arms. Maybe all she
needed was a hug, a reassurance that I didn’t want Mark.

Ivy stepped backwards. “I’m done with you.
I’m leaving.”

“What?” I reached out for her again but she
slapped my arm.

“I know the basics in herbology, at least
enough to make a living. I’m leaving.”

Ivy packed her few possessions into the bag
Tania had given her. I watched, unable to bring myself to stop her.
Maybe what Mark had told me was true. Ivy had been keeping secrets,
big ones it seemed.

“Where will you go?” I asked.

Ivy whirled around. “Do you even care? You
have everything you want here. A place to hide and a boy to
love.”

“I don’t,” I started.

“Don’t you dare say that you don’t love him
too,” Ivy snarled. “I don’t have to soothe you to see it. You’re so
obvious to everyone but yourself.”

Ivy stormed out of the room, slamming the
bedroom door behind her. I overheard a quick argument between Ivy
and Johna and then I heard the front door closed. I sank down on
the bed, head in my hands, and refused to move even though the door
creaked open.

“What just happened here?” Johna
demanded.

My tearless eyes looked up at Johna. I
wanted to cry, but nothing would come.

“Ivy’s gone,” I responded.

“I’m aware of that, child. Tell me
more.”

“She thinks I’m in love with Mark.”

“That much is obvious,” Johna said. “All of
this is about jealousy because you love him?”

I sighed. Didn’t anyone understand? I wasn’t
in love with Mark.

“Ivy also said she knows something about me.
Some kind of secret. Mark,” I paused, not wanting to reveal his
secret, “knew she was up to something. He suspected it.”

“What does she know?” Johna asked.

“I have no idea. She didn’t share it with me
before she left and it wasn’t in me to argue with her anymore than
I did.”

Johna looked around the room.

“She took all of her stuff, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said.

“Good,” Johna said. “Don’t want her coming
back here looking for anything. I knew that girl was trouble the
moment I saw you two in the woods. I didn’t read her thoughts, but
I knew something was wrong with her.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t see it?” I
asked.

“Probably. It’s usually the ones closest to
us that we have the hardest time reading.”

I knew that was true. Mark and Johna
couldn’t have been closer friends. She was like an aunt to him, but
she didn’t know his secret. I wondered if she even suspected
anything.

“I’ll need to keep training you,” Johna
said. “And I need to come up with an excuse as to why my niece left
so quickly. Unfortunately I can’t replace you with her. It would be
too suspicious so you’ll have to remain hidden. Plus, your eyes
would give you away in a heartbeat.”

I nodded, not caring whether or not I ever
saw another person again. My only friend, in many ways a sister in
my heart, had left me in anger. My heart was breaking. My chest
hurt as the tears I so desperately wanted to cry broke from my eyes
pouring down my face like a rainstorm.

“I feel like part of me is dying,” I
whispered.

“Thanks, child,” Johna said, rubbing her
hands together. “Yes, a death in the family. It’s perfect.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” I said, wiping
my eyes with the back of my hand.

“I know, but you helped me anyway. You’re
like that, you know? You help people without even trying. You’ll
perk up eventually. Take some time to yourself.”

Johna smiled as she walked out of the room
and closed the door behind her, leaving me alone.

Chapter Eleven

Although Johna didn’t hide her pleasure at
Ivy’s absence, she understood I needed to mourn the loss of my best
friend. Once the tears began they didn’t stop until I felt I’d
never be able to produce another drop of the salty tears that
flowed down my cheeks. With my eyes swollen and my lips chapped, I
emerged only to eat the soup Johna set on the table.

We didn’t look at each other and ate in
silence. Though I might have noticed Johna glancing at me out of
the corner of my eye I didn’t have any interest in engaging her. I
didn’t want to talk about Ivy. I wasn’t ready.

That evening, after crawling back on the
cot, I heard a knock at the door. It was past business hours and
Johna rarely had unannounced guests. It meant only one person:
Mark. His deep tenor echoed through the house but I couldn’t make
out any of his words. Nor did I understand Johna’s voice, but her
tone was clear. She asked him to leave, short and to the point. His
voice rose, I assumed in protest, but I had no interest in
listening at the door like Ivy and I had done in the past. I had
little interest in anything but sleep. The door closed and so did
my eyes.

I spent the next two days doing nothing more
than eating, sleeping, and crying. Johna was gone delivering a baby
and tending to the mother. I had no duties and no one to report
to.

The third morning, I awoke as Johna tiptoed
out of her bed. My mind felt clearer, the pain only a dull throb in
my head and my heart. Ivy was gone. She hated me. How could I go on
without her? I waited for my heart to stop beating but the thudding
continued regardless reminding me with every thump that I was
alive.

Johna peered over at me, her eyes searching
mine for a signal. A smile broke from the corner of my cracked
lips.

“I won’t bite,” I croaked. It amazed me what
days of crying could do to my throat.

“Good! Then get up. I need your help with
preparing some herbals for Roc’s new baby.” Johna kicked me lightly
with her foot as she shuffled towards the bedroom door. “There will
always be sadness, child, but until you’re dead life goes on. Don’t
waste it lying in bed.”

“It still hurts.”

“Of course it does. No one said you’d get
over it right away. But while you’re of able body you’d better
believe you’re going to get up and do some work around here.”

I felt that smile trying to break through
again and this time I didn’t hold back. My lips seared with pain as
they cracked in new places.

“Ow,” I squeaked.

“Only one cure for that,” Johna muttered
waiting for me to get up.

“What’s that?”

“Water, rest, and no salt.”

I laughed again, grateful we had little
salted pork in the pantry. My tongue, feeling thick and sensitive,
flicked out of my mouth.

“And don’t you dare lick those lips,” Johna
scolded. “You’ll make it worse. Now get up and get to work.”

Following her advice, I reentered the world
of the living.

The next month passed quickly. My days were
filled studying herbology and there was always something new to
learn. I couldn’t even imagine whether or not Ivy was making any
money as an herbologist. She only knew the very basics, but
depending on where she settled, maybe that’s all she needed.

I wondered if she was successful. Happy?
Miserable? My agony at her absence slowly mellowed into sadness and
then into content. After a week I gave up on her return. After
three weeks I gave up on receiving a letter. By the fourth week I
convinced myself I would never hear from her again.

I kept to the inside of Johna’s cottage,
avoiding the outside world. Mark told Johna the troops were still
under orders to watch for me and while they didn’t advertise it,
they were all anxious to catch me. My master grew angrier by the
day, though recently there had been rumors of a mistress. I hoped
this new woman would take his mind off of me. Once he stopped
caring about me, I might be able to live a real life.

In the evenings, when I had time to myself,
I would stare out the knothole in the bedroom shutters, but I never
ventured out again. Some nights I told stories to myself, like I
used to do for Kandek and Ivy, but more often than not I didn’t
have the interest. A story wasn’t good unless someone wanted to
hear it.

Since the night Mark and I had spoken in
darkness, I avoided him. If he came to the cottage, I excused
myself to my room. I saw the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn’t face
him. Our friendship had caused the breakdown of my friendship with
Ivy. It was too painful to be around him, so I ran away whenever he
came by. His visits became less frequent and we hadn’t even seen
him in the last five days.

I was sure I had driven him away for good
until the evening he reappeared at our doorstep. A loud knock
interrupted me as I was grinding herbs at the counter. Johna waved
me under the counter, a move I’d become more familiar with than I’d
like. I heard her open the door and I recognized Mark’s boots
through the knothole.

“Mark, what a surprise,” Johna exclaimed.
“It’s been a few days. I was beginning to worry about you.”

He slammed the door behind him and his boots
made straight for the counter.

“Come out now. I know you’re under there
Reychel. I’m tired of you hiding from me.”

I crawled out and stood up to find him
leaning over the counter, our faces nose to nose. The pain I
expected to feel didn’t materialize, just a contented resign. His
warm breath met my lips and nose. I couldn’t help notice the smell
of toasted almonds, my favorite treat, teasing my senses. Maybe I
was beginning to heal. Maybe I had already healed. I didn’t know
how to find out which.

“I’m taking you out of here tonight. You’re
coming with me to a tavern on the other side of town.” Mark looked
at Johna over his shoulder. “No one will notice the color of her
eyes in the dull firelight and I’ll be sure we sit in the
shadows.”

My heart fluttered. Could I really leave the
cottage and be among people without being noticed? Could it be
possible? And to go to a tavern. Oh, I’d heard of them before but
never set foot in one. My anger at Mark forgotten, I glanced over
at Johna.

Her lips pursed, her eyes furrowed, Johna
took a deep breath. “I don’t think it’s wise.”

“I’m tired of being wise. I’m sure Reychel
is tired of it too. One night. One tavern. Just a couple drinks. No
one will notice. It’s almost impossible to see who’s at the next
table because of the darkness.”

“Please Johna,” I begged. I suddenly craved
leaving her cottage more than I had ever craved my freedom in the
past. It took Mark’s initiative to crack my shell and now I wanted
out. “I’ve wanted so much to walk among the people and maybe this
way I can. I’ve rarely been outside walls. Please can I have this
chance?”

“And just who will you tell people you are?
This is a small town. Everyone knows everyone else.” Johna placed
her hands on her hips. “And don’t you dare,” she glanced at Mark,
“tell anyone she’s a camp follower you met in the army. I will not
have Reychel’s reputation besmirched even if no one knows who she
is.”

“Already covered,” Mark said. “A band of
gypsies rolled into town today. I can just say she’s one of them.
No one will know the difference.”

“And if those gypsies are in the
tavern?”

Amused by their banter, I sat down on the
stool that we kept behind the counter. I didn’t care who they
decided I was, as long as I was allowed to go. They continued to
argue as I slipped into the back bedroom and put on a clean dress.
It wasn’t a fancy dress, just a plain dark blue work dress, but I
couldn’t imagine anyone else would be dressed any finer. I’d seen
glimpses of common people throughout the years and they didn’t
dress like Kandek’s noble friends.

I grabbed my wig off of my cot and adjusted
it over my own hair. My dark locks now tickled my ears. Many days I
wondered how long it would take to reach my shoulders but just as
often I was happy only to have it there.

I walked back into the main room as Johna
patted Mark on the shoulder.

“Take good care of her.” Johna looked over
at me and a smile spread across her leathery face. “And just how
did you know I was going to let you go?”

I shrugged with a smirk on my lips. Mark
reached out his hand to me.

“I’ve missed you,” he said. “I was afraid
you’d reject me again tonight. But I had to give it a try.”

“I’m sorry. I needed time. I think I’m
feeling better now.” I put my hand in his, savoring the gentle of
his touch of his hand combined with the roughness of his skin. “But
I wouldn’t have known that if you hadn’t pushed tonight. Thank
you.”

Mark nodded, a smile on his face, as we
headed out into the dark night. The town was softly lit by
candlelight streaming from open windows. Other cottages glowed from
the inside, their diffused light pushing through the shutters. I
took a deep breath, smelling the fresh night air, letting the
coolness of it fill my lungs. Mark’s fingers laced with mine as we
strolled down the dirt road towards the tavern.