An Unmentionable Murder (2 page)

“He is indeed,” Elizabeth said. She couldn't help wondering what a member of the House of Lords knew about wartime recipes. Knowing the others wouldn't start before her, she picked up her fork and poked at the gooey mixture. “This does look rather odd, Violet,” she said reluctantly.

“That's because there's no meat in it,” Violet said crossly. She thumped a full boat of dark brown gravy down on the table. “Here, put some of this on it. It will make it taste better.”

“Nothing's going to make this taste better,” Sadie muttered. “Whoever heard of a shepherd's pie without meat?”

“We used up all our meat rations this week,” Violet said, ignoring Sadie and addressing Elizabeth instead. “They all went on the steaks you wanted me to buy.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I know. That was awfully extravagant, I must admit. But I did so miss Earl's steaks from the base.”

“The steaks were very nice,” Polly said helpfully.

Violet scowled. “Just thank your lucky stars you have an employer as generous as Lady Elizabeth. It isn't often an assistant gets to have her meals free.”

“Polly's more than an assistant, Violet,” Elizabeth said quietly, “as you well know. She's always welcome to eat here with us.”

Polly nodded in relief. “I do appreciate it, m'm. Now that me mum's working nights in the canteen, she gets her meals there. I'm not much of a cook and I hate being in that house all by myself. It's so creepy.”

“It must be hard for your mother, traveling back and forth to North Horsham every day,” Elizabeth said, putting off the moment when she actually had to taste the pie.

“You can take that look off your face, young lady.” Violet leaned over Sadie, dropped her own plate on the table, and sat down. “It's not going to poison you.”

“What's in it, then?” Sadie demanded.

“Everything that's good for you.” Violet picked up her knife and fork. “Potatoes, carrots, onions . . .”

“But no meat,” Sadie said with disgust. “Why is it so sticky?”

“That's the oatmeal,” Violet said, her voice rising. “Just eat it, will you, and stop complaining.”

“Where's Martin?” Elizabeth asked, more to defuse the tension than anything. “He's not usually this late for his midday meal.”

Violet shook her head at the empty chair. “Taking one of his long naps, I suppose. I'll put his plate in the oven to keep warm.” She got up from the table again and shoved the plate into the oven. Everyone winced when she slammed the door shut.

“Are you going to watch them pull down the factory tomorrow, m'm?” Sadie asked. She took a mouthful of the pie, wrinkling her nose as she tried to get it down.

“Lots of people are going up there to watch,” Polly chimed in.

“Well, neither of you will be there,” Violet said, coming back to the table. “You've both got work to do.

Though I must say, I'll be glad to be rid of that eyesore. It looked so ugly after half of it burned down. It'll be lovely to have the rest of it gone now.”

“They say they're going to use a big ball and chain to knock it down,” Sadie said, her words muffled by the bread she was chewing.

“Don't speak with your mouth full,” Violet snapped. “Finish your meal then go out there and get that washing in. It looks like rain this afternoon.”

Apparently glad of the excuse to leave the rest of her pie, Sadie jumped up. “Excuse me, m'm. I'll go and get the washing now.”

Elizabeth nodded, her mouth occupied with dealing with the pie as best she could.

“The rag and bone man says he's coming back next week.” Violet picked up her knife and fork and tackled the unappetizing food on her plate. “I was wondering what else we had to give him. I feel sorry for him, I do. He seems so down and out, and that patch over his eye makes him look even worse. Lost his eye in the war, he did, poor devil. Must be horrible to only see out of one eye.”

“He looks like a pirate,” Polly said, pushing her plate away from her. “Acts like one, too, carting off everybody's stuff. What does he do with all that rubbish, I'd like to know?”

“Sells it, of course.” Violet's expression changed as she swallowed some of her pie. She reached for the gravy boat and poured a generous amount over the offending mess on her plate. “That's what rag and bone men do. They collect stuff that nobody wants and they sell it to someone who does want it. You'd be surprised what some people will pay for stuff other people throw out. Especially from the Manor House.”

“Well,” Elizabeth murmured, giving up her valiant attempt to enjoy the meal, “perhaps we should think of selling it ourselves instead of giving it away. The roof needs repairs again, and if we don't do something about those noisy water pipes soon, nobody in the east wing is going to get any sleep.”

Violet sniffed. “Since the only people who sleep in the east wing are the American officers, and we haven't seen hide nor hair of any of them for two weeks, I'd say that's the least of our worries right now.”

“They'll be coming back any day now,” Elizabeth said quietly. “All of them.”

Something in her tone must have warned Violet, as she looked up, saying quickly, “Well, of course, I know that. I just meant for now, that's all.”

The back door flew open just then, banging against the stove, as it was apt to do when opened too wide. Sadie struggled in, bearing a large basket full of clean, dry laundry. “You'll never guess what,” she said breathlessly, as she dumped the basket in the middle of the floor. “All the bloomin' knickers are gone!”

Her statement was met with a disapproving frown from Violet, while Polly giggled behind her hand.

Elizabeth stared at Sadie, whose face was flushed with indignation. “I beg your pardon?”

“Sorry, mum. I meant the ladies' drawers. They're all
gorn
!”

Violet tutted. “Don't be ridiculous, Sadie. Undergarments simply don't just disappear. You probably didn't peg them firmly enough and the wind took them off the line.”

Sadie scowled at her. “Then where are they, I'd like to know? They'd be all over the back garden if they blew off, wouldn't they?”

“Oh, dear.” Elizabeth stared at the basket. “Are you sure, Sadie? How many pairs are missing?”

“Well, I had three pairs out there, and Violet's long drawers were out there and your knickers were out there, too, m'm—”

She broke off as Violet gasped and rose to her feet. “Sadie Buttons, how dare you discuss Madam's unmentionables!”

“Well, she asked me,” Sadie wailed.

“Violet, do sit down.” Elizabeth smiled at Sadie. “It's all right, Sadie. Sit down and get your breath. You sound as if you've been running all the way up the hill.”

“It's the shock, m'm.” Sadie sank onto her chair. “I can't think why someone would want to steal all the knick—er, unmentionables.”

“Probably that Clyde Morgan,” Violet muttered. “I knew there was something fishy about him.”

Elizabeth stared at her. “Clyde who?”

“Morgan. The rag and bone man.” Violet shook her head. “I left him in here while I went to get the curtains. I bet he stole the . . . undergarments while I was upstairs.”

Sadie made a sound of disgust. “Now who the heck would buy someone else's knickers?”

“Eeew,” Polly said, screwing up her face. “I wouldn't, even if they was washed.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Well, I don't suppose there's much we can do about it. We can hardly go around the village asking everyone if they bought ladies' drawers from the rag and bone man.”

Polly giggled again, earning a scowl from Violet.

“I'm just glad Martin isn't sitting here listening to all this,” Violet muttered.

“He'd probably have a flipping heart attack,” Sadie said, her grin suggesting she'd recovered from her shock.

Elizabeth glanced up at the clock on the mantelpiece. “He is awfully late, Violet. Do you suppose he's all right?”

Violet grunted and got to her feet. “He's probably snoring away in his bed and dreaming he's twenty again. I'll take him a cup of tea. The kettle should be boiling by now. Meanwhile, Sadie, sort out that washing and fold it. You can get the ironing done this afternoon.” She got up from the table and went over to the stove for the teakettle.

Sadie left the table to sort the laundry, and Polly pushed her chair back, too. “I'd better get back to the office, m'm,” she said. “I've got some letters to sort out.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Very well. How is your penfriend project working out these days?”

Polly and Sadie exchanged pleased glances. “We're getting lots of letters off to the boys abroad, m'm,” Polly said proudly. “Nearly all the women in the village are writing to someone over there. Marlene says the boys are ever so pleased to get the letters.”

“I'm sure they are.” Elizabeth smiled. “You and Sadie are doing something very worthwhile for the war effort. Keep it up. How is your sister? Is she keeping well?”

Polly nodded eagerly. “Marlene says as how she might be coming home soon. They're sending a lot of the ambulance drivers home from Italy, though she may have to go to France next. I just hope she can stay here for a while. I really miss her, and I know Ma does, too.”

“Well, give Marlene my regards when you write to her. Tell her I miss her, too. She always did such a beautiful job with my hair.”

Polly's smile faded. “I don't know if she'll ever go back to being a hairdresser, m'm. She says as how the war has changed her, and she's talking about becoming a nurse when it's over.”

“How splendid!” Elizabeth exclaimed. “We could certainly use dedicated people like her.”

“Yes, m'm. I'll tell her you said so.” Polly hurried out, and Elizabeth looked at Violet, who was pouring hot tea into the china teacups.

“It's very refreshing to see young people getting involved like this,” Elizabeth said.

Violet carried a steaming cup and saucer over to Elizabeth and placed it in front of her. “About time they did something,” she muttered. “Instead of nattering about film stars and clothes all the time.”

Elizabeth glanced at Sadie, who rolled her eyes but, thankfully, held her tongue.

“Don't disturb Martin if he's sleeping,” Elizabeth said, turning back to Violet. “He's seemed rather preoccupied lately. I hope he's not falling ill.”

“The only thing wrong with Martin is his mind,” Violet said crisply as she carried the cup and saucer over to the door. “If he didn't spend so much time talking to imaginary ghosts and worrying all the time about Germans invading us, he wouldn't get so worn out.”

The door swung to behind her, leaving Elizabeth alone with Sadie, who was still occupied with sorting out the laundry.

“The thing that really makes me cross, m'm,” Sadie muttered, “is that now I have to buy new knickers. I was saving up my coupons to buy a new blouse. Now I'll have to wait another two months.”

“I might be able to spare a coupon or two,” Elizabeth offered.

Sadie's face brightened considerably. “Oh, could you, m'm? That would be smashing. Really. I could pay you back later, if you like.”

“There's no need for that.” Elizabeth got up from her chair and fetched her handbag from the dresser. Opening it, she peered inside, then fished out her coupon book. “Here.” She tore out three coupons. “You may use these.”

Sadie took them with a gasp of pleasure. “That's really good of you, m'm. Thank you ever so much.”

Elizabeth smiled. “I can't have my housemaid running around without undergarments, now, can I?”

Sadie slapped a hand over a grin, just as the kitchen door burst open once more.

Violet stood in the doorway, still holding the cup and saucer. “He's not there,” she said flatly. “Martin's not in his room. He seems to have disappeared.”

CHAPTER 2

“Oh, dear,” Elizabeth murmured. “I do hope Martin hasn't got himself lost again.”

Violet stomped over to the sink and poured the tea into the drain. “Now we'll have to waste time looking for him, the silly old goat. Sadie, you look upstairs, I'll look down. If you don't find him up there, get Desmond to help you search the grounds.”

“Don't bother Desmond,” Elizabeth said, heading for the door. “I'll take the dogs and look for him outside. I could use some fresh air.” She whistled to the burly animals dozing under the table. “Come, Gracie, come, George. Walkies?”

Both dogs leapt to their feet, nearly knocking over the table in their haste to get outside.

Violet shook her head. “They'll be more hindrance than help. They'll get the scent of a rabbit and they'll be off. You'll be spending more time looking for them than you will Martin.”

Elizabeth opened the door and let the eager dogs charge into the hallway. “They're supposed to be part bloodhound,” she said, pausing in the doorway. “I'll give them Martin's scarf to sniff.”

“Just mind they don't eat it,” Violet muttered. She turned on Sadie. “Go on, girl, start looking for that old fool. He's probably up in the great hall talking to the suit of armor again.”

Sadie hurried out of the kitchen, stopping to pat the boisterous dogs on her way out. Elizabeth followed her, with Violet hot on her heels. They all parted company in the upstairs hallway, and Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief when she was out in the open air beneath a sky dotted with fluffy white clouds.

Tasting freedom, the dogs yelped and barked as they bounded across the courtyard, heading for the soft grass of the expansive lawns. Elizabeth watched them, smiling at their antics.