An Improper Situation (Sanborn-Malloy Historical Romance Series, Book One) (32 page)

His face shadowed over and those familiar eyebrows assumed their straight line.
“I thought you told me John had said nothing.”

“
Well,” she admitted, “he did say that you’d gone back there.”

Reed’s eyes narrowed.
“He shouldn’t have told you anything at all. Isn’t it a man’s right to surprise a woman when he asks for her hand in marriage?” he grumbled.

“
I don’t know, Reed. I’ve never had a man actually
ask
me,” she told him pointedly.

He flashed her the smile that always melted her stormy thoughts like butter near a hot stove.

“The weeks we were apart dragged with all the ease of Sisyphus pushing that damnable rock. I was unable to concentrate to any degree that was useful to my clients. I tried throwing myself into the social rounds, but believe it or not, they seemed tame compared to Spring City and the evenings spent with you.”

He brought her hands up to his lips, first one, then the other.

“I could think of nothing and no one but the beautiful lady writer I’d left behind. And when I could stand it no longer, when I knew I had to have you here in my life, filling it with your honesty and your intelligent conversation, not to mention your sweetness and,” he paused, giving her a wicked smile, “your curvaceous body—”

“
My what? Reed, really!” But she wasn’t the least bit upset with his words so far, except for a lingering sense of disappointment. She could not get around the fact that he had not mentioned love, the love that had taken up residence in her heart since their first days together.

Still, he had gone all that way to get her, and that couldn’t have been only for her mind and body, could it? He must want her heart, too. His wanting to marry her surely explained why he hadn’t bothered with contraception.

His expression turned serious, as he pulled her toward the sofa, pressing her to sit and then, astounding her further, by going down on one knee beside her.

“
Reed, honestly, you don’t—”

“
Ssh,” he told her, placing a finger across her lips, “I can see by your expression that I’ve gone about this all wrong, but then I’ve had no experience.” His eyes glimmered. “Now be silent, woman, and let me do this right. You deserve that.”

She let him take her hand and waited, trembling slightly, as his playful demeanor gave way once more to the serious expression. Now, she was sure he would say the words.

“Charlotte Sanborn, you are an extraordinary woman. I took the children out west myself, for the express purpose of meeting you.”

She started to tell him that she already knew that, but he hushed her with one shake of his dark head, causing a lock of hair to fall over his forehead in the way that she loved.

“When I met you, you turned out to be nothing that I expected, except for your being smart, of course. You resembled a little girl lost in that house of yours. Yet you had such a no-nonsense demeanor as if you’d never been a child. You are charming and frustrating and refreshing and infuriating—all at once.”

He bent his head, weighing his next words, then continued,
“Charlotte, I have known many women.” She frowned at this; it sounded similar to what he’d said in her bedroom last night.

“
I mean, I have been in the
company
of many women,” he corrected, “in every parlor and ballroom in this city from the time I was a young man. And they all bored me or lied to me or were just plain silly. I had it set in my head that all women were ever thus and was determined never to tie myself to one.”

He squeezed her hands.
“It just took a little while for it to sink in that I could, indeed, change my mind once I found a woman who would never bore me or lie to me, a woman who would only be silly when I coaxed it out of her, when she was naked and in my bed,” he finished, ruining the romantic speech with his excursion into the erotic.

She didn’t mind but was unable to stop the heated flush that quickly colored her neck and face.

“I must add that to my credit, I am from a fine family. I make a good living and my house, though in an unfashionable part of town, is comfortable, and,” he paused, looking as if he wanted to add one last thing to his weighty list of reasons why she should marry him.

Then he smiled sheepishly and added,
“And I am able to cook, as you already know. So, Miss Sanborn, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife and letting me assist you in raising Lily and Thomas and any other children that we have together?”

He certainly stated his case with all the ability she would expect from a lawyer. She possessed all the qualities he desired, and he was a suitable mate with many desirable traits. Now, he waited for the answer he was already certain she’d give.

Yet what was lacking in Reed’s speech was so apparent that she couldn’t help but focus on the oversight. He had made no mention of love. Charlotte had waited this long in her life—had been already called a spinster by at least three people she could recall—and she could wait a little longer for his love or, if it never came, she knew she could manage without a husband.

After all, she was a woman of the world now, a cross-continental traveler, a writer exploring a stimulating city. And, for the first time, she’d found out that she could love freely and wholly and even need someone without fear. Reed and the children had taught her that in such a short time.

When she looked at Reed’s handsome face and into his deep blue eyes, though, her stomach clenched.
What was it about this man that was holding him back from love?
She loved him completely and most definitely did not want to be without him. Wasn’t that enough to make their marriage a happy one?

Reed was obviously impatient with her silence.
“If you are waiting for my permission to speak, you have it now,” he urged.

“
Thank you, Mr. Malloy, for your permission and for your kind offer.” She felt him caressing her hand with his thumb. Most likely, he was certain of her answer, and this irked her.

Was she supposed to be so grateful to have finally been plucked from the tree of single womanhood, as he’d once described it, that she should settle for a loveless union? Wouldn’t he grow tired of her, as he’d done of Helen, within a couple years if there was no love to hold them together? She swallowed and removed her hand from his. 

“I’m afraid, as things stand now, I shall have to turn you down.”

Reed looked thunderstruck, rising immediately to his feet.

“Charlotte,” he started quietly, “you’re not the type of woman to play games. Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it.”

She smiled at that and, rising to her feet, she touched his cheek in a gentle caress. It was a dear thing to say, she thought, though it ran against her nature to rely on someone else to fix anything.

Previously, his statement would even have made her angry, but at that moment, she was too embarrassed to tell him what was wrong or to ask him outright:
By the way, do you think you will come to love me for I need to hear those words once before I die?
It would be more than a little humiliating to remind the man who wanted to marry her that he was supposed to declare his love first.

Deep in her heart, Charlotte believed that love followed attraction and passion, as inevitably as day followed night—but she did not want to make the mistake of marrying first and then waiting for love to occur, just in case it never happened.

With a newfound confidence, however, she believed instinctively that he would come to love her, for she would make herself eminently lovable and he would succumb. All they needed was a little time and the match would be as ideal as he’d described it. Meanwhile, she had to give him a reason.

“
I have only just arrived in Boston, Reed. As far as society is concerned, it would look highly suspicious, extremely improper, for us to be engaged so quickly.”

“
Damn society—” he began, but she shook her head at his violent oath.

“
It’s not just for appearance, though; with Lily and Thomas at stake, I cannot do otherwise. It is just as you said it would be. I
do
feel liberated here. I want to experience my new life and make sure I like it enough to stay. It’s just happening too fast,” she finished, turning away slightly, feeling she was coming uncomfortably close to telling him a lie.

He took her chin in his hand and made her look directly at him.
“I am a reasonable man, Charlotte. I understand your hesitations and respect them, but I would prefer you experienced the city under the aegis of being my fiancée than as an unchaperoned single woman.”

“
Then you shall chaperone me, whenever you wish.” She smiled tremulously. By spending more time with her, either Reed would fall for her or he would withdraw his proposition.

Reed tried one more time to understand her hesitation,
“Does your refusal have anything to do with my past association with Helen, or anything she may have said?”

Charlotte considered her answer. She ventured to ask him the question that had bothered her for days.
“Are you sure that all your associations with Helen are in the past? I saw you leave the ball with her.”

“
And I know you left the ball with Jason. Should I be worried?”

“
That’s not the same thing, Reed. I am trying to protect myself from any hint of scandal where you’re concerned—no thanks to Mrs. Belgrave. Have you forgotten that she has threatened me? She would just love for Aunt Alicia to send me packing with or without the children.”

“
I think Helen is bluffing. She has nothing to gain by making you lose the children or by making you leave.”

Charlotte raised her eyebrow.
“Does she know that? Are you positive she understands that you don’t want what she offers anymore? Because I believe she thinks she has a lot to gain from riding me out of town on a rail.”

“
I have told her, in no uncertain terms, that she has no future with me.”

“
When you joined her in St. Louis?”

He expelled his breath in a loud puff.
“We’ve been over this. I stopped there to speak with her, so that she completely understood the situation before either one of us returned to Boston.”

He looked directly into her eyes.
“If you’re still wondering in that overly busy brain of yours . . . no, Charlotte, I didn’t go to bed with Helen in St. Louis. I have not touched her since I met you.”

She looked at her feet.
“Well, that is nice to hear.”

“
And Farnsworth?” Reed continued. “Is he just for appearances’ sake?”

“
Not exactly,” Charlotte admitted, truthfully. “He has been gracious about showing me around and making sure I don’t feel as though I’m an outsider. But mostly, yes, I’ll admit that my keeping company with Jason is helping to convince my aunt that I am not a moral pariah.”

Reed remained silent and Charlotte rushed in to fill the silence.
“Just by association with him, Alicia sees me as a respectable young woman with one of Boston’s finest courting me, and he doesn’t even know how useful he is.”

Reed looked grim.
“You are learning how to survive here very quickly, Charlotte. Using people for your own ends is undeniably the first lesson.”

She felt as if she’d been slapped.
Was that truly how he saw it?

“
Well, I set much store by your opinion. If your treatment of Mrs. Belgrave is any indication, you are certainly the master where manipulation is concerned. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must—”

Charlotte was interrupted by the entrance of a lady, petite and brown-haired, bearing a tray with a silver coffee urn and two china cups sitting on matching blue and gold saucers. The aroma of rich coffee blended with the subtle flowery fragrance of the woman herself.

“Jeanine, you’ve returned. This is Miss Charlotte Sanborn,” Reed introduced, his voice having lost the lighthearted tone he’d used in introducing her to Pierre.

The lady only smiled at her and nodded, setting down the tray. She didn’t say a word before she left the room.

Reed shrugged. “Her English is not as fluent as her husband’s, which makes her a bit shy around strangers.”

Charlotte was thankful for the interruption; it forced her to calm down and remember that their unpleasant exchange had arisen from the fact that Reed had asked for her hand.

In truth, she would love to be able to accept his proposal, if only she were certain she could win his whole heart, and not just captivate his head and his desires. As if reading her changing emotions, Reed took her hand and pulled her down with him onto the sofa once more.

“
Of course, I have trouble thinking of you as a stranger.” His voice was even again, and it seemed he, too, had regained his good humor. The feeling of his thigh pressed next to her own ignited the quick passion that seemed never far from the surface when they were together.

He leaned toward her and she closed her eyes. A moment later, his lips were on hers, tenderly at first, then more insistently. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him closely.