Anabel Unraveled (35 page)

I heard someone clearing their throat. Oh, no. I broke away from Jared, but I knew the damage had been done. I turned to face him, hoping it wasn’t too late, or that maybe it was Meghan who had come out to find us.

But I had no such luck. Matt was staring at the ground. “I’ll meet you when you’re done,” he said to me, and then turned and walked away.

Jared barked a laugh. “He’s finally left us alone.”

“Who says that’s what I want?”

“I think you just made it pretty clear what you wanted, Anabel,” he replied, pulling me back toward him.

But by that point, I was done with Jared. I yanked myself away from him. “You’ve really done it this time.”

“Anabel, you need to face facts. He and Sam have some scheme to make you think that he likes you, so that you’ll leave me.” His tone was almost pleading.

I paused. Maybe Jared was right. Maybe it was a ploy. Still, I needed to know—and that didn’t change my feelings for Matt one bit. “I was never with you in the first place,” I declared. “Give my apologies to your mom and Meghan.” I walked away from him then, as quickly as I could, and caught up to Matt at the front door. He didn’t look at me, but led the way to the parking lot.

We got in the car in silence. I kept shooting him furtive glances, but his eyes were on the road.

“Matt?” I ventured.

“Not now.”

His harsh tone made me feel like I had been slapped. “You don’t understand-”

“Look, Anabel, maybe you’re a lost cause.” He stared straight ahead.

“I’m a lost cause? Nice, real nice. He kissed me, you know. I did not expect that.” I wanted to cry, but my growing frustration with Matt Moore was taking over and now I was just plain mad.

“He was staring at you like a dog in heat all night.” Matt made a sharp turn and I fell against the side of the car.

“Ouch!” I rubbed my arm. “I’m pregnant, you know.”

“Oh yes, Anabel, you remind all of us of that on an hourly basis,” he snapped, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just your way of getting attention, from him, from me, from anyone else.” He wasn’t bothering to suppress his rage.

“I don’t want his attention,” I retorted.

“Then explain to me why you spent two full hours this afternoon getting ready to see him, and then proceeded to flirt with him during dinner. You also practically chased him outside when he left.”

“He seemed really upset. I just wanted to make sure that he was okay.” Why was Matt doing this?

“It didn’t seem to me that you were doing a great deal of discussing matters.”

“I didn’t get dressed up for him, Matt.”

“Oh? And who exactly did you get dressed up for?”

“Who do you think?” I spat.

“I think,” he said, his eyes fixated on the road, “that you are as fixated on him as ever.”

“It’s not him, you know!” I cried, frustrated. “It’s you. How can you not see this? I’ve spent every moment I possibly can with you. I ignored Jared because you told me to. Do you not realize that I don’t follow orders? You’re the reason I tried to look pretty today, and I know that it’s impossible for me to do that when I’m ballooning up like a whale and all. And I know,” I continued, “that there is no way that you return my feelings, but I need you to understand this, Matt. It was you from the moment I met you, and no matter how badly you treat me, I’m in love with you, so just deal with it!”

He turned the car into a deserted parking lot and stared at me.

“I can’t help what happened between me and Jared. It will always be there. But you have to believe me, when he kissed me tonight, I did not kiss him back.” I touched his arm. “Look, I realize that you probably think I am insane, just like everyone else, and I realize that I am a lot to handle. I was a lot to deal with before I was even pregnant, so I cannot imagine what is going through your head right now. I know I’m impulsive, but I also know that I’m always sure of my feelings and right now it is killing me to have you look at me with such disgust. Maybe I ruined everything that ever could have been between us, and that’s my own fault, but I’m going to at least tell you that for the first time in my life, I’m in love with someone.”

He continued to stare at me. “Oh please, please spare me from all the verbal diarrhea that I am going to continue to spew until you say something,” I implored him.

“‘I’m in love with you, so just deal with it?’” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

I managed a small smile and looked down. “Okay, I realize that’s not the most romantic thing I could have said, but it is how I feel. You yourself told me I always say what comes into my head without thinking of the consequences.”

“I did say that,” he admitted.

I couldn’t look at him. “Look, I don’t expect anything in return from you, and I realize this is a bit of an awkward position for me to put you in, for which I am sorry,” I continued. “And you’re so . . . so nice. You’re wonderful, really. You wouldn’t want to hurt me, I know that. I can’t pretend to be insensible of how my saying this might affect you. I never wanted to cause you any sort of pain, but I can’t keep this to myself, and—”

Matt shut me up by kissing me. For a long time.

Kissing Matt was completely different than kissing Jared. Jared’s kisses were always borderline animalistic: they were intense, hard, and wet. Matt’s kisses were slow, sexy, and seductive.

And they left me reeling.

“Was it everything you dreamed of?” he asked when we broke apart.

“Everything and more. You do have a high opinion of yourself,” I teased, still trying to recover from what had just transpired. “Well. Here we are.”

“Yeah, Anabel, this is not something we can let anyone get hold of at the moment.” He rubbed his eyes.

“This?” My heart was light for the first time in a long time.

“You know darn well I love you too,” he growled. “I’m not totally heartless. When I told you I had been watching you for a long time, it wasn’t just because Sam was paying me. You caught my attention like no one else ever has, and I really didn’t want to take the bodyguard job, because I knew this was going to happen.”

“What was going to happen?”

“It was going to be harder to restrain myself when we were alone together.”

“So what are you saying? You fell for me the moment you met me?” I asked.

“What can I say?” He shot me a lazy smile. “I haven’t been able to think about anyone but you.”

I beamed at him.

“You can’t do that in public,” he warned.

“Do what?” I asked innocently.

“You know. Do that thing where you glow at me. You do it all the time.” His hand pushed a stray tendril out of my face.

“I’m not really one for hiding my emotions,” I pointed out.

“Yes, well, I don’t think we should tell anyone. Not your brother, certainly not Jared, and so help me if the press gets wind of it.”

“Yes, sir!” I gave a mock salute.

“Anabel,” he warned.

“Oh Matt, I’ll do my best. But can’t you just let me be happy for a moment?”

“I guess I can allow that,” he said, leaning in for another kiss.

We sat there a bit longer, me staring at him and him staring at me. Then I felt playful. “So for how long, exactly, were you going to pretend that you didn’t care about me?”

He sighed. “I would have done that until I had convinced myself that I didn’t.”

“When did you really fall for me?” I asked him. “I looked horrible that first day of the hearings, be honest.”

He frowned. “I don’t recall you ever looking horrible, kid. I did honestly feel something for you then. But I realized that my feelings for you were a problem the other night.”

“What other night?”

“Don’t you remember our encounter in the kitchen?” He kissed my cheek, very close to my ear, and whispered, “The one where I got a glimpse of your very naughty underwear?”

I gasped at him.

About four or five nights ago, I was awake at 1 a.m. I was restless. Emma had decided that I had no need of sleep and was doing acrobatics in my stomach. I was hot. So I sat up and stripped naked and laid back down, willing myself to be asleep.

Around 2 a.m. I realized that this wasn’t happening. So I got it in my head that I should do something useful.

I pulled a tank top on, the kind with the support bra to give some sort of relief to my enlarged bosom, and fished out a pair of panties from the bottom of my drawer. To my dismay, they were the lacy ones, which barely fit anymore, but all of my practical ones were either dirty or not unpacked yet. Making a mental note to get my act together, or at least have Charlotte do my laundry, I yanked them on and slowly headed downstairs.

I meandered into the kitchen, looking for something to do. Anything. My eyes settled on the stainless steel dishwasher. Perfect! I thought. I could put away dishes. That’s easy enough, right?

Well, it would’ve been if, prior to that evening, I had spent more than five minutes in the kitchen. It was an effort to go through all of the cabinets (did I really need so many?) and figure out which plate went where. Then I had to figure out where the cups went, because they apparently had a different home than the nice glasses. It also took me a fair amount of time to discern where all the silverware was housed. I was on a step stool, hanging the copper pots on the hanger, when I became conscious of someone staring at me from the stairs. I gasped and lost my balance, and in a flash Matt was there, catching me before I fell.

“You startled me,” I gasped.

“You idiot girl,” he said, with a calm rage that unnerved me. He set me down and put his hands on my shoulders, staring hard into my eyes. “What on earth were you thinking?”

“What do you mean? I—”

“That’s right,” he went on, ignoring me. “You weren’t. How do you think I felt, Anabel, when I woke up and realized you weren’t in your bed? Don’t you think it might’ve been a good idea to check in with me before you decided to go on a midnight romp in your underwear?”

“I wasn’t romping.” My cheeks were pink. “You know, this is my house. I can do what I want in it.”

“What if you had fallen, Anabel? What then? What if you had fallen and hurt yourself—or hurt the baby?”

I looked at him, stricken.

“You don’t think,” he continued. “You really don’t. Why are you awake right now, anyway?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I stared at the floor, feeling miserable. “It’s the baby, she won’t chill out.” I swallowed. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”

“Hey,” he said, reaching to push my chin up so I would look at him. I allowed him to do this, but I wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Look at me.”

So I did. His eyes were compassionate. “I’m sorry, I overreacted. It just freaked me out when you weren’t in your bed.”

I nodded, and my cheeks were still red—but for a different reason this time. Matt’s proximity to me, the fact that we were both barely dressed (Matt was wearing his trademark boxer shorts without a shirt), and my growing attraction to him all combined to make my mouth go dry. “I’m sorry, too,” I whispered.

He shook his head and grinned at me. “What am I going to do with you?”

There was no denying it. I felt saucy. “Perhaps you should punish me,” I suggested. “For being such a bad girl.”

He raised his eyebrows at me, and I expected some sort of lecture, but instead Matt gave me an appraising stare. “Oh, Anabel,” he sighed. “You’re something else, you know that? But you know what?” he whispered in my ear.

“What?” I breathed, feeling my skin tingle.

He pulled back and became businesslike once more. “You need to go back to bed. Now.”

My jaw dropped, but I refused to let him bring me down. “Whatever. You and I both know you’re thinking about how you’d like to punish me right now.”

“To bed, Anabel,” he ordered. He took me by the shoulders again and spun me around.

I giggled at him as he hurried me up the stairs. “I’m just saying, if you think I deserve a good spanking, I quite agree with you.”

He slammed his door in my face.

“So that was when you knew I was the only one for you?” I asked, grinning at him.

“It was a bit much to come down and find you in your underwear,” he recalled, shaking his head. “I was having trouble controlling myself around you. Besides,” he commented, “there’s nothing more attractive than a woman in love with you.”

I blushed, glad it was dark. “It was that easy to tell, huh?”

“It was pretty adorable when you tried to hide it. It was even better when you didn’t.”

“Oh, Matt,” I reproached him.

“Oh, Anabel,” he teased back.

“So,” I wheedled, “can we do something tomorrow? I mean, I’m going to need to practice being out in public with you and pretending like I’m not infatuated.”

He sat up a bit. “What did you have in mind?”

“Could we go to a museum?” I begged.

He looked thoughtful, and then nodded. “If you can get your brother to send a car for us, yes, we can go see the Smithsonian. But I want you dressed as unlike yourself as possible, and no drawing attention to yourself in any way. You’re going to have to wear pants.”

I looked at him in mock horror. “Oh no, not pants!”

“You always wear dresses,” he explained. “Pants, sunglasses, the whole deal. Got it?”

“It’s a deal,” I agreed.

When we got back to the house I fairly floated up to my room. Matt did his now-routine thing where he looked under my bed and checked out my shower, but all I could do was sit on my bed and beam at him.

“Well, everything looks fine. Shall I wake you up around nine then?” He looked tired.

“Nine sounds fine.” I gave him an expectant smile.

“I told you before; those eyes do not work on me. Goodnight.” And he left.

Oh, but I did not care. I undressed and slid under the covers. I was in love and life was finally good.

Chapter 39—Anabel

Until suddenly I was screaming.

Jonathan stared blankly at me, and then he fell forward. “Daddy!” I shrieked, and stepped forward, but then I stopped when I saw the gun level at me. “You,” I said, disbelieving. “How could it be you?”

I don’t know how long I screamed, but the next thing I knew, Matt was in my room. “Anabel? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is something wrong with the baby?” he asked, his voice full of concern as he approached my bed.